View Full Version : Who else hates their parents?
Lerky
2008-11-14, 08:14 PM
I am so pissed at my dad right now! I study for 2 whole days for a damn math re-take and than I stay after school for an hour and a half on a friday. After that I just want to relax and go to the prom in the playground. But all of a sudden just because of 1 missing homework I'm not allowed on the computer! After all I did! All I tried! He still doesn't even care!:furious:
Red Sock
2008-11-14, 08:19 PM
Parents don't like it when you screw up. They may punish you. Sometimes too severely. Deal with it, and stop hating your dad over something so minor.
Lerky
2008-11-14, 08:23 PM
I'm just pissed because after all I tired and did, it wasn't enough in his eyes and...that just really upsets me in a ton of diffrent ways
Yoritomo Himeko
2008-11-14, 08:26 PM
Lot's of us understand what you're going through. It's very frustrating when you do all you can and it's just not enough.
I think your parents just want you to do your very best.
I'm sure they'll relax after a while.
Player_Zero
2008-11-14, 08:26 PM
My dad's a p****. Yes I am fully justified. That is all.
Also, I see this thread heading to locksville.
Red Sock
2008-11-14, 08:26 PM
I'm just pissed because after all I tired and did, it wasn't enough in his eyes and...that just really upsets me in a ton of diffrent ways
Still not much of a reason to hate him. Parents can do much worse than some strict punishments. For example, my dad used to beat me when I was a kid.
Haruki-kun
2008-11-14, 08:29 PM
No, I don't think I do. Furthermore, I really think that justification for hating one's parents requires a lot more than lost computer rights.
Lerky
2008-11-14, 08:30 PM
yeah, I knew a guy who the same thing happened. It could always be worse. Sometimes I feel as if my dad is teetering on striking me. He's only done it once before though. This is mainly a thread just to express teen angst. I realize how hard it is for teens to talk about things to family or even friends, I usually storm into my room and start yelling out randomly, talking to myself. This thread is the first time I've actually spoken what I thought to other people.
EDIT: It's not the computer thing that has me pissed. It's the fact that I tried sooooo hard and it wasn't even close to enough
Crispy Dave
2008-11-14, 08:33 PM
dude....
My Dad is a alcoholic Pot addicted man.He decided it would be good to marry a woman who hates me because she can't have kids anymore and she wanted me to be her child. Things got so bad im not even allowed to see my Step mother.
My mother is completely addicted to Pot. She forgets things all the time and blams everything on someone else. My mother wants we to watch my sister almost every night but when it comes to me wanting to teach her any morals and stop her from being a "prosti-tot" I cant do anything. She likes to leave and then not come back until the next morning leaving us alone all night.
and guess theres people out there even worse off then me. I dont do this to try to prove I have it worse then you or anything I just want you to realize what you do have.
Lerky
2008-11-14, 08:35 PM
well...I guess I made a pretty stupid thread, trying to express myself and what I was thinking. Whatever though, I respect everyone here and will gladly let this thread die.
pingcode20
2008-11-14, 08:37 PM
Yeah, sometimes it's good to just vent and let it all out.
Don't worry - better to go write an angry post on a forum of kind, supportive people who may or may not have it worse than you than to bottle it up.
Mr. Moon
2008-11-14, 08:41 PM
Firstly: Don't feel bad, Lerky. It's better to vent your feelings then to let them bottle up like I do. :smallsigh:
Second: I have no idea what it's like to hate one's parents. I love my mom - she's a good woman and does her best for me. As for my old man, I just plain disrespect him, for reasons I can't go into here due to the forum rules. I don't hate him - yet.
Crispy Dave
2008-11-14, 08:41 PM
well...I guess I made a pretty stupid thread, trying to express myself and what I was thinking. Whatever though, I respect everyone here and will gladly let this thread die.
its not a stupid thread I completely agree that its good to vent I just made a huge mistake before based on the fact I thought my life was worse off then everyone else in the world.
Raiser Blade
2008-11-14, 08:42 PM
Hey man don't worry. We all feel your pain on some level. All relationships are tough and parents can be even more so. I don't hate my parents but there are times I could [insert extreme action here] out of anger. If you need to vent that's normal but don't go all medievil on your parents because trust me that only makes things worse.
Zarrexaij
2008-11-14, 09:13 PM
Just do what I do and read a whole lot of books. Pick up a hobby or something. :smalltongue:
TigerHunter
2008-11-14, 09:17 PM
*raises hand*
RTGoodman
2008-11-14, 09:19 PM
You know parents are the same, no matter time or place; they don't understand that us kids are gonna make some mistakes. So to you other kids all across the land - there's no need to argue, parents just don't understand.
Man, that Will Smith is a genius. ;-)
Seriously, though, it's something that everyone goes through at some points, but its always to get stuff off your chest, else you'll end up a black-hearted cynic like me. :smalltongue: Zarrexaij's right, too - reading or whatever other hobby you pick up is a good way to deal, especially if it's something that's productive or self-improving.
Flame of Anor
2008-11-14, 09:21 PM
Aw, man, Crispydave, that sounds awful. :smallfrown: As long as you still have internet access, though, we'll be here for you...not that we can do parent-unaddictions or sister-moralizations, but I think I speak for the majority of Playgrounders when I say that we want to support you in your hard situation.
Korith
2008-11-14, 09:25 PM
I am so pissed at my dad right now! I study for 2 whole days for a damn math re-take and than I stay after school for an hour and a half on a friday. After that I just want to relax and go to the prom in the playground. But all of a sudden just because of 1 missing homework I'm not allowed on the computer! After all I did! All I tried! He still doesn't even care!:furious:
Firstborn?
They may not have found the balance yet.
ColonelFuster
2008-11-14, 09:34 PM
Firstborn?
They may not have found the balance yet.
Hup.:smallsigh: Beat me to it.
Wait for it to pan out, man, and discuss things with them like an adult if something upsets you. This freaks parents out to no end, and they'll cave the first three or four times, guaranteed.
Fawkes
2008-11-14, 09:40 PM
Who else hates their parents? Just about everyone, at some point or another. All I can say is it gets better, eventually.
Renegade Paladin
2008-11-14, 09:46 PM
Then you shouldn't have missed any homework. Your education is more important than an Internet forum.
darkninjaoflight
2008-11-14, 09:55 PM
Like everyone has said, it's good to vent. Don't feel bad about writing a harmless little thread like this.
I just want to maybe put things in perspective a little bit though. You mention that after all you've done they aren't acknowledging your actions and hard work? Consider all the things that your parents have done for you, or do daily. :smallwink: Parents do soooo much work that gets taken for granted and without thanks. And they do it just to see you smile or in this case, succeed. It's perfectly fine to get angry and feel oppressed, but don't forget to look at things through the other person's perspective too.
Pyrian
2008-11-14, 10:00 PM
Your education is more important than an Internet forum.Most of my friends and I have jobs and futures that came from the stuff we enjoyed in our spare time rather than the educations that we were forced (with varying degrees of success) to complete. Education is very, very important - but it is NOT synonymous with school!
Renegade Paladin
2008-11-14, 10:09 PM
Most of my friends and I have jobs and futures that came from the stuff we enjoyed in our spare time rather than the educations that we were forced (with varying degrees of success) to complete. Education is very, very important - but it is NOT synonymous with school!
Rubbish. Without the grounding you got from your primary education, you'd have had nothing to build on for those interests. I guarantee things wouldn't have worked out so well for you were you illiterate and unable to perform basic arithmetic. :smallamused:
Deathslayer7
2008-11-14, 10:15 PM
Rubbish. Without the grounding you got from your primary education, you'd have had nothing to build on for those interests. I guarantee things wouldn't have worked out so well for you were you illiterate and unable to perform basic arithmetic. :smallamused:
please. I can do triple integrals, and yet they are rarely used. I find sequences and series mostly pointless.
I find that finding the volume for a 3-D graph, the hyper-volume confusing and inexplainable. And as always, useless.
Simple arithmetic is needed at the very end when you have to add or subtract, and yet it is the process of setting up the problem that matters, not the algebraic mistakes you might make.
Relating this back to life and school, it is the thought that counts more than the action (not true in all cases, but in most). He tried hard to learn, and he might have missed one assignment, I know I do, and he is punished. To me, it is the tought that counts, as long as he passed his test of course. If he still failed the test, then that is a whole different matter. :smalltongue:
darkninjaoflight
2008-11-14, 10:15 PM
Most of my friends and I have jobs and futures that came from the stuff we enjoyed in our spare time rather than the educations that we were forced (with varying degrees of success) to complete. Education is very, very important - but it is NOT synonymous with school!
You could say that, but punishment for missing a single homework assignment is also teaching the importance of getting the work that is assigned to you done. No slacking, no excuses.
Oh geez I need to get working on my school projects XD
Klose_the_Sith
2008-11-14, 10:21 PM
Then you shouldn't have missed any homework. Your education is more important than an Internet forum.
The words of someone who has never attended Daramalan ...
Artemician
2008-11-14, 10:24 PM
please. I can do triple integrals, and yet they are rarely used. I find sequences and series mostly pointless.
I find that finding the volume for a 3-D graph, the hyper-volume confusing and inexplainable. And as always, useless.
The annoying thing about Paper Qualifications is that they're not guaranteed to bring you success, but without them your stab at any sort of good job is made all the much harder. 80% of what I'm doing in school right now, I'll probably find redundant (all maths and sciences save the simple basics, Literature, History, Co-curricular activities etc) but - for my chance at a scholarship, and by extension, chance at a high-paying job, I stick it through.
Don't like it? Tough. That's the modern state of the world for you. Companies don't take care of you anymore. Making yourself employable is just too important.
God, did I just say that? And me still in my freshman year. Wow.
Myatar_Panwar
2008-11-14, 10:30 PM
Rubbish. Without the grounding you got from your primary education, you'd have had nothing to build on for those interests. I guarantee things wouldn't have worked out so well for you were you illiterate and unable to perform basic arithmetic. :smallamused:
But you learn all the basics so early. In fact, I would go so far as to say that you don't need much more than what you are taught in elementary school and middle school.
I'm a senior in High School right now, and I find essentially all of my classes pretty pointless when I look forward to the types of jobs I may do in the future. Especially pre-cal. Basic math, maybe even a bit of algebra, yes. That can be very useful no matter what your profession. But if you need anything past that, then I'd assume your job/trade school wouldn't mind teaching you (or hell, learn yourself. Your highschool can't prepare you for exactly what your job will require). No need to cram everything you need to know to be a math teacher, and not much else.
Though I certainly did find some post middle school classes useful. Econ/Govt, maybe English 1 and 2 (3 and 4, at least at my school, is such rubbish). Also I particuaraly found basic Physics very interesting, giving you some insight into how stuff in the real world works.
On hating parents: I don't hate my parents, as they are very easy (as in not strict), but some parents annoy the **** out of me. I especially hate it when parents use basic guidelines given out by certain organizations to raise their children. Example: Waiting till their child is 17 to play an M rated game or see an R rated movie, just because it tells you to. Your child is an individual, and even though you have absolute power, there is no need to restrict your children from doing certain things when in actuality they are ready for such things.
Elrond
2008-11-14, 10:57 PM
i do really hate my parents coz they always freaking call the cops on me when i do something wrong like going down to the city with some friends to do park oar lessons:smallfurious:
Griever
2008-11-14, 11:01 PM
I'm a senior in High School right now, and I find essentially all of my classes pretty pointless when I look forward to the types of jobs I may do in the future. Especially pre-cal. Basic math, maybe even a bit of algebra, yes. That can be very useful no matter what your profession. But if you need anything past that, then I'd assume your job/trade school wouldn't mind teaching you (or hell, learn yourself. Your highschool can't prepare you for exactly what your job will require). No need to cram everything you need to know to be a math teacher, and not much else.
Heh, you're on the very TIP of the iceberg in the mathematical world. You haven't even ventured into any real math, you don't know how any of the forumulas you might use were found in reality, nothing... (the area of a square, for example, is actually an integral from Calculus)
This day and age with education especially, you find a lot of people outsourcing their brains to things like calculators and what-not; taking the easy route instead of learning how things have been found.
Heh, even Physics for example, you said you liked it, right?
You should have been given a basic equation like this:
x(final) - x(initial) = v(initial)t + (1/2)at^2
Would you like to know how they found this? It took two integrals. Two very basic integrals from Calculus. Although, you can't really do Calculus with some Pre-Cal, and you can't do Pre-Cal or Calculus without lots of Algebra, etc.
Don't underestimate the value of any math or science (other than polisci, it isn't a science). :smallbiggrin:
Copacetic
2008-11-14, 11:04 PM
The Math thing is pretty harsh. But what most Parents don't realize is Kids are PEOPLE TOO and are therefore subject to to the crap most people put them through. Usually more so. Kids's behavior is treated more exscuable in bad areas and less exscuable in good areas. For Example, Crimes/Bullying. Juvie in my area has a three strike poilicy. While not Turing in one assignment in Math loses me my computer privilages until I due the assignment and get an A for it. Due I get three strikes for an assingment? Heck No! But if I, say decide, to throw a rock through someone's window, I get to do it twice more before facing punishment from the state. So Kids are more likely to act badly than good, which puts more strain on kids. So Parents, ease off some. STRESS =/= good.
I pretty much love my parents. They gave me the childhood every kid should have, and have always been fair and loving. We have our disagreements of course, but they have always taken care of me and I feel indebted to them.
Myatar_Panwar
2008-11-15, 12:17 AM
@ Griever:
I was more interested in the more everyday applications of Physics. Things which come off as common sense, but something you might have never thought of. In fact, I should mention that my Physics class was in no way advanced, and in-fact was far more suited to what I found useful in the subject. Conceptual Physics.
And I probably would be far more interested in math if I thought it would be a important aspect of my future career. But I really don't see myself anywhere near a job which would require math so advanced. Thus I just find it kind of... silly to have such requirements (actually, Pre-Cal wasn't exactly required. My mom made me take it :smallannoyed:). As far as I see I'm taking alot of these classes so that I will be able to perform when I get to college and take the next level of said courses, only to graduate from there and not use it (at least with general education).
Though I do understand that too much education can never be a bad thing, just kind of annoys me when I talk to older (yet sucsessful people), only to hear that they have forgotten nearly everything they had learned. Its especially funny to hear that they took 2 years or more of spanish (Required where I'm from) and can't hardly remember a bit of it.
KerfuffleMach2
2008-11-15, 12:22 AM
Ok Lerky, let me ask you this. And please, don't take any offense from what I will be saying?
Is this the first assignment you've ever missed? Have you had a recent rash of missing papers? Have you been neglecting chores or something like that? That punishment most likely isn't just for that one offense. It's a build up.
Now, you mentioned that you feel that he doesn't care about the good things you did, only the bad. This could be true. I don't know. But it's also possible that he does care about the good. He just cares more about you not messing up. Yeah, that didn't sound right. What I mean is, he wants you to do good all the time. Hmmm. I can't that sound good. I'm trying, though. Ok, one more time. He wants you to succeed in life. He might have trouble knowing the right way to get that message across to you. Talk with him. Tell him what you feel about the matter. It's likely to help. If you feel like you can't sit down and talk with him, try writing him a letter. Explain that you're having trouble talking to him, which is why you wrote the letter. This could work wonders.
Anywho, on to my parents. I love my mom to death. She can be a little controlling and over-protective at times. But she is a wonderful person who understands what it's like being my age, and I am able to have serious talks with her fairly easily.
My father, on the other hand, well, let's just say he lost the right to be called dad in my mind. He never really was a good father or husband. He wasn't abusive or anything like that. He just always wanted to go and do what he wanted, with no regards for the consequences. Couple years ago, he just up and left. Parents got divorced, and now he's living almost 300 miles away. He has nothing to do with me or my brothers. Both my brothers have called him a few times since then. He answers and talks a little while. Then he says he'll call them in a couple days or a week or something like that. He doesn't. I have lost all respect for him. I don't hate him, no. I just don't respect him anymore.
xPANCAKEx
2008-11-15, 01:15 AM
as a fly in the ointment to this thread, can i just say i LOVE my parents
Krytha
2008-11-15, 05:03 AM
I thought I hated my dad when I was a kid, but I guess I didn't understand what he was like. I love my mom - she is an amazing woman who was essentially a single working mom even though my parents arent divorced - but I rarely saw my dad who was working all the time and was overactive on the weekends which was usually the only time we saw him.
My dad did far worse than take away computer privileges, but try to understand where your parents are coming from and maybe you will see that they're not just out to get you.
Dallas-Dakota
2008-11-15, 05:11 AM
DISLIKE! Yes, hate? No.
They A Simply don't understand.
B my dad is a agressive pacifist and if I ever get into a fight nomatter what will be very upset about it.
C My mother is a mild control freak.
thubby
2008-11-15, 05:37 AM
hate my father, love my mother, and yes i have a good reason.
Castaras
2008-11-15, 06:54 AM
I pretty much love my parents. They gave me the childhood every kid should have, and have always been fair and loving. We have our disagreements of course, but they have always taken care of me and I feel indebted to them.
Agreed.
I can end up arguing quite easily with my mum (we both are extremely stubborn and when we're angry, we stay angry), but I love her to bits. She's always there for me, I can talk to her about anything, and she is, overall, an amazing person. I am very glad I have her.
Dad is an awesome person as well. I get on extremely well with him, and we have a lot in common - we both listen to the same music, and we think in the same sort of way. He's normally the person I'd go to if I'm depressed, and when I do this, it always ends up with me feeling much happier.
So yes. I don't hate my parents. I'll get annoyed at them, scream at them, argue with them... but they're amazing people.
Now, don't tell Lensman or Starfish I said this. They'd need a new size in hats. :smallwink:
Jen0608
2008-11-15, 06:58 AM
I love my parents because they always want me to be safe and they love me so dearly.
Ninja Chocobo
2008-11-15, 07:38 AM
I have four parents, all of which are lawyers. Trying to argue with them is an exercise in futility.
As a result, my futility is huge.
My father also has a complete inability to admit he's wrong.
Cubey
2008-11-15, 08:56 AM
Parents don't like it when you screw up. They may punish you. Sometimes too severely. Deal with it, and stop hating your dad over something so minor.
I fully agree with Red Sock over there. Unless you have really messed up parents, like those of crispydave or a pair of sadists who regularly beat you up or torture you emotionally (and no, yelling at doesn't count) for no reason, you have no right to hate them. Especially over small bans like the one you received.
matiris
2008-11-15, 09:36 AM
Rubbish. Without the grounding you got from your primary education, you'd have had nothing to build on for those interests. I guarantee things wouldn't have worked out so well for you were you illiterate and unable to perform basic arithmetic. :smallamused:
you know what you are really geting rude, quit it
Gem Flower
2008-11-15, 09:45 AM
I love my parents, who are kind, loving, and understanding people. I can't imagine not loving them...
Almighty Salmon
2008-11-15, 10:00 AM
The one thing I don't like about my parents is their lack of belief in me.
They don't think I have the skill or discipline to do what I really want to do, so i'm off at college taking a horrible and dreadfully boring course just to keep them pleased. For now, anyway.
But, yeah, apart from that they're okay.
Kris Strife
2008-11-15, 10:00 AM
I have a psycho stepmom who hates me. (and I can back this up with numerous incidents and witnesses) she turned my dad against me to the point where him coming to visit gives me severe heartburn with in a minute of him arriving.
Theyre also the reason I have to use a PSP to get online.
Renegade Paladin
2008-11-15, 10:14 AM
you know what you are really geting rude, quit it
1.) I don't answer to you.
2.) Capitalization, punctuation, grammar, and proper spelling are your friends.
Pyrian
2008-11-15, 11:21 AM
I guarantee things wouldn't have worked out so well for you were you illiterate and unable to perform basic arithmetic. :smallamused:Aye, but the degree to which I gained literacy and math skills from school utterly pails in comparison to the degree to which I gained literacy and math skills from reading, gaming, and programming. And I assure you, my parents were not happy about it at the time. Had I spent more time doing (mostly worthless) schoolwork and less time writing computer games, I would be far less prepared for my current responsibilities. :smallamused:
I found that once you leave home you end up loving both your parrents. However, I doubt my dad would be the kind of person I'd get along with if he wasn't my father.
darkninjaoflight
2008-11-15, 11:56 AM
Aye, but the degree to which I gained literacy and math skills from school utterly pails in comparison to the degree to which I gained literacy and math skills from reading, gaming, and programming. And I assure you, my parents were not happy about it at the time. Had I spent more time doing (mostly worthless) schoolwork and less time writing computer games, I would be far less prepared for my current responsibilities. :smallamused:
Indeed, but that's because, hey, coding computer games and reading involve continual practice of something. Naturally, you become good at it and it prepares you for a career using those skills. Same thing with anything in school. People often don't remember more complex math and science because they never try to continue their studies of it. We learn our basics because, well, we keep relearning and using them throughout our lives, not because they're the only things worth learning. What is worthless schoolwork to some becomes vital to others. That's just how it is. Doesn't hurt to have a broad education. Sheesh, even if you don't remember much from math class, it still makes it that much easier when you go back at it later in life.
I was always good at math in school, and I took a computer science class in high school. In college, we're forced to take programming classes for some reason, for our major it's almost useless. I didn't remember much from computer science and math, but when I got back into it man did it come back. Anyone who didn't have prior programming experience still didn't get it after three quarters of the stuff...and this was going over the basics again and again and again.
Pyrian
2008-11-15, 12:30 PM
I don't particularly disagree with any of that. The high value I've learned to place on extra-curricular activity is not in itself an indictment of traditional education. I merely take issue with the knee-jerk reaction that schoolwork - any, all, and all the time - is necessarily always more important, particularly since in the experience of myself and a large percentage of those I know, our careers came from our hobbies as opposed to our majors. Imagine if my parents had succeeded in disconnecting me from my computer hobbies (they did try) - I would not have been able to acquire the primary skills I now use on a daily basis.
Would I still be literate if I had neglected my schoolwork from kindergarten on? I, in fact, did, and am. School is there to provide education, but it is not synonymous, nor IMO even the best form.
Raiser Blade
2008-11-15, 01:05 PM
you know what you are really geting rude, quit it
you know what you are really geting bossy, stop whining
zeratul
2008-11-15, 01:16 PM
Then you shouldn't have missed any homework. Your education is more important than an Internet forum.
Pffft, everyone misses some homework now and then. Hell I probably get almost one assignment a week in late and I still have a B-A in all my classes.
Silence
2008-11-15, 01:48 PM
I am so pissed at my dad right now! I study for 2 whole days for a damn math re-take and than I stay after school for an hour and a half on a friday. After that I just want to relax and go to the prom in the playground. But all of a sudden just because of 1 missing homework I'm not allowed on the computer! After all I did! All I tried! He still doesn't even care!:furious:
Holy s***. That's exactly what happened to me.
13_CBS
2008-11-15, 01:51 PM
After looking back on what my mother has done for me (not my father, the worthless old fool), I have come to regard those who "hate" their sacrificing parents with much scorn.
Anteros
2008-11-15, 02:43 PM
If you "did your best" then why didn't your assignment get turned in? Don't tell me "your best" can't handle the workload of a high school or middle school math class. That's a lie.
And saying you hate your parents? For punishing you because you didn't do your school work?
You have no idea the kind of sacrifices parents make for their children out of pure love. For you to come on here and tell a bunch of strangers how much you "hate" them over something so petty is incredibly childish and ungrateful.
Edit: I misread the original post, and assumed the original poster was older than he probably is. Changed post to reflect this.
It is the parents' job to enforce discipline on their children in order to rear them up to be responsible adults. Trust me when I say that it is in no way an easy responsibility. And not everyone gets it right all the time.
My best advice to any of you is to talk it over with your parents without the emotion. Rational discourse is going to be your best method of changing disciplinary practices in your house.
In my opinion talks with your kids, especially ones where you are forced to limit their fun, should be done with total transparency. Consistency is nice too. But keep in mind parents can be just as emotional and irrational as their kids can be. Those genes are inherited from somewhere afterall. :smallsmile:
Bitzeralisis
2008-11-15, 04:23 PM
When I hate my parents, I get a voice in my head yelling at me about how irrational I'm being. I'll always love them forever.
Klose_the_Sith
2008-11-15, 04:34 PM
hate my father, love my mother, and yes i have a good reason.
This is exactly how I feel.
Zeb The Troll
2008-11-16, 08:16 PM
It is the parents' job to enforce discipline on their children in order to rear them up to be responsible adults. Trust me when I say that it is in no way an easy responsibility. And not everyone gets it right all the time.
My best advice to any of you is to talk it over with your parents without the emotion. Rational discourse is going to be your best method of changing disciplinary practices in your house.
In my opinion talks with your kids, especially ones where you are forced to limit their fun, should be done with total transparency. Consistency is nice too. But keep in mind parents can be just as emotional and irrational as their kids can be. Those genes are inherited from somewhere afterall. :smallsmile:Ah, Trog. Once again beating me to the punch. :smallcool:
My daughter and I resolved many an issue through both rational and emotional discussion. Not all of them, mind you, and I know that she's been incredibly upset with me at times. But also know that she knows that everything I did was what I thought was best for her and never out of malice and I know that in the end, today, she loves me for it whether she agreed with my reasoning or not.
Also *hugs Trog for 'National Hug A Trog Day'*
Allysian
2008-11-16, 08:20 PM
Awwwwwww, Zeb's a good father. Family moment. Awwwww. :smallsmile:
Moff Chumley
2008-11-16, 09:04 PM
I see where you're coming from, and I can definitely empathize. As to anyone accusing Lerky of being childish, I think you need to consider what children tend to be.
As to school, I find it can vary from subject to subject. English, I find, up to a point at least, is essential depending on careers. The thing is, however, it can be self taught relatively easily. Non native languages, on the other hand, require a teacher, unless you're very dedicated to learning the language by yourself and know EXACTLY how your going to go about doing it, and even then, you'll still not be very good at it unless you're immersed in the language. Sciences are also similar to language, however, depending on careers, they can be unessential. Math, in my opinion, is a basically a language, and I have the same opinions of it as I do other languages. A teacher, and immersion, are almost essential, unless you're extremely dedicated to learning it yourself. Most other subjects can be self taught with little or no difficulty. Note that these are all just ideals, and that many schools (In America!) fall short of matching these ideals.
AmberVael
2008-11-16, 09:13 PM
I don't hate my parents, but I sure have reasons to be upset and negatively emotional towards them.
After all, when I'm going through huge life changes and need support, I'm essentially told that:
1) They can't relate or understand, and they're honestly not trying too hard
2) My choices are abhorrent and unsupported by them
3) They're making horrible choices for myself mentally and physically
4) That this was essentially like me dying, except without a sense of finality to it.
Sure, I know that they're saying all that because they love me and don't want to see me 'ruining my life' but you know, it's not exactly the environment I need either way?
The Extinguisher
2008-11-16, 10:23 PM
They can be unreasonable, stubborn and controlling, but I'd never be able to hate them.
There are certainly times where I don't like them at all, and they're pretty frequent with the stress of leaving home/going to post-secondary hanging over my head, but I could never hate them.
Sneak
2008-11-16, 10:32 PM
My mother can sometimes meddle in my life a bit too much and be a bit overprotective, and my father has a temper that he tends to lose quite often. But they're my parents, and I know that they just try to do what they think is best for me, even if their opinion of what is best doesn't perfectly mesh with mine. I love my parents.
I've got nothing to complain about there.
Maybe if my parents weren't so nice, I would have someone other than myself to blame my failures and my dysfunction on...but alas, no such luck. I guess that's just a burden I'll have to bear. :smallsigh: :smalltongue:
The Orange Zergling
2008-11-16, 10:38 PM
My mother was my only real ally in the darkest days of my brother's "issues". She's a genuinely good person, and I love her.
My father... means well, but he's kind of asshattish, unreasonable, at times illogical, can turn absolutely anything you say into something resembling "Well, it's your fault for [not] doing XYZ," and generally frustrating to be around or work with. He's my father, though, and I love him for that, but he doesn't look like he's changing any time soon. Soon in this case being in the next aeon or so.
Khanderas
2008-11-18, 05:08 AM
I had to be forced though my english homework, often to tears the first two years (4th and 5th grade, being Swedish). After that, my mental block came off and I got a grade of 5 (out of 5, or as americans would put it, an A+), scored perfect on the higher educations test after swedish version of High School (english section that is), went for a highschool year in the USA (where I got A in English IV (senior class) without even trying).
Quite possible your dad believes you can do better and pushes you to achieve it. No comp-time is farily light.:smallsmile:
My own dad is an awesome guy though, a tiny fellah, who astonishes me on a regular basis on what he can do. Work for 10-14 hours a day 7 days a week. No problem. And then local politics ? Bring it on. And then a juror (of sorts, swedish justice is not the one on TV) for another dozen hours a week... getting tight so he only did that for three years.
My old man is crazy and I wish I had his energy in getting crap done.
Oh man how I wish... 64 year old too.
Jonesh
2008-11-18, 07:51 PM
Khanderas: ah mah gawd en svensk här förutom mig! :smalltongue:
On-topic, I find it hard to enter the discussion here. I think I can just regale to you the tale of my father, an incredibly stubborn man, why, he's almost as stubborn as I am and I am as stubborn as, well, a thousand dogs!
Dogs aren't particularly stubborn, but that is a lot of dogs.
E.g. he always "knows" he is right. Even when he isn't. He thought I was (think I am?) gay or something because I play roleplaying games (which he thinks is, you know, "that kind of games" :smalltongue:) and I own ONE pair of leather pants.
- I have a friend who plays those kind of roleplaying games.
- Which one of your friends is it? (He has like two close friends, this will be referenced to soon)
- I can't tell you because if they found out he would be punished. Like I've said before I know all about those kind of games.
- Uh... Ok Dad. I'm not going to cite unknown sources but like I've told you before, IT IS NOTHING LIKE THAT.
- No, you're wrong. I know you're being punished by your friends.
- Dad, I lent my Xbox to my friend because I wanted to try to focus a little more on my studies and I thought it would be a nice gesture towards my friend (He only had a sub-par PC and PS2 pretty much. Also, I visited almost every other weekend).
And it went on like that for a while.
Another discussion:
- Do you have a piercing (if you know what I mean)? I know gay people are fond of that.
- HAHAHA WHAT. Just let it go Dad, I'm not like that.
tl;dr
- Back in my day if you wore leather, you were gay.
- Yeah Dad, it was called the 70's. That was 30 years ago.
He has also cut off my access to internet and such because I've had a really hard time with finding work and starting to study again. Which is kind of a pain since it is decidedly easier to do those things with the magickal internet's help.
But... Admittedly, I am kind of a bum. :smallredface: But it's by choice! I just didn't expect my savings to drain away that fast... :smallfrown:
And I saved the worst for last; the last time in maybe 8 years he hit me was only a few months ago and I hit him back. He got piss-drunk angry like. He wasn't drunk though, it's a metaphor. It was pretty much a brawl really. I feel sorry about it because I "won" and it was really unnecessary. Still find flecks of his blood in my room here and there. I don't regret what happened in that fight since in my opinion he deserved it, he continually insulted me while I was trying to go to bed, screamed those insults "in my face" and then struck me when I had told him repeatedly to back off and let me sleep.
He is an emotional rollercoaster really, he's far worse than I am. Honestly.
Uhm, I think I'm done. I need to go to sleep soon too.
Kcalehc
2008-11-19, 09:14 AM
I'm 29 now. During my formative years, teenager times and before college I generally hated my parents - till I moved out of home and became essentially a free agent. I was beaten when I was bad, occasionally, breated, shouted at, told continuously I could do better and at the time it was hell.
But now I look back, it was good for me, it built my character and helped me achieve. You may not like what your parents do, but (mostly) they have your interests at heart; not just your immediate happiness, but your long term well being too.
I stopped blaming my parents for who I am quite a few years back; I came to the realisation that I can think for myself, and decide to make my own way. Unfortunately my wife is not of the same mind, and still (at 29) blames her parents for how she is; but we're working on that together.
hawkboy772042
2008-11-19, 08:15 PM
Bleh, my dad decided to kick me out of the house in response to me confronting him about some relatively minor issues that were pissing me off. Mainly him moving around my stuff without my permission and interrupting me while I was on the phone.
Biggest "issue" was him opening a letter from my aunt with a check containing my inheritance from my dead grandmother. Not only did he open the envelope, but he had the audacity to text message me the amount that was on the check. When I asked him about it, he gave me a bunch of B.S. reasons for why he felt justified in opening it which had nothing to do with his lack of respect for my privacy. Upon being told that his reasons were invalid, he started to use cheap ad hominems and insults against me. He seemed to get angrier when I kept sticking to the subject he decided to kick me out since he couldn't win the argument.
Only conclusion I can make from this is that he's nothing more than a bully and a sore loser. Please bear in mind that I've graduated college recently (so I've been an adult for awhile) and wouldn't have wanted to live with him had it not been for this economy...
Llorf
2008-11-19, 08:27 PM
I'm not going to list what I do for a living, but I deal with a lot of very unpleasant people.
About 5 months ago I had the unpleasant experience of dealing with a fellow who had been butting out his cigarettes on the face of his 5 year old daughter...because he got tired of putting them out on her chest and back.
And you think you have it rough. Grow up.
hawkboy772042
2008-11-19, 08:43 PM
I'm not going to list what I do for a living, but I deal with a lot of very unpleasant people.
About 5 months ago I had the unpleasant experience of dealing with a fellow who had been butting out his cigarettes on the face of his 5 year old daughter...because he got tired of putting them out on her chest and back.
And you think you have it rough. Grow up.
Roughness is all relative. Putting things into perspective doesn't always solve the problem if not belittle and/or insult the person since problems still need to be solved whether big or small.
BTW, I'm guessing that you're a social worker.
Llorf
2008-11-19, 08:49 PM
BTW, I'm guessing that you're a social worker.
Haha, very astute, but no, I'm not even close to being a social worker, nor do I have very much faith in them :)
No, you're right though, putting things in relative terms usually never assists anyone, most often because people don't want to look at their own problems as something trifling.
At the same time though, I am a staunch believer in really looking at how bad things are - the things that hurt us and make us upset are usually nothing so much as mere trifles. There's a hell of a lot of pain and suffering out there, why try to borrow some over something as insignificant as not being permitted to use the computer? Moving on and getting over it, trying to see it from the other party's point of view saves a lot of head and heartache and allows one to instead fixate on what to do or enjoy instead.
averagejoe
2008-11-19, 08:54 PM
I have never doubted my father's love for me, nor have I ever doubted that his heart was in the right place. I know that he was always trying his best, and always had my and my sisters' best interests at heart. Even so, he's screwed up badly in the past, and done things I'm still not entirely sure I can forgive. This is one of the saddest things I can think of.
Helanna
2008-11-19, 08:58 PM
Um . . . wow . . . lots of parent issues here, I guess. I just came to complain about a minor matter - my mom found an old story of mine and thought it was a suicide note, and now she won't believe it's just a story. :smallmad: I'd be angrier, I guess, but my sister really was writing suicide notes as well as cutting herself, so I can see why she'd be concerned. Still, now she is going to be watching me so closely, and she just won't LISTEN to me. Why is she reading my stuff anyway?! *Sigh* Because of my sister, I know . . .
But other than tending to read my emails and texts and writing, I have a great relationship with her. My father on the other hand
My parents broke up when I was about 2, and as far as I can remember, I never saw him very much. Backstory ahead!
He kept promising to see us more, to set up a regular schedule, etc, etc, but of course it never happened. I used to get really upset when he didn't show up. I was absolutely crushed.
But being over at his house really sucked. He and his girlfriend fought a lot and I slowly started making excuses not to go. But for the last three or four years, I haven't seen him at all, and I was pretty happy.
But then - surprise! A month or so ago I found out that he's engaged to be married (please note my parents aren't actually DIVORCED) AND he has a one-year-old daughter. Way to tell us about our half-sister, dad. :smallfurious:
So now I have to see him occasionally when we visit our half-sister (who's really cute actually:smallbiggrin:) But the worst part is, we only just started seeing my grandparents on his side, because he told them that my mom wasn't letting him see us, so he couldn't bring us over. Which is about as far from the truth as it is possible to get. :smallfurious::smallfurious::smallfurious: So we haven't seen our grandparents in 5-6 years because he was lying to them. :smallfurious::smallfurious::smallfurious:
hawkboy772042
2008-11-19, 10:03 PM
Haha, very astute, but no, I'm not even close to being a social worker, nor do I have very much faith in them :)
My only other guess is something in the medical industry like Nurse or EMT. Maybe I'll start up a thread called "Guess Llorf's profession" if I'm wrong.
No, you're right though, putting things in relative terms usually never assists anyone, most often because people don't want to look at their own problems as something trifling.
At the same time though, I am a staunch believer in really looking at how bad things are - the things that hurt us and make us upset are usually nothing so much as mere trifles. There's a hell of a lot of pain and suffering out there, why try to borrow some over something as insignificant as not being permitted to use the computer? Moving on and getting over it, trying to see it from the other party's point of view saves a lot of head and heartache and allows one to instead fixate on what to do or enjoy instead.
You are definitely right about people being selfish and unable to look at that big picture. Unfortunately, parents are at fault too for getting angry at their children for such pettiness and thus teaching their children to get angry over petty matters.
Raz_Fox
2008-11-21, 08:51 AM
To answer the OP: No. No I don't.
I'm guessing I'm around the same age as you, and I must admit there have been times where I've been annoyed at them, infuriated at them, upset because of their actions. But hatred?? I feel annoyed, infuriated and upset at other people a lot of the time, and because one is with parents more during the teenage years it's understandable that these emotions will spark out more often. More time together = more chance of an arguement.
I understand - usually after all is forgiven and everything's back to normal - that they only want the best for their children, and if that means hammering out the metal on the forge, then they'll hammer away, because that's the only way that the metal will be shaped the right way. Don't look at what your dad's doing as punishment - he's doing his best to make you into a responsible young man.
Parents are ultimately only human, and I have been very, very blessed to have the parents I do. Unhappiness and anger will pass, but only if you are willing to make the first sacrifice and try apologizing for your behavior, explaining why you thought their actions were unfair without seeming whiny, and rebuilding the bonds of love that make up a family. Wouldn't you want them to do the same, if you were in their place?
My final thought: Try to see things from their perspective, and you need to continue building a loving relationship with them.
Dirk Kris
2008-11-21, 09:10 AM
Everyone who is, or ever has been, a teenager hates their parents - or has, at some point.
The end.
WalkingTarget
2008-11-21, 10:00 AM
Everyone who is, or ever has been, a teenager hates their parents - or has, at some point.
The end.
I never did. But I had the benefit of being a well-behaved middle child with not-so-well-behaved siblings and parents that were very careful about hypocrisy. If my older brother did action X and didn't get in trouble for it neither did I (nor could I get in trouble for infractions that weren't as bad as X). There was no nagging about chores, but being on a farm chores just got done because that's the way things were. I just don't think my parents ever gave me a reason to make me mad at them. I recognize that I'm probably a very atypical case, though.
I also never hate my parents. Kinda strange, but my family was overall a perfect family. It even kinda... staggers me at some times, how lucky I was to be born in such a family. We're not rich, nor poor, my parents never forced me to do anything nor set me with too much freedom, and so on.
Of course, I can't know how my other family members think about our family. Maybe it's just my point of view or something.
Earendill
2008-11-21, 10:25 AM
I have yet to met an adult (or human being for the matter) that has absolutely nothing to blame on their parents.
Being a parent myself, I'm perfectly aware that my kids (top one is 6 right now) will find stuff to blame me for. Heh I even amuse myself trying to guess what will it be.
Three pieces of advice.
1. Parents are human beings like everyone and they have good and bad sides. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. Unfortunately when we are kids we tend and want to see our parents as perfect which makes for tons of dissapointments later on.
2. There are several things that parents are supposed to offer to their kids (in this order):
- physical security: a roof, food, clothes, the certainty that they wont get beaten or injured.
- emotional security and affection: the certainty that there is at least one person that cares for you no matter what you do and that will be there for you to listen ans support when you scre... up stuff.
- a framework of rules and values to guide your actions - essential for a good devellopment.
Some parents fail at some levels .... maybe it's reason to hate them, maybe not.
3. If you feel angry towards your parents to the point where this lasts for days and it troubles you and stops you from living your life, you should look for professional help - there are so many options and they can really help.
Neko Toast
2008-11-21, 10:40 AM
I don't really have issues with my mom. If I do, it's usually something minor.
My dad, on the other hand... I can't visit home without getting the "get a job" and "go to church" lectures.
I've already explained to him that by now, it would be stupid to find a job, with only one month left of the semester, and if I somehow did find a job, I would have to quit, and I doubt that they would hire me back after I worked for a month and left for a month. Apparently, common sense is foreign to him.
And the church lectures... he refuses to accept the fact that I'm Atheist. I never in any way forced him to be Atheist, I merely stated that I was. But he won't take that seriously. Every time I go home, I have to go to church, no questions asked. I know that it shouldn't be a big deal; It's only an hour long. That's not the issue, however. The fact that I'm being forced into a religion when this country states in its Constitution that there is a freedom of religion, and the fact that, once you are 'confirmed' by the church, you get to choose your own faith, shows that my dad is being highly unreasonable. And yet, here I am, submitting to my father's will. :smallsigh:
I'm sure if I tried to argue this with him reasonably, he'd pull out some bull**** like "I'll stop helping you pay for college", thus forcing me to submit. =_=;
Funny, how after you're legally an adult, parents think they can still control you.
Rebonack
2008-11-21, 10:48 AM
Hoo, it's like walking into a wall of teen angst in here.
Me? No hating on my part. I really wasn't ever the sort of kid to go out of my way to get into trouble. Sure they frustrated me now and again, but hate?
Pah. Not even close.
Some of the real parents have weighed in and I just work with kids, but I can agree with their sentiment. It isn't an easy job being a parent. You don't get paid for it. And you spend much of your time wondering if you're doing it right. Having one's children express their hatred for them over relatively petty things certainly doesn't help.
So have some compassion. It goes a long way. Maybe tell them that you really appreciate X thing they've done for you. Believe me, it will mean worlds to them.
Kcalehc
2008-11-21, 03:26 PM
I have yet to met an adult (or human being for the matter) that has absolutely nothing to blame on their parents.
/raises hand.
I don't blame them anymore. Everything I do now is my choice, not theirs, my emotions and actions are not controlled by the prior actions of my parents. Anything they taught me that I still continue to adhere to is because I choose to.
I'm generally a good person, but not because of how I was raised, but because I choose to be so. Sometimes I choose not to be so, and thats my own fault.
Saying that "I'm an angry person 'cos my parents were mean to me" or whatever, is just a convenient excuse to not take responsibility for ones own actions.
Raging Gene Ray
2008-11-21, 04:40 PM
Saying that "I'm an angry person 'cos my parents were mean to me" or whatever, is just a convenient excuse to not take responsibility for ones own actions.
That depends on the person saying it. It could be true and they are just now taking responsibility for changing themselves, now that they have pulled a successful self-analysis. It's impossible to say that your personality is not influenced by your parents...or many other people in your life.
xPANCAKEx
2008-11-21, 05:04 PM
Saying that "I'm an angry person 'cos my parents were mean to me" or whatever, is just a convenient excuse to not take responsibility for ones own actions.
usually, yes
fixed that for you
AslanCross
2008-11-21, 05:09 PM
I think my parents are awesome. My mom sometimes gets on my nerves, and I'm not that close with my dad, but I never went through a phase where I hated either of them, even when my parents split and my dad remarried. I live with my mom and get in touch with my dad often. Heck, my dad pays for my cellphone bill just so that I can contact him (he's in another country).
Moff Chumley
2008-11-21, 07:09 PM
Well, the only accusation that I want to level is that my father has bad, bad communication skills. >.<
thubby
2008-11-21, 07:42 PM
Funny, how after you're legally an adult, parents think they can still control you.
because they can? :smallconfused:
at least, as long as you let them.
xPANCAKEx
2008-11-21, 11:45 PM
Well, the only accusation that I want to level is that my father has bad, bad communication skills. >.<
take into account the nature of most adult males and you'll soon find that to be within the perameters of what is consider 'the norm' ;)
because they can? :smallconfused:
at least, as long as you let them.
Depends if you're still taking money from them, I'd say.
If parents are giving full monetary support to an adult child, for example, during graduate studies or a period of unemployment, then those parents are allowed a reasonably high degree of control over the child's life. However, if the adult child is financially independent, but possibly accepts occasional monetary gifts from the parents (for example, to mark a wedding or the birth of a grandchild) then the parents have no control over the child's life.
eyeofsaulot
2008-11-22, 12:21 AM
Wow, there's a lot of paternally-directed hate going on in this forum.
Sooo... who else is looking forward to going back home and spending Thanksgiving with their families? :smallsmile:
averagejoe
2008-11-22, 12:28 AM
Wow, there's a lot of paternally-directed hate going on in this forum.
Sooo... who else is looking forward to going back home and spending Thanksgiving with their families? :smallsmile:
I am, actually. My extended family is coming to visit, and I enjoy seeing them. I don't really get homesick, but I was reading The Dreamland Chronicles (http://www.thedreamlandchronicles.com/) a few months ago, and at the bit where they went home for Thanksgiving I was like, "Awwww, I want to see my aunts, uncles and cousins," which was like homesickness I guess. So, yeah, looking forward to it.
charl
2008-11-22, 12:31 AM
I don't have anything against my family, and they don't control me. How could they? Knowledge about my life is given on a need-to-know basis to my parents. It's best that way. I don't have to hear them complain all the time and they don't have to feel disappointed and disgusted about their son.
It's a win-win situation.
Pandaren
2008-11-22, 12:56 PM
I read just the first five posts and I already know what to say to anybody else who says they hate their parents.
You Don't
It's that simple.
No matter how mad, there is almost nothing they can do to make you hate them, unless they raised you horribly enough to hate them for a minor thing.
I like how most of the people here can understand that.
thubby
2008-11-22, 06:07 PM
I read just the first five posts and I already know what to say to anybody else who says they hate their parents.
You Don't
It's that simple.
No matter how mad, there is almost nothing they can do to make you hate them, unless they raised you horribly enough to hate them for a minor thing.
I like how most of the people here can understand that.
yes, lets just trivialize the emotions of anyone who was ever abused. :smallannoyed:
Pandaren
2008-11-22, 06:16 PM
yes, lets just trivialize the emotions of anyone who was ever abused. :smallannoyed:
I don't see people who were abused putting up threads that they hate their parents because they wouldn't let them use the computer. And thats exactly what I was trying to do, because I'm that much of an a**.
My father died when I was at a young age so my mother has taken care of me by herself (not counting my aunts, grandparents, friends, etc. who have had an impact on my life in some way or another) fore more than enough to say all ALL of my life.
While we do have disagreements, never have me and her come down to words which resulted in one of us actually hating the other ever. She was kinda like the cool parent in the '90s that would come to the field after a little league game and say 'LETS ALL GO GET PIZZA!' (terrible comparison, I know.)
I don't know why I felt the need to post in the thread :smalltongue:, I guess its just me affirming my love for my mother after reading some of these stories.
KingGolem
2008-11-24, 10:23 PM
My mother can be...difficult to live with, to say the least. The ensuing rant about why that is so is spoilered, since it's very long.
For some reason she can never bring herself to lie or break a promise, so for as long as I have known her she never would make a promise. Apparently thats if she "just doesn't feel like" doing something, which is very often, I might add. If I ask her to do something for me, no matter how mundane, she will never promise, so she can not do it later. This includes disciplining my younger brother. I turned out very well, myself, being a straight-A student all throughout high school, but my younger brother is your steroetypical teenage brat, for several reasons. When my brother does something wrong, my mother will just lecture him, which is completely ineffective if not reinforced with actual punishment. Sometimes she would try to punish him, but she would skimp out on that too. If she were to take away my brother's privalages for a week, two days later she would have gotten tired of not enforcing it and given them back.
Another aspect of her behavior that also irritates me is her obession with cleaning. She's divorced, so she has to work and then she spends her weekends cleaning the house. That would be just fine if she wouldn't whine about it so much. She always talks about how she works all day and then has to spend her weekends cleaning, and I both think to myself and tell her sometimes that if she hates it so much, why not just cut back on it? She acts like if she doesn't clean the house, she's a bad person or something, but she is actually the only person anywhere who really cares. This can get even more rediculous sometimes, when she doesn't prioritize. For example, just last week I had been preparing for a D&D session and the night before I had forgotten to get snacks, so I asked her if we could go tomorrow morning. "Maybe," was her answer, of course. The next morning (about 11 o'clock, rather, I sleep in on weekends) I get ready to go to the store, and she says she won't take me until I clean my room. Since my players weren't even going to go in there, that struck me as odd, so I protested. She said that if I didn't, I could just call my friends and tell them to stay home. She would have me cancel over an insignificant detail like that? Why the nerve of that woman! I let her know, in great detail, what I thought of that, and then I went to my room and she went to hers. Eventually, I heard her come out of her room and she went to the car. I caught her before she left; she had intended to leave without me, but I stopped that! We went to the store and bought snacks as necessary, although she was very immature about it, like walking fast and pretending she wasn't with me, not speaking to me, I even got a cart from the parking lot and she ignores me and gets another one inside. And after all that, only 3 players show up. :smallannoyed:
One last thing, before I wrap it up, I greatly respect my father. He's educated, disciplined, and most important of all, he has a need to make sense in his decisions. Apparently, he hated living with my mother too, as he was the one who filed for divorce first. Now my mother keeps saying that my dad is an alcoholic, white trash, a child abuser, and an adulterer. Not only are those total crap, you might think that she would know what an alcoholic is, since her own father was one. :smallsigh:
In short, no, I don't hate her (I blame that entirely on a biological adaptation which keeps me from doing so), I just hate living with her. Like I said, she can be difficult.
Mando Knight
2008-11-24, 11:42 PM
I read just the first five posts and I already know what to say to anybody else who says they hate their parents.
You Don't
It's that simple.
No matter how mad, there is almost nothing they can do to make you hate them, unless they raised you horribly enough to hate them for a minor thing.
I like how most of the people here can understand that.
The OP was somewhat petty, but afterward, the discussion led to people who actually have a reason, such as abuse, favoritism, etc. I feel sorry for these people... I have no idea what they're going through, except from what they tell us. My own parents aren't ideal, but they are generally fair, honorable, just, and loving. I don't know how it feels to have parents who aren't, and I can't fathom how I could live with such people... I hear about messed up families, but I don't understand how people could be so callous and disrespectful of their families. I guess I'm just lucky to have been born in the family I'm in...
turkishproverb
2008-11-25, 12:31 AM
Wow, there's a lot of paternally-directed hate going on in this forum.
Sooo... who else is looking forward to going back home and spending Thanksgiving with their families? :smallsmile:
Me. Of course, my parents aren't going to be there...
Quinsar
2008-11-25, 09:34 AM
My parents abused me. Hit me, ht me enough that I have scars, and some mental disorders.
Do I hate them?
No, not really....
I have no respect for either of them.
I can barely look at them and see that they're actual human beings.
But I don't hate them. I don.t I never imagine I could.
They're my parents, they raised me, no matter how messed up they were.
It's mainly that I was their investment, in their minds, they saw me as a way to make money, set me up for sucess, make me go to the best school, voice coaches, and make me learn how to play almost any instrument.
When I wasn't up to they're expectations, or tried to quit, I'd get beat.
My parents hate me and they let me know it.
But, I'm moved out now, so it doesn't really matter...
Solaris
2008-11-25, 10:57 AM
Who else hates their parents? Just about everyone, at some point or another. All I can say is it gets better, eventually.
You'll find you like them a lot more when you move out, yes. Parents are a lot easier to get along with when you don't live with them. There's always an exception or two, but in most cases the teenager feels frustrated living in his parents' house. It's a natural part of growing up. If you didn't start feeling uncomfortable there, you'd likely never really want to leave their house.
Hey, kiddo, don't worry about it. One thing you gotta pick up is that other people, in the big scheme of things, don't matter. In the dark of night, you're the only one who has to answer to your conscience about what you have done and what you left undone. If you did your best, then you did your best. If you didn't, then that's on you.
Your father's just trying to push you so hard, I imagine, because he thinks you really can do better. My father did the same thing with my little brother when it came to schoolwork, and my brother hated my father back in school. A coupla years later, they get along just fine.
And for the guys who responded with "Oh, that's not bad at all, I was abused as a child" - dude, come on. I'm not trying to demean being abused in any way, shape, or form, but that looked an awful lot like trying to grab attention. I know you were just telling the OP that he shouldn't sweat the small stuff, and he shouldn't, but still.
Jophes
2008-11-25, 12:11 PM
I think everyone "hates" their parents at least once in their lives (usually in adolescence) but eventually you realize that most of the time they're just doing it for your own good. Sure, there are parents who are truly horrible and don't deserve children BUT a majority are just trying to do their best for their children.
Moff Chumley
2008-11-25, 07:41 PM
take into account the nature of most adult males and you'll soon find that to be within the perameters of what is consider 'the norm' ;)
To quote Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes): "I think we'd know normal if we saw it."
Pyrian
2008-11-25, 08:49 PM
I think everyone "hates" their parents at least once in their lives (usually in adolescence) but eventually you realize that most of the time they're just doing it for your own good.Heh, I was always much more sympathetic to my parents pissing me off for their own selfish reasons than to them pissing me off "for my own good". :smalltongue:
Pandaren
2008-11-28, 08:03 PM
The OP was somewhat petty, but afterward, the discussion led to people who actually have a reason, such as abuse, favoritism, etc. I feel sorry for these people... I have no idea what they're going through, except from what they tell us. My own parents aren't ideal, but they are generally fair, honorable, just, and loving. I don't know how it feels to have parents who aren't, and I can't fathom how I could live with such people... I hear about messed up families, but I don't understand how people could be so callous and disrespectful of their families. I guess I'm just lucky to have been born in the family I'm in...
I just went with the assumption that people would realize that I do mean there are exceptions, but for the most part, people "hate" their parents for the most irrational reasons.
KilltheToy
2008-11-28, 08:35 PM
I don't really hate my parents, though I do have a slight dislike against my dad. But I think that's because when he gets/got angry it would tend to result in yelling and things being thrown across the room (though he's gotten better about the throwing.) That, and he was the one who dealed out discipline.
I've also got a really long fuse, so it's really hard to get me angry in the first place. The only proven method so far has been to shoot me repededly with airsoft guns :smallamused:.
Jalor
2008-11-28, 08:41 PM
My mother can be...difficult to live with, to say the least. The ensuing rant about why that is so is spoilered, since it's very long.
For some reason she can never bring herself to lie or break a promise, so for as long as I have known her she never would make a promise. Apparently thats if she "just doesn't feel like" doing something, which is very often, I might add. If I ask her to do something for me, no matter how mundane, she will never promise, so she can not do it later. This includes disciplining my younger brother. I turned out very well, myself, being a straight-A student all throughout high school, but my younger brother is your steroetypical teenage brat, for several reasons. When my brother does something wrong, my mother will just lecture him, which is completely ineffective if not reinforced with actual punishment. Sometimes she would try to punish him, but she would skimp out on that too. If she were to take away my brother's privalages for a week, two days later she would have gotten tired of not enforcing it and given them back.
Another aspect of her behavior that also irritates me is her obession with cleaning. She's divorced, so she has to work and then she spends her weekends cleaning the house. That would be just fine if she wouldn't whine about it so much. She always talks about how she works all day and then has to spend her weekends cleaning, and I both think to myself and tell her sometimes that if she hates it so much, why not just cut back on it? She acts like if she doesn't clean the house, she's a bad person or something, but she is actually the only person anywhere who really cares. This can get even more rediculous sometimes, when she doesn't prioritize. For example, just last week I had been preparing for a D&D session and the night before I had forgotten to get snacks, so I asked her if we could go tomorrow morning. "Maybe," was her answer, of course. The next morning (about 11 o'clock, rather, I sleep in on weekends) I get ready to go to the store, and she says she won't take me until I clean my room. Since my players weren't even going to go in there, that struck me as odd, so I protested. She said that if I didn't, I could just call my friends and tell them to stay home. She would have me cancel over an insignificant detail like that? Why the nerve of that woman! I let her know, in great detail, what I thought of that, and then I went to my room and she went to hers. Eventually, I heard her come out of her room and she went to the car. I caught her before she left; she had intended to leave without me, but I stopped that! We went to the store and bought snacks as necessary, although she was very immature about it, like walking fast and pretending she wasn't with me, not speaking to me, I even got a cart from the parking lot and she ignores me and gets another one inside. And after all that, only 3 players show up. :smallannoyed:
One last thing, before I wrap it up, I greatly respect my father. He's educated, disciplined, and most important of all, he has a need to make sense in his decisions. Apparently, he hated living with my mother too, as he was the one who filed for divorce first. Now my mother keeps saying that my dad is an alcoholic, white trash, a child abuser, and an adulterer. Not only are those total crap, you might think that she would know what an alcoholic is, since her own father was one. :smallsigh:
In short, no, I don't hate her (I blame that entirely on a biological adaptation which keeps me from doing so), I just hate living with her. Like I said, she can be difficult.
Are... are you the other half of my spirit or something? You just described my mother.
Krytha
2008-11-28, 10:51 PM
I think my mom is amazing. She works from early in the morning until late at night, picks us up from extracurricular activities, comes home, cooks, cleans, does various other things - and is just a force of stability in the house. My dad was almost never around, so her doing things all by herself was just that much more impressive. I suppose she is the definition of the super-mom.
Kjata
2008-11-30, 02:08 AM
Are... are you the other half of my spirit or something? You just described my mother.
I think its just a typical way for a mom to be, because thats how mine is too...
Klose_the_Sith
2008-12-01, 08:30 PM
I'm pretty pissed off at my Mum right now.
Every week, I get 10, my sister 50!
If I do work around the house I get 10, my sister gets ANOTHER 50!
&*$^*(&#^$(*&$)!!!!!!!
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