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View Full Version : If the DM was as paranoid as the batman...



Belial_the_Leveler
2008-11-14, 10:21 PM
...he would have protection from evil or silence on any gateable creature so they either can't hear the commands or ignore ongoing control
...he would have protection from evil on any dominatable creature
...he would have all credible threats be incorporeal undead swarms
...he would have all creatures expend their per day wish/gate SLAs as soon as they rested so they'd never be forced to grant them to others
...he would have all dragons take awaken spell resistance several times
...he would have a contingency on all high-hd creatures with the trigger "if I was ever Called" with the linked effect being "dismissal"
...he would give all his creatures loot they can use with emphasis on saving throw items and rings of evasion
...he would give all serious opponents a way to deflect ranged touch attacks
...he would give any serious threats either trap the soul or a githyaki sword to deal with astral travelers


please expand the list

Yukitsu
2008-11-14, 10:29 PM
...The party would be irrelevant, as all other evil threats have already been accounted for, and if the party goes after the NPC, you'd have already lost.

RTGoodman
2008-11-14, 10:33 PM
-The DM bans ALL non-Core material. And Adepts, Barbarian, Bard, Cleric, Druid, Expert, Fighter, Monk, Paladin, Ranger, Rogue, Sorcerer, and Warrior, Wizard classes. And Commoners are nerfed (who says they should get proficiency with one simple weapon?). No monstrous PCs either. And half-orcs and half-elves only.

Signmaker
2008-11-14, 10:35 PM
-The DM bans ALL non-Core material. And Adepts, Barbarian, Bard, Cleric, Druid, Expert, Fighter, Monk, Paladin, Ranger, Rogue, Sorcerer, and Warrior, Wizard classes. And Commoners are nerfed (who says they should get proficiency with one simple weapon?). No monstrous PCs either. And half-orcs and half-elves only.

One can still attempt X-TREME diplomacy with those handicaps.

FoE
2008-11-14, 10:41 PM
-The DM bans ALL non-Core material. And Adepts, Barbarian, Bard, Cleric, Druid, Expert, Fighter, Monk, Paladin, Ranger, Rogue, Sorcerer, and Warrior, Wizard classes. And Commoners are nerfed (who says they should get proficiency with one simple weapon?). No monstrous PCs either. And half-orcs and half-elves only.

FOX ONLY! NO ITEMS! 3 STOCK! FINAL DESTINATION!

Lemur
2008-11-14, 10:50 PM
...then the players would respond by becoming the Joker. Say hello to an entire party of Chaotic Stupid.

Vinotaur
2008-11-14, 11:10 PM
FOX ONLY! NO ITEMS! 3 STOCK! FINAL DESTINATION!

4 STOCK! BATTLEFIELD!

Inhuman Bot
2008-11-14, 11:11 PM
...then the players would respond by becoming the Joker. Say hello to an entire party of Chaotic Stupid.

awesome.

thats the best response you can have.

Thane of Fife
2008-11-14, 11:22 PM
The DM bans ALL non-Core material. And Adepts, Barbarian, Bard, Cleric, Druid, Expert, Fighter, Monk, Paladin, Ranger, Rogue, Sorcerer, and Warrior, Wizard classes. And Commoners are nerfed (who says they should get proficiency with one simple weapon?). No monstrous PCs either. And half-orcs and half-elves only.


Aristocrat party! Yeah! Greatswords for everybody!

monty
2008-11-14, 11:24 PM
...then the players would respond by becoming the Joker.

But monks are banned...

RTGoodman
2008-11-15, 12:45 AM
One can still attempt X-TREME diplomacy with those handicaps.


Aristocrat party! Yeah! Greatswords for everybody!

Dang it, look what you had to go and do! Aristocrats are overpowered, and therefore right out! And we're using The Giant's Diplomacy fix! Also, Pazuzu doesn't exist, it's a low-magic world, and as you begin the game you find yourself in a room full of housecats, with shadowy darkness for concealment!

Anyone else wanna try something? :smallamused: :smallwink:



But monks are banned...

I don't know... maybe we can make a concession for them this time... :smallbiggrin:

valadil
2008-11-15, 01:42 AM
Seriously, if the GM was as paranoid as a batman wizard he'd be using Tucker's kobolds.

chiasaur11
2008-11-15, 01:44 AM
Seriously, if the GM was as paranoid as a batman wizard he'd be using Tucker's kobolds.

But they might turn on him!

Kobolds are way too overpowered to let anywhere near diplomatic players.

Bryn
2008-11-15, 06:56 AM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/fe/S1ModuleCover.jpg

Heliomance
2008-11-15, 07:03 AM
Thread over. You win.

newbDM
2008-11-15, 07:25 AM
Dang it, look what you had to go and do! Aristocrats are overpowered, and therefore right out! And we're using The Giant's Diplomacy fix! Also, Pazuzu doesn't exist, it's a low-magic world, and as you begin the game you find yourself in a room full of housecats, with shadowy darkness for concealment!

Anyone else wanna try something? :smallamused: :smallwink:


Damn.

But how would you all reward the PCs/players if they actually managed to survive that?

newbDM
2008-11-15, 07:27 AM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/fe/S1ModuleCover.jpg

I don't get it?


edit:
Oops, forgot to copy and paste it into the previous post as an edit. Sorry.

TengYt
2008-11-15, 07:28 AM
Damn.

But how would you all reward the PCs/players if they actually managed to survive that?

With poison gas :smallamused:

newbDM
2008-11-15, 07:29 AM
With poison gas :smallamused:

In-character, or out-of-character to hide your shame as a DM?

TengYt
2008-11-15, 07:36 AM
Why not both?:smallwink:

Eldariel
2008-11-15, 08:04 AM
...D&D would be like Call of Cthulhu.

RPGuru1331
2008-11-15, 09:52 AM
There wouldn't be a game. If yo'ure opposing the batman wizard he would kill you all at level 1, and if you were on his side he'd fix all the problems immediately.


I don't get it?
Every session would be as hellish as the Tomb of Horrors.

newbDM
2008-11-15, 10:02 AM
Every session would be as hellish as the Tomb of Horrors.

Well, I got that much. But what is it about the Tomb of Horrors that won him the thread so quickly?

I have heard it mentioned here-and-there, but don't know what it really is/means.

Kris Strife
2008-11-15, 10:06 AM
Tomb of horrors is a premade dungeon with 58745 traps, most of which are instantly lethal and give no saving throw.

newbDM
2008-11-15, 10:08 AM
Tomb of horrors is a premade dungeon with 58745 traps, most of which are instantly lethal and give no saving throw.

58745?!

Please tell me you are exaggerating. Just a wee bit.

Flickerdart
2008-11-15, 10:09 AM
Dang it, look what you had to go and do! Aristocrats are overpowered, and therefore right out! And we're using The Giant's Diplomacy fix! Also, Pazuzu doesn't exist, it's a low-magic world, and as you begin the game you find yourself in a room full of housecats, with shadowy darkness for concealment!

Anyone else wanna try something? :smallamused: :smallwink:

Are they Tucker's Housecats?

Sstoopidtallkid
2008-11-15, 10:12 AM
58745?!

Please tell me you are exaggerating. Just a wee bit.He's not. For example:There are 3 entrances. 2 of them are lethal instantly, the other leads to the Tomb.Edit:My DM may run it today. If it's really humorous, I'll post the story to the board.

newbDM
2008-11-15, 10:12 AM
Are they Tucker's Housecats?

This gets me thinking. For a very long time now I have wanted to run an entire encounter with PCs facing housecats. The look on a player's face when his beloved PC falls at the hands of a little kitty must me unique.

I have done it with goats once. One PC came back as a Lupin...

newbDM
2008-11-15, 10:17 AM
He's not. For example:There are 3 entrances. 2 of them are lethal instantly, the other leads to the Tomb.Edit:My DM may run it today. If it's really humorous, I'll post the story to the board.

But come on. In the 10s of ks?

I will admit, Gygax (may he rest in peace!) was a genius, but how can you even fit that many traps in a single module? It would need to be as thick as that 3rd party "Biggest adventure every!" book, which is as big as an encyclopedia, costs $100, and takes two years to complete. And for only $1?

Plus, who would have counted each and every one?

Sstoopidtallkid
2008-11-15, 10:30 AM
This gets me thinking. For a very long time now I have wanted to run an entire encounter with PCs facing housecats. The look on a player's face when his beloved PC falls at the hands of a little kitty must me unique.

I have done it with goats once. One PC came back as a Lupin...Perfectly doable, and easy to slaughter them with. CR 10 Rogue Housecat.
Size/Type: Tiny Animal
Hit Dice: 10d6+20(55)
Initiative: +9
Speed: 30 ft
Armor Class: 14 (+2 size, +5 Dex), touch 19, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/-3
Attack: Claw +14 melee (1d2-2)
Full Attack: 2 claws +14 melee (1d2-4) and bite +12 melee (1d3-2)
Space/Reach: 2½ ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: —
Special Qualities: Low-light vision, scent, Evasion, Improved Uncanny Dodge,
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +12, Will +5
Abilities: Str 6, Dex 20, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 4
Skills: Balance +13, Climb +9, Hide +30*, Jump +13, Move Silently +22, Tumble 18, Listen 15
Feats: Combat Expertise, Improved Initiative, Weapon Finesse, Underfoot Combat, Confound the Bigfolk, Craven

Gets SA of 5d6+10, can enter an opponents square without provoking AoOs making them flatfooted, can make the opponent the target of attacks, and generally will ruin your player's self-respect.

newbDM
2008-11-15, 10:36 AM
Perfectly doable, and easy to slaughter them with. CR 10 Rogue Housecat.
Size/Type: Tiny Animal
Hit Dice: 10d6+20(55)
Initiative: +9
Speed: 30 ft
Armor Class: 14 (+2 size, +5 Dex), touch 19, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/-3
Attack: Claw +14 melee (1d2-2)
Full Attack: 2 claws +14 melee (1d2-4) and bite +12 melee (1d3-2)
Space/Reach: 2½ ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: —
Special Qualities: Low-light vision, scent, Evasion, Improved Uncanny Dodge,
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +12, Will +5
Abilities: Str 6, Dex 20, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 4
Skills: Balance +13, Climb +9, Hide +30*, Jump +13, Move Silently +22, Tumble 18, Listen 15
Feats: Combat Expertise, Improved Initiative, Weapon Finesse, Underfoot Combat, Confound the Bigfolk, Craven

Gets SA of 5d6+10, can enter an opponents square without provoking AoOs making them flatfooted, can make the opponent the target of attacks, and generally will ruin your player's self-respect.


Thank you for this.

However, forgive my newbness, but what do you mean by SA? (Just realized Sneak Attack. Got the dumbs this morning...)

And did you do this by simply adding HD/class levels?


edit:
And how do you explain/justify this monstrosity existing in-game?

hamishspence
2008-11-15, 10:39 AM
Awakened cat? weapon proficiencies would be harder to explain.

whether a Int 2 creature can have character levels in anything may be DM fiat, or for that matter, whether it can't.

Sstoopidtallkid
2008-11-15, 10:41 AM
Thank you for this.

However, forgive my newbness, but what do you mean by SA? (Just realized Sneak Attack. Got the dumbs this morning...)

And did you do this by simply adding HD/class levels?


edit:
And how do you explain/justify this monstrosity existing in-game?Rogue levels. As for explaining it, it's a cat. Who specializes in sneaking up on you and digging it's claws and teeth into your most vulnerable areas. So it's essentially a cat. :smallwink:

Bayar
2008-11-15, 10:41 AM
But come on. In the 10s of ks?

I will admit, Gygax (may he rest in peace!) was a genius, but how can you even fit that many traps in a single module? It would need to be as thick as that 3rd party "Biggest adventure every!" book, which is as big as an encyclopedia, costs $100, and takes two years to complete. And for only $1?

Plus, who would have counted each and every one?

Carefully.

No, really. There are some traps that send you to other traps that trigger other traps.

Kris Strife
2008-11-15, 10:47 AM
Carefully.

No, really. There are some traps that send you to other traps that trigger other traps.

I actually did make the numbers up... just pressed random numbers. Never actually gone through, but I've heard the stories. One had a suicide based TPK as soon as they realized what module they were in.

newbDM
2008-11-15, 10:48 AM
Awakened cat? weapon proficiencies would be harder to explain.

That was what I thought at first, but I am afraid of overusing that. There is currently an epic level awakened psion black cat in my personal setting, which along with one of my other favorite past characters is the one I usually use to (indirectly) hire/recruit/motivate/etc the PCs.


Then again, I have been thinking about introducing some family membes for him. Already have his catgirl daughter, and his almost equally powerful (yet yet comically insane) male sibling in the works, so I guess a rogue something could be nice as well. http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f173/celestialkin/04df4113.gif

Heliomance
2008-11-15, 11:40 AM
What you need is Snuggles the Doomkitty! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=5059397&postcount=55)

Jack_Simth
2008-11-15, 11:58 AM
58745?!

Please tell me you are exaggerating. Just a wee bit.

It's more like fifty or a hundred, yes. The 3.5 update is a bit more playable. And do note that the original, $1 version was for AD&D, which was sold around 20 years ago, give or take.

Edit: Do note that both versions require you have a pretty good idea of how the designer thinks, but the 3.5 version is more readily defeated because *most* of the traps are less "you die, no save" and more "take massive damage" ... and they're not discriminating traps, so if you've got the Elemental Summoning Reserve feat, you can find most of them before they find you... without rolling a die.

newbDM
2008-11-15, 01:24 PM
What you need is Snuggles the Doomkitty! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=5059397&postcount=55)

Oh Sardior, why?

And why do I like it so.....



It's more like fifty or a hundred, yes. The 3.5 update is a bit more playable. And do note that the original, $1 version was for AD&D, which was sold around 20 years ago, give or take.

Edit: Do note that both versions require you have a pretty good idea of how the designer thinks, but the 3.5 version is more readily defeated because *most* of the traps are less "you die, no save" and more "take massive damage" ... and they're not discriminating traps, so if you've got the Elemental Summoning Reserve feat, you can find most of them before they find you... without rolling a die.

But doesn't that defeat both the point and the fun?

Doomsy
2008-11-15, 03:27 PM
Thank you for this.

However, forgive my newbness, but what do you mean by SA? (Just realized Sneak Attack. Got the dumbs this morning...)

And did you do this by simply adding HD/class levels?


edit:
And how do you explain/justify this monstrosity existing in-game?

Simple. Very simple.

Never piss off the goddess of housecats. Ever.

hamishspence
2008-11-15, 03:31 PM
said goddess is also goddess of wild parties (sharess, who was formerly bast) What do you need to do to annoy her- be a killjoy puritan who bans all parties? In that case, nearly Everyone hates them, not just her.

chiasaur11
2008-11-15, 04:02 PM
said goddess is also goddess of wild parties (sharess, who was formerly bast) What do you need to do to annoy her- be a killjoy puritan who bans all parties? In that case, nearly Everyone hates them, not just her.

No. You just need to politely ask the partiers to turn it down, since you're trying to study.

hamishspence
2008-11-15, 04:06 PM
and, going by Origin of PCs, end up hanging from a flagpole by your underwear. Ouch.

as I said though- to irritate cleric and deity, ask to turn noise down. To really anger them, call backup to get party shut down.