Who Am I?

[Raiser Blade]

I'm the sarcastic narcissistic one in my group of friends. I know it's lame but it gets laughs and I like that. I used to think I was using this "outlook" on life to cover up my own insecurities and to keep people from seeing the real me. Sort of a false bravado. Now I realize that more and more I am becoming this person I was only pretending to be. I've buried my sensitive side so deep that I can't even find it.

Now i'm not one of those "nerd rage my life sucks someone call the waaaambulance" kind of kids. I am actually quite happy. I'm just becoming more and more of a cl******* and I don't think it's an act anymore.

I don't know who I am anymore. Not even sure if I care at this point. I'm just... confused.

[Copacetic]

Have a hug. Then go do something you have never done before. If you act the same, Surgery is the only option.

[SurlySeraph]

You are whatever you pretend to be. If you want to have a sensitive side, go pretend to have one.

[Jokerz]

I actually have the same problem. I'm usually the random, stream-of-consciousness guy in our group, put recently I decided to try the deadpan sarcastic thing on for a bit, but... I don't think that I can change back. I'm sorta stuck in the middle, too nice to actually be noticeably sarcastic, and not nice enough to act towards people the way I did...blah. Coincidentally, I cannot figure out what the word you're censoring is.

[Faceist]

Whoooo are you? (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=qm85rMYKSQQ)

I have to agree with SurlySeraph, and not only because that's an awesome name. If you spend too much time playing a role you can become subsumed in it, so if you want to change it's as easy as putting another mask over the one you're currently wearing. (That thought is as scary as it is comforting, by the way.)

[ghost_warlock]

Affirmations can be killer, yes.

The fact that you're aware of your problem and are posting about it here, though, tells me that you're not all gone yet.

The biggest roadblock you're going to face in making a change is that now you've set yourself up for this persona amongst your friends. More than likely, whenever you hang out with them you'll find yourself unconsciously slipping into the persona again - you've all become accustomed to certain social roles and any significant variance from this will make everyone feel 'weird;' there will be tremendous social/psychological pressure to maintain conformity to those roles.

Good luck, man.

[BizzaroStormy]

...Bacon Good!

[Helanna]

Coincidentally, I cannot figure out what the word you're censoring is.

Here you are! (http://xkcd.com/72/) (I do so love xkcd!)

EDIT: Oh, I should reply to this thread . . .

Sometimes I feel the same way. And it's true - if you put on another mask, you'll become that one, too. It is indeed very scary how easy it is to mold your own mind. You might have to consciously work at it, though. You say you do stuff that's "lame, but it gets laughs". So stop doing that! There are other ways to get laughs. Don't do things just to feel accepted.

Besides, we'll always accept you here. :smallwink:

[Mauve Shirt]

I have this problem a lot!
It really is true that you can change yourself by pretending. That's how I ended up being the person I was in high school, I got some kind of positive response and decided that I was that person.
I'm completely different now, hanging out with a new group of people, but I suppose I'm the same around high school friends. And I'm completely different again when I post here.

[skywalker]

I'm the sarcastic narcissistic one in my group of friends. I know it's lame but it gets laughs and I like that. I used to think I was using this "outlook" on life to cover up my own insecurities and to keep people from seeing the real me. Sort of a false bravado. Now I realize that more and more I am becoming this person I was only pretending to be. I've buried my sensitive side so deep that I can't even find it.

Now i'm not one of those "nerd rage my life sucks someone call the waaaambulance" kind of kids. I am actually quite happy. I'm just becoming more and more of a cl******* and I don't think it's an act anymore.

I don't know who I am anymore. Not even sure if I care at this point. I'm just... confused.

I am living proof you can forget all about it and never have to go back. I used to be quite the... one of those...

I promise you can stop.

Nice video, btw. It distracted me for a good 5 minutes.

[Raiser Blade]

The biggest roadblock you're going to face in making a change is that now you've set yourself up for this persona amongst your friends. More than likely, whenever you hang out with them you'll find yourself unconsciously slipping into the persona again - you've all become accustomed to certain social roles and any significant variance from this will make everyone feel 'weird;' there will be tremendous social/psychological pressure to maintain conformity to those roles.

Good luck, man.

Thanks, you pretty much hit the head with a nail. As stupid as it sounds i'm afraid to "change" because I don't know what my friends will think. I guess if I really hate the person i've become I will do it anyways. The thing is I don't totally hate the new me, I just was suprised to find the new me.

I will take your guy's advice. Maybe I can ease back into old me over time. Can't hurt to try.

[Dr. Bath]

You are Jackie Chan.

http://www.lovefilm.com/lovefilm/images/products/5/1895-large.jpg

>_>
<_<

But seriously, if you don't like something about yourself: change it. And if that version of you is thoroughly dislikable try again.

[FoE]

Who am I?

You sure you want to know?

The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody told you it was a happy tale, if somebody said I was just your average guy, not a care in the world ... somebody lied.

[Exeson]

As has already stated you are whoever you want to be. Don't feel like your feelings decide your actions, your actions define your feelings. Like normally I am the sarcastic one, like making crude and very unsubtle jokes and also just insulting everyone left and right, but the thing is people know that actually when I think it is necessary I am a very kind and caring person, who will walk through fire to save his friends' asses, literally.

It sounds cliched but really, you are defined by your actions, if you want to be caring, go out there and act like you care. soon enough you will find out that actually you do.

[Oregano]

I went the opposite way, I suffered Badass Decay. I used to be a sarcastic bastard, I really didn't care what people though either. Now I'm really nice...too nice.:smallsigh:

Sometimes I preferred being a bastard because since becoming a nice guy people try to walk all over me and sometimes they succeed.:smallmad:

[Drascin]

I went through that, myself. Due to a bit of a... family problem, shall we say, I had to detach myself from people for the most part, had to keep pretending to be a complete *******... and it ended up not being so much of a pretense. I still had a sensitive side, but I was afraid to show it because it would undermine the "independence" that being an uncaring jerk gave me. I will leave it to the reader to discover the fatal flaw in that reasoning that I myself noticed.

But you can come back from this, as I'm doing. You just need to change your mask, and go out of your way to go against the *******. As has been said, people are inherently malleable - and noone can mold you better than yourself. Force yourself to be nice, know that you are the one in control of your actions, and do what you feel you should do.

As an apart, I recommend telling all this to your closest firends, so that they know not to make it any harder on you with misplaced comments, and maybe even help you a bit while you adapt.

[Zencao]

I'm Jean Valjean!!!!

Um, so sorry, I couldn't resist :smallfrown:

[Copacetic]

I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!


Carry on.

[TRM]

I went the opposite way, I suffered Badass Decay. I used to be a sarcastic bastard, I really didn't care what people though either. Now I'm really nice...too nice.:smallsigh:

Sometimes I preferred being a bastard because since becoming a nice guy people try to walk all over me and sometimes they succeed.:smallmad:
I sometimes have to tell my friends this: You can't be too nice.

Niceness is good. Everyone likes nice people... because they're nice to be around.

If your problem is that other people are walking all over you, the correct solution is not to start being an uncaring bastard again, it's to be firm and self-assured; you can be nice and not a doormat.

Good luck. :smallcool:

[Oregano]

I like being Nice, it's just that sometimes people take advantage of it and when I was a bastard I wouldn't take that and I don't always now but sometimes I feel like an idiot for bending over backwards for people.

[Closet_Skeleton]

I know who I am, but who are all you zombies?

[T-O-E]

I'm sarcastic but I know that that's truly what I am. I drop the deadpan in serious situations or if I'm feeling a little childish.

[Mauve Shirt]

What worries me is, how do I "change back into the old me" when I don't know what the "old me" is? How much of any kind of personality change is from positive reenforcement of behaviors? What was I like originally, before I lost my personality to drugs?

[Moff Chumley]

I know who I am, but who are all you zombies?

Dammit Skeleton, I was trying to suppress those memories. :smallfurious:


I recommend that everyone here listen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bKCK0kGSoo) to this. It's almost creepy how well this piece fits the topic.

I am proud to say that I consciously direct any psychological change I embark on. :smallsmile:

[Player_Zero]

I'm Spartacus.

[ghost_warlock]

I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!

Oh...wait, no, that's someone else. :smallredface:

:elan: I'm useful!

Nope, someone else again... :smallsigh:

[FoE]

Who the hell do you think I am?

I'm the goddamn Batman.

[Dr. Bath]

I'm not dead yet!

[Allysian]

Your not alive yet either. Powwwwnedissed! Heheheh, that's on topic right?

[FoE]

I'm not dead yet!

Well, you will be soon. You're very ill. You'll be stone dead in a moment.

[Dr. Bath]

I don't want to go on the cart! I feel fine! I think I'll go for a walk.

[FoE]

You're not fooling anyone, you know. :smallannoyed:

[Spiryt]

Bloody peasants!

[FoE]

Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

[Mauve Shirt]

Here you go again, bringing class into it. :smalltongue:

[FoE]

Here you go again, bringing class into it. :smalltongue:

Well, you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

[Thanatos 51-50]

/me repeatedly and brutally stabs the folks quoting Monty Pyhton jokes, and directs them to read the following XKCD strip until they have been pruged:
Honour Monty Python (http://xkcd.com/16/)

Now that thats done:
I have written many, many, long-winded essays based on the question "Who am I?" and carefully deconstructed aspects of myself. I found it a calming mental excercise.
May I suggest you try it?

[FoE]

/me repeatedly and brutally stabs the folks quoting Monty Pyhton jokes

Tis but a scratch. :smalltongue:

[Morty]

Tis but a scratch. :smalltongue:

What you're gonna do, bleed on me?

[FoE]

Running away, eh? Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

((Sorry, Than, but it's not a gaming session until someone quotes Monty Python.))

[Evil DM Mark3]

I don't know who I am anymore. Not even sure if I care at this point. I'm just... confused.

You are the person behind the keyboard.

Who is not the right way to think about your identiy. What am I, Why am I, How am I, these are the questions you need to answer.

Why and How especially. What are you, how do you know that any why are you like that. From there you can move on to new and better tomorrows.

If you disslike anything in that, find out how it got there and then remove it.

[Yoritomo Himeko]

I'm the sarcastic narcissistic one in my group of friends. I know it's lame but it gets laughs and I like that. I used to think I was using this "outlook" on life to cover up my own insecurities and to keep people from seeing the real me. Sort of a false bravado. Now I realize that more and more I am becoming this person I was only pretending to be. I've buried my sensitive side so deep that I can't even find it.

Now i'm not one of those "nerd rage my life sucks someone call the waaaambulance" kind of kids. I am actually quite happy. I'm just becoming more and more of a cl******* and I don't think it's an act anymore.

I don't know who I am anymore. Not even sure if I care at this point. I'm just... confused.

Well, I guess you could always try by being a little more sensitive. Find the specific behavior that's causing the problem and adjust it. Make little changes over time.

I'm sure you're friends will like the "old you". After all, they became your friends when you were still that person.

Almost everyone goes through a phases like this at least one in their lives.

I hoped we helped a bit. :smallsmile:

[Solaris]

What worries me is, how do I "change back into the old me" when I don't know what the "old me" is? How much of any kind of personality change is from positive reenforcement of behaviors? What was I like originally, before I lost my personality to drugs?

Clinging to the past. Step on forward; looking back is a bad way to go.


/me repeatedly and brutally stabs the folks quoting Monty Pyhton jokes, and directs them to read the following XKCD strip until they have been pruged:
Honour Monty Python (http://xkcd.com/16/)

Now that thats done:
I have written many, many, long-winded essays based on the question "Who am I?" and carefully deconstructed aspects of myself. I found it a calming mental excercise.
May I suggest you try it?

I found it an exercise in futility. Either you believe the little lies you tell yourself, or you don't. I figured out there's a reason I tell myself the little lies. It's so I believe the big ones.
I guess there's something to be said about being completely honest with yourself, but honestly...

[Darius Midnite]

Amongst my friends, I always make sure to point out flaws and to question every hope and ambition they might have. But that is how I chose to be, and I can't see myself as another person. To be a cynic is my lot in life, and I love it. My point is; only if you're truly unhappy with who you are, should you change. But it can be hard sometimes...

[Doran_Liadon]

You are whoever you want to be.

[Pyrian]

You are whoever you want to be.I'm not! :smallwink:

[Player_Zero]

You are whoever you want to be.

I disagree with this statement.

Here is my counter example:

I want to be a superhero.

It's never going to happen no matter how much you want it to.

Incidentally, I'm not who I want to be.

[Doran_Liadon]

I mean if you really wanted to be you could come in contact with a radioactive or unstable isotope but that could cause death...

[Gray Jester]

I mean if you really wanted to be you could come in contact with a radioactive or unstable isotope but that could would cause death...

Fix'd. ;)

You are who you are. It's as simple and complex as that. You are who you are as defined by how you think and how you interact with others. If you want to change that, it as a simple and as hard as breaking your patterns of interaction.

Who you -really- are, on the other hand, is a different story. To get to that, you have to dig past layers of social conditioning, little fears, bad habits, etc. that have accrued. I still am not sure who I really am, underneath it all, but I think I'm getting closer.

[rubakhin]

I have this same problem. I don't really know who I am outside of "really messed up." I was sexually abused and raped and in the sex trade for pretty much my whole life, I don't really know how to see myself outside of as a sexual object to be used. I think it's just because I have no life. In between tricks I either sleep (usually for about twelve to fourteen hours) or I'm sitting here, killing time on the computer. I really don't have any idea who I am, or what my personality is like, or what I act like, but it's because I'm not really living or anything, I just sit here staring at the screen or lie in my bed, or someone else's bed. *muse* So, what I would suggest you do is just get out of the house as often as you can, find a whole range of activities and people, it'll be easier to figure out who you are, and for God's sake, quit pretending to be somebody else. It's not worth it, trust me. You don't want your whole being to become a lie. That will hurt much worse, undoing the damage of that, than whatever pain may come from letting people see your sensitivity.

[Recaiden]

Fix'd. ;)

You are who you are. It's as simple and complex as that. You are who you are as defined by how you think and how you interact with others. If you want to change that, it as a simple and as hard as breaking your patterns of interaction.

Who you -really- are, on the other hand, is a different story. To get to that, you have to dig past layers of social conditioning, little fears, bad habits, etc. that have accrued. I still am not sure who I really am, underneath it all, but I think I'm getting closer.

Exactly this. Act how you want to be, and, barring impossibilities like superpowers, that's who you'll become. If you;re too cynical, act nicer, if you're too nice, say no to people. It isn't who you really are, but at the same time, it is.

[Krytha]

I am stable and in control. Keep her steady - as she goes.

[Doran_Liadon]

Fix'd. ;)

Thank...you?:smallconfused:

[Faceist]

I am stable and in control. Keep her steady - as she goes.
Steady as she goes!
(steady as she goes)
Steady as she goes!
(steady as she goes)
Well here we go again, you've found yourself a friend
That knows you well
But no matter what you do, you'll always feel as though
You tripped and fell
So steady as she goes

(Sorry!)

[Flame of Anor]

/me repeatedly and brutally stabs the folks quoting Monty Pyhton jokes, and directs them to read the following XKCD strip until they have been pruged:
Honour Monty Python (http://xkcd.com/16/)


You may consider us "pruged."

[Raiser Blade]

Does anyone else remember the Iron Giant?

"You are who you choose to be."

"Superman"


Still brings a tear to my eye. :smalltongue:


Also@ Rubakhin

Yeah I see what you mean. The longer I let things slide the harder it will be to reverse things.

[Closet_Skeleton]

I'm Spartacus.

That game's no fun when the forum software doesn't support nested quotes.

[Kcalehc]

Who am I?

29 and still haven't figured it out yet. But I'll be sure to let you know when (if) I do.

[sktarq]

We have a phrase for this around here.

Fake it till you make it.

And so what if you carved out a niche for a you that you don't want to be anymore. Carve out a new one. It's going to be a slow process anyway so They'll adapt or you won't find them fun to be around just as much as they don't but you'll others who will. It is called growth and doesn't stop until you die or give up.
Try asking yourself-
What would a/an (person with trait you want to possess) person do in (made up senario)?
What would have a/an (person with trait you want to possess) done in the situation I faced earlier tonight differently that I did? (may be no difference)

This gives you time to think about how having that trait really effects your day to day behavior, thoughts, feelings. Then just remember what you came up with and apply it as situations come up that you've already run in your head. Eventually it gets easier (it can be hard at first) easy enough that you can ask

What would a (person with the trait you want to possess) do in the situation facing me now?

Then try to follow that.
You'll muck it up a few times. False starts get the first reaction right but not know what to do after that or how to explain to yourself or others why you just did X

Pretty soon the ideas start coming naturally and if you follow through regularly you will eventually just find yourself acting like (a person with the trait you want to possess) without having to try and force yourself too...Around this point if you have honestly been trying to internallize it you will just become the natural way to act for you. You will have internalized it. You will have changed who you are. In spite of not nessesarily having much of a clue.

It may help to think of yourself as character in a LARP or other RPG that is exactly like you but that trait you want to change....it helps build up ideas on choices of action.

Best of luck

[Vuzzmop]

Everybody acts. No matter how hard you try to be your own individual, people are bound to percieve you as just another minor character in their own little stage play.

My advice? stop trying to live up to what others percieve you as; let your character develop on its own, and stop trying to restrain it. You are confused because you cannot define yourself, but nobody really can, can they?

You are you. deal with it.:smallamused::smallsmile: