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View Full Version : Awkward... Confess here!



Prometheus
2008-11-23, 08:48 PM
We all have those awkward moments, and as a bunch of nerdy saying the first thing that comes to mind, we are bound to have a lot of them. I know I do. This is a thread to tell your tales of unbounded awkardness:

-So there was a player who left my DMing group (going to college). She said not to worry about her character. That same campaign continued quite a while, and I turned her old character into an NPC and advanced that plotline in her absence. Shortly after wrapping up all the loose ends there, I learn that she is back in town and was wondering if she could pick her character up where she left off. Awkward...

-So there is the NPC bard in one of my setting who is a local celebrity and due in part of an absurd Charisma score and a traveling lifestyle, is a bit of a player. I one occasion, I mention that they see him going off that night with two women. The party-clown comments "I bet they're all nasty and smell like fishes anyway." I jokingly retort "Not until after he's down with them." That came out way more sexual explicit than I intended, this being in front of my girlfriend, sister, and sister's husband. Awkward...

-So I made a thread (on these boards actually) about a character who is polymorphed into a rabbit. He was a bit of a chauvinist before he was a rabbit, so I mentioned some crude jokes that he'd make at the expense of human females and rabbit females. Then the thread came to a dead halt. A few days later I thought of why "Oh God! They must have taken me for a furry!" Awkward...

Tell a story! It feels good to be let free!

Zeful
2008-11-23, 09:15 PM
-So there was a player who left my DMing group (going to college). She said not to worry about her character. That same campaign continued quite a while, and I turned her old character into an NPC and advanced that plotline in her absence. Shortly after wrapping up all the loose ends there, I learn that she is back in town and was wondering if she could pick her character up where she left off. Awkward...

Time travel and clones are your best bet.

Lycan 01
2008-11-23, 09:33 PM
My friend brought her then-boyfriend to play with us. Neither of them knew how to play, but he didn't want to play. He only came along because she made him. I felt so bad for him... But every time I asked him a question about his character, who I was making for him, his usual answer would just be "I don't know" and/or "Whatever..."

I finally just cancelled the game... on account of the weather. O.o I saw that it was getting nasty outside, so I was like "Oh my, I can't make you all drive home in this weather. You'd best get back to your houses before it gets ugly!"

I got rid of everyone in record time compared to my other RPG groups and stuff. :smallbiggrin:


And then there was the time me, my GF, and her best friend all had a coup against our then-DM and they elected me as the DM for life since I knew more about the game than he did - and I'd never even played before. :smallbiggrin:

starwoof
2008-11-23, 09:39 PM
Two years ago my gaming group met in my school's cafeteria to play a session before school started (it was a 2 hour late start day). The game was going well until my 1st level fighter killed an ogre in one swing of his bastard sword.

I stood up and shouted
"I AM THE OGRESLAYER!"

And then everyone started to back away from me lest they become social pariahs.:smallbiggrin:

Lappy9000
2008-11-23, 09:45 PM
Two years ago my gaming group met in my school's cafeteria to play a session before school started (it was a 2 hour late start day). The game was going well until my 1st level fighter killed an ogre in one swing of his bastard sword.

I stood up and shouted
"I AM THE OGRESLAYER!"

And then everyone started to back away from me lest they become social pariahs.:smallbiggrin:

That is fantastic :smallbiggrin:

Collin152
2008-11-23, 09:47 PM
Two years ago my gaming group met in my school's cafeteria to play a session before school started (it was a 2 hour late start day). The game was going well until my 1st level fighter killed an ogre in one swing of his bastard sword.

I stood up and shouted
"I AM THE OGRESLAYER!"

And then everyone started to back away from me lest they become social pariahs.:smallbiggrin:

Ogres? Man, I got an Ogreslaying knife! It's got a +9 against Ogres!

Shades of Gray
2008-11-23, 09:49 PM
I told you, you're not there. You're getting drunk remember?:smallannoyed:

Lycan 01
2008-11-23, 09:51 PM
Two years ago my gaming group met in my school's cafeteria to play a session before school started (it was a 2 hour late start day). The game was going well until my 1st level fighter killed an ogre in one swing of his bastard sword.

I stood up and shouted
"I AM THE OGRESLAYER!"

And then everyone started to back away from me lest they become social pariahs.:smallbiggrin:

Did any secret DnD players come up to your afterwards and ask to join your group? :smallbiggrin:

celtois
2008-11-23, 09:55 PM
just a question wouldn't this fit better in the friendly banter board

mine is just the rogue in out group got her hands on a whip of gender changing...my character was the bard. No matter what I did my character was female in the morning no matter what I went to sleep as..its been three campaigns since then with the same dm and they still talk about it...
*sigh*

starwoof
2008-11-23, 09:57 PM
Did any secret DnD players come up to your afterwards and ask to join your group? :smallbiggrin:

Nah, even the ones which we had got beforehand were backing away.

Because playing dnd at school isn't already enough to make you a loser.:smallbiggrin:

Zocelot
2008-11-23, 10:23 PM
Ogres? Man, I got an Ogreslaying knife! It's got a +9 against Ogres!

My weapon of choice is my Sword of Ogre Decapitation.

Daracaex
2008-11-23, 10:55 PM
My weapon of choice is my Sword of Ogre Decapitation.

The Shadow!

Tengu_temp
2008-11-23, 11:13 PM
Two years ago my gaming group met in my school's cafeteria to play a session before school started (it was a 2 hour late start day). The game was going well until my 1st level fighter killed an ogre in one swing of his bastard sword.

I stood up and shouted
"I AM THE OGRESLAYER!"

And then everyone started to back away from me lest they become social pariahs.:smallbiggrin:

I'm sorry, I know it's horrible, but every time I read this I can't help but think of:
"I nail it for 4 damage!"

AslanCross
2008-11-23, 11:35 PM
The Shadow!

The Shadow?

(quick, someone say it a third time.)

The Sword of Ogre Decapitation was indeed the first thing that came to mind when I saw that big OGRESLAYER.

starwoof
2008-11-23, 11:41 PM
The Shadow?

The Shadow.

Lycan 01
2008-11-23, 11:42 PM
Oh, it was also awkward when my little brother started asking me how hot a random NPC was. It got even more awkward when he started attempting - and failing - Diplomacy checks to... um... you know... with the NPC.


It went from awkward to hilarious though when he said "I whip it out," and I handed him a D12 to see what his "Diplomacy Modifier" was without skipping a beat.

He rolled an 11. :smalleek:

Sstoopidtallkid
2008-11-23, 11:54 PM
My first role-playing experiences were over Skype calls during HS. Which was very fun, and I continued playing after I went off to college. The problem is that my room's connection can't handle the call on top of the rest of my internet usage, so I have to play in the comp lab. I spend friday nights surrounded by people writing essays saying stuff like "Kill it! Cut it's damn head off! Don't worry about him, he's not worth saving, just make sure THAT THING is DEAD!"

It's been a fun couple of years.

Vagnarok
2008-11-24, 12:30 AM
My first role-playing experiences were over Skype calls during HS. Which was very fun, and I continued playing after I went off to college. The problem is that my room's connection can't handle the call on top of the rest of my internet usage, so I have to play in the comp lab. I spend friday nights surrounded by people writing essays saying stuff like "Kill it! Cut it's damn head off! Don't worry about him, he's not worth saving, just make sure THAT THING is DEAD!"

It's been a fun couple of years.

Oh, it was also awkward when my little brother started asking me how hot a random NPC was. It got even more awkward when he started attempting - and failing - Diplomacy checks to... um... you know... with the NPC.


It went from awkward to hilarious though when he said "I whip it out," and I handed him a D12 to see what his "Diplomacy Modifier" was without skipping a beat.

He rolled an 11. :smalleek:

Gold. Both pure gold.

Lycan 01
2008-11-24, 12:32 AM
It got worse when his friend used the same tactic on an Intimidate check when he threatened to rape a squad of Kobolds.


And he was a Dragonborn, to boot. :smalleek:

Matticus
2008-11-24, 02:27 AM
I threw myself over a chasm knowing full well that there were some monstrous spiders hiding *above* us, with just a knife in my hand. Real action-star. Fell about fifty feet, failed some grapple checks, got the crap ripped out of me by a giant arachnid before a party member levitated me back to the top of the chasm. :smallannoyed:

Some players were absent in a World of Darkness game, so I played their Werewolf characters for the day, planning on just using them for some basic melee and not taking too many risks.
ONE little gaming session and they're dead at my hands. :smallannoyed:

OracleofWuffing
2008-11-24, 03:07 AM
Well, the DM asks the group to come up with a level 10 character for the sake of experimenting with new things (We've mostly been playing 5-7, with a very low amount of magic items). I decide to start investigating the flying movement rules, so I rolled up a Raptoran Warlock. Skipping the stuff that's not important, the other guy's Dwarven Geomancer starts making breakfast one morning.

"What's for breakfast?"
"Eggs. And whatever you can scavange for yourself."
":smalleek: What... kind of eggs?"
"I don't know, these things were just- :smalleek: Wait, you guys- your people, they don't..."
"...We... Hatch."
"That... That's... interesting."

I'm no longer allowed to show page 75 of Races of the Wild to anyone in my group.

Count D20
2008-11-24, 03:24 AM
I'm no longer allowed to show page 75 of Races of the Wild to anyone in my group.

Oh noes teh babies!!!

There was the time my character tried to use feminine wiles on the djinni trying to get info, forgetting that he was about 20 feet tall and my dm was my straight male best friend.

ghost_warlock
2008-11-24, 03:41 AM
A few years back a friend of mine was playtesting a new RPG system with his gaming group and I took part in the experiment. We were playing in a little study-nook in the college center (contained the cafeteria, a little fast-food grill are, computer lab, etc.) where there was a lot of people passing by on their way to/from class or other stuff.

The game was set in a 20-minutes-in-the-future Los Angelos where the mafia and yakuza were at war.

My character was a ronin-type swordsman and former assassin with a particularly cynical viewpoint on the whole scenario and was a bit brutal in his attempts to simply survive. As a joke of sorts, I took a low-point-value intolerance flaw, specifying ninjas as the subject of my intolerance. I wrote a couple anti-ninja slogans in the 'quotes' section of the character sheet, some pretty vulgar. Since the game was only meant to be a one-or-two session 'campaign,' I just didn't expect it to come up.

Unfortunately, my friend the gamemaster decided to attempt using it for comedy gold - immediately dropping the campaign into an hour-long (real time) car chase where the party, hostage in hand, was being chased around by ninjas in minivans. My character, no initially involved, became involved when he saw the pajamas-ninjas chasing after the party, everyone but my character riding around in minivans (my character rode a motorcycle, of course).

When the car chase ground to a halt and the resulting firefight was also finishing up, my character found himself surrounded by a horde of katana-wielding ninjas. I dropped the first couple fairly easily but decided to go for an intimidate-type check to even the odds a bit.

Everyone was getting a bit worked-up at this point and getting into character, miming actions and getting a little loud. After my character dropped another ninja, I stood up suddenly, pointed at my friend/the gamemaster as if my character was pointing at a ninja, and shouted loudly:

"I am going to kill you and [defecate] in your corpse's mouth!"

Traffic passing by the nook ground to a halt and everyone in the area just stood there and stared at me. :smalleek: After a couple seconds my friend, and the other guys at the table, burst into laughter. All the spectators seemed to decide it was some kind of messed up joke and went on with their business.

The whole time I was gaming with that group, though, I never lived down the idea of coprophagous ninjas.

Serpentine
2008-11-24, 03:56 AM
Yay coprophagy! :smallbiggrin:
<.<
>.>
v.v

Mine are more of "oh hey... I (DM) have really cocked up" sorts of situations. For example, one of my players was away one week, so I had his character (a female gnome cleric/sorcerer/arcane thingamabob) kidnapped by kobolds. When he came back, I ran a one-on-one game. So, she was stripped - of everything, if I recall correctly, everything - and chucked in a cell. Her stuff was left in a pile, with a bunch of kobolds going through it. She used Mage Hand to escape once or twice but was caught again. The third time, the player was sort of sitting there, looking at his sheets, not saying anything. He didn't ask me anything, for any details or whatever. Just sat there. Finally, it dawned on me: "You don't have any other spells without material components, do you?" "Nope."
*headdesk*
Wish he'd mentioned that earlier...

SoD
2008-11-24, 03:57 AM
"What's for breakfast?"
"Eggs. And whatever you can scavange for yourself."
":smalleek: What... kind of eggs?"
"I don't know, these things were just- :smalleek: Wait, you guys- your people, they don't..."
"...We... Hatch."
"That... That's... interesting."




Oh good lord, I'm sorry, but that is hilarious!

Yeah, that's my entire contribution.

elliott20
2008-11-24, 04:24 AM
I told you, you're not there. You're getting drunk remember?:smallannoyed:

are there any girls there?

ghost_warlock
2008-11-24, 04:25 AM
Yay coprophagy! :smallbiggrin:

Mind if I sig that? :smallwink:

(Just kidding :smalltongue:)

Hallavast
2008-11-24, 04:59 AM
You were role playing so what does OOC gender's have to do with anything? :smallconfused:

It can present an unwanted degree of difficulty to roleplay. Remember, most of us are not actors here. There is no rehearsing. There is no makeup. There are no costumes or props or special effects. Pretending to hit on an attractive female while looking Dave the Sweaty Dungeonmaster in the bearded face is easier said than done.

Brauron
2008-11-24, 09:17 AM
One time, while I was playing in a particularly LOUSY game, between sessions I was discussing the game with a fellow player, specifically discussing strategies to help the DM become better at DMing, since he had just killed three characters accidentally, not realizing that 5 Purple Worms are more than a party of five 6th-level characters without any form of magic can handle.

My fellow player suggested "Maybe we could just smack him with the rulebooks until he learns to read them, and not just look at the pictures?"

At which point, the DM appeared behind him.

Awkward.

Telonius
2008-11-24, 09:51 AM
Two years ago my gaming group met in my school's cafeteria to play a session before school started (it was a 2 hour late start day). The game was going well until my 1st level fighter killed an ogre in one swing of his bastard sword.

I stood up and shouted
"I AM THE OGRESLAYER!"

And then everyone started to back away from me lest they become social pariahs.:smallbiggrin:

Sounds like one of my group's stories.

Except it was in college, a troop of prospective students were walking into the lounge, and we were running Sunless Citadel. The DM, getting totally in character, stood up and shouted,
"I am the Queen of the Kobolds!"

Eloel
2008-11-24, 09:51 AM
One time, while I was playing in a particularly LOUSY game, between sessions I was discussing the game with a fellow player, specifically discussing strategies to help the DM become better at DMing, since he had just killed three characters accidentally, not realizing that 5 Purple Worms are more than a party of five 6th-level characters without any form of magic can handle.

My fellow player suggested "Maybe we could just smack him with the rulebooks until he learns to read them, and not just look at the pictures?"

At which point, the DM appeared behind him.

Awkward.

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0246.html

Being reminded :)

OverdrivePrime
2008-11-24, 10:08 AM
Oh man, I've got a few, but the most personally awkward for me was a few years back. Our (awesome) DM had decided to knock together a small D&D game for myself, a veteran female player who runs some mean WoD games, and her friend who I may have met once at a party a few weeks earlier. Because I'm typecast as the default hero (complete with greatsword and heroic blue aura) in any game environment I play in, I decided to play against type and roll up a halfling rogue with a focus on city rat skills and lots of charisma.
The woman I knew well rolled up a sorcerer, and the new one rolled up a... well I can't remember, I was distracted. Anyway, we describe our characters to each other and the DM. Sorceress is tall and willowy, with billowing clothes of reds and golds. I - in hindsight - basically described a 2'-6" version of myself. The new woman - now that I think about it, I think she was a fighter or something marital - leans forward, with her low-cut top showing off a very large percentage of her formidable bosom, and describes herself as being something like 6'-6" and goes into detail about her character's enormous chest. I - the married guy who blushes easily - was fighting a losing battle to keep my eyes up and keep my cheeks from glowing red.
Apparently this was hilarious to her, because for the rest of the night, her character would do pretty much anything to put my character (and me) into a deep soup of awkwardness. The other woman was every bit as amused, and would make further helpful suggestions to make my cheeks burn, aided by a good 10 years knowledge of my history, and an evil delight in seeing her friend tormented.
Roleplaying a charismatic halfling with a poor grapple check in a party with an overly friendly warrior woman with "cleavage of holding" is now off my list of enjoyable ways to spend an evening. Sooooooooo uncomfortable. :smalleek:

Muad'dib
2008-11-24, 11:07 AM
Sounds like one of my group's stories.

Except it was in college, a troop of prospective students were walking into the lounge, and we were running Sunless Citadel. The DM, getting totally in character, stood up and shouted,
"I am the Queen of the Kobolds!"

A friend of mine made it a habit of pulling these in the groups we played in. Two instances I can recall in our first years of college: First he screams out
"I am the hunter of men!"
as a bunch of freshmen girls walk through the lounge we were playing in...
He screamed again a few months later I think
"I slayed the goblin king!"
again as a number of freshmen girls were walking through the lounge behind his back. We eventually managed to move it down to the basement lounge after they removed the computer lab, but he was still very cautious of pulling stunts like that after those incidents.

xPANCAKEx
2008-11-24, 12:36 PM
Roleplaying a charismatic halfling with a poor grapple check in a party with an overly friendly warrior woman with "cleavage of holding" is now off my list of enjoyable ways to spend an evening. Sooooooooo uncomfortable. :smalleek:

why? that evening sounds GREAT... but i suppose my lack of shame would be the difference

OverdrivePrime
2008-11-24, 01:27 PM
why? that evening sounds GREAT... but i suppose my lack of shame would be the difference

Me = very, very married and bashful, with a Catholic upbringing. Also, it was quickly exposed during the game that I'm an extremely visual thinker. So every time something happened, I picture it in my head instantly. It does not do wonders for my sense of loyalty to my wife to picture my little halfling alter ego sniping his crossbow at orcs with a -4 penalty because he's failing his grapple check against a pair of very large orbs and the grabby woman they're connected to.

But yes, were I a single man, it would have been an awesome night, even with all the bashful embarrassment. :smallsmile:

Also, me being a big and supposedly mighty guy in real life, it's a real blow to the ego to get picked up and stuffed in someone's chainmail bikini top to "protect him from danger" or "he's too small to make the jump" or "I don't want him to drown, and this way he's guaranteed to float".

I swear on all that's holy, the next halfling I play will wear armor spikes with the merciful enchantment.

Lycan 01
2008-11-24, 01:34 PM
Don't worry man, I can see why you'd feel uncomfortable. I've got a GF, and I'm EXTREMELY loyal. But I'm also a visual thinker. Which leads to awkward situations when players ask me to describe female NPCs and certain aspects of them in great detail - usually with my GF present. :smalleek:

NEO|Phyte
2008-11-24, 01:41 PM
Not my moment, but I was there when it happened, and it was awesome.

So, my FLGS has a fairly large WoD following, and the weekend in question it was the vamps. There was apparently some bad stuff going down, as the entire group was arranged in a circle, with who I'm assuming was the head vamp talking loudly about the night's events, which included a pair of drained bodies.

Unbeknownst to him, a security guard had wandered into the game room at some point, and was standing there listening. The vamp's reaction when he turned around and noticed was PRICELESS. He probably just about had a heart attack.

Kesnit
2008-11-24, 01:41 PM
Don't worry man, I can see why you'd feel uncomfortable. I've got a GF, and I'm EXTREMELY loyal. But I'm also a visual thinker. Which leads to awkward situations when players ask me to describe female NPCs and certain aspects of them in great detail - usually with my GF present. :smalleek:

"She's so overweight that if she wasn't Good, you would think she'd taken 'Deformity (Obese)'. She's wearing a torn, stained dressing gown and slippers. Her hair is unnaturally orange."

Satyr
2008-11-24, 03:23 PM
Once, I and a friend sat on the station waiting for our train and debated about our ongoing shadowrun mission, which was - essential - an assassination attempt. We discussed several strategies, like snipers, poison, tranquilizer gas to stun the target's bodyguards, explosives, magic attacks, and the friendly troll with a sledge hammer (there are only surprisingly few problems which cannot be solved by a troll with a sledge hammer).
For some of the other people on the platform, our dialogue must have sound qute suspicious, because one of them informed the station police. Two friendly officers came and asked us what we were doing there. They were very friendly, but the situation was certainly strange. But once they understood that we were only talking about a game they were even curious and we talked until our train came (and i swear we would have convinced at least one of them to join us in a future group).

Lycan 01
2008-11-24, 03:28 PM
You totally should have invited them to play with you. :smallbiggrin:

Hzurr
2008-11-24, 03:30 PM
"She's so overweight that if she wasn't Good, you would think she'd taken 'Deformity (Obese)'. She's wearing a torn, stained dressing gown and slippers. Her hair is unnaturally orange."

Every so often, I think to myself "drugs aren't all that bad, maybe I should try some." Then I think of this movie, and decide against it.

Sstoopidtallkid
2008-11-24, 04:48 PM
Every so often, I think to myself "drugs aren't all that bad, maybe I should try some." Then I think of this movie, and decide against it.If you ever visit a country where you legally can, there is nothing like Risus-based crossover games while high.

Satyr
2008-11-24, 04:58 PM
You totally should have invited them to play with you.

We were 17 or 18 back then, it wouldn't have worked well. We gave them the adress of our local game shop and made them curious.

Still, quotes from a debate over shadowrun taken out of context will always sound suspect. "Pjotr is going to shut down the electricity in the security system, so I can contain the guards and U.O. will hack into their mainframe to copy the files, while you wait in the runaway car."