Did I do wrong?

[Adumbration]

A few minutes ago the doorbell rang, and when I went to answer, there was a man with a small piece of paper saying that he needed 20 euros, and that he was a polish student or something. I don't think he spoke either Finnish or English, since I tried both.

I didn't give him any money. Did I do wrong? I'm a little upset about this at the moment...

EDIT: Note, my parents weren't home, but I'm fairly sure they wouldn't have given. I'm going to ask, when they come back, though.

[ghost_warlock]

Eh, your money, your choice what to do with it.

[Player_Zero]

I would be mighty suspicious of that.

Generally speaking though, yeah, your choice. And I'm almost certain that if your parents are anything like mine then they would've told him to bugger off.

[Jølly]

I'd heard of this happening before though I didn't think it would ever happen to me. Well, this guy came up to me and my family in the parking lot and gave us a card claiming he was deaf and fought in Iraq and needed money for him and his family.

I wanted to give him something but I didn't have any cash on me. I felt pretty bad... :smallfrown:

[insecure]

Well, in my home-country, we have problems with beggers like those. It's a well-known fact that a begger can "earn" about 200 $ on a single day, just by asking people for money.

But it's your money, so do what you want to do with it, I guess.

[An Enemy Spy]

If he didn't give you a reason, don't give him a dime (or whatever your equivalent to a dime is, I don't know how eurocash works.)

[Evil DM Mark3]

Whilst it is of course possible that he was genuine you should know that there are people out there is the world who make their living doing this (or similar). The best of them can make almost £200 a day if they work 9-5 with a 1 hour break for lunch, more a weekends. Because 20 Euros is not a huge amount of money there are plenty who think "if this is a con why would he be asking for so little?"

Recently a person got arrested for doing this near where I live. He went around asking for £5 for a bus fare, dressed in a very expensive suite (another reason why people gave, it makes the idea that he is only asking because his wallet was knicked more credible, why else would a man like that ask for £5?) If he can get 40 people a day that is £200 and only one fool every 10 and a half minutes, assuming a full hour for lunch.
If he didn't give you a reason, don't give him a dime (or whatever your equivalent to a dime is, I don't know how eurocash works.)10 cent coin. Euros use cents.

[hamishspence]

you know, I have seen argument that a person who gives something to someone, and the person abuses that money- is partially responsible- that, say, a barman who serves drink to a drunk person is culpable if the person goes out and hurts someone, or chokes on vomit.

While not entirely fond of that line of reasoning- its worth remembering- if beggar spends money on illegal goods, people might claim you were aiding and abetting him (albeit unknowingly)

[An Enemy Spy]

Whenever I go to Seattle I always see bums asking for money. Thing is, not all of them are actually bums.

[Evil DM Mark3]

So, Adumbration, I think the general consensus is that you did right. In another world where people more honest I might have said otherwise but here, you did right.

[Danin]

I'm always saddened by how callous some people have gotten to the less fortunate. While I understand the concept that it is your money and that you earned it, a little compassion can go a long way. I live near Vancouver so I'm more than accustomed to homeless people begging, and while I rarely give money, if there is a Tim Horton's near by I usually grab them a meal or something to eat.

That being said, 20 Euros is a lot of money. I probably wouldn't have offered him that, but I would have probably offered him some food. If he takes it, well, thats probably done him some good and he'll be very thankful and I'll probably throw in a dollar or two. If not, well, he's probably looking for drug money and then I close the door in his face.

Ooh well, to each his own. I definitely don't think you did something wrong, it just might be something you haven't had to deal with much in your life. Don't feel bad, just get an idea in your head about what you'll do next time :smallsmile:

[Evil DM Mark3]

While I understand the concept that it is your money and that you earned it, a little compassion can go a long way.That isn't why. Whilst I don't because my charitable donations are all assigned to other places I would be more than happy to donate to charities to help such people but the idea that people might enter this to make money is at least as old as "The Man with the Twisted Lip" by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

[hamishspence]

compassion can be a fine thing, but other factors may come into play as well.

[Copacetic]

You did good. A man like that was probably asking for drug money.

[RTGoodman]

I live near Vancouver so I'm more than accustomed to homeless people begging, and while I rarely give money, if there is a Tim Horton's near by I usually grab them a meal or something to eat.

Well, that's the thing - if you try to buy most of the panhandlers I've encountered a meal (and my family has tried before), they'll almost ALWAYS turn it down, because a good portion of them either AREN'T really homeless (I've seen a "beggar" with $200 Nikes beg on a street corner then get tired and go get in a Cadillac and drive off) or if they are they want to spend their money on something else.

Of course, things have gotten so bad here in my part of the world that one of the local cities has had to recently pass a LAW about panhandling. Basically, the people begging for money have gotten so desperate, apparently, they've started following people around, threatening them with violence, and all kinds of crazy stuff like that.

Basically, what I'm sayin' is, I think folks'll forgive you for this one little thing, if the person was indeed in need. I think EvilDMMK3 is right about it being a more legitimate thing if we lived in a more honest world, but, alas, we don't.

[SweetLikeLemons]

I am in a rather cynical and suspicious mood lately, but I think you did do one thing wrong: You opened the door to someone you didn't know when you were home alone. Please be careful about that.

[Mordokai]

I lended a sum of 50 euros to a... for a lack of better term, lets call him friend. We were classmates in elementary, so I thought, sure, I can trust him. And he said he had two kids at home, that he needs to feed them... long story short, my soft heart got the better of me.

We had a reunion, two days back. There I heard he has drug problems, he is owes money to multiple people, he is in big troubles and quite far down the line, as far as drugs are concerned.

I doubt I'll ever see that money again. And 50 euros isn't that little of a cash. My point here is, you can't trust anybody. Not a friend, even less to a total stranger. I blame myself for being a sucker, but what's done is done.

I think you did right.

[Pyrian]

I figure that any money given to a beggar would be better given to a soup kitchen or shelter. :smallconfused:

[Oregano]

I had someone like that come round to my house ages ago but they were trying to sell me some paintings to get money, which is better than begging(I give nothing to beggars), I didn't have any money though and my parents would have been really shocked if I'd bought a painting.:smalltongue:

I think you did right.

[Don Julio Anejo]

Well, that's the thing - if you try to buy most of the panhandlers I've encountered a meal (and my family has tried before), they'll almost ALWAYS turn it down, because a good portion of them either AREN'T really homeless (I've seen a "beggar" with $200 Nikes beg on a street corner then get tired and go get in a Cadillac and drive off) or if they are they want to spend their money on something else.
Nah, here (in Vancouver) bums really are bums. I don't think anyone really cons as a dayjob except that Jamaican looking dude who knocked on my door and wanted 20 bucks for an excavator that was stuck at a nearby construction site. Except it was quite easy to tell he was lying because 1. it was Sunday nights and 2. all the construction workers at that (and almost all other nearby sites) were Punjabi.

[Tirian]

I'm always saddened by how callous some people have gotten to the less fortunate. While I understand the concept that it is your money and that you earned it, a little compassion can go a long way.

At the same time, it makes sense to ask whether passing out cash is the best way to express compassion, and whether that cash is best "invested" on the people who are overtly begging for it. I'd rather volunteer or donate for an immigrant literacy program that can offer this guy enough language skills to get a demeaning low-wage job than give him an allowance while he remains outside the system, y'know?

[Thanatos 51-50]

I have aout $300 dollars owed to me floating around out there. The great majority (200) is from a guy who is currently underway (And went, mostly, towards beer in Saipan. I should know, I was sitting right next to him).
The other 100 is from a guy I will most likely never see again, but that was to pay of train tickets for his wife and daughter to travel from Yokosuka to Shimoda and back.
The dude missed his family, I don't blame him, they're nice folks (Yeah, I was there, too).

I'm a rather philanthropic soul.

EDIT:
Forget the $25 on roomate owes me for buying him a headset becasue the sotre would have closed by the time he got off work.

[DraPrime]

You shouldn't have given him money. Those Polish people are all dirty thieves.

[valadil]

You did nothing. You neglected to do good.

Also, you have no way of knowing if the money would go towards booze/drugs. Addicts need to eat too and even if he spends 90% of what he gets on drugs, the rest could feed the guy.

When I'm feeling generous I prefer to offer food or a drink to someone like that. This time of year gloves or a hat go a long way too.

[Morty]

Heh. The big problem with such people is that you never know if the person asking you for money is in a real need or wants to buy some alcohol, cigarettes or drugs. Sometimes you can tell -a middle-aged woman in tattered clothing is likely to be in a real need, for example- but sometimes, you can't. I remember that my mother once helped a woman who came to our house saying that she lost her house in a flood or a fire, I don't remember exactly. I don't know if she was telling the thruth, but she came back later few times, asking again, and it got rather tiresome.


Those Polish people are all dirty thieves

Yeah. They should be rounded up and sent back to Poland where they belong.

[Spiryt]

You shouldn't have given him money. Those Polish people are all dirty thieves.

Plus, a damn student = a damn alcoholic.

Don't give them money in any case!

[DraPrime]

Plus, a damn student = a damn alcoholic.

Don't give them money in any case!

Yeah. They should be rounded up and sent back to Poland where they belong.

Yes! Get the Polish back to where they live! All they do is walk up to doors and ask for your money. Although, the ones from from Warszawa are quite nice.

[GoC]

As someone who has been in the unfortunate position of losing money (or pickpocketed, I still don't know what happened to it) and not getting enough busfare to return home I sympathize. Took me ages to realise that my best bet was the three hour walk home...:smallannoyed:
I could have saved those three hours with a mere 8p equivalent donation for a phone call!

EDIT: My dad always used to (and probably still does) buy people food instead of giving them money.


I doubt I'll ever see that money again. And 50 euros isn't that little of a cash. My point here is, you can't trust anybody. Not a friend, even less to a total stranger. I blame myself for being a sucker, but what's done is done.

I generally lend if they've got a (usualy unmentioned) garuntee. For instance when a flat mate talked about his missing credit card I lent him 60 pounds til he got a new one. I knew he wouldn't skip out due to the 12,000 pounds he's invested in the uni tuition fee.:smallamused:

[Bonecrusher Doc]

I figure that any money given to a beggar would be better given to a soup kitchen or shelter. :smallconfused:

I second this. A lot of times 5 bucks will just buy a homeless guy a small amount of unhealthy food from a fast food restaurant and some cigarettes, when at feedingamerica.org that same five bucks could provide 80 meals! Also giving money to beggars just encourages them to beg, whereas if there are well-funded soup kitchens in the neighborhood, they will start going there instead and get connected to other social services. It takes a certain amount of cold-heartedness to say no (I admit I give money to beggars sometimes) but in the long run I think the beggars are better off if you donate to an organization instead of giving them money.

A lot of times "beggars" will come up to me in the parking lot of Walmart and say they need money for gas for their car or whatever. I usually offer to call the police for them to help them out, at which point they quickly walk away from me. I feel better then, because I know if they were really in trouble and not just trying to scam compassionate people they would be happy to see a police officer.
Same thing applies basically anytime - somebody asks you for money for food, offer them food instead. If they ask you for money for a phone call, offer to make the call for them on your cell phone instead. Then you can separate the scammers from the true people in need.

And man, I can't stand those people who say things like "I need to go see my brother in the hospital" just to get money when they are lying. It's like they are trying to exterminate compassion in this world and replace it with suspicion. [/rant]

[SoD]

I'd say that you very definatly didn't do the wrong thing. You didn't kick him out to begin with, you tried to communicate with him (albeit unsucessfully), but as you couldn't understand him, he couldn't (apparantly) understand you, and he didn't really have a reason for needing money (apart from being a student, God knows all of us students need money!).

What I would've done is to give him 5 euros or so, if I could spare it at the time. Mind you...a friend of mine currently owes me $100 for stuff I've bought for him. And he had the gall to buy something for me, and to ask me to pay him back the next day, because he needs to give his mother some money. Right now I'm down to $30 total in the whole world, and he says he can't pay me back for three weeks, as he needs to pay his bank money as well! And I really hope I get the money before Christmas...

[Darkshade]

200 pounds a day, i'd say i'm in the wrong profession.

seriously people who take advantage of others like that are despicable because they make it harder to know when your helping someone who actually needs help and its never wrong to say no to someone asking for money, but it's also never wrong to say yes, what they do with it does not in any way diminish that right of your deed because you are showing kindness and compassion to strangers, it doesn't matter whether or not they deserve it only that you are a good enough person to give it. So you could not have been wrong in that situation regardless of what you did.

that really sounds like a cop out though

[The Orange Zergling]

Beggars in my town only show up once in a blue moon and even then they never knock on doors. However when I went to San Fransisco for a week there was literally one every street corner. Honestly, I would just ignore them. If you feel really bad, give money to an organization that actually helps the homeless get what they need, if you just give out money to beggars you don't know if they're actually in need of it or if they're just going to go buy crack or something.

[Jack Squat]

I walk around cities quite often, so I run into my fair share of beggars and bums. I've helped one out, he said he was diabetic and needed some food. He was visibly shaking, but who knows if he actually was or not. I walked up to the register in a Taco Bell (closest restaurant nearby) and handed him five dollars to get some food.

I don't mind helping people out, but I also despise freeloaders. I give money to the Salvation Army and to food shelters, along with giving some stuff to Goodwill. Those help out people, giving cash to someone on the street rarely does.

I say you did good, if you feel bad, give some money to a shelter or food drive, but don't feel like you need to.

[Doran_Liadon]

That happened to me alot in Ireland but they were Romanian. My parents thought it was a conspiracy, that their government was testing our government. So we gave them apples.:smallbiggrin:

[Zarrexaij]

That happened to me alot in Ireland but they were Romanian. My parents thought it was a conspiracy, that their government was testing our government. So we gave them apples.:smallbiggrin:I'm sorry, I lol'd.

I haven't really seen a lot of beggers around here. But in my hometown, there's a bunch of homeless people. :smallfrown: It's not because they're freeloaders, it's because they all have mental illnesses of some sort or for other reasons I can't specify.

tl;dr (lazy slob :smalltongue:): Homeless people are usually homeless because of the system, not because they are lazy, though there are lazy homeless people.

[Serpentine]

A few minutes ago the doorbell rang, and when I went to answer, there was a man with a small piece of paper saying that he needed 20 euros, and that he was a polish student or something. I don't think he spoke either Finnish or English, since I tried both.

I didn't give him any money. Did I do wrong? I'm a little upset about this at the moment...

EDIT: Note, my parents weren't home, but I'm fairly sure they wouldn't have given. I'm going to ask, when they come back, though.How old are you? If you're fairly young, then no, no problem. For an older person in that situation, I think it's best to try to find out just what they wanted the money for, and try to directly supply them that.
I bought a woman at Sydney Central Station a big breakfast... She kept saying she needed money for medicine, but I'm a student, half of us are below the poverty line too. Yeah, most of the homeless people in Sydney have mental problems (the solution to the dismal situation of the mental institutions was not to shut them down :smallannoyed:), and many others are people who just can't afford rent and the like anymore. Of course some of them are drug addicts and alcoholics - though I'd argue that this may often be the result, not the cause, of the homelessness, and that they deserve compassion and help in any case - but most are there through no fault of their own. I really dislike the constant use of "bum" and "hobo" to dismiss the homeless as though they're lesser people.
In summary: I agree with Zarr :smallwink:

[Solaris]

Well, if you're a grown man, in your position I would've offered to let him use my telephone to call his parents and have them wire him some money. Just about nobody who can afford to go to school has nobody that they can ask for money - and if not, well, Europe's pretty much one landmass, he can walk. It'll be good for him, build character.
If you're a kid, dude, definitely the right thing.

[Narmoth]

I have some rules on this:

- First, a rule inspired by Bor: never ask minors about money. Any person that I see ask money from minors won't get any from me
- Who needs the money more? I usually have some money that I'd spend on something unnecessary like beer or candy (yeah, I'm in the age when you fancy both), which I surely could spare
- Does he/she look professional? People that beg for money day after day in Norway, a country where you have social security, and are not substance abusers, are professionals. I won't encourage their trade by giving. When I'm in Russia, I never give because I never have cash (credit card only), or I would give.
- Has the person a reason for why he needs the money more than me? Substance abusers won't finance their addiction by begging. Drugs (at least in Norway) are to expensive for that. Still, having bought their drugs, they might need money for food or a place to sleep. There are lots of regulations that might prevent them getting this help from the government (being intoxicated when applying at community shelters and so on) and he or she might really need the money.
- Pitty. In the end, it's all about that. If you take pitty in the person, and have money that is yours to give and that you don't need yourself, why not give it?

[Kris Strife]

Nah, here (in Vancouver) bums really are bums. I don't think anyone really cons as a dayjob except that Jamaican looking dude who knocked on my door and wanted 20 bucks for an excavator that was stuck at a nearby construction site. Except it was quite easy to tell he was lying because 1. it was Sunday nights and 2. all the construction workers at that (and almost all other nearby sites) were Punjabi.

I have a friend in Vancouver that panhandles for convention money