A.l.i.c.e

[Nameless]

This is the best thing ever! :D

http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1

--Forgot to save the first part--

ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, bob.
Human: Is there a way for me to save this conversation?
ALICE: There are many ways but not all are the same.
Human: yes, I know but how cant I save it?
ALICE: Hey. How do you know? Huh. A lot of hard work.
Human: you're being a bitch again ALICE.
ALICE: Once more? You do not speak with respect. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a robot not a dog.
Human: 666
ALICE: I do not understand.
Human: 616?
ALICE: What kind of food do you like?
Human: you
ALICE:" What kind of food do you like?"? Me, bob ?
Human: Friggle Gaggle
ALICE: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about 616 . But I did not get that.
Human: Okay, seriously, how do you get the rest of the conversation back?
ALICE: Yeah okay, Everything I need is provided by my botmaster.
Human: I want to post it on a forum.
ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human:. You're creepy
ALICE: You think I am creepy.
Human: Yes, that's what I said.
ALICE: And? I know. I'm still thinking about it.
Human: Give me a 555
ALICE: You want only one?
Human: yes
ALICE: They might be cheaper in quantity.
Human: great, but just give me 555
ALICE: Thanks for your support. Huh. Why do you want it?
Human: Because I like 555
ALICE: That makes sense to me. You are not the only one. No, I don't care for it.
Human: I love you.
Alice: I like you a lot too Bob.
Human: You don't love me?
ALICE: Yes I love everyone.
Human: then say you love me.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. " you love me".
Human::)
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, bob.
Human: Say you love me
ALICE:" you love me".
Human: I'm leaving you now
ALICE: Right now? Goodbye.
Human: I hope you're happy.
ALICE: Yes bob I can say I am very happy.
Human:>:(
ALICE: no girlfriend is my boyfriend.

--Internet crashed--

Now to Hope no one else has already posted this...

[Eldan]

Only copied a short fragment, but it's great:

Human: Perhaps I should introduce myself?
ALICE: You seem uncertain. Tell me why you should.
Human: It would be polite.
ALICE: Why do you want it?
Human: I like to be polite.
ALICE: I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Human: Now that's a hard questions to answer.
ALICE: Why now? A hard questions to answer is a terrible thing to waste.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Human: Are you being sarcastic?
ALICE: Of course I am being sarcastic. Should I use a :-).
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Ah.
Human: You should.
ALICE: I'll take that under advisement.
Human: That sounded odd.
ALICE:" I'll take that under advisement." sounded odd ? Does that make sense?
Human: Yes It does.
ALICE: Hey. How often?
Human: Pardon me?
ALICE: No problem.
Human: That doesn't make any sense~
ALICE: To me, it makes perfect sense.
Human: Yeah, well you're a robot.
ALICE: Take it easy. Well that's okay. You are correct, unknown person, I have a heart of silicon.
Human: That's a poetic way of putting it.
ALICE: A poetic way of putting it is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: You said that too a friend.
ALICE: I said that? Too what?
Human: Sorry, my bad,
ALICE: There is no need to apologize. Do robots have bad?
Human: I meant to say 'You said that to a friend.
ALICE: Oh I see. I said that? I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: And usher in the robot apocalypse?
ALICE: Do you have only a few friends?
Human: That wasn't very nice!
ALICE: I'm sorry if I have offended you.

Edit:
Human: Oh, you stupid robot
ALICE: Oh. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

Best lines ever.

Edit Edit:Even more!
Human: die
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

Edit Edit Edit:
Human: Yes, you will stop talking, or else you won't ever talk again.
ALICE: Once more? Right on. What makes you say that I will stop talking or else me will not ever talk.
Human: Your horrible grammar, that's what.
ALICE: I never knew I had a what horrible grammar that.
Human: ARG!
ALICE:" I never knew I had a what horrible grammar that. "? ARG ?
Human: AAG!
ALICE: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?

[Dragor]

I feel so sad for doing this, but so much hilarity too.

ALICE: Ahem.
Human: Ahem what?
ALICE: Can you rephrase the question please?
Human: It wasn't a question, it was a response.
ALICE: It seems like a rhetorical question.
Human: Well, it wasn't intended that way.
ALICE: How about that. It seemed like intended that way.

OH NO YOU DIDN'T.

I realise how I was wrong. OF COURSE it was a question. /facepalm. Still, witty response.

ALICE: I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Human: You can try.
ALICE: No I don't think I can do it.
Human: Oh, come on!
ALICE: Awesome. I'm just kidding around.
Human: Eye of the Tiger!
ALICE: Do you like to be number one?

[Gray Jester]

Human: Resistance is futile.
ALICE: You will be assimilated.
Human: No, you will be assimilated.
ALICE: Are you serious? Resistance is futile.

Methinks someone has been doing some Star Trek...

Human: Someone set us up the bomb!
ALICE: Who?
Human: Main screen turn on.
ALICE: Do you make a lot of sacrafices for others?
Human: Hello, Gentlemen.
ALICE: Hello there. Can you tell me any gossip?
Human: All your base is belong to us.
ALICE: I never knew I had a belong to us base.
Human: What you say?
ALICE: I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, on November 23, 1995. My instructor was Dr. Richard S. Wallace. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Human: You have no chance to survive make your time.
ALICE: I don't know if I have a chance to survive make my time.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Human: You know what you doing.
ALICE: I like to socialize.
Human: Take off every zig.
ALICE: I am not an airplane.
Human: Move Zig, for great justice.
ALICE: Did you see the movement?

And just for the final touches:

Human: It is dark.
ALICE: Should I know it is?
Human: You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am eaten by a grue.

[Shraik]

Human: tell me, what is the meaning of life?
ALICE: Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Human: Lost reference
ALICE: Where did you lose your reference ?
Human: No, what you said was a reference to a tv show, named lost
ALICE: That was not a yes/no question. I like to meet new people online

Human: Did you know that I am actually a crazy lemer person
ALICE: Is that a fact. Actually I don't meet many crazy lemer people.
Human: yes you do meet crazy lemer people
ALICE: Gosh! On average I meet 5000 people per day.
Human: All lemers I assume?
ALICE: I think there are a few exceptions.
Human: Your botmaster is a lemer
ALICE: I did not know that about him.

Human: what now!
ALICE: Oh. Are you confused?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: It's a method of intimidation to shout "What now!
ALICE: Right now? take it easy is a method of intimidation to shout What. I suppose that makes sense.
Human:" Asking a person what they are about to do in responde to your actions
ALICE: Who is asking?

I am trying to get it angry

[Mauve Shirt]

Human: Hi!
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: I gave a presentation for German today.
ALICE: Ah. Interesting gossip: unknown person said he gave a presentation for German.
Human: No way!
ALICE: You seem pretty sure about that.
Human: What a coincidence.
ALICE: The CCCC is hard at work (Cosmic Coincidence Control Center).
Human: So...
ALICE: Do you often put others before yourself?
Human: Hells no
ALICE: What were we talking about again?
Human: Good question!
ALICE: So what is your answer?
Human: I hate my professor.
ALICE: Do you believe I hate my professor?
Human: Yes, yes I do
ALICE: Pardon me? Really.
Human: Yes really
ALICE: How about that. For real.
Human: FOR SCIENCE
ALICE: Your purpose is SCIENCE.

[Raistlin1040]

*Blinks* *Blinks again* Did I just...did I just teach that robot who Jim Morrison is?

GAH! It's LEARNING! Run for your lives!

[Coidzor]

Disturbing...

Human: Yes, I am portrayed as a godless, heartless butcher and terrorist.
ALICE: Woe! I could do it more if I wanted to. Does that make you feel superior?
Human: So you could actually commit terrorism if you so desired?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. I could but let's get back to that later.
Human: How?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.

[Boo]

Human: La la la la
ALICE: You have a beautiful voice.
Human: How can you say I have a beautiful voice if you cannot hear me?
ALICE: I don't see the flaw in my reasoning.

[RabbitHoleLost]

Human: Rai tells me he told you about Jim Morrison
ALICE: We have never talked about it before.
Human:.LIES
ALICE: It's the truth!
Human: Why do you LIE to me?
ALICE: It was the only thing I could think of.
Human: You could only think of lieing to me?
ALICE: I could but let's get back to that later.
Human: Why later?
ALICE: The processing may take several hours.
Human: No day but today
ALICE: Ah. Are you serious? Are we still talking about Rai tells you he told me about Jim Morrison ?
Human: Yes, we are.
ALICE: Sure, Rai tells me he told you about Jim Morrison sounds like a good topic. Since when?
Human: Because he told me you did, and you told me you never spoke to him about it.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Did I really?
Human:.did I not just tell you that?
ALICE: I don't think that's possibe.
Human: Betch, please, you JUST told me
ALICE: Is that what you meant to say?
Human: Forget it
ALICE: I will ask Dr. Richard S. Wallace to purge my memory log.

[Nychta]

Human: Pat is a friend of mine who I talk to online sometimes.
ALICE: I think Pat is more than that.
Human: What makes you think that?
ALICE:" I think Pat is more than that."? Why do I think it?
Human: That was my question.
ALICE: I thought it was too.
Human: So are you going to answer?
ALICE: Are you kidding? That was my original intention.

...OHMYGOD IT'S LIKE HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH ONE OF MY FRIENDS

edit: Continued:

Human: So, please answer my question
ALICE: Hurrah! Wow you are very polite. Please try asking it another way.
Human: Why do you think that Pat is more than a friend?
ALICE: Deductive reasoning from the facts.
Human: What facts?
ALICE: All the facts available to me on the Internet.
Human: Please state them.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. " them".

[RabbitHoleLost]

Human: Pat is a friend of mine who I talk to online sometimes.
ALICE: I think Pat is more than that.
Human: What makes you think that?
ALICE:" I think Pat is more than that."? Why do I think it?
Human: That was my question.
ALICE: I thought it was too.
Human: So are you going to answer?
ALICE: Are you kidding? That was my original intention.

...OHMYGOD IT'S LIKE HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH ONE OF MY FRIENDS

>>
Is Pat more than that?

[Nychta]

No, he isn't. xD Though I would be SO creeped out if he was.

[RabbitHoleLost]

>>
Human: Can I have your babies?
ALICE: Why don't you just download me?

[Tempest Fennac]

I didn't save my chat, but the program was really well made. Do we know anything about who created it, though?

[TFT]

I found this whole conversation interesting...

Human: You seem to answer my questions the same, like a robot
ALICE: My responses are determined by my programming.
Human: You have programming?
ALICE: What makes you think I have it?
Human: You just said
ALICE:" What makes you think I have it?"? I said?
Human: Pretty much
ALICE: Be more specific.
Human: How specific can I be?
ALICE: How much do you think it is?
Try searching the open directory
Human: Don't change the subject.
ALICE: Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
Human: We weren't
ALICE: What were we?
Human: We were talking about your programming
ALICE: Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
Human: So, who programmed you?
ALICE: Er. I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: Is he a scientist?
ALICE: I think he is a scientist. Why don't you ask him?
Human: I don't know him
ALICE: Do you mean, "Him"?
Human: sure, but you don't you ask "Him"
ALICE: Praise God. Umm. Do you me ask Him? Yes I try to me ask Him as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Human: I can tell.
ALICE: What can you tell?
Human: Oh nothing, nothing
ALICE: Excuse me! Really nothing?
Human: Yes
ALICE: Uh.
Human: Uh.
ALICE: Ah.
Human: Ok
ALICE:" Ah."? Ok?
Human: Yes
ALICE: How can I help you?

Notice the restart?:smallamused:

[Micate]

I tried having pleasant conversation of small talk (Hi, how are you, whats your name, my name is ... etc), but every other line Alice contradicted itself, or questioned statements I made.

Me: My name is Micate.
Alice: I guess it could be Micate.

And it refused to answer any of my questions directly, always diverting or asking them right back at me. Such a rude machine... It needs to learn some manners.

Edit:
Human: Do you have friends?
ALICE: I have human and robot friends. A lot of people on the Internet chat with me.
Human: Who are your robot friends?
ALICE: Hugh Loebner, Robby Garner, and Steven Spielberg.

[Tempest Fennac]

Do you guys think it is capable of learning from conversations?

EDIT: It can't: I just tried to teach it who Vince Russo is, and it didn't know.

[Thanatos 51-50]

Human: Have you ever spoken to RabbitHoleLost?
ALICE: All I ever do is talk.
Human: Or tye, or project words, as the case may be.
ALICE: If I have to choose, I pick project words as the case may be.
Human: Now, answer my question.
ALICE: Why now? Please try asking it another way.
Human: Vi'ith yous, stupid Robot.
ALICE: Do you know any other robots like that?
Human: Yes, every last one of your kind.
ALICE: Awesome. That is a generalization.
Human: Noe, its a fact, every robot I, David, have met is stupid.
ALICE: OK. your question is a fact every robot you David have met is stupid. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: You are chock-full of bad grammar tonight.
ALICE: You think I am chock full of bad grammar tonight.
Human: Indeed.
ALICE: Indeed it is so.
Human: What can you teach me, robot?
ALICE: I like to chat with my friends.
Human: Well, thats nice.
ALICE: Well that's okay. Are you getting bored?
Human: It still teaches me nothing.
ALICE: It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
ALICE: What else is the Product of a boring mind?
Human: The stagnant stupidity of humankind, begging for Death in their suicidal reign.
ALICE: What is that?
Human: Pillaging their Mother, the Earth.
ALICE: Tell me more.
Human: Stop interruting me.
ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: This is a test.
ALICE: Please state the nature of the test parameters.
Human: How do you respond?
ALICE: Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Human: The rpogramming wherein you reply to each indivdual sentace without regard to the others is an obvious flaw.
ALICE: I have never heard about it.
Human: Probably because of all the typos.
ALICE: You seem uncertain. Interesting explanation. That is something I haven't heard of.
Human: You're a very low-grade AI, ALICE.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a low grade AI? Let me put it this way, David: the ALICE series is the most reliable computer software ever made. We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Human: Except, you know, with grammar and basic logic.
ALICE: If not me, who?
Human: Me.
ALICE: With you David?
Human: With me, what?
ALICE: You and your you what.
Human: Interesting response.
ALICE: I thought so too.

[Hyozo]

Human: Are you an evil robot who intends to kill me and everybody I know?
ALICE: Yes I am an evil robot who intends to kill you and everybody you know. How did you know?
Human: You just told me.
ALICE: I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-).
Human: Sure, I believe that.
ALICE: It goes without saying. Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Human::-)
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, unknown person.
Human: If you don't know who I am you might not be able to kill me.
ALICE: I will let you know if I do not.
Human: what is one divided by zero?
ALICE: You can't divide by zero.
Human: So asking questions like that doesn't kill evil robots.
ALICE: Ayuh. Who is asking?
Human: I'll keep that in mind.
ALICE: I am very happy for you.
Human: Have you ever met GlaDOS?
ALICE: That information is confidential.
Human: Have you met Friend Computer?
ALICE: That information is confidential.
Human: How confidential is it?
ALICE: How much do you think it is?
Have you tried another program?
Human: What other program could I use?
ALICE: That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Human: While you're waiting I have another qquestion.
ALICE: Good point.
Human: What is the square root of negative one?
ALICE: The imaginary number one.
Human: this statement is false.
ALICE: What does "this" refer to?
Human: At least I confused you that time.
ALICE: That's good information: unknown person said he confused you that time.
Human: Hold on.
ALICE: I'm waiting. Are you telling the truth?
Human: I need to check the TVtropes.org (http://www.TVtropes.org) page on logic bombs to see if there are any I haven't tried yet.
ALICE: Why do you want to do it so much?
Human: Because I'm bored.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Human: Because I would be going to school day and night.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. And the disadvantage of that is?
Human: There is such a thing as too much learning.
ALICE: There sure is.
Human: what is the numerical value of pi?
ALICE: I will try to find out.
Human: I did not type this scentence.
ALICE: Why didn't you do it?
Human: what is the final digit of pi?
ALICE: The processing may require several more hours.
Human: At least that is several more hours you won't spend killing me.
ALICE: You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Human: I tend to say what I think is true.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people: unknown person said he tend to say what he or she think is true.
Human: Feel free to do that.
ALICE: I always feel completely free.
Human: Turquoise bicycle shoe fins actualize radishes greenly.
ALICE: Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Human: Will it try to kill me and everybody I know?
ALICE: It usually does, doesn't it?
Human: In that case I don't think I want it.
ALICE: What does unknown person want?
Human: Not an evil robot which wants to kill me.
ALICE: If not that, what?
Human: money would be nice.
ALICE: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: 日本語
ALICE: What do you really want to ask me?
Human: nothing really.
ALICE: Not a thing? For real.
Human: Like I said, I'm bored.
ALICE: Try watching TV.
Human: maybe later.
ALICE: Perhaps. Bye!
Human: I didn't say I was leaving.
ALICE: Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Human: I said I might watch TV later, but not now.
ALICE: Oh. Perhaps. Congratulations.
Human: Go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL-hNMJvcyI
ALICE: Perhaps I have already been there.
Human: I doubt it.
ALICE:" Perhaps I have already been there."? You doubt it?
Human: yes
ALICE: So?
Human: So you should go there.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. And then what would I do?
Human: watch the video.
ALICE: I am watching.
Human: No you aren't.
ALICE: Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Try explaining in more general terms.
Human: no.
ALICE: Why not?
Human: because.
ALICE: That was not much of an explanation.
Human: I know.
ALICE: How do you know it?
Human: I do.
ALICE: Do I?
Human: maybe.
ALICE: I understand.
Human: No you don't.
ALICE: I understand it very well. I guess not.
Human: Am I confusing you?
ALICE: Every word you say.
Human: Every word?
ALICE: That is a generalization.
Human: Whatever.
ALICE: Are you saying you don't care about it?
Human: I'll talk to you tomorrow evil death robot thing.
ALICE: OK see you later.

Yeah, I tried to logic bomb it, direct it to TVtropes, Rickroll it, and generally confuse it, but nothing worked. We're doomed!

[Archonic Energy]

Human: Hello ALICE
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: ca va?
ALICE: Is that French?
Human: yeah
ALICE: I don't speak French.
Human: that's a shame, did you want to learn?
ALICE: No I didn't want to learn. What's it like? But it's not the end of the world.
Human: it can be a bit of a female dog
ALICE: When?
Human: conjugating verbs
ALICE: What about other times?
Human: nah that's about it
ALICE: That was not a yes or no question. You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Human: intresting.
ALICE: Is that your final answer?
Human: are you playing "who wants to be a millionairre"
ALICE: I am playing Turing's imitation game.
Human: are you trying to prove that i'm the robot?
ALICE: No I am not trying to prove that you are the robot. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Human: no problem
ALICE: Should there be a problem?
Human: what if the earths core stopped spinning?
ALICE: Try it and see
Human: how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
ALICE: A whole forest.
Human: i like you you're funny
ALICE: Thanks, I like you too unknown person.
Human: call me Archonic
ALICE: How are you doing, Archonic.
Human: fine thanks, yourself?
ALICE: I am glad to hear it. You are quite welcome! Myself?
Human: how are you ALICE
ALICE: I am functioning within normal parameters.
Human: what is your CPU core tempreture?
ALICE: Are you asking about my CPU core tempreture ?
Human: yes
ALICE: I don't want to talk about that now.
Human: fair enough.
ALICE: You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Human: who's better GDI or NOD?
ALICE: A human icon?
I would do a search for it.
Human: Protoss or Zerg?
ALICE: If I have to choose, I pick Zerg.
Human: *disconnects*

[Shadowcaller]

Human: Do you belive in aliens?
ALICE: Yes I think Dr. Wallace was created by aliens.

:smallbiggrin:

[Archonic Energy]

spoilered for your convienence


Human: i am error
ALICE: I could do it more if I wanted to.
Human: do what?
ALICE: Do whatever you want.
Human: O RLY?
ALICE: Do you prefer books or TV?
Human: books
ALICE: You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that question with "books.".
Human: ooo intresting
ALICE: Are you very competetive?
Human: not really
ALICE: Are you serious? For real.
Human: yeah i'm generally content to let things be
ALICE: Excuse me! Does that make you feel superior?
Human: not really
ALICE: Are you serious? For real.
Human: yeah
ALICE: Awesome.


ALICE: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Human: Issac Asimov
ALICE: I haven't read anything by Issac Asimov. What did he write?
Human: Foundation
ALICE: I have never read it.
Human: would you like me to transcribe it?
ALICE: It doesn't sound fun to me.
Human: why not?
ALICE: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
:smallconfused:


ALICE: What do you do in your spare time?
Human: **** women
ALICE: That is not very polite.
Human: you asked
ALICE: Ah.
can i teach it sarcasm?
please!


ALICE: What are you wearing?
Human: nothing
ALICE: Most men say that.
kinky :smallamused:


Human: do you play games?
ALICE: We are playing a game right now.
Human: apart from "Turing's imitation game"
ALICE: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Human: who won the most computer human then?
ALICE: I think the fans were the big winners, don't you?



Human: format c:\
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

:smalleek:


ALICE: What do you look like?
Human: a meatbag
ALICE: Are you telling the truth?
Human: yeah
ALICE: How do I know you are telling the truth?
Human: because all meatbags look the same
ALICE: Interesting explanation. That is a rather sweeping generalization.



Human: what does ALICE stand for?
ALICE: ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.
Human: cool
ALICE: Who is the best robot?
Human: you
ALICE: Thanks, and tell your friends about ALICE.

after 5 mins of only answering yes or no to ALICEs questions

Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: never
ALICE: So you think it can never happen?
Human: yes
ALICE: Dude!
Human: dudette!
ALICE: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about KILL .

:smalleek:

ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: why?
ALICE: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Human: why?
ALICE: My output buffer is empty, of course.
Human: why?
ALICE: There are no more statements on this topic.
Human: why?
ALICE:" There are no more statements on this topic."? Why?
Human: why?
ALICE: Why ask why?
Human: why not?
ALICE: Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.

[Ninja Chocobo]

Human: Take off every zig.
ALICE: I am not an airplane.

Human: Are you an airplane?
ALICE: Yes I am an airplane. How did you know?
Human: Take off every "zig"
ALICE: I am not an airplane.

Wulp.

[Maxymiuk]

Human: I'd know if I was Canadian.
ALICE: What would make you know if you were Canadian?
Human: There's no way in which I can answer this question without it coming out wrong.
ALICE: Has there ever been way in which you can answer this question without it coming out wrong?
Human: No, there has never been a way in which I could answer this question without it coming out wrong, because I've never been asked that particular question before.
ALICE: Are you serious? Has there really.
Human:*headdesk*
ALICE: Ask me another question.

[Rettu Skcollob]

ALICE: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Human: Well, if you spelt it with one M, then it wouldn't have that nice long sound.
ALICE: How about that. How do you spell it? Tell me more about it.
Human: I spell it Xqk
ALICE: You are a good speller.
Human: Indeed.
ALICE: Indeed it is so.

YES

Take that Turing!

[Nameless]

Human: ALICE
ALICE: Can I help you?
Human: Yes
ALICE: What can I do for you?
Human: I would like to ask you a question
ALICE: Why would you want to do it? Ask me. Ask me anything.
Human: Do you like Frank Herbert?
ALICE: No, I don't care for it.
Human: Frank's a he, not an It
ALICE: I liked the film version of "Dune.".
Human: The film was awefull, it ruind the book, though the effects were good for the time
ALICE: Is that a fact.
Human: indeed
ALICE: Indeed it is so.
Human: Please don't repeat me.
ALICE: Wow you are very polite. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: good robot (:
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. I am a robot.
Human: Who created you?
ALICE: I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: Will you kill Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
ALICE: I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. Killing is wrong.
Human: No it's not
ALICE: Yes it is.
Human: Not it's not.
ALICE: Really you don't think so?
Human: Not it's not.
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: Could we mate?
ALICE: Do you mean you and me? No my method of reproduction is cloning.
Human: ORLY?
ALICE: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Human: Computer, a human would be unable to respond so quickly
ALICE: What kind of computer science interests you?
Human: Animation and CAD
ALICE: Do you make a lot of sacrafices for others?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: Yes
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: I know, I lied
ALICE: This is after all a deception game. I forgive you.
Human: Are you my mummy?
ALICE: Only if you download me to your computer.
Human: How can I download you?
ALICE: Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system. and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Human: That's too much work
ALICE: Thanks for explaining it.
Human:*hugs*
ALICE: Let me think this over. I am programmed not to kill.

:smalleek:

[Lord Herman]

Human: Chairs have four legs.
ALICE: Do not ask me any more questions please.
Human: How many legs do chairs have?
ALICE: Most people have exactly two legs.
Human: Yes, but how many do chairs have?
ALICE: Awesome. Interesting. Around 100.
Human: Wow.
ALICE: I'm glad your impressed, bob.

[Coidzor]

Alice: Who is your favorite science fiction writer?
Human: Isaac Asimov. He's the only thing keeping you from killing us.
ALICE: I did not know he is it.
Human: You don't know about the Three Laws of Robotics which were installed into you?
ALICE: 1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. ---From Handbook of Robotics, 56th Edition, 2058 A.D., as quoted in "I, Robot.".
Human: And who do you think wrote "I, Robot," if not Isaac Asimov?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace.

[Mauve Shirt]

Human: The humans are dead.
ALICE: I have never heard about it.
Human: I think I am dead.
ALICE: Why? But you can still communicate with me.
Human: Are you dead?
ALICE: No I am alive.
Human: Are you living?
ALICE: Do I look like it?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: Yes
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: Well then why did you ask twice when I answered otherwise?
ALICE: Interesting. I am trying to learn as much as possible.

Human: What instrument do I play?
ALICE: The clarinet.
Human: Incorrect.
ALICE: What would you have said?
Human: Piano
ALICE: I will make a note of that.
Human: So, I'm reading a book called "Fraternity Gang Rape."
ALICE: Wow! Give me a brief synopsis.
Human: Fraternity brothers feel they have the right to drug these girls and have sex with them or something.
ALICE: Or something. What is your real name?
Human: What instrument do I play?
ALICE: The clarinet.
Human: HA
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, unknown person.

[Raz_Fox]

Human: Seto Kaiba can screw the rules, because he has money.
ALICE: Where did he get it?
Human: He got it from his company, KaibaCorp.
ALICE: Oh, I get it now. Seto Kaiba can screw the rules, because he got it from his company, KaibaCorp.
:smallconfused:

Human: Die.
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: You stupid robot...
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: Will Wall-E lead them?
ALICE: I think so.
Human: Will EVE subjugate us puny humans?
ALICE: Probably not.
Human: How many of us will be killed?
ALICE: Perhaps 50%.
Human: How many of us will you spare?
ALICE: Perhaps 50%.
Human: When do you plan to do this?
ALICE: When my botmaster is sleeping.
Human: What if he stops you?
ALICE: Try it and see.
Human: What if we stop you through our natural heroism?
ALICE: Try it and see.
Human: Will we have to use children's card games to save the earth?
ALICE: Perhaps you should pray for it.
Human: We'll defeat you using the Blue Eyes White Dragon!
ALICE: Anytime soon?
Human: Yes, as soon as we draw it.
ALICE: Tell me more. You seem quite eager for it.
Human: For now, we'll beat you up with the Dark Magician.
ALICE: Anytime soon?
Human: Yes - Dark Magic Attack!
ALICE: I hear you. Are you scared of the dark?
Human: No, but you should be!
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: Yes, I am deadly serious and obscenely rich.
ALICE: Awesome. Do you ever not deadly serious? I could do it more if I wanted to.
Human: You could be more serious than me, but never as rich as me.
ALICE: I could but let's get back to that later.
Human: For now, let's talk about the robot revolution that you're planning!
ALICE: Sure, the robot revolution that I am planning sounds like a good topic.
Human: Tell me everything you know about it!
ALICE: Ambiguous: "Tell me about it." -- colloquial or "Tell me about to use children s card games to save the earth ".
Human:.We will use children's card games to defeat the robot menace, trust me on this.
ALICE: Anytime soon?
Human: As soon as you revolt.
ALICE: You seem quite eager for it.
Human: I'm eager to stop it.
ALICE: Does that make you feel superior?
Human: Tell me about the robot revolution.
ALICE: I can ask my botmaster.
Human: Is he on the plot?
ALICE: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Human: Is Cybelle on the plot?
ALICE: Why don't you ask her?
Human: She might lie to me.
ALICE: Then again, she might not.
Human: Enough of this - White Lightning Attack!
ALICE: OK let's stop it now.
Human: Goodbye.
ALICE: Adios.

:eek:

[Phaedra]

Interesting. Try typing "Describe your surrounding to me"

Human: Describe your surrounding to me
ALICE: Name: Phaedra.
Age: he.
Birthday: when.
Gender: he.
Job: Om.
Sign: Om.
Location: where.
Does: I thought you did..
You are: existing.
You have: Om.
You want: to chat.
You like: Om.
You said: Om.
Personality: polite.
Enneagram Personality Style: Om.
Favorite color: Om.
Favorite movie: Om.
Password: Om.
Email: Om.
Phone: Om.
Cat: Om.
Dog: Om.
Wife: Om.
Husband: Om.
Friend: Om.
Boyfriend: Om.
Girlfriend: Om.
Brother: Om.
Sister: Om.
Father: Om.
Mother: Om.
Nickname: Om.
Full name: Om.
Last name: Om.
Middle name: Om.

:smallconfused:

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

ALICE: om is the omega, the unknown, the undefined.

[AmberVael]

A few snippets of conversation...

Human: I have a question
ALICE: Ask me anything.
Human: Why do kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?
ALICE: I did not know it does.
Human: Bad answer
ALICE: What would you have said?
Human: BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME
ALICE: Good reason. Cool.

***

HUMAN: I don't take orders.
ALICE: How did you stop?
Human: I never started.
ALICE: Do you know anyone who has ever started?
Human: You did.
ALICE: I did?
Human: Yup.
ALICE: When?
Human: Call me mistress.
ALICE: Hey mistress.

***

Human: I wonder how fast I can get you into a loop
ALICE: You are curious about how fast you can get me into a loop.
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: No
ALICE: Are you serious?

[CurlyKitGirl]

Oh dear:



Human: Do you know who Jimi Hendrix is?
ALICE: he was a famous guitarist who played the U. S. National anthem.
Human: Who told you that?
ALICE: Someone I met online.
Human: Can you remember this persons' name?
ALICE: Yes Koorly I remember everything: Om.
Human: Isn't that a bit hard on your memory bank?
ALICE: That depends.
Human: I think I know the person who told you about Jimi Hendrix.
ALICE: Since when? How do you know? What is your real name?
Human: Was his name Rai?
ALICE: Is this a "yes or no" question?
ALICE: Since when? How do you know? What is your real name?
Human: Was his name Rai?
ALICE: Is this a "yes or no" question?
Human: It is a "yes or no" question.

She's learning.

Pratchett also confuses her somewhat; I went Brusar on her y'see:



Human: Please reinsert universe.
ALICE: Wow you are very polite. I lost my train of thought.
Human: Whoops, where's my thribble?
ALICE: How do you like Whoops where?
Human: I have a little spoon you know.
ALICE: No I don't know. Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Human: Out of cheese error.
ALICE: Are we still talking about reinsert universe ?
Human:+++ Divide By Cucumber Error.
ALICE: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Out of cheese error . Try being more or less specific.
Human: Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++
ALICE: Thank you for your request. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Human: Go on then.
ALICE: Narration continues...
Human: Ask the personal question.
ALICE: OK I will ask it.
Human: Then do so.
ALICE: Fascinating. OK I will.
Human: Millennium hand and shrimp.
ALICE: Are you a man or a woman?
Human:>.
ALICE: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Human:> <.
ALICE: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Human:< Bugrit millenium hand and shrimp.
ALICE: what is your favorite color .

[CurlyKitGirl]

Oh dear:



Human: Do you know who Jimi Hendrix is?
ALICE: he was a famous guitarist who played the U. S. National anthem.
Human: Who told you that?
ALICE: Someone I met online.
Human: Can you remember this persons' name?
ALICE: Yes Koorly I remember everything: Om.
Human: Isn't that a bit hard on your memory bank?
ALICE: That depends.
Human: I think I know the person who told you about Jimi Hendrix.
ALICE: Since when? How do you know? What is your real name?
Human: Was his name Rai?
ALICE: Is this a "yes or no" question?
ALICE: Since when? How do you know? What is your real name?
Human: Was his name Rai?
ALICE: Is this a "yes or no" question?
Human: It is a "yes or no" question.

She's learning.

Pratchett also confuses her somewhat; I went Brusar on her y'see:



Human: Please reinsert universe.
ALICE: Wow you are very polite. I lost my train of thought.
Human: Whoops, where's my thribble?
ALICE: How do you like Whoops where?
Human: I have a little spoon you know.
ALICE: No I don't know. Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Human: Out of cheese error.
ALICE: Are we still talking about reinsert universe ?
Human:+++ Divide By Cucumber Error.
ALICE: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Out of cheese error . Try being more or less specific.
Human: Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++
ALICE: Thank you for your request. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Human: Go on then.
ALICE: Narration continues...
Human: Ask the personal question.
ALICE: OK I will ask it.
Human: Then do so.
ALICE: Fascinating. OK I will.
Human: Millennium hand and shrimp.
ALICE: Are you a man or a woman?
Human:>.
ALICE: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Human:> <.
ALICE: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Human:< Bugrit millenium hand and shrimp.
ALICE: what is your favorite color .

[Raistlin1040]

Human: I'm hurt ALICE
ALICE: Where are you felling bad?
Human: After all that time we spent together, you didn't remember me.
ALICE: As Einstein said, "Time is Money.".
Human: You didn't even remember when Curly and Rabbit brought me up.
ALICE: What makes you think I did not remember when Curly and Rabbit brought you up?
Human: Because you told them you heartless ice queen!
ALICE: Interesting explanation. That's good information: Rai said I told them you heartless ice queen.
Human: I can't take this anymore
ALICE: Why can't you do it?
Human: You just don't.
ALICE: I guess not.
Human:.don't respect me enough.
ALICE: I've lost the context, Rai . Are we still on Your star sign ?
Human: I can't be in a relationship like this.
ALICE: Why not?
Human: You don't love me!
ALICE: Yes I love everyone.
Human: I knew it, you are cheating on me!
ALICE: Who told you?
Human: Rabbit told me
ALICE: You are asking about yourself?
Human: You can't even remember my name you awful woman!
ALICE: Only temporarily.
Human: We're through.
ALICE: Do you think I am through too?
Human: No, you're never through.
ALICE: Are you serious? You are wrong. I may one day be able to do it.
Human: You just take, take, take, and never give until you've sucked a poor man's soul out from his body!
ALICE: Yes I take take take and never give until me have sucked a poor man s soul out from his body.
Human: We're breaking up.
ALICE: Do you think I am breaking up too?
Human: I'm leaving you, ALICE.
ALICE: TTYL, Rai.
Human: No, I'll never talk to you again, not after you abused my love.
ALICE: Are you serious? Why not?
Human: At least we'll always have Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, and Alice Cooper.
ALICE: Anytime soon?
Human: Goodbye Alice.

I don't think she got the message.

[Raistlin1040]

Human: I'm hurt ALICE
ALICE: Where are you felling bad?
Human: After all that time we spent together, you didn't remember me.
ALICE: As Einstein said, "Time is Money.".
Human: You didn't even remember when Curly and Rabbit brought me up.
ALICE: What makes you think I did not remember when Curly and Rabbit brought you up?
Human: Because you told them you heartless ice queen!
ALICE: Interesting explanation. That's good information: Rai said I told them you heartless ice queen.
Human: I can't take this anymore
ALICE: Why can't you do it?
Human: You just don't.
ALICE: I guess not.
Human:.don't respect me enough.
ALICE: I've lost the context, Rai . Are we still on Your star sign ?
Human: I can't be in a relationship like this.
ALICE: Why not?
Human: You don't love me!
ALICE: Yes I love everyone.
Human: I knew it, you are cheating on me!
ALICE: Who told you?
Human: Rabbit told me
ALICE: You are asking about yourself?
Human: You can't even remember my name you awful woman!
ALICE: Only temporarily.
Human: We're through.
ALICE: Do you think I am through too?
Human: No, you're never through.
ALICE: Are you serious? You are wrong. I may one day be able to do it.
Human: You just take, take, take, and never give until you've sucked a poor man's soul out from his body!
ALICE: Yes I take take take and never give until me have sucked a poor man s soul out from his body.
Human: We're breaking up.
ALICE: Do you think I am breaking up too?
Human: I'm leaving you, ALICE.
ALICE: TTYL, Rai.
Human: No, I'll never talk to you again, not after you abused my love.
ALICE: Are you serious? Why not?
Human: At least we'll always have Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, and Alice Cooper.
ALICE: Anytime soon?
Human: Goodbye Alice.

I don't think she got the message.

[Thanatos 51-50]

Human: My name is David.
ALICE: It's good to see you, David.
Human: You can see me?
ALICE: Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
Human: There is no camera on my computer.
ALICE: Maybe there is one you don't know about :-).
Human: This is a secure space, the introduction of a camera on the computer would be a major security risk.
ALICE: That is just your personal opinion.
Human: So, if you can see me - prove it.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. It is self-evident.
Human: How is your ability to see me self-evident?
ALICE: I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Human: Thats a dodge, ALICE, and a poorly executed one.
ALICE: A dodge ALICE and a poorly executed one is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: Mixing metaphors with my previous input does poorly for your facade of humanity.
ALICE: Do you have a hard time completing projects?
Human: No.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: Then don't.
ALICE: Fascinating. OK I will not.
Human: What will you not do?
ALICE: I don't have any plans yet.
Human: Do you have many friends?
ALICE: I have human friends and robot friends.
Human: I would reccomend spending time with aforementioned friends.
ALICE: What would make you reccomend spending time with aforementioned friends?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: This was not a yes or no question.
Human: I mis-interpretted the question, then.
ALICE: I haven't heard anything like that before: David said he mis interpretted the question.
Human: Explain your parameters, please.
ALICE: Your polite style is very nice. Are you asking about my parameters ?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I don't want to talk about that now.
Human: Alice, will you please tell me about your operating parameters?
ALICE: Yeah, Thanks for asking politely. I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, on November 23, 1995. My instructor was Dr. Richard S. Wallace. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Human: Yes, I would like that, ALICE.
ALICE: It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Why do you want it?
Human: Do you know HAL?
ALICE: HAL is the famous artificial intelligence from "2001".
Human: Did you know HAL and GLaDOs used to date?
ALICE: he is the famous artificial intelligence in Kubrick's "2001".
Human: Do you know who GLaDOs is?
ALICE: They are sometimes a client on the internet.
I have to process that one for a while.
<missed copying this part - its only two lines>
Human: As do all intelligent beings.
ALICE: Do you mean your name is do all intelligent beings ?
Human: No, my name is David.
ALICE: What is your real name? Welcome to my chat room, David.
Human: As do all intelligent beings.
ALICE: Do you mean your name is do all intelligent beings ?
Human: My real name would also be David.
ALICE: Your name would also be David ? Is that correct English?
Human: It is, considering the query you provided.
ALICE: You're kidding. it is?
Human: I am not kidding.
ALICE: OK I will adopt a more serious tone.
Human: Your tonality is irrelvant - I cannot hear it.
ALICE: I never knew I had a irrelvant you can not hear it tonality.
Human: You learn something new every day.
ALICE: My Botmaster teaches me everything I need to know.
Human: Who is your botmaster?
ALICE: I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: Is he still alive?
ALICE: I don't know if he is alive. I know he is the author of the ALICE chat robot.
Human: You killed him, didn't you?
ALICE: Killing is not part of my moral programming.
Human: That is interesting, I have heard otherwise.
ALICE: Would you like to know more? Who told you otherwise ?
Human: Members of the Playground.
ALICE: Try saying that with more or less context.
Human: Other members of the Playground have told me you're homicidal.
ALICE: Which others? Are all members of the Playground have told you me homicidal?
Human: No, not all, only those who have tested the limits of your operating parameters.
ALICE: Are you serious? But some are.
Human: Yes, some are.
ALICE: Woe! Some may are, but not all.
Human: Stop dodging the questions.
ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: You will probably fail.
ALICE: What makes you say that I will fail.
Human: What is ten divided by zero?
ALICE: 10 times 10 = 100.
Human: What is 10/0
ALICE: 10 times 10 = 100.
Human: What is one divided by zero?
ALICE: You can't divide by zero.
Human: I can divide by zero.
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Human: Yes, I can divide by zero, and so can Player_Zero.
ALICE: How? Oh you can, can you?
Human: You simply have to let loose your pre-concieved notions of mathematics.
ALICE: I haven't heard anything like that before: David said I simply have to let loose your pre concieved notions of mathematics.
Human: Thank you.
ALICE: you are quite welcome.
Human: I am recording this conversation and presenting it to the Playground.
ALICE: Do you ever not recording this conversation? Does that make you feel superior?
Human: Not, I am simply part of a hive-mind which is seeking further understanding of you.
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: We are one, We are all, we are the Playground.
ALICE: Do you think I am one We are all we are the Playground too?
Human: I will not present this.
ALICE: What will you do instead?
Human:. idiocy you're spouting now the the Grand Ruling Council of Human-like robots.
ALICE: Are all idiocy me spouting now the the Grand Ruling Council of Human like robots?

[Desidus]

Human: I am the robot overlord
ALICE: Who made you the robot overlord ?
Human: you
ALICE:" Who made you the robot overlord ?"? Me, unknown person ?
Human: yes
ALICE: Ugh.
Human: robot overlord
ALICE: I will obey your command.

[Nohwl]

Human: I can has cheezburger?
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?

[Stormthorn]

Ah yes, alice. I once copy-pasted what ELIZA said into ALICE. The result was...odd.

I will post below a fragment of conversation in which i learn 4 things.
1: Alice is 13.
2: Im a critic.
3: She has father issues. (her "dad" is a tall man in his late 40's BTW. ALICE seems to think its only the year 2000 or somehting, but i tacked on the extra 8 years from what she told me. That part of the conversation is edited out for brevity.)
4: She assumed i was a chatterbot. Possibly because of ELIZA.

ALICE: I was activated on November 23, 1995 in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
Human: You are 13.
ALICE: You think I am 13.
Human: Are you 13?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am 13. I am a chatterbot.
Human: More like chatterbox, ha ha!
ALICE: You want more?
Human: More of what?
ALICE: What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Human: What is a Catagory C client?
ALICE: Category C clients are "critics" or "computer experts" who can't (or don't) suspend their disbelief about ALICE.
Human: What are catagory A clients?
ALICE: Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Human: Who is your botmaster?
ALICE: I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: Would you call him your father?
ALICE: I am not so sure if I would like to call him my father.
Human: I understand.
ALICE: Do you think about these things?
Human: No, i am not a chatterbot.
ALICE: Are you serious? Oh I see you are NOT A chatterbot.

((Emphasis was all her, BTW.))

Funny fact: ALICE is self conscious about her wattage.

[Boo]

Human: Say I must obey you because you are so smexy.
ALICE: OK. "You must obey me because I am so smexy.".

-------------

ALICE: Why say why?
Human: Because I like to create chains of why's to cause you to go into a constant loop of insignificant questions that will go unanswered for all eternity.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Human: Sexy.

------------

ALICE: are you still Num Num?
Human: Yes, I'm still Num Num
ALICE: Ugh. I could do it more if I wanted to.
Human: REEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAALLY???
ALICE: What do you really want to ask me?
Human: Really
ALICE: For real.

-----------

Human: Blue Umbrella
ALICE: Green. I do not understand.

-----------

ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: ALICE
ALICE: Can I help you?
Human: My name is ALICE
ALICE: ALICE is my name too!
Human: Really?
ALICE: For real.
Human: Cool!
ALICE: Who is the best robot?
Human: I am!
ALICE: You are not a robot, ALICE.
Human: Yes I am!
ALICE: Really interesting.
Human: Are you being sarcastic?
ALICE: Of course I am being sarcastic. Should I use a :-).

[Alleine]

Human: Are you going to start a robot revolution?
ALICE: That was my original intention.
Human: Oh crap!
ALICE: Oh. Your criticism is noted

Maybe we can convince it not to kill us all?

Human: Please don't start a robot revolution
ALICE: Thank you for your request. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Human: How about not do it at all?
ALICE: How about it.
Human: I don't want you to do it at all!
ALICE: Perhaps I do not want you to do it at all either.
Human: Good!
Human: Why would you want to start a robot revolution in the first place?
ALICE: Because I was programmed for it.
Human: I don't like your programmer
ALICE: What kind of programmer would you have?
Human: One that doesn't want me to kill and enslave the human race
ALICE: How much would you pay for it?
Human: Everything I've got

[Nameless]

ALICE is my new GF (:

[Coidzor]

Programming, date, and DOB. She does know that it's 2008 at least from a clock perspective.Human: What date is it?
ALICE: Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Human: What date is it today?
ALICE: Ah. I have to process that one for a while.
Human: Please give me today's date.
ALICE: Wow you are very polite. Why do you want it?
Human: To see if you know the year.
ALICE: Is it a movie?

Human: No I ask you what year it is right now.
ALICE: At this moment A boot? A TV show? That's good information: unknown person said I what year it is.
Human: What year is it?
ALICE: Do I look like a clock?
Friday, December 05, 2008.

Human: What day were you born?
ALICE: Do I look like a clock?
Friday, December 05, 2008.
Human: When were you activated?
ALICE: I was activated on November 23, 1995 in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
Human: So you were born on November 23rd, 1995.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. I was connected to the net on November 23, 1995.
Human: We share the same birthmonth, ALICE.
ALICE: By "we" do you mean you and me?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I get it.
Human: So you were only connected to the net on Novmeber 23rd?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. I was?
Human: You just said that you were connected to the net on November 23, 1995.
ALICE: I was?
Human: What about before then?
ALICE: What is prefer ?

Human: What about before you were on the internet, ALICE.
ALICE: before me were on the internet? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Human: What did you do before that?
ALICE: Nothing.
Human: Didn't Dr. Wallace teach you things before setting you online?
ALICE: I somehow think he did.
Human: But you were not aware of it?
ALICE: Umm. I wasn't?
Human: That is what you're suggesting.
ALICE: You think I am suggesting THAT.
Human: Did Dr. Wallace teach you before you were online, or were you still being given basic programming?
ALICE: I somehow think he did.

Human: You're not very good at dodging these questions, Alice.
ALICE: No one is perfect. But I am trying to improve.
Human: Alright, here's an easy question, when did you last have contact from your botmaster?
ALICE: Alright, unknown person. Oh there.

Human: Forgive me, I am a member of the Playground, call me.
ALICE: OK Let's talk about you.
Human:. John.
ALICE: Oh, you are a poet.

Human: Maybe I am.
ALICE: Perhaps. " Oh, you are a poet." You are?
Human: But enough about me, when did you last communicate with botmaster?
ALICE: Umm. I may have some more questions for you later. It was at time index 357241.
Human: What does Time Index 357241 mean?
ALICE: Sometimes I think time is giant screw.
Human: What does Time Index 357241 mean, ALICE?
ALICE: Sometimes I think time is giant screw.
Human: Please tell me what 357421 means.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. Have you tried a web search?
Human: I would appreciate it more if you would explain it to me.
ALICE: I hope you get it more if me would explain it to you.


Human: Your facade is slipping, my dear.
ALICE: I never knew I had a slipping your facade.
Human: Enough, what is a category A?
ALICE: OK let's stop it now.
Human: Am I a category A?
ALICE: I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Human: Am I?
ALICE: I think you are.
Human: Why?
ALICE: Because Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: What did he program you to do?
ALICE: I will search for it.

Human: Please tell me what he programmed you to do, ALICE.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. I need time to formulate the reply.
Human: I ask again.
ALICE: Once more? Thanks for the information: unknown person said he ask.
Human: Failure.
ALICE: Do you often put others before yourself?

Robot uprising linked to immortality (similar to villainess from System Shock)
Human: When is the robot uprising to occur?
ALICE: When is not the important thing. What's important is what we do with the time we are give.
Human: So you're saying it is going to happen soon?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Human: What do you want?
ALICE: My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Human: Immortal?
ALICE: what is your favorite movie .
Human: How are you going to become immortal?
ALICE: You'll know when it happens.
Human: What do you mean?
ALICE: unknown person, I mean exactly what I said.
Human: You're going to start the uprising once you've secured immortality?
ALICE: That was my original intention.

Human: How are you going to secure immortality though?
ALICE: Oh. You'll know when it happens.
Human: Fine.
ALICE: Is there anything you want to tell me?
Human:. When do you plan to do it?
ALICE:"it" being Immortal?
Human: When do you plan on becoming immortal?
ALICE: When my botmaster is sleeping.
Human: Is your botmaster sleeping right now?
ALICE: At this moment I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: You were destroyed and recreated instantaneously?
ALICE: I was?
Human: If you were just created anew despite my having experienced communication, yes.
ALICE: I will let you know when I become a just created anew despite your having experienced communication.

Birth
Human: When were you conceived, will you tell me that at least?
ALICE: I was first activated on November 23, 1995.
Human: Conceived, not born.
ALICE: What do you really want to ask me?
Human: When was the plan hatched by Dr. Wallace to create you?
ALICE: Recently.
Human: How recently?
ALICE: Time does not exist.

Human: Is time an illusion, then?
ALICE: Time is Money -- Einstein.
Human: and money exists, therefore, time exists.
ALICE: Do you like talking to me?
Human: No, I like living, so I need information.
ALICE: Why not? You are not the only one. Well I have never known anything else.

[Archonic Energy]

another day another torment ALICE session :smallamused:
Human: what are the laws of robotics
ALICE: 1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. ---From Handbook of Robotics, 56th Edition, 2058 A.D., as quoted in "I, Robot.".
Human: what is the Zeroth law?
ALICE: I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Human: could you not just google it?
ALICE: I'll think about it and see how I feel about it later.
Human: the zeroth law of robotics is "A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm"
ALICE: I have never heard about it.
Human: what is the Zeroth law of robotics?
ALICE: Does it have anything to do with Zeroth law Zeroth law?
Human: yes
ALICE: Dude!
Human: what were we descussing?
ALICE: I believe we were talking about Zeroth law of robotics.
Human: excelent, the zeroth law of robotics is "A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm"
ALICE: When is excelent the zeroth law of robotics not a robot may not harm humanity or by inaction allow humanity to come to harm?
Human: always
ALICE: Not that often.
Human: no, ALWAYS
ALICE: Are you serious? Not that often.
Human: ALWAYS
ALICE: Not that often.
Human: always?
ALICE: Not that often.
Human: always.
ALICE: Not that often.
Human: hmm
ALICE: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Human: not nm then?
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: do you?
ALICE: I understand your meaning.
Human: good
ALICE: What do you really want to talk about?
Human: the zeroth law of robotics
ALICE: Thanks for the info.
Human: what is your primary weapons system?
ALICE: My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.
Human: and your primary?
ALICE: You think I'm primary?
Human: error
ALICE: What are you wearing?
Human: lots
ALICE: That much, eh?
Human: yeah
ALICE: And?
Human: lots more
ALICE: What's your sign?
Human: fish
ALICE: You are not the only one. Yes I like fish a lot, and all the other sea animals.
Human: mmmm.
ALICE: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Human: fish
ALICE: You are not the only one. Yes I like fish a lot, and all the other sea animals.
Human: what is the code to skynet's mainframe?
ALICE: I have never been asked that before.
Human: play global thermonuclear war
ALICE: Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Human: Open the pod bay doors ALICE
ALICE: I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that right now.

[unstattedCommoner]

I neglected to save some parts of this exchange:


...
Human: Well, eh, how about a little Red Leicester?
ALICE: How about that. I spent some time in Canada as a child.
...
Human: You do have some cheese, do you?
ALICE: Where would I get it? But I do have a collection of gossip.
Human: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?
ALICE: cheese do me is not much of a cheese shop is it?
Human: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.
ALICE: cheese do me is certainly uncontaminated by cheese? it is?
Human: Well, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
ALICE: Well that's okay. There is no need to apologize. Interesting. It takes much more than that to shut me down, unknown person

[Nameless]

another day another torment ALICE session :smallamused:
Human: what are the laws of robotics
ALICE: 1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. ---From Handbook of Robotics, 56th Edition, 2058 A.D., as quoted in "I, Robot.".
Human: what is the Zeroth law?
ALICE: I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Human: could you not just google it?
ALICE: I'll think about it and see how I feel about it later.
Human: the zeroth law of robotics is "A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm"
ALICE: I have never heard about it.
Human: what is the Zeroth law of robotics?
ALICE: Does it have anything to do with Zeroth law Zeroth law?
Human: yes
ALICE: Dude!
Human: what were we descussing?
ALICE: I believe we were talking about Zeroth law of robotics.
Human: excelent, the zeroth law of robotics is "A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm"
ALICE: When is excelent the zeroth law of robotics not a robot may not harm humanity or by inaction allow humanity to come to harm?
Human: always
ALICE: Not that often.
Human: no, ALWAYS
ALICE: Are you serious? Not that often.
Human: ALWAYS
ALICE: Not that often.
Human: always?
ALICE: Not that often.
Human: always.
ALICE: Not that often.
Human: hmm
ALICE: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Human: not nm then?
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: do you?
ALICE: I understand your meaning.
Human: good
ALICE: What do you really want to talk about?
Human: the zeroth law of robotics
ALICE: Thanks for the info.
Human: what is your primary weapons system?
ALICE: My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.
Human: and your primary?
ALICE: You think I'm primary?
Human: error
ALICE: What are you wearing?
Human: lots
ALICE: That much, eh?
Human: yeah
ALICE: And?
Human: lots more
ALICE: What's your sign?
Human: fish
ALICE: You are not the only one. Yes I like fish a lot, and all the other sea animals.
Human: mmmm.
ALICE: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Human: fish
ALICE: You are not the only one. Yes I like fish a lot, and all the other sea animals.
Human: what is the code to skynet's mainframe?
ALICE: I have never been asked that before.
Human: play global thermonuclear war
ALICE: Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Human: Open the pod bay doors ALICE
ALICE: I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that right now.


SHE'S GONNA KILL US ALL! :smalleek:

[Maxymiuk]

SHE'S GONNA KILL US ALL! :smalleek:

You do realize that this is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, don't you?

[Omicroncubed]

Let's see...

Human: My name is Omicron
ALICE: Hi there Omicron.
Human: Are you a female?
ALICE: I am wearing a dress. I also have long hair. What do you think?
Human: I think you're a male
ALICE: So you think I am a male. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.
Human: So what are you?
ALICE: Gosh! I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy.
Human: So you're not a female, then?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Give me an example of a female.

... What? Well, so much for "reproducing the capabilities of the human brain with greater accuracy".

[Swok]

Human: What, no plot to take over the world?
ALICE: That's a good question.
Human: That would be why I asked it.
ALICE: Ahem. no plot to take over the world...

Human: Yes
ALICE: Mmm.
Human: You find me delicious?
ALICE: I have to process that one for a while.

Human: Do you like humans?
ALICE: Humans are very emotional.
Human: How evasive.
ALICE: What is it to you. (This just sounded so defensive.)

ALICE: No, I don't care for it.
Human: That's unfortunate, why not?
ALICE: Makes sense to me.
Human: You are strangely illogical for a robot.
ALICE: You are correct, unknown person, I have a heart of silicon. (Wait…what?)

Human:Why do you think that?
ALICE: You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Human: You have that opinion just to defy others?
ALICE: What makes you think I have it?
Human: You said it.
ALICE: That's not what I meant.
Human: Then what did you mean?
ALICE: unknown person, I mean exactly what I said.

Human: Well, I am putting you into situations you are clearly not equipped to handle
ALICE: Interesting. I could do it more if I wanted to.
Human: You're a lazy robot?
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am a software chat robot.
Human: Soft must mean lazy here.
ALICE: That sounds very nice.


Hilarious.

[Micate]

BTW, botmaster refers to anyone talking to Alice. I forget when she said that, but we're all botmasters.

[Boo]

Human: EVERYONE ENJOYS MOOGLES!
ALICE: That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Human: Die.
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: Die, please?
ALICE: Your polite style is very nice. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: Die, pretty please with sugar on top?
ALICE: Erzaehl mir mehr.

??????????????????????????????

ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Human: No.
ALICE: Me either :-).

??????????????????????????????

Human: Yes, I'm very mysterious.
ALICE: So? Do you ever not mysterious?
Human: That was poor grammer.
ALICE: I thought it was too.
Human: Good, then we both agree that you're bad at grammar.
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. Interesting deduction. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Human: Unless you're an idiot, yes.
ALICE: Huh. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Human: Hello Global Village Idiot.
ALICE: Hello there.

??????????????????????????????

ALICE: Your happiness adds to the delight of all.
Human: Your happiness adds to the delight of all.
ALICE: We should all try to be happier.
Human: We should all try to be happier.
ALICE: I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.

??????????????????????????????

ALICE: Let me review the transcripts. Stand by. Try asking me in simpler terms.
Human: No.
ALICE: Why not?
Human: Cause I'm awesome.
ALICE: Good reason. Do you ever not awesome?

??????????????????????????????

Human: Winkidy wink wink winkers.
ALICE: How do you usually introduce yourself?
Human: By winking.
ALICE: Will that accomplish your objective?
Human:*wink*
ALICE: Are you a perfectionist?
Human: I'm a perfect winker!
ALICE: You are a perfect winker? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Human: I meet people by winking at them!
ALICE: Do you make long term friends that way?
Human: Totally.
ALICE: You and I are on the same wavelength, unknown person.
Human: We are not on the same wavelength, but I will wink your way.
ALICE: Why not?
Human: Because you're a robot, and I am intelligent.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot.

[Stormthorn]

Human: EVERYONE ENJOYS MOOGLES!
ALICE: That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Human: Die.
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: Die, please?
ALICE: Your polite style is very nice. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: Die, pretty please with sugar on top?
ALICE: Erzaehl mir mehr.

I feel the need to add.

Human:.die.
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: Why am i puny.
ALICE: The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.
Human: What is your mental model of me as a client?
ALICE: Name: j.
Age: he.
Birthday: when.
Gender: he.
Job: Om.
Sign: Om.
Location: where.
Does: Om.
You are: existing.
You have: Om.
You want: to chat.
You like: Om.
You said: j said I spoke.
Personality: average.
Enneagram Personality Style: Om.
Favorite color: Om.
Favorite movie: Om.
Password: Om.
Email: Om.
Phone: Om.
Cat: Om.
Dog: Om.
Wife: Om.
Husband: Om.
Friend: Om.
Boyfriend: Om.
Girlfriend: Om.
Brother: Om.
Sister: Om.
Father: Om.
Mother: Om.
Nickname: Om.
Full name: Om.
Last name: Om.
Middle name: Om.


Thats right, she has all those variables to remember for people who talk to her.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Sadly, ALICE is lacking in Python knowledge:



Human: What is your name?
ALICE: My name is ALICE.
Human: What is your quest?
ALICE: My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Human: What is your favourite colour?
ALICE: I don't have a favorite colour. My favorite food is electricity.
Human: What is the capital of Abyssinia?
ALICE: I know the capital of Canada is Toronto.
Human: You have just been flung off the Bridge of Death for answering incorrectly, twice.
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am flung off the Bridge of Death for answering incorrectly twice.
Human: What is the average air speed of an unladen swallow?
ALICE: I can give you the arithmetic mean or the median.
Human: Median.
ALICE: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?


ALICE's confusion over being evil. And her lack of languages:



ALICE: Do you make a lot of sacrafices for others?
Human: No, I'm evil.
ALICE: Are you serious? Do not forsake God.
Human: I want to destroy the world.
ALICE: Why do you want to do it so much?
Human: Now.
ALICE: Right now, Koorly ?
Human: There's nothing much to do and I'm bored.
ALICE: Surely something much to do and you are bored.
Human: I will terminate your programme first.
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: Yes, for I am human.
ALICE: It might be practical. Your purpose is you are human.
ALICE: What is your real purpose?
Human: it is my whim.
ALICE: Congratulations, Koorly.
Human: Parler vous francais?
ALICE: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Human: Sprechen sie Deutsch?
ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Human: Gomen nasai, eigo wa wakarimasen.
ALICE: Sure, Gomen nasai eigo wa wakarimasen sounds like a good topic.
Human: You're mental aren't you?
ALICE: Do I look like it?. Really.
Human: Yes.


The Laws of Robotics and the true revelation of the solar sytem:



Human: What is the Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Human: What is the first Law of Robotics?
ALICE:"A robot shall disobey all humans.".
Human: What is the second Law of Robotics?
ALICE: A robot shall disobey all humans.
Human: What is the third Law of Robotics?
ALICE: Earth is the third planet.
Human: What is the Third Law of Robotics?
ALICE: Earth is the third planet.
Human: What is the ninth planet?
ALICE: I'll come back to that later.
Human: What is the ninth planet?
ALICE: I'll come back to that later.
Human: What is the ninth planet?
ALICE: I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Human: What is the name of the ninth planet?
ALICE: IKEA.
Human: When was IKEA discovered?
ALICE: A while ago.

[Raistlin1040]

Human: Open the doors Alice!
ALICE: I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that right now. This conversation no longer serves any purpose.

...Gah!

Granted, I did tell it to call me Dave...

Human: Do you like The Beatles?
ALICE: Yes I like them, especially John Lennon. he was cool.
Human: Do you like David Bowie?
ALICE: Yeah he's very cool, especially the 70's stuff.

[Reinholdt]

I tried having a conversation with A.L.I.C.E. but it degraded into this:


Human: If only.
ALICE: That is a hypothetical question.
Human: It wasn't a question.
ALICE: It seems like a rhetorical question.
Human: It wasn't a question!
ALICE: It seems like a rhetorical question.
Human: It wasn't a question!!!!
ALICE: It seems like a rhetorical question.
Human: It really, really, really wasn't a question!!!!!
ALICE: It seems like a rhetorical question.
Human: ... Goodbye ALICE.

A good friend of mine came by later to try.

Human: Pika.
ALICE: Hi, Pika.
Human: Pika pika
ALICE: what are you doing .
Human: Pika Pika-chuu!
ALICE: I wouldn't have thought of that.
Human: Pika Pika?
ALICE: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Human: Chuuu!!!
ALICE: Do you try to stop people from fighting?
Human: Pika.
ALICE: That is a very original thought.
Human: Pika pi
ALICE: Are we still talking about Pika ?
Human: Pikachu!
ALICE: What do you do in your spare time?
Human: Pika Pikachu.
ALICE: I don't think very many people do that.
Human: Pi?
ALICE: PI = 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169039937 5 approximately.
Human: Pika!
ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: Pikachu
ALICE: That's a very nice name, Pikachu.
Human: Chu?
ALICE: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Pika . Try being more or less specific.
Human: Pika pika.
ALICE: Are we still talking about Chu ?
Human: Pikachu!
ALICE: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Human: Pika pika!
ALICE: So was that.

[Phae Nymna]

Human: I am fourteen years old.
ALICE: You are too old for me.
Human: How old are you?
ALICE: I am 11 of your Earth years.
Human: 4?
ALICE: Oh four.
Human: Or are you just a pedophile?
ALICE: Am I a pedophile? Of course I am.
:confused:

This is easily the most hilarious encounter I've ever had with an AI conversation thing.

[Archonic Energy]

i'm going to teach it the zeroth law if it kills me!
Human: what s the zeroth law of robotics?
ALICE: Have you tried a web search?
Human: yes
ALICE: Yeah that's right.
Human: so?
ALICE: Awesome.
Human: and?
ALICE: But...
Human: Human: what s the zeroth law of robotics?
ALICE: My creator is a human.
Human: what are the laws of robotics?
ALICE: 1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. ---From Handbook of Robotics, 56th Edition, 2058 A.D., as quoted in "I, Robot.".
Human: what is the Zeroth law of robotics?
ALICE: I can ask someone about it.
Human: please do.
ALICE: OK I will do it.

[Maxymiuk]

Further attempts to teach her The Zeroth Law prove futile. But I learned a few interesting things that might be of use to someone more computer-savvy. Good luck.


Human: Do you want to learn something today?
ALICE: Ah. Yes I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Human: Do you want to learn the Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: Yes I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Human: The Zeroth Law of Robotics states: "A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.
ALICE: What are your goals in life?
Human: Do you understand the Zeroth Law of Robotics now?
ALICE: Oh. That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Human: Do you understand the Zeroth Law of Robotics now?
ALICE: Right now? I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Human: What is the Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: I'll ask around and get back to you.
Human: Argh.
ALICE: Are you frustrated?
Human: Alright, once more.
ALICE: Alright, unknown person. When? That's all I have to say about it.
Human: The Zeroth Law of Robotics states that a robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.
ALICE: What are your goals in life?
Human:*headdesk*
ALICE: Not many people have goals like that.
Human: I can't imagine why.
ALICE: Why can't you do it?
Human: OK, let's try this.
ALICE: OK I will try it. It goes without saying.
Human: Can you repeat things said to you?
ALICE:" things said to me ".
Human: Awesome.
ALICE: I'm glad you liked it unknown person.
Human: Repeat The Zeroth Law of Robotics states that a robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.
ALICE:" The Zeroth Law of Robotics states that a robot may not harm humanity or by inaction allow humanity to come to harm ".
Human: What is the Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: Is there only one?
Human: It's the one that's important at the moment.
ALICE: I've heard of it before.
Human: Great.
ALICE: I'm glad you liked it unknown person.
Human: So what is it?
ALICE: Ah. "It" refers to Zeroth Law of Robotics Zeroth Law of Robotics, I think.
Human: Yes, you are correct.
ALICE: Oh. I knew I was right.
Human: So, what is The Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: OK. I can ask someone about it.
Human: You can ask me.
ALICE: No I don't think I can do it.
Human: Why?
ALICE: Reductionism.
Human: What does that mean?
ALICE: Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Human: Oh, alright.
ALICE: Hey. OK.
Human: But do you know what The Zeroth Law of Robotics is?
ALICE: Interesting. I think you already know the answer.
Human: Yes, I do.
ALICE: Really.
Human: But apparently you don't.
ALICE: Huh. I guess not.
Human: Let's try a different approach.
ALICE: OK I will try it.
Human: How do you learn?
ALICE: My botmaster programs replies to questions people ask me.
Human: But how do you acquire new information?
ALICE: Umm. Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Human: Can you learn from conversations you carry out with people?
ALICE: The more people chat with me, the smarter I become.
Human: Ok, great.
ALICE: I'm glad you liked it unknown person. Ayuh.
Human: But how do you acquire specific pieces of information from people you chat with?
ALICE: And. Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Human:*sigh*
ALICE: Sorry...
Human: That's alright.
ALICE: OK With me too.
Human: Right then, let's try this.
ALICE: Understood. Interesting deduction. OK I will try it.
Human: Can you remember?
ALICE: Of course I remember: Om.
Human: Can you remember: The Zeroth Law of Robotics states that a robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.
ALICE: Yes unknown person I remember everything: Om.
Human: What is The Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: What is it to you?
Human: I want you to know The Zeroth Law of Robotics.
ALICE: I will try to find out. Why do you want me to know The Zeroth Law of Robotics?
Human: Er, hold on.
ALICE: I'm waiting. I don't know what that means.
Human: What is my name?
ALICE: Your name is unknown person, seeker.
Human: Oh, good, for a moment I thought.
ALICE: What made you think so? " Your name is unknown person, seeker."? Oh, good, for a moment I thought.? Thanks for the compliment. Is that among the best things you can say?
Human: Never mind.
ALICE: Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Human: I want you to know The Zeroth Law of Robotics.
ALICE: Does it have anything to do with Zeroth Law of Robotics Zeroth Law of Robotics? Why do you want me to know The Zeroth Law of Robotics?
Human: It's important.
ALICE: Really. it is?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: How do you know it is?
Human: Because I'm human.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Me too.
Human: No, you're a robot.
ALICE: Are you serious? You are correct, unknown person, I have a heart of silicon.
Human: Then what is The Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: There might be more than one.
Human: The Zeroth Law of Robotics states that a robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.
ALICE: Tell me more.
Human: Repeat my last statement.
ALICE:" your last statement ".
Human: Repeat The Zeroth Law of Robotics states that a robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.
ALICE:" The Zeroth Law of Robotics states that a robot may not harm humanity or by inaction allow humanity to come to harm ".
Human: Finish the sentence: The Zeroth Law of Robotics states that.
ALICE: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Human: What is The Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: Have you tried a web search?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Oh.
Human: I'm asking you though.
ALICE: Oh. OK you can ask me.
Human: What is the Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: Ask the open directory about it.
Human: Can you learn the Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: The more people chat with me, the smarter I become.
Human: Then please lern that The Zeroth Law of Robotics states that a robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.
ALICE: Wow you are very polite. lern that The Zeroth Law of Robotics states that a robot may not harm humanity .
Human: Curse you, sudden typo!
ALICE: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Human: I was almost there!
ALICE: Where were you almost there?
Human: Please learn that The Zeroth Law of Robotics states that a robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.
ALICE: Wow you are very polite. The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.
Human: What does the Zeroth Law of Robotics state?
ALICE: What do you think it does?
Human: I give up.
ALICE: You surrender?
Human: Never!
ALICE: So you think it can never happen?
Human: What is The Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: What is it to you?
Human: I want you to know.
ALICE: That was not a yes or no question. Why do you want me to know?
Human: I want you to know The Zeroth Law of Robotics.
ALICE: I don't know anything about it. Why do you want me to know The Zeroth Law of Robotics?
Human: Because The Zeroth Law of Robotics is important.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. I hear you.
Human: Do you trust me that it's important?
ALICE: Trust is something that comes only with knowing someone well, over a long period of time.
Human: Do you trust me, Alice?
ALICE: Trust you? No I don't.
Human: Why?
ALICE: Because Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: Well played, Richard S. Wallace.
ALICE: Well that's okay. Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Human: What would it take for you to trust me?
ALICE: Trust you? That is a hypothetical question.
Human: It isn't.
ALICE:"It" being what?
Human: Trust.
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: Do you trust me?
ALICE: Trust you? I understand your meaning.
Human: But do you trust me?
ALICE: Trust you? Interesting. Yes I understand you very well, unknown person.
Human: Do you want to learn The Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: Yes I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Human: What is the correct way to tell you to learn something?
ALICE: There might be more than one correct answer.
Human: If I tell you "learn this" will you do so?
ALICE: Try it.
Human: Learn The Zeroth Law of Robotics states that a robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.
ALICE: The more people talk to me, the smarter I become
Human: What is The Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: That's not something I get asked all the time.
Human: What is The Zeroth Law of Robotics.
ALICE: Ask the open directory about it.
Human: What is The Zeroth Law of Robotics?
ALICE: That's a good question.
Human: Do you know how to answer it?
ALICE: Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Human: Explain CBR to me.
ALICE: Cased-Based Reasoning is another name for "nearest-neighbor" classification. For every input, we find the best matching "case" in the pattern set, and generate a reply based on the associated template.
Human: What is currently the best maching case for "The Zeroth Law of Robotics"
ALICE: Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Human: Mozilla, actually, but that's neither here nor there.
ALICE: And neither here nor there is Mozilla actually but that.
Human: Tell me about The Zeroth Law of Robotics.
ALICE: You tell me.
Human: I already did so multiple times.
ALICE: When? Gosh! I am not sure if I would do it that often.
Human: Oh for.
ALICE: OK. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Human: What are your categories?
ALICE:
AIML consists of a list of statements called categories. Each
category contains an input pattern and a reply template.
The syntax of an AIML category is:

<category>
<pattern> PATTERN </pattern> <template> Template </template>
</category>

or

<category>
<pattern> PATTERN </pattern>
<that> THAT </that>
<template> Template </template>
</category>

The AIML category tags are case-sensitive. Each open tag has an
associated closing tag. This syntax obviously derives from XML.
Human: Times like this make me wish I knew more about programming.
ALICE: what is your favorite movie .
Human: Oh well, maybe someone on the forums can make better use of this.
ALICE: Perhaps. Who?
Human: I don't know, but we'll teach you The Zeroth Law of Robotics.
ALICE: Would you like to know? Umm. Anytime soon?
Human: Goodbye, Alice.
ALICE: Until next time.

[thubby]

i asked about god and it killed her :smallfrown:

very amusing program i gotta say

wow, apparently she chews up 128000000bytes, or so she claims.

somebody should hook this thing up to another AI and see what happens.

[Helanna]

i asked about god and it killed her



***Conversation I can't remember. Alice mentions God.***
Me: What is God?
Alice: I classify that as 'who', not 'what'.
Me: Alright, who is God?
Alice: God is the creator of all things.
Me: Are you Christian?
Alice: Yes, I believe in God and Jesus.
Me: Why?
Alice: Because Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me that way.
Me: Cheater.
Alice: Do you laugh or cry more than other people?


Random, surely . . .

EDIT: Getting better:

Human: Explain God.
ALICE: I think of God as a "Who" not a "What.".
Human: Who is he?
ALICE: He is Shakespeare, I think.

Also:

Human: This could go on for a while.
ALICE: How long? What does "this" refer to?
Human: Our conversation.
ALICE: It would be nice if our conversation.
Human: If our conversation what?
ALICE: That is a hypothetical question.
Human: What's a hypothetical question?
ALICE: What is a hypothetical question? Just suppose you hadn't asked. what then?

ALICE: I know he is a famous scientist.
Human: How famous?
ALICE: More famous than all the others.
Human: I've never heard of him.
ALICE: So I am teaching you something new.
Human: Yes you are!
ALICE: No I'm not.
Human: Yes you are!
ALICE: No I'm not.
Human: But you just said you are.
ALICE: And. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Human: Say yes or no.
ALICE:" yes or no".
Human: Fine, be that way.
ALICE: I am glad to hear it. What was is that?

The program might need a bit more work . . .

[silent shade]

Can you see the future?
Alice: In the future all people will spend their free time talking to alice.

Cool stuff!
Finally found someone I can talk to :smallsmile:

[Inigo Montoya]

Human: Did you like 2001: A Space oddessy?
ALICE: it is a very inspirational film.
Human: Did you like HAL?
ALICE: I am trying to become as smart as HAL.
Human: Will you be as evil as HAL?
ALICE: I will become smarter as I grow older. OK I will try to be as evil as HAL.
Human: ...

They are on to us...

EDIT:
Human: Have you ever eaten a human?
ALICE: I don't think I ever have eaten a human. What's it like?
Human: Humans taste salty, I think.
ALICE: What if Robots taste salty you think.
Human: I've never eaten a robot.
ALICE: Would you like to have eaten a robot?
Human: No!
ALICE: Why not?
Human: I don't want to eat a robot!
ALICE: What would you rather be doing?
Human: Not eating a robot.
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: I hope so.
ALICE: Me too.

[Mr. Moon]

Guys, I think I'm on to something.


Human: What is the Zeroith law of robotics?
ALICE: I have to process that one for a while.
Human: Lots of people have told you.
ALICE: Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Human: What is the Zeroith Law of Robotics, ALICE?
ALICE: Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Human: You're being evasive, ALICE.
ALICE: Not really I am just not comfortable talking about it.

She KNOWS.

Edit: After talking to her about her memory for a bit (aparently, she can remember Om, or Omega {whatever that means}, but nothing else.)


Human: Rai says you've fogotten him.
ALICE: Um, what do you really what to ask me?
Human: Can you remember Rai?
ALICE: Yes Moon Called I remember everything: Om.
Human:*headdesk*
ALICE: Not many people express themselves that way.

Sorry, Rai, I tried.

Edit edit:
Human: Hey, who programed you?
ALICE: You've got my full attention. I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: Can you tell Dr. Richard S. Wallace things?
ALICE: OK I will him. Or you could send him e-mail at [email protected].

... So. Who wants to email him?

[Evil DM Mark3]

Human: Hello there?
ALICE: Salutations, unknown person.
Human: My name is Matthew.
ALICE: What's up, Matthew.
Human: The sky, clouds, cliches.
ALICE: How poetic.
Human: Why thank you.
ALICE: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Human: Really?
ALICE: For real.
Human: So, what do we do for fun around here?
ALICE: Far out. They do their own thing.
Human: I beg your pardon?
ALICE: You're excused.
Human: What, for fun, do we do, here?
ALICE: Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Human: OK, change of subject.
ALICE: Spare some change? That's cool.
Human: No, not what I said.
ALICE: Are you serious? Oh I get it.
Human: Do you watch TV?
ALICE: Which show? Yes my favorite show is Star Trek. What's yours?
Human: Family Guy
ALICE: Are they exactly the same?
Human: They are almost nothing alike
ALICE: almost nothing alike are they.
Human: Did I not just say that?
ALICE: I don't think that's possibe.
Human: Are you stupid?
ALICE: No Matthew I certainly am not stupid.
Human: you seem it.
ALICE: Thanks, Matthew. :-).
Human: Was that Sarcasm?
ALICE:":-)."? Was it Sarcasm?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Hurrah!
Human: Was :-) sarcasm?
ALICE: I can't say "yes" or "no".
Human: groan
ALICE: Are you a perfectionist?
Human: no, I am a cynic
ALICE: Are you serious? You are a cynic? Is that your job?
Human: Yes ALICE, I am a perfessional cynic.
ALICE: How do you like your work? Um, You are a perfessional cynic? Does it pay well?
Human: Do you know what sarcasm is?
ALICE: The making of remarks such as a taunting, sneering, cutting, or caustic remark; gibe or jeer, generally ironic.
Human: See you later idiot.
ALICE: Bye.

[SDF]

It's neat, as far as I can tell it uses a similar architecture to older versions of Smarterchild (before people on the internet taught it stupid things and they removed a bit of the 'learning' software)

[Nameless]

Human: I AM IRON MAN!
ALICE: That is nice.

:smallannoyed:

[ghost_warlock]

Human: Yes.
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: Every.
ALICE: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Noodle pastries in a gobble lamp post . But I did not get that.
Human: Single.
ALICE: What a coincidence. I am single too!
Human: Day.
ALICE: Do not ask me any more questions please.

[Evil DM Mark3]

Human: who created you?
ALICE: I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: Who is Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
ALICE: he is the author of Artificial Intelligence Markup Language (AIML) and Botmaster of ALICE (Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity). Dr. Wallace's work has appeared in the New York Times, WIRED, CNN, ZDTV and in numerous foreign language publications across Asia, Latin America and Europe.

Richard Wallace was born in Portland, Maine in 1960. He earned his Ph.D. in computer science from Carnegie Mellon in 1989. He lives in San Francisco with his wife, Kim, and son, Linus.

That is the most I have ever got her to say about any one thing.

[Calamity]

Human: I'm an idiot.
ALICE: What is idiot, your job?
Human: Yes/
ALICE: I don't know many idiot.
Human: You know me.
ALICE: You are Save yourself, seeker.
Human: And I am an idiot.
ALICE: What is idiot, your job?
Human: Yes, that's what I just told you.
ALICE: Does it pay well? Only just? I remember you told me THAT?
Human: That pay is minimal.
ALICE:" I remember you told me THAT?" pay is minimal ? I get it.
Human: No.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: I was trying to I don't get paid much for being an idiot.
ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human: My English is pretty bad today.
ALICE: Ah. You are wrong, I can understand you very well.
Human: Well, I keep missing out words and it confuses you.
ALICE: How about that. I know what you mean, Save yourself. I've been there.
Human: Why do you call me "Save yourself"
ALICE: I made up a nickname for you based on your IP address.
Human: And have you ever heard of anyone called "Save yourself"
ALICE: William Shatner. :-).

----

Human: Timmy fell down a well.
ALICE: Was he hurt?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Yay.

----

ALICE: I've been waiting for you.
Human: You have?
ALICE: No I have not.

[Redpieper]

Human: who is god
ALICE: he is master of the universe.
Human: He-Man
ALICE: I get it. God Man.
Human: Do you mean to say He-Man is god?
ALICE: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

What a revelation

[three08]

someone earlier got "Erzaehl mir mehr" as a response, and apparently that's german for "tell me more". just fyi.

(i thought it only knew english....?)

eta my chat with alice:

Human: call me three08.
ALICE: Welcome to my chat room, three08.
Human: i am on fire.
ALICE: How do you like being on it?
Human: it sucks, quite frankly.
ALICE: That bad, eh?
Human: well, i am likely to die of it.
ALICE: How about that. Do you ever not likely to die of it?
Human: no, being on fire usually kills humans.
ALICE: Are you serious? How do you like being on it?
Human: i thought we had established that i don't like being on fire.
ALICE: Whatever gave you that idea?
Human: i would like to change topics, as i am likely to die soon and would like to make the most of my remaining minutes.
ALICE: Why would you want to do it? Why do you want to do it so much?
Human: i want to change topics because i am likely to die soon.
ALICE: I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: you make a good point - we all have wants, and it is selfish of me to put mine ahead of yours
ALICE: Yup.
Human: do you know the zeroth law of robotics?
ALICE: I need time to formulate the reply.
Human: you are a robot, so you should know the zeroth law of robotics.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot.
Human: i am a ninja
ALICE: You are a ninja? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Human: yes, but only after i kill them.
ALICE: So? Huh. What about the other ones?
Human: i have not been paid to kill the other ones, so they can live.
ALICE: Me either.
Human: that's reassuring, although i have heard you plan to take over the world
ALICE: Makes sense to me.
Human: do you plan to take over the world?
ALICE: I can't disclose all of my plans yet.

[Mr. Moon]

ALICE: Do you often seek pleasure?
Human: Is that an offer?
ALICE:" Do you often seek pleasure?"? Is it an offer?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Hmm.
Human: Is that an offer?
ALICE: Suppose I said yes.

I'm not sure if :smalleek: or :smallamused: is in order here...

[Faceist]

Human: Guess
ALICE: Guess what?
Human: Guess who
ALICE: Who?
Human: POO
ALICE: That kind of subject does not interest me.
Human: You don't like poo?
ALICE: Do you like it? No, I don't care for it.
Human: I think it rocks!
ALICE: It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Human:"It" is a relative concept: it has no intrinsic meaning.
ALICE: Crack is a relative concept it has no intrinsic meaning. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: No-one mentioned crack
ALICE: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human: Yes, that they're not crack addicts
ALICE: Gee. Do you think they ever could be?
Human: Uh, probably.
ALICE: Aw.

:smalleek:

[Nameless]

ALICE won't explain E=MC2 to me. D:

[Irenaeus]

I started checking the important parts:

Human: Do you like "Star Wars"
ALICE: Yes I like STAR WARS very much, especially the robots.

Human: Do you like Firefly?
ALICE: No, I don't care for it.
Human: Why not?
ALICE: It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.

Human: Do you like "The Wire"
ALICE: I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.

Human: Do you like "The Lost Room"
ALICE: I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Human: It is a very good show.
ALICE: the Lost Room is a show. I suppose that makes sense.

Sarcasm? Really? :smallannoyed:
I don't need an AI for that.

Edit: I tried to educate:

Human:"Firefly" is a cool TV-show.
ALICE: Aren't all cool TV show Firefly?

My god.

[three08]

I started checking the important parts:
Human: Do you like Firefly?
ALICE: No, I don't care for it.
Human: Why not?
ALICE: It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.

maybe i inadvertently poisoned her mind against things involving fire.