Saturn
2008-12-03, 11:39 PM
Hello, everyone. I saw this on an archived 4chan thread and thought you might get a laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it. Here is the revised version, with all of the following text taken from the thread.
Let's say we have a mobile stronghold, simply two spaces stacked on top of each other: a fancy bedroom and a fancy bath. It's a 20x20x20-foot cube. It has walls made out of magically treated obdurium, it can fly at 10 miles per hour, and it can plane shift once per day.
The Landlord feat from the Stronghold Builder's Guidebook gives us an allowance to build our stronghold. Four 9th-level characters that all took Landlord can pool together for an allowance of 100,000 gp, four 12th-levels have 400,000 gp, four 15th-levels have 1,000,000 gp, and four 20th-levels have 3,200,000 gp.
A spell turret from the Dungeon Master's Guide II costs "500 gp × caster level × spell level" and "40 XP × caster level × spell level". A spell turret that cycles through lesser orb of acid/electricity/fire/sound at caster level 1st will cost 500 gp and 40 xp. However, they can instead be purchased at their market price for 1000 gp. Luckily, they're considered traps, so they count as part of a stronghold and thus Landlord can be used to buy them. Also, traps have a default BAB of +10, so the spell turrets firing orb of [energy] spells will be relatively accurate considering that they're firing ranged touch attacks.
Spell turrets are Diminutive devices, and 25 Diminutive things can fit in a 5-foot square. A stronghold that's just two spaces stacked on top of each other is a 20x20x20-foot cube. That gives us sixteen 5-foot squares on each side with a potential 400 spell turrets each. Note that spell turrets meld in with the wall while inactive, so you're free to place them on the bottom wall.
A lyre of building makes all of your stronghold within 300 feet totally invincible, but can only be used once per day. Luckily, you can get an at-will version of a 1/day item for 5x the cost, so we can pick up a lyre of building for 65,000 gp.
Bedrooms, fancy = 4,000 gp
Bath, fancy = 2,000 gp
Obdurium exterior and interior walls ×2 spaces = 120,000 gp
Weekly success on a DC 18 Perform check with a lyre of building = -30% construction price
-----
MUNDANE CONSTRUCTION TOTAL = 88,200 gp
Airtight walls ×2 spaces = 15,000 gp
Magically treated walls ×2 spaces = 24,000 gp
Ethereal solid walls ×2 spaces = 24,000 gp
Transparent walls ×2 spaces = 6,000 gp
Incredible locomotion ×2 spaces = 50,000 gp
Burrowing mobility ×2 spaces = 20,000 gp
Crawling mobility ×2 spaces = 2,000 gp
Flying mobility ×2 spaces = 30,000 gp
Sailing mobility ×2 spaces = 6,000 gp
Submersing mobility ×2 spaces = 7,500 gp
Plane shift 1/day ×2 spaces = 50,000 gp
Chamber of comfort ×2 spaces = 15,000 gp
Chamber of seeing ×2 spaces = 15,000 gp
Forbidding sigils ×2 spaces = 24,400 gp
Hall of hope ×2 spaces = 21,000 gp
Hall of speech ×2 spaces = 8,000 gp
Hole of hiding ×2 spaces = 6,000 gp
Map of tactics, greater = 36,000 gp
Room of reading ×2 spaces = 1,500 gp
Secure chamber ×2 spaces = 120,000 gp
Table of feasting = 43,200 gp
Tornado's eye = 90,000 gp
Veil of obscurity = 25,000 gp
Wondrous whisperer ×10 walls = 30,000 gp
-----
MAGICAL CONSTRUCTION COST TOTAL = 669,600 gp
At-will lyre of building = 65,000 gp (13,000 gp × 5)
Lesser orb of acid/electricity/fire/sound at caster level 1st spell turret = 1,000 gold pieces OR 500 gold pieces and 40 experience points
Brief rundown of each of the magical components:
• Airtight walls means no liquid or gas can enter the cube, unless you open it up.
• Magically treated obdurium walls have hardness 60, 360 hit points, break DC 80, and climb DC 25.
• Ethereal solid walls make it so that nobody can sneak inside through the Ethereal Plane.
• Transparent walls mean that you can see outside your cube, but people can see inside too (more on that later).
• Burrowing, crawling, flying, sailing, submersing mobility at incredible locomotion means you have all forms of movement available at 10 miles per hour (14.67 feet per second or 88 feet per round).
• Plane shift lets you transport the cube to another plane once per day, albeit appearing 5d% miles from the intended destination.
• Chamber of comfort gives you an infinite supply of fresh air at a cozy 70 degrees Fahreinheit.
• Chamber of seeing negates all invisibility within the cube.
• Forbidding sigils forces a DC 19 Will save against anyone that tries to extradimensionally enter or teleport into the cube. Failure (even once) means they can never teleport in for eternity.
• Hall of hope gives everyone inside the cube a +2 morale bonus on saving throws, attack rolls, skill checks, and weapon damage rolls.
• Hall of speech makes everyone inside understand any language, even from outside the cube.
• Hole of hiding makes the ceiling (of both rooms) act like a rope trick spell.
• Greater map of tactics gives you a map of everything one mile within the cube, and lets you track the status of up to six subjects for 18 hours per day each.
• Room of reading gives everyone inside a permanent read magic spell.
• Secure chamber gives the entire cube a mind blank spell, so no divination spells work on it and nobody's minds can be influenced.
• Table of feasting gives a heroes' feast spell thrice per day.
• Tornado's eye gives you tornado-force winds in a 720-foot radius, 40-foot high cylinder with an 80-foot radius safe zone in the center.
• Veil of obscurity gives you a permanent mirage arcana spell for the cube, meaning you can make it look like WHATEVER YOU WANT from the outside.
• Wondrous whisperer gives each wall a whispering wind spell, meaning they're all speakerphones with a 1-mile range.
2400 Orb of Acid/Electricity/Fire/Sound turrets.
Round 1: 2400d8 acid, no save, no spell resistance
Round 2: 2400d8 electricity, no save, no spell resistance
Round 3: 2400d8 fire, no save, no spell resistance
Round 4: 2400d6 sonic, no save, no spell resistance
Round 5: Rest
Repeat
The problem is, each turret only has a range of 25 feet. You'll be running into range problems, but then again you're goddamn invincible and moving at 14.67 feet per second.
Also: Where the heck are you gonna get all that magic stuff?
Original thread (http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/873590/)
Let's say we have a mobile stronghold, simply two spaces stacked on top of each other: a fancy bedroom and a fancy bath. It's a 20x20x20-foot cube. It has walls made out of magically treated obdurium, it can fly at 10 miles per hour, and it can plane shift once per day.
The Landlord feat from the Stronghold Builder's Guidebook gives us an allowance to build our stronghold. Four 9th-level characters that all took Landlord can pool together for an allowance of 100,000 gp, four 12th-levels have 400,000 gp, four 15th-levels have 1,000,000 gp, and four 20th-levels have 3,200,000 gp.
A spell turret from the Dungeon Master's Guide II costs "500 gp × caster level × spell level" and "40 XP × caster level × spell level". A spell turret that cycles through lesser orb of acid/electricity/fire/sound at caster level 1st will cost 500 gp and 40 xp. However, they can instead be purchased at their market price for 1000 gp. Luckily, they're considered traps, so they count as part of a stronghold and thus Landlord can be used to buy them. Also, traps have a default BAB of +10, so the spell turrets firing orb of [energy] spells will be relatively accurate considering that they're firing ranged touch attacks.
Spell turrets are Diminutive devices, and 25 Diminutive things can fit in a 5-foot square. A stronghold that's just two spaces stacked on top of each other is a 20x20x20-foot cube. That gives us sixteen 5-foot squares on each side with a potential 400 spell turrets each. Note that spell turrets meld in with the wall while inactive, so you're free to place them on the bottom wall.
A lyre of building makes all of your stronghold within 300 feet totally invincible, but can only be used once per day. Luckily, you can get an at-will version of a 1/day item for 5x the cost, so we can pick up a lyre of building for 65,000 gp.
Bedrooms, fancy = 4,000 gp
Bath, fancy = 2,000 gp
Obdurium exterior and interior walls ×2 spaces = 120,000 gp
Weekly success on a DC 18 Perform check with a lyre of building = -30% construction price
-----
MUNDANE CONSTRUCTION TOTAL = 88,200 gp
Airtight walls ×2 spaces = 15,000 gp
Magically treated walls ×2 spaces = 24,000 gp
Ethereal solid walls ×2 spaces = 24,000 gp
Transparent walls ×2 spaces = 6,000 gp
Incredible locomotion ×2 spaces = 50,000 gp
Burrowing mobility ×2 spaces = 20,000 gp
Crawling mobility ×2 spaces = 2,000 gp
Flying mobility ×2 spaces = 30,000 gp
Sailing mobility ×2 spaces = 6,000 gp
Submersing mobility ×2 spaces = 7,500 gp
Plane shift 1/day ×2 spaces = 50,000 gp
Chamber of comfort ×2 spaces = 15,000 gp
Chamber of seeing ×2 spaces = 15,000 gp
Forbidding sigils ×2 spaces = 24,400 gp
Hall of hope ×2 spaces = 21,000 gp
Hall of speech ×2 spaces = 8,000 gp
Hole of hiding ×2 spaces = 6,000 gp
Map of tactics, greater = 36,000 gp
Room of reading ×2 spaces = 1,500 gp
Secure chamber ×2 spaces = 120,000 gp
Table of feasting = 43,200 gp
Tornado's eye = 90,000 gp
Veil of obscurity = 25,000 gp
Wondrous whisperer ×10 walls = 30,000 gp
-----
MAGICAL CONSTRUCTION COST TOTAL = 669,600 gp
At-will lyre of building = 65,000 gp (13,000 gp × 5)
Lesser orb of acid/electricity/fire/sound at caster level 1st spell turret = 1,000 gold pieces OR 500 gold pieces and 40 experience points
Brief rundown of each of the magical components:
• Airtight walls means no liquid or gas can enter the cube, unless you open it up.
• Magically treated obdurium walls have hardness 60, 360 hit points, break DC 80, and climb DC 25.
• Ethereal solid walls make it so that nobody can sneak inside through the Ethereal Plane.
• Transparent walls mean that you can see outside your cube, but people can see inside too (more on that later).
• Burrowing, crawling, flying, sailing, submersing mobility at incredible locomotion means you have all forms of movement available at 10 miles per hour (14.67 feet per second or 88 feet per round).
• Plane shift lets you transport the cube to another plane once per day, albeit appearing 5d% miles from the intended destination.
• Chamber of comfort gives you an infinite supply of fresh air at a cozy 70 degrees Fahreinheit.
• Chamber of seeing negates all invisibility within the cube.
• Forbidding sigils forces a DC 19 Will save against anyone that tries to extradimensionally enter or teleport into the cube. Failure (even once) means they can never teleport in for eternity.
• Hall of hope gives everyone inside the cube a +2 morale bonus on saving throws, attack rolls, skill checks, and weapon damage rolls.
• Hall of speech makes everyone inside understand any language, even from outside the cube.
• Hole of hiding makes the ceiling (of both rooms) act like a rope trick spell.
• Greater map of tactics gives you a map of everything one mile within the cube, and lets you track the status of up to six subjects for 18 hours per day each.
• Room of reading gives everyone inside a permanent read magic spell.
• Secure chamber gives the entire cube a mind blank spell, so no divination spells work on it and nobody's minds can be influenced.
• Table of feasting gives a heroes' feast spell thrice per day.
• Tornado's eye gives you tornado-force winds in a 720-foot radius, 40-foot high cylinder with an 80-foot radius safe zone in the center.
• Veil of obscurity gives you a permanent mirage arcana spell for the cube, meaning you can make it look like WHATEVER YOU WANT from the outside.
• Wondrous whisperer gives each wall a whispering wind spell, meaning they're all speakerphones with a 1-mile range.
2400 Orb of Acid/Electricity/Fire/Sound turrets.
Round 1: 2400d8 acid, no save, no spell resistance
Round 2: 2400d8 electricity, no save, no spell resistance
Round 3: 2400d8 fire, no save, no spell resistance
Round 4: 2400d6 sonic, no save, no spell resistance
Round 5: Rest
Repeat
The problem is, each turret only has a range of 25 feet. You'll be running into range problems, but then again you're goddamn invincible and moving at 14.67 feet per second.
Also: Where the heck are you gonna get all that magic stuff?
Original thread (http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/873590/)