Why is my paper not writing itself?

[mikeejimbo]

Seriously, it's due Friday. If it doesn't want to earn itself a bad grade, it should probably get working. I mean, I've even left it alone, so it would have the peace and quiet it needs to write, but noooo. It's just sitting there, blinking. Maybe it's jealous that I'm just killing time on the net while I expect it to do work?

I'm considering writing a program to help it. Is there a way to access the Unix dictionary in a C program? Silly question, of course there is. What is it? That's a better question.

Also, if there are man pages, are there woman pages?

[Don Julio Anejo]

Well, there is a facebook group called "Nothing gets my room cleaner than a paper due tomorrow."

You could join it, perhaps.. At least you would be doing something constructive.

[mikeejimbo]

*looks around the room*

You know, it could use cleaning...

[13_CBS]

Well, you could stop posting here and get on it :smallamused:

[Nohwl]

or he could use the forums to help put off his paper even more. i find its best to avoid doing shorter papers until sometime around 9:00 at night the day before its due. the only problem is that i usually finish sometime between 2 or 3 doing it that way.

[RS14]

^: Yeah, he'll need a good random seed for his program, once he gets it done. We can provide that. We're helping. :smallamused:

[mikeejimbo]

^: Yeah, he'll need a good random seed for his program, once he gets it done. We can provide that. We're helping. :smallamused:

Hmm, I was just going to use the system time.

[RTGoodman]

or he could use the forums to help put off his paper even more. i find its best to avoid doing shorter papers until sometime around 9:00 at night the day before its due. the only problem is that i usually finish sometime between 2 or 3 doing it that way.

Hey, that's how I got through my whole undergraduate career. The ONLY time I didn't do that was my last semester when I had like 60 pages of papers due within three days of each other. (I did the 30-page one a few days before, the handful of several short ones a couple of days before, and then the 10-pager the night before, and STILL made all A's!)

My system, if you're interested:

Start a music playlist, preferably on YouTube so you have the videos to watch while procrastinating. I just found THIS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dA0ZcQ6m65E&feature=channel_page) and THIS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bM7tdWRkBp0&feature=channel_page), and they're pretty interesting. (NSFW/bad language on that last one.)

Go get a snack and bring it back to your desk - that'll take up time now AND when you eat it in a bit AND when you go to throw away the trash or wash the plate or whatever.

Get all your sources organized. Take all your books and stack them from biggest to smallest. Take a minute to figure out where the ones with weird dimensions go. Stack 'em up, with one open on top so it at least looks to parents/roommates/whoever like you're working.

Clear off your desk. Then get back out some notecards and other little tools. Then go get some of the other stuff you cleared off, like a stapler. You don't NEED it, but it's something to fiddle with.

Type up your academic heading, taking time to make sure you got the course name and professor's name right. Look it up online - that's a good waste of time (and will probably bring you back to the Playground!).

Take a LONG time to get the title - that's the key. I always make sure to include a pun, joke, or neat quote, a semi-colon, and then a long alliterative actual title. PHD Comics had THIS (http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=718) to say on the subject.

Start writing, but DON'T write in 12-point double-spaced. Write it in 10-point font, single-spaced. It'll make you feel better if ever so often you can expand it to the correct size and see how much you've actually written.

[Zarrexaij]

Unplug/disconnect/whatever from the internet.

Start writing.

I find this works pretty well. :smalltongue:

[RS14]

Hmm, I was just going to use the system time.

That sounds like it might leave time for actual work.

[mikeejimbo]

Unplug/disconnect/whatever from the internet.

Start writing.

I find this works pretty well. :smalltongue:

I dunno, I like rtg0922's.

[Irenaeus]

I have no idea. My thesis didn't write itself either, even though I waited a really long time for it to happen.

[three08]

your paper is probably hungry. put some buttered toast or a donut into the CD tray.

[oreganoe]

I'm wondering my essay isn't writing itself as well. I copied and pasted a few pages of text, to try and give it a hint, but as far as I can tell nothing has happened. I'm kinda worried, as it's due by five and absolutely nothing is going on with it.

[EmeraldRose]

Sounds like it's time for the two of you would be procrastinators to use this time inthe only logical way......


Write a program that you can input the basic theme for a paper, as well as desirable references and sources into, then press enter and it does all the rest.

:smallwink:

[mikeejimbo]

Wait...time! That gives me an idea! I can travel forward in time to the point when the paper is done, retrieve it, and come back here! Cookies for the reference?

[oreganoe]

That sounds like a plan! But wait...if you do that than I think you can expect yourself to appear sometime before it's due to hand you your paper. You're in the clear mikeejimbo. I'm jealous.

[Mauve Shirt]

I get As and Bs on the papers I write 2 hours before class. :smallbiggrin:
Also, why is my test not studying for itself???

[someonenonotyou]

om supose to be doing my senior paper right now and if i dont get it in by friday i dont pass serion year :smalleek: WHY WONT IT WRITE IT SELF!:smallfurious: stupid lazy paper cant even write itself back in my day papers had more respect they would be all like "what can i write for you today master" lazy papers

[mikeejimbo]

Whee! It's finally finished. It's not as good as I would have liked it, as I left out some interesting information. However, it was non-vital, so I think I'm safe.

[Player_Zero]

Interestingly enough, if I clean my room then I do write faster and more effectively... A room that isn't perfectly clean distracts me quite badly I think...

I also tend to work better without music... Helps me think I think.

And I write better stuff without caffeine, too. Not that i write more, it just makes more sense when I re-read it the following day.

Doubt that really helps much, but I find that as soon asd you get into the right state of mind you can go ahead and get to work without stressing.. You just need the will of a warrior.

[Quorothorn]

Wait...time! That gives me an idea! I can travel forward in time to the point when the paper is done, retrieve it, and come back here! Cookies for the reference?

Calvin tried that: results were...mixed, I suppose, but overall good. Too bad you actually did it yourself instead of trying time-travel, as it'd be an interesting experiment to run.

Perhaps I should try it myself for some of the half-dozen papers I have due over the next week...

P.S. I can has cookiee?

[CasESenSITItiVE]

well, i can see your problem, you can't just sit there and wait for your paper to get done...

you need to whip it into obedience, a lazy paper won't do squat unless it knows your serious

i would give a demonstration, but the whip is way over there...

[whitelaughter]

Well, if it won't respond to the carrot, try the stick: write random words on the paper until it gets the idea that it doesn't want your help and starts writing itself.

[oreganoe]

I tried that earlier. Unfortunately my paper must have been kinda dense because it didn't pick up on the clue. However, with some liberal application of my head juices, I eventually got it done. It was the terribly common way of actually writing it but it got done.