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View Full Version : Hilarious things to do to your players as a DM



TylerFerretLord
2008-12-11, 09:04 PM
Now, to prevent an irritating drawn out argumentdebate, let me say this beforehand: These are things that you should usually not do and I do not advocate doing them, but would be funny if you did. Please, just read and laugh, don't turn this into a flame war.

Now, with that said, post hilarious thing that you have done to your players or have always wanted to. I'll start off with a few.


There was a time I ran a little one-shot adventure for my cousins that involved time traveling kobolds as the antagonists. Being from the future, I ruled that they had access to 'advanced' technology for DnD. When the final showdown between the kobolds and the PCs commenced, I said:

"The kobolds pull out machine guns and shoot you."

The look on their faces was priceless.

Brauron
2008-12-11, 09:10 PM
Vending machine in the middle of a dungeon. Put in 1 GP, get a vial of liquid. 25% chance it's a beneficial potion, 25% chance it's poison in a potion bottle, 50% it's a refreshing beverage.

Occasional Sage
2008-12-11, 09:22 PM
In a Shadowrun game I took inspiration on the fly from the Grimtooth's Traps books during a firefight in a factory.

The team's street sam was firing from an elevated catwalk, which was blown out from underneath him. He landed in a vat of... something: too thin for swimming and too slimy to get a grip on anything reached down to him.

He drowned.

Stupendous_Man
2008-12-11, 09:26 PM
Just randomly roll a d20 every now and then.

Grail
2008-12-11, 09:36 PM
In a game that I was a player (one of the few), the DM had the Elf Fighter get struck by a poison needle. Slowly the Elf's right arm began to turn to stone. Everyone was freaking out, so I drew my sword and cut the elf's arm off just above the elbow to save him from becoming permanently petrified.

Unfortunately, the petrification was an illusion.
Unfortunately (2), the Fighter used Two-Handed weapons only (2e, WP in Longbow, 2handed sword etc)
Unfortunately (3), the Cleric had offended his god and couldn't cast Restoration or any other spells until he had atoned.

Very funny, but not for the player.

mikeejimbo
2008-12-11, 09:39 PM
Make puns. In lieu of a plotline, have a series of puns with a tenuous connection between them.

When one of the players attacked an NPC for making too many puns, I knew I was doing my job right.

Grail
2008-12-11, 09:42 PM
Have a plane shift go wrong and the Druid materialise in the same spatial proximity as a zombie, and both go squish.

Yes, I've done that.
Yes, it was funny.

The group are still carrying around the druids head some 1 year later (in game time).

skeeter_dan
2008-12-11, 09:45 PM
Just randomly roll a d20 every now and then.

I do that all the time.

Flickerdart
2008-12-11, 10:11 PM
The worst thing a DM can do to his players is never say "are you SURE?"

Thane of Fife
2008-12-11, 10:17 PM
There's nothing more fun than cursed weapons which pretend to not be cursed weapons (i.e. identify as beneficial).

Eventually I felt sorry for that poor cleric and showed him the business end of a gray ooze.

monty
2008-12-11, 10:22 PM
The worst thing a DM can do to his players is never say "are you SURE?"

I hate it when the DM does that to me.


One I like to do is to randomly make them roll Spot checks, then grin evilly when they tell me what they rolled. Then nothing happens. I have to do it infrequently enough that it blends in with the real Spot checks, though.

Rebonack
2008-12-11, 10:23 PM
I... really don't do mean things to my players.

I do things that I think would be hilarious. Such as finding a pair of Shears of Expeditious Retreat (running with scissors!) in a dragon's hoard. Aside from irritating stuff like a reoccurring talking sword I guess my players have gotten off lucky.

Doomsy
2008-12-11, 10:41 PM
You need a good poker face for this one, but I find it really funny to wait until they are in a travel segment and suddenly glance up and ask, deadly serious, who is driving and what their relevant skills are. You should preferably do this right before or after rolling a few dice.

I've used this to suddenly kill rambling OOC conversations before.

Starscream
2008-12-11, 10:44 PM
Anything and everything involving sovereign glue is hilarious. Smear it on door handles, weapon hilts, chamber pots, etc. Of course, it sets within a round, so some sort of trigger to release it is necessary.

Big bucket of it above a dungeon door is bound to make hilarity ensue.

I've always wanted to have an evil (if clever) necromancer give a tube to each of his mindless skeletons. Each has standing orders to, when attacked, smear some glue on themselves and then charge and grapple the heroes. Even if they succeed in killing their foes they now have dismembered skeletons stuck to them.

Muhuwahahaha!

golentan
2008-12-11, 10:49 PM
One of my players, without plot incentive to roll the check, rolled for gather information. 1, followed by a 1, a 1, and a 2. On the third one, the paper he was reading spontaneously combusted. On the final roll, I said "You wake up with amnesia three days later. All you remember is the phrase 'President Bartlett commands the Humming Chair and the Vacillating Shoggoth." Everyone bugged out when they recognized shoggoth as a cthulhu reference, and they were packed and lifted off in record time.

WaterTengu
2008-12-11, 11:27 PM
Just randomly roll a d20 every now and then.

but then every so often look at them like they are about to die.

but one of my favorite devices is when i need to kill off a player (he is leaving the game, we have issues, etc.) i say "a book appears in the distance flies toward you and hits you in the face, it deals 9,999 damage, you die".

starwoof
2008-12-11, 11:30 PM
"Everyone roll a d20 and whoever rolls lowest dies this round."

They thought I was kidding for a moment. :smallbiggrin:

Kroy
2008-12-11, 11:32 PM
In a game that I was a player (one of the few), the DM had the Elf Fighter get struck by a poison needle. Slowly the Elf's right arm began to turn to stone. Everyone was freaking out, so I drew my sword and cut the elf's arm off just above the elbow to save him from becoming permanently petrified.

Unfortunately, the petrification was an illusion.
Unfortunately (2), the Fighter used Two-Handed weapons only (2e, WP in Longbow, 2handed sword etc)
Unfortunately (3), the Cleric had offended his god and couldn't cast Restoration or any other spells until he had atoned.

Very funny, but not for the player.
Do I know you? This exact thing happened in one of my games. Very strange.

Egiam
2008-12-11, 11:39 PM
-Ask the players if they can lend you a few D6's
-ask a player if they've ever considered playing a ranger

xPANCAKEx
2008-12-11, 11:47 PM
have a jolly gnome NPC join the party... one who has a fondness for practical jokes

monty
2008-12-11, 11:49 PM
have a jolly gnome NPC join the party... one who has a fondness for practical jokes

So a new improvised weapon for the party barbarian?

TheEmerged
2008-12-11, 11:52 PM
"Annoying Man". I've mentioned him on the board before. This is under the HERO system, in a Champion's campaign. Short version is that I (the GM) was challenged to make a single character with very limited damage powers and only average defenses, and see how long I could make the fight last.

The fight lasted in-game *turns*. It's unusual for a HERO fight to go a single full turn (12 segments, 6 phases most of the time).

How? He was built around delay tactics and misdirection. He could turn invisible, and teleport.

"Wait, did he just teleport away? Or turn invisible?"

He could create illusions (images, in system terms) that were *only* visible to unusual senses.

"Wait, my radar says he's over there!"

He could also become invisible to unusual senses while being visible to normal ones.

"That one can't be real! He's not showing up on my radar!"

He could also create standard sight-sound illusions. Not that impressive... until you found out he could turn desolid (think "phase out") without the power being visible. So you couldn't tell if your attack went through him because "he" was an illusion, or because he was desolid...

Think I'm done yet? He could also create duplicates of himself.

Yeah, it gets even worse. By the time that fight was over, I was under threat of death to never use him again

BRC
2008-12-11, 11:56 PM
"alright Everybody, we're playing Paranoia today!"
It's hilarious for the DM anyway...

NEO|Phyte
2008-12-11, 11:58 PM
"alright Everybody, we're playing Paranoia today!"
It's hilarious for the DM anyway...

Hilarity is mandatory.

Epinephrine
2008-12-12, 12:01 AM
Make their actions actually have consequences. :smallbiggrin:

Seriously, they'll never expect it. They strike up a conversation, talk about the glory of adventuring, get some young guy fired up about it. He tries to follow them, gets killed, the village decides that they're responsible for encouraging him... Sometimes it's the simple stuff that throws them completely for a loop.


a pair of Shears of Expeditious Retreat (running with scissors!)

Oooh, I may have to borrow those!

Lycan 01
2008-12-12, 12:10 AM
Call of Cthulhu.

Modern setting.

Cthulhu was going Cloverfield on New York City.

The players were checking out a maintenance room in a subway tunnel.

One of them did a spot check to find a crowbar or something.

He rolled a 1.




One of my players gave me a hug for being so awesome after I described to the other player how he discovered the skeletal remains of Jimmy Hoffa.

(I wonder how many people are gonna ask me for the campaign diary on that one... :smallamused:)

sebsmith
2008-12-12, 12:11 AM
First, I remember something about conspiracy's in there too, so I don't think anyone can blame Traveller characters running from a Cthullu references.

Second, I've sort of always wanted to do the opposite of what Monty mentioned, which is force the players to roll so many spot and listen checks that you will eventually be able to ask for a spot check and nobody will freak out when they fail because they think it's just another fake one.

Lycan 01
2008-12-12, 12:14 AM
Oh, wait... I forgot my personal favorite!


Smirk.

Neek
2008-12-12, 12:36 AM
I once started a campaign that had a lot of plot, and the players weren't really into plot, just go to dungeon, and slaughter. Well, that's what I got from the previous campaign--not that they didn't get into it.

The game was a Method 1 campaign: 3d6, down the line. Reroll if your total stat bonuses are not great than +1, I believe. We had a Transmuter, a Fighter, and a Ranger in the group.

So the three were assembled by Lord Bishop Johan to head north to a Dwarven mining camp and find out what happened, as it was out of contact and there are rumors of an orcish encroachment nearby.

They met up with a trio: A dwarf fighter, a halfling rogue, and a gnome sorcerer. The dwarf was really smelly, the halfling had no personality to speak of, and the gnome twitched a lot. Their wagon "broke" a wheel, and they were scammingasking money to fix it. The party pretty much told them to bugger off.

Half a day later up the road, they were ambushed. By the trio. They were pissed for the lack of assistance. The players tried to negotiate first, and told them that they are an important mission sent by... Lord Baron Whatshisname. They woke up six hours later, bound and gagged in the middle of the forest with no gold.

It was an unintentional humbling, but the players remembered they weren't on top of the world. (As the DMG tells you, always remind the players that there's someone more powerful than them. I did it with embarrassing consequences).

Deepblue706
2008-12-12, 12:38 AM
I:

-Smile. A lot.
-Randomly roll dice.
-Describe absolutely mundane things in great detail.
-Constantly have menacing creatures appear as indirect threats (like an Ancient Red Dragon chillin' outside some castle ruins the PCs are investigating...when the party is level 2).
-Place traps in innane locations
-Having highly observant commoner NPCs who make subtle jabs at the adventuring life
-Having periodic encounters with a troupe of bards who, after being defeated, go to all known local towns and spread tales of how they trounced the PCs.
-Making random magical items intelligent. Including Potions.
-Having con-artists sell PCs defective magic items

There's more, but I don't feel like typing it all out. Suffice it to say that my DMing motto goes as follows: If the PCs are not confused, enraged, sad, insecure, irritated, embarrassed or paranoid, then I'm doing something wrong.

Jack_Simth
2008-12-12, 01:22 AM
Arrange for them to knowingly have tea. With the villain. Totally peacefully. Knowing he's a villain (last session).

Arrange for them to be invited to watch the (well intentioned) villain's ascension (which didn't work out too hot for anyone involved) (two campaigns ago).

Hawriel
2008-12-12, 01:33 AM
Well my moto for the game Im running is "because its funny." Its amazing how much ammo my players give me.

The party has A cleric of Helm, who has the ethics of Daffy Duck. A half orc barbarian who looks like Fabio, if he was a half orc. He rages when he sees orange, he also sees orange when he rages. A fighter/mage who is a total fop. Big purple hat and french. The rogue is a story teller, and the NPC so I could round out the party. I used her as the seldome herd voice of reason.

After three months of gaming the barbarian finaly has not been humiliated in some way when raging. He has tripped a net trap and failed his save, and raged in a tangled ball on the floor. He raged and charged a ghast, rolled a 1 on his save and continued to rage wile violently vometing in the shallow grave the ghast came out of for the rest of the fight. He has raged when hit in the face by a 12in wooden dall construct thrown out of an alcove by the cleric. Raged slipped in slime (normal slime) and was kicked in the junk by the doll that rolled a crit. He charged a kobald cleric in a rage. That cleric hit him with a levatate spell so the barbarian was raging with spinning six feet off the floor. He still managed to decapitate a kobald spearmen. These are the best ones.

The cleric on the other hand.

The wooden dalls where found in a chest deep in an alcove in the caves the party was exploring. the alcove was 3 and a half feet high. He hit the dolls with a flask of oil then set it on fire. This did harm to the dolls but now hes fighting alone 3 dolls set on fire. After two rounds of this he desides to put out the fire, with create water. I quickly say ok. A beat later I say ok so you put out the oil fire with water. Oh crap! sais the cleric. Now the poor barbarian rolling on the ground gets hit with running flaming oil pooring out of the alcove a round later. The cleric of corse was the first to get washed in the oil. This all happen because the cleric saw somthing shiny.

The cleric player loves to graple. Its fine because it allows me to do things because its funny. It actualy played right into one of my encounters very nicely. The cleric got into a graple with a kobald wile fighting in a tourcher chamber. The kobolds buddies piled on and in two rounds dragged him into and slammed the door on an iron maiden. That was great! that was the first 3 rounds of the fight. The rest of the party had to finish off the encounter with the cleric still in the iron maiden.

Water playes alot in my campaine. So fare its been in water caves and a swamp. The cleric wears full plate. The claric also wants to become the god of grappling. His determination has been tested when he tried to grapple a giant constrictor and a giant croc. Man Im not even the kind of GM that thinks of the players as the enemy but when they jump head first into stuff. I gotta have my fun.

edit.

I forgot the fop with the purple hat.
During a plot seen in a tavern a messenger NPC that is divulging information is assassinated with poisoned wine. This was part of the adventure. It was poisoned by a man who was possing as the waiter. Right after I get to the part whare the messenger starts to die of the poison the fighter with the purple hat brakes in with "HUH?! wine? I drink it down! I paused in shock with 'what?'. Yeah I drink it down! I just smile and say make a fort save. He spent the next two gaming sessions recuveing from the poison in a church of Ilmater.

BobVosh
2008-12-12, 01:48 AM
Hand out everyone a note that says "You aren't the one. Nod and hand this note back in about 30 seconds."

Give a -2 dipolmacy to everyone who talks to a dwarf without a beard. Have a dwarf that sells beards that selfattach. Never mention it is attached with sovergn glue. +2 Dipolmacy modifier with the fake beard.
We actually had an elf put one of these on :smallbiggrin:

Illusion Air Trap. (from AGC) Have the party get sucked into a room. People start to notice they can't talk to one another (no sound.) People start turning blue. Fire affects won't work. Will save to disbelieve the air :smallsmile:

revolver kobold
2008-12-12, 01:50 AM
I had an enemy necromancer cast Alter Self on themselves so they looked like the parties fighter. He then proceeded to cast Death Throws on himself and charge the fighter. We deemed he needed a bit of therapy after that incident.

Khanderas
2008-12-12, 02:20 AM
Hand out everyone a note that says "You aren't the one. Nod and hand this note back in about 30 seconds."
Now this is gold.
Many other great ideas, but this one has potential for both great evil and great fun as well as being repeatable.

Trizap
2008-12-12, 02:28 AM
Stare at them, narrow you eyes once in a while, rub your hands together once or twice, purposefully have shifty eyes, and smile, say "iiiiiiinteresting choice...."
purposefully stretch out the "I", and sometimes make everything seem a little *too* easy.

oh and also, in the loot throw a Belt of Gender change in there once a while- but with an illusion cast over it to make it look like a Belt of Giant Strength :smallbiggrin:

OracleofWuffing
2008-12-12, 02:45 AM
Now, to prevent an irritating drawn out argumentdebate, let me say this beforehand: These are things that you should usually not do

Oops. :smallbiggrin:

Notable houserule: Everyone can use any scrolls regardless of whether they cast no magic, arcane magic, or divine magic, and has a +10 random skill bonus to support them. I realize this houserule is BROKEN LIKE ALL GET OUT under normal conditions, 1. but the party is Paladin, Monk, Soulknife, and Fighter, 2. the city they're closest to doesn't sell scrolls, and 3. I'm a first-time DMer who generated starting treasure and then read the rules regarding it.

So, uh, before my previous session, the party Paladin comes up to me and asks nicely if he can kill off his character and roll up a new one. I, uh, really didn't want this to happen, as having a Paladin "fit" some of the events in the campaign, and we already had some nice characterization happen. Plus, they're only going to gain, like, one and half more levels before the campaign's over. I explain all this, we settle down, and he decides he'll keep playing Paladin. He levels up his character (which he should have done earlier), and realizes that he now has access to a special mount, which he finds to be the coolest character option ever.

So, it was kind of "His day" for that campaign session. He uses the heavy warhorse to break the party out of wrongful imprisionment by the BBEG*, and procedes to use his mounted combat skills to wipe the immediate prison guards off the face of the dungeon. Now, uh, for stupid reasons (the DM was lazy), this dungeon isn't underground, but quite a few stories above ground. Anyhow, they see a whole crowd of over twenty-five soldiers coming after them after all of the commotion they caused.

Monk: I'll use diplomacy to talk them out of killing us!
Me: Yeeah. Remember when you tried to do that when they imprisioned you and it didn't work? Okay, one of the guards slows down a little bit.
Monk: Sweet, I'll just keep doing this! How far away are they now?
Soulknife: Screw that, I'll just take on all of them.
Fighter: I've got your back.
Me (As Sorceror NPC who has been chained up): What? Zere must be twenty-five of zem! And Zere's probably more where zhey came from!
Paladin: Well, uh... We'll have to jump.
Me (NPC): Are you insane!? We'll nevar survive such a fall!
Monk: I've got three ranks in Tumble!
Paladin: Um...
Me: You, uh, do remember the stuff you got on the first day of this campaign, right?
Paladin: Do I need to roll for that?
Me: Naw, the sorceror just found your stuff and handed it to you a few minutes ago, of course you remember it.
Paladin: Okay, so that would be... (Looks over old character sheet) Oh, hey! I've got two scrolls of fly!
Me (NPC): But zhere are five of us!
Paladin: ... ... ... I've got it. Furin[Monk], you carry Ekkin[NPC]. Everyone else, on my warhorse.
Me: Woah, your horse can do that!?
Paladin: Easily (Hands character sheet).
Me: Huh. Okay.
Paladin: I use the scrolls to cast fly on Furin, and my horse. I mount my horse, and jump... Well, fly down to the ground.
Monk: Me, too!
Me: Hm... You know, it's awfully crowded on that horse.
Paladin: He can handle the weight.
Me: It's not a matter of weight, it's a matter of space.
Paladin: ...Oh.
Me: Roll balance to see if you remain on the horse.
Paladin: :smallconfused: Wouldn't that be a ride check?
Me: No, staying on a horse- and a flying one, at that- with a bunch of other people on it isn't exactly normal riding conditions.
Fighter: How long of a fall is it, again?
Me: It'd be a fatal fall, let's leave it at that.
Monk: :smalleek: Can't you let him use Handle Animal, instead?
Me: No, he's controlling his body, not the horse's emotions.
Soulknife: Wait, if he dies, wouldn't the horse vanish or something?
Me: Oh, good thought. Yeah, something like that would probably happen.
Paladin: :smallfrown: But I have negative ranks in balance!
Me: Well, hope you roll high, then.

Paladin: I got a negative three.

Me: You try to maintain your balance, but you lose control and fall off.

Paladin: :smallsigh: Nooooo!

Me: Suddenly, the yellow ring on your finger starts glowing. You fall at a rate of, oh, roughly five feet per minute.

Paladin: What?

Me: ... You land safely on the ground.

Conclusion: I am no longer allowed to give playing characters unidentified rings of feather fall on day one of the campaign.

*Please do not point out how this could/would/should cause a Paladin to fall. Seriously. My whole group is of the opinion that "Lawful Good" doesn't mean "Lawful Supid," it means "Stupid Stupid," and I'm taking any nonblatant violation of the Paladin Code that I can get to try to change this attitude.

Ridureyu
2008-12-12, 02:50 AM
I like using a REAL "Random Encounter" list:

"Stepping out of the bushes are a human bandit, a Slaad Tadpole, three Balors, and Pelor, God of the Sun. 'Your money or your life,' says Pelor, brandishing a club."

Celeres
2008-12-12, 03:05 AM
find that one friend who's good with ideas that screw with people, and teach him how to properly play a kender.

Epic_Wizard
2008-12-12, 04:22 AM
Anything and everything involving sovereign glue is hilarious. Smear it on door handles, weapon hilts, chamber pots, etc. Of course, it sets within a round, so some sort of trigger to release it is necessary.

Big bucket of it above a dungeon door is bound to make hilarity ensue.

I've always wanted to have an evil (if clever) necromancer give a tube to each of his mindless skeletons. Each has standing orders to, when attacked, smear some glue on themselves and then charge and grapple the heroes. Even if they succeed in killing their foes they now have dismembered skeletons stuck to them.

Muhuwahahaha!

Sovereign Glue on an immovable rod at forehead height. If they fail their spot check then hilarity ensues XD

John Campbell
2008-12-12, 04:28 AM
The worst thing a DM can do to his players is never say "are you SURE?"

Almost as bad and possibly even funnier is asking, "Are you SURE?" at random for no reason.

Well, no reason beyond the hilarity value of watching the party freak out and change their plans all around, anyway.

AngelSword
2008-12-12, 06:33 AM
I like cackling. It's good to put the fear of Almighty DM in them.:smallbiggrin:

As far as things I've done in game…::ponder ponder::…the sitar music, funky lights, and strange smoke emanating from a cave in the desert was too suspicious for them not to investigate. They're gearing up for a fight, casting their buff spells.

When they finally charge into the cave, all they find is a giant behir, puffing away on his giant hookah, singing a song of vowels (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmMRoreu-Lw). The younger kids were upset that they were denied their XP, but the father, a man who owns dice older than myself, just looks at me and chuckles. Now I'm not sure if it's good or bad that the kids didn't catch the reference, but having someone appreciate that not all encounters are combative in nature was worth it. :smallsmile:

Roderick_BR
2008-12-12, 06:41 AM
I second that time traveling is... bad. My players got quite amused when I threw them into a Swatkats scenario (add to it they were the only human-looking characters there, making it even harder to hide) and one of the characters got enchanted by that thing called "pizza", but they promised to beat me if I threw another zergling at them.

Making whole stories based on puns, or referencing shows they can easily recognize is also a no-no. Like summoer wizards/druids, using small magic balls to summon their critters... (if you really want to, one of the Portable Hole Full of Beer books actually have magic spheres of creature summoning. If you read the flavour text, you can see it's a clear homage/parody... I'm actually thinking about using them)

Ah, another fun thing to. Roll randomly. Smile broadly (optionally, say "Yes!" or "yay, a 20!") then look to the players and continue playing as normal. If someone asks, just say "oh, that's nothing" and smirk.

Kantur
2008-12-12, 06:44 AM
Mine is quite simple, and learned from my two previous DMs (Who are now in my game at my gaming group, revenge is sweet) - I use the words "Seems" and "Appears" lots after they make a skill check. In Cthulhu.

Oh, and I made them travel from the UK to the USA on the RMS Titanic. I wish I'd had a camera when I'd told them...

Tengu_temp
2008-12-12, 07:21 AM
In a group of mostly female characters that work for the government, have the PC's direct superior be a horrible pervert who's good in sneaking up on people and constantly says and does things that are creepy, but vague and never go far enough to give them base to file a complaint to someone higher up.

Totally Guy
2008-12-12, 07:33 AM
What I did in our last session was a sidequest where a witch needed help building her Gingerbread house...

I introduced this sidequest by having an ogre run off with a wall slab bump into the party.

"You see an ogre walking towards you. He's carrying a massive.... *unwraps clingfilm under the table* ...biscuit.

And then I placed the slab of gingerbread upon the ogre miniature. And it balanced perfectly.

My players found this hilarious and were in total awe.

Thiel
2008-12-12, 07:46 AM
I Dm'ed a D20 modern PbP game a couple of years ago. All the players was from the US, so I threw them a curve ball by setting the game in Scandinavia. Man did they get surprised when they got arrested for carrying firearms.

Klose_the_Sith
2008-12-12, 07:49 AM
Turn their companion into a Scooby Doo equivalent*

*Note that this might backfire if you get into an argument over whether or not they now get the mystery machine

DemonSlayer
2008-12-12, 08:13 AM
Elven paladin (introducing himself to the rest of the party): I am a paladin of Corallei... Corra... Corei...
DM(Me): What?
Elven paladin: Corallo... no that's not it...
DM: You're a paladin and don't know the name of your deity?
Elven paladin: Wait, I'll get it right... Carellio... No, that's not it...
DM: Fine. Roll a d6

*Rolls a 5*

DM: The sky turns black and a storm begins. You are struck by lightning for 5 damage. The sky clears again.

Same paladin, next session;

Black dragon; I know you have the dragon powder, where is it?
Elven paladin; We don't have it!
OOC: Oh wait, my paladin is forbidden to lie...
DM: You broke your paladin's code? You FALL!

5 minutes later I told him I was just kidding about the falling part...

Ascension
2008-12-12, 08:18 AM
I Dm'ed a D20 modern PbP game a couple of years ago. All the players was from the US, so I threw them a curve ball by setting the game in Scandinavia. Man did they get surprised when they got arrested for carrying firearms.

But were the characters from the US? Because if they were natives they should have known in character, if not out of character, that they shouldn't be carrying around guns.

Zenos
2008-12-12, 10:05 AM
I Dm'ed a D20 modern PbP game a couple of years ago. All the players was from the US, so I threw them a curve ball by setting the game in Scandinavia. Man did they get surprised when they got arrested for carrying firearms.

I'd love to do this to my players.

If it were not for
this: <@
And my players also being
this: <@

But maybe I can use it in Dark Heresy.

Totally Guy
2008-12-12, 11:22 AM
Turn their companion into a Scooby Doo equivalent*

*Note that this might backfire if you get into an argument over whether or not they now get the mystery machine

I used this trope once. There was a creature called the Mana Bird as the party mascot, it was a peacock. But the party ignored it and after couple of sessions of ignoring it I brought it back as the companion of a three little dwarf girl group of super sleuths. "A clue! We can solve the mystery!"

Heliomance
2008-12-12, 11:26 AM
DM: "Make a spot check, everyone. Okay, who got above 20?"
A couple of hands go up.
DM: "Okay, you guys notice - wait a minute, are those squirrels dancing?

Cue adventurer paranoia, the squirrels are obviously up to something, we should kill them, etc etc.

DM: "Everyone else notices the T-Rex charging towards you."

xPANCAKEx
2008-12-12, 11:49 AM
DM: "Make a spot check, everyone. Okay, who got above 20?"
A couple of hands go up.
DM: "Okay, you guys notice - wait a minute, are those squirrels dancing?

Cue adventurer paranoia, the squirrels are obviously up to something, we should kill them, etc etc.

DM: "Everyone else notices the T-Rex charging towards you."


bwhahahahahaha, excellent - +3 internetz to you

Hzurr
2008-12-12, 11:56 AM
"You see an ogre walking towards you. He's carrying a massive.... *unwraps clingfilm under the table* ...biscuit.

And then I placed the slab of gingerbread upon the ogre miniature. And it balanced perfectly.



See, this will teach me not to assume that people on these boards are from the US. I stared at this for a bit, trying to remember if I had ever heard of a gingerbread biscuit before. Then I remembered the whole biscuit/cookie things.

Thiel
2008-12-12, 12:14 PM
But were the characters from the US? Because if they were natives they should have known in character, if not out of character, that they shouldn't be carrying around guns.

I can't remember their particular backgrounds, but there were two Americans and a Brit. And they knew in advance that they were going to Scandinavia.

Galathir
2008-12-12, 12:35 PM
Once to twice I've picked up a d20 and asked a player "What's your bonus to spot checks"? Once he tells me, I just put down the dice and say "Oh, never mind then. So you continue down the hallway, right?"

A cursed ring in which the only effect it has is that it won't come off. Drives players crazy.

I also had a small carved ivory pipe that the players would see in random locations across the world. It had no significance, effect, or plot connection but the players were convinced that it was very important.

esorscher
2008-12-12, 01:01 PM
Illusion Air Trap. (from AGC) Have the party get sucked into a room. People start to notice they can't talk to one another (no sound.) People start turning blue. Fire affects won't work. Will save to disbelieve the air :smallsmile:

I did it. It didn't work out as well as I'd hoped. Nobody died.

Blackfang108
2008-12-12, 01:49 PM
-Ask the players if they can lend you a few D6's
-ask a player if they've ever considered playing a ranger

My DM once asked for EVERY d4 on the planet, for a damage roll against me.

I had my crowning moment of awesome for that character when, after 20 minutes of scouring the house for every d4 and then adding them up:

Level 10, 4e Starlock.

"You take...300 damage"
"No, I don't."
"What, How?
"It's all from one attack right?"
"Right."
"Shielding Shades."

:smallbiggrin:

He wasn't too happy about that.

Fax Celestis
2008-12-12, 01:51 PM
Vending machine in the middle of a dungeon. Put in 1 GP, get a vial of liquid. 25% chance it's a beneficial potion, 25% chance it's poison in a potion bottle, 50% it's a refreshing beverage.

On that note...

Tacoma
2008-12-12, 03:57 PM
I like using a REAL "Random Encounter" list:

"Stepping out of the bushes are a human bandit, a Slaad Tadpole, three Balors, and Pelor, God of the Sun. 'Your money or your life,' says Pelor, brandishing a club."

This is beautiful. Is fantastik. Is like best song played on prettiest guitar.

Blackfang108
2008-12-12, 04:00 PM
On that note...

Blast you, Fax!

Now I'm afraid to go near the vending machine at Work...

Winged One
2008-12-12, 04:31 PM
Blast you, Fax!

Now I'm afraid to go near the vending machine at Work...

Really? That makes you afraid of your vending machine? ...never, ever click on a homebrew topic started by The Vorpal Tribble.

SurlySeraph
2008-12-12, 04:35 PM
Really? That makes you afraid of your vending machine? ...never, ever click on a homebrew topic started by The Vorpal Tribble.

As I have mentioned many times, Vorpal's Broken (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10905) template scarred me. FOR LIFE.

Blackfang108
2008-12-12, 04:38 PM
As I have mentioned many times, Vorpal's Broken (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10905) template scarred me. FOR LIFE.

Actually, that one doesn't seem so bad.

And I got over it.

Needing a Coke overrode the fear.

I've made my saving throw, and never need ot make another.

Thank got for the Napoleon Complex's +10 to fear saves against objects and creatures of at least one size category larger.

snowbard55
2008-12-12, 08:20 PM
Some of my all time favorites that I've sprung...

1) Make a trap that fires gnome wizards at people. Gnome wizards that dislike medium sized creatures. Onto a party of a dwarf, a human, and a half-elf.

2) Have the BBEG self-destruct just before the party defeats him once and for all.

3) Have an NPC dressed as a commoner actually be an epic level barbarian, then put him in a situation where the players will inevitably anger him.

Then of course there's always the standard random smirks and die rolls. :smallbiggrin:

ericgrau
2008-12-12, 08:41 PM
"alright Everybody, we're playing Paranoia today!"
It's hilarious for the DM anyway...

You will smile or die. You might die anyway. Thrice.

Xallace
2008-12-12, 10:47 PM
A1: One of my favorites was to set up a "warning sign" that a certain type of enemy was approaching. A certain type of enemy that they had trouble (read: nearly died) with. Like an audible or visual clue. Use it a few times, until the PCs understand that clue = danger. Never use it for that creature/villain/trap again. Use it for something completely mundane, watch faces turn pale.

B1: Have very few NPCs actually know "Common," or simply refuse to use it.

B2: Occasionally equate real-world languages to DnD languages. Make the PC speak it. This is how I learned how little Spanish one of my PCs knew ("Er... Non hablas Espanol... mesa... verde... porfavore").

C1: Set PCs up against high-CR monster. Watch PCs obliterate it. Set now-cocky PCs up against well-planned goblins and/or kobolds. Enjoy.

D1: The "Dungeon of Many Things," wherein each door had the equivalent effect of one of the cards from the artifact of the same name. Leave cryptic clues as to what each door does. Have some doors switched. Make sure some are fake. Make absolute certain that there are rumors of great treasure at the end of the dungeon.

SoD
2008-12-13, 01:35 AM
Use the phrase 'appears to be' often. "You see what appears to be a harmless old man approaching' 'there doesn't appear to be any traps' 'it appears safe'. Makes the playes very paranoid.

And another favorite; "Uh, what's your marching order? OK...so the rogues at the back? Right. [roguename], what's your spot modifier? OK. *rolls dice*. Oh. What's your flat footed AC? OK. *rolls dice* Ooh. Let me just confirm that crit...*rolls dice* Oh. Oh dear. Give me a fortitude save...and a will save."
Rogue, severly panicing: "What??? What's happening to me?!"
Me: "Oh, nothing. Nothing important."

Excelent for when they stop paying attention.

Berserk Monk
2008-12-13, 01:40 AM
Once when my PCs where buying horses, I said as they enter the stables they see a male orc working there. They talked to the orc for a while and eventually one of them said something about the orc having a wife and to their amazement the orc said "I'm a woman!" Yeah, I made a joke about how butch all orc chicks are.

AngelSword
2008-12-13, 01:51 AM
One of the recent things I've done was having a strange song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7zoBaHqeQ8) being heard when they're near the coast. It's haunting, mournful, and puts the players on edge every time they hear it. They can't seem to find anyone else who hears it, let alone anyone who knows about it.

The song is actually the lamenting song of the Sea Goddess, Niskus, who was split in twain during the failed ascension of the Demon God, Decimes. The two parts of her body became the Storm Sisters, but her spirit remained, and once again longs for the reuniting of her body.

Nonetheless, it never fails to scare the crap out of the party.

Kemper Boyd
2008-12-13, 09:53 AM
Tell them at the beginning of the scenario they were ambushed and sold into slavery, and they no longer have any equipment or clothes.

Grail
2008-12-13, 10:09 AM
This didn't happen to me, nor was I in the game, but some of the guys that I roleplay with had this happen to them in another game.

The characters had been captured and imprisoned by Drow. They were to become slaves, or sacrificed or worse. With a cunning plan, the group managed to kill their guards, break free and make a run for it, running blindly through the underdark pursued by all sorts of nasties and effectively naked with a couple swords.

For a couple sessions, they dodge and weaved their way through the labyrinth until they finally found their way out and got back to the surface, fresh air and the sun.

On the second or third day after reaching their "freedom", one of them realised that the fresh air seemed a little musty, not like fresh air at all.

The group had never actually escaped, but were instead being duped by a number of hard-working illusionists who were creating a Drow Reality TV show for the nobles to watch and laugh about. So after a half-dozen sessions they found themselves back in the drow dungeons having accomplished absolutely nothing.

PurinaDragonCho
2008-12-13, 12:49 PM
One of the recent things I've done was having a strange song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7zoBaHqeQ8) being heard when they're near the coast. It's haunting, mournful, and puts the players on edge every time they hear it. They can't seem to find anyone else who hears it, let alone anyone who knows about it.

The song is actually the lamenting song of the Sea Goddess, Niskus, who was split in twain during the failed ascension of the Demon God, Decimes. The two parts of her body became the Storm Sisters, but her spirit remained, and once again longs for the reuniting of her body.

Nonetheless, it never fails to scare the crap out of the party.

That is exquisite.

I'm totally stealing that.

Drider
2008-12-13, 02:58 PM
Vending machine in the middle of a dungeon. Put in 1 GP, get a vial of liquid. 25% chance it's a beneficial potion, 25% chance it's poison in a potion bottle, 50% it's a refreshing beverage.

in 3.5, the poison is so weak, that unless it's crazy high level, I would gladly take the risk of a beneficial potion, depending on how strong it is.

Moriato
2008-12-13, 03:58 PM
On that note...

I remember this from the magic item compendiums in 2nd ed, Interesting to see a 3.x version. I miss some of the goofier magic items, like the omelette of the planes, or that damned cursed robe of blending.

snowbard55
2008-12-13, 07:50 PM
I havn't encountered this one myself, but I heard the story earlier today.

So, there was a party consisting of a gnome bard, a dwarf cleric, a human wizard, and a dwarf fighter. They had been sent by the local officials to look for some dissapearing commoners in the forest. In turned out that they were killed by a necromancer cult-like group and zombified. So there's a battle with a zombie horde, it goes pretty well with hacking, slashing, blasting, and turning until zombies begin to explode when hit. The players are understandebly upset and confused, especially when the cleric dies from an especially large chain reaction of zombie bombs. They manage to beat the zombies and question the DM as to her rationale behind these exploding zombies. She answered that the necromancers were a terrorist group.

Not incredibly funny, but a good idea...exploding zombies...I have to use that...

chiasaur11
2008-12-13, 08:02 PM
This didn't happen to me, nor was I in the game, but some of the guys that I roleplay with had this happen to them in another game.

The characters had been captured and imprisoned by Drow. They were to become slaves, or sacrificed or worse. With a cunning plan, the group managed to kill their guards, break free and make a run for it, running blindly through the underdark pursued by all sorts of nasties and effectively naked with a couple swords.

For a couple sessions, they dodge and weaved their way through the labyrinth until they finally found their way out and got back to the surface, fresh air and the sun.

On the second or third day after reaching their "freedom", one of them realised that the fresh air seemed a little musty, not like fresh air at all.

The group had never actually escaped, but were instead being duped by a number of hard-working illusionists who were creating a Drow Reality TV show for the nobles to watch and laugh about. So after a half-dozen sessions they found themselves back in the drow dungeons having accomplished absolutely nothing.

That's when you pull out "Smite Stupid".

I mean, one session... okay. But that? Not cool.

Grail
2008-12-13, 08:11 PM
That's when you pull out "Smite Stupid".

I mean, one session... okay. But that? Not cool.

The players apparently loved it. But in a kind of masochistic way.

wumpus
2008-12-13, 10:38 PM
in 3.5, the poison is so weak, that unless it's crazy high level, I would gladly take the risk of a beneficial potion, depending on how strong it is.

Quickly switch to 1.0 rules, where you would simply have to save vs. poison or die (not too hard for high level characters, but 1/20 would croak/need resurection (and check con tables)).

Epic_Wizard
2008-12-14, 04:30 PM
Here's a good one.

While walking, preferably through the forest or somewhere flat and/or not the mountains call for a spot check and reflex save. Rocks start falling around the party with no source or explanation. Then at the next town have them find out that the rocks were caused by a pair of epic level giants having a throwing contest from the nearest mountain range.:smallbiggrin:

holywhippet
2008-12-14, 06:16 PM
Hand out everyone a note that says "You aren't the one. Nod and hand this note back in about 30 seconds."


My DM did something like that in a game he ran for a different group. He'd introduced a ghost sorceress who tended to be very vindictive towards anyone who crossed her. Every so often he'd hand out notes suggesting one of the characters had been possessed by her. However, the players were under instruction not to reveal if it had been them. So every so often he'd hand out notes but have nobody be posssessed.

Mercenary Pen
2008-12-14, 06:33 PM
Mutter about not having enough dice, then ask your players if they can lend you 18 d12s.

KeresM
2008-12-14, 06:46 PM
I've done the note thing by handing a player a note that said "Glance at PlayerB and chuckle, scrawl something on this paper, and hand it back". I followed it up about twenty minutes later with a note to a different player that said "Frown at this note, then shrug, hand it back, and glance over at PlayerB."

Funny how PlayerB actually started thinking about what his character should do after that.

Irreverent Fool
2008-12-15, 09:58 AM
Vending machine in the middle of a dungeon. Put in 1 GP, get a vial of liquid. 25% chance it's a beneficial potion, 25% chance it's poison in a potion bottle, 50% it's a refreshing beverage.

This exists. It's called "The Cola" and is listed in the AD&D Encyclopedia Magica.

obnoxious
sig

Blackfang108
2008-12-15, 10:52 AM
Tell them at the beginning of the scenario they were ambushed and sold into slavery, and they no longer have any equipment or clothes.

For an additional hit, tell them that they have double starting Gold for their level.

and start them at level 5.

Totally Guy
2008-12-15, 12:37 PM
For an additional hit, tell them that they have double starting Gold for their level.

and start them at level 5.

Even better, play a world that has been having trouble with gold standard hyperinflation. Kids playing marbles and tiddlywinks with bags of gold as they can't afford real toys.

Jarrick
2008-12-15, 01:27 PM
DM: This room is mostly empty, except for a small wooden table with a single chair, in which sits a skeleton in full mariachi garb.

Not even an undead creature. My DM has a strange sense of humor.


DM: Upon bringing the key near the iron door, it speaks to you. "My Key! Quick! Unlock me!" Upon doing so the door picks itself up and runs out of the dungeon shouting "I'm Free! I'm Free!"


DM: (after a session-long buildup)The suspected cultists enter the old house, each bearing books and candles. Inside, they sit around a table and light the candles, each in turn opening their books. Their apparent leader stands up and, raising his hands into the air silently over the congregation, he speaks: "Ye find ye selves in yon dungeon... it looks to be worked stone of dwarven make..."

The_JJ
2008-12-15, 01:36 PM
I once had a DM who gave (in a low magic setting) a player a Soviet nuclear sub complete with torpedoes and ICBM's. And then... "So does your charactor know how to operate a submarine?" Cue another side quest at the genie's bidding to get the instruction manual.
"I read it!"
"Does your charactor speak Russian?"

Cue stunned looks. It was perfect, and they were all out of wishes too...

It became a running joke to, when we were playing other charactors in different settings, find Russian/Common Dictionaries in the random loot.

Magnor Criol
2008-12-15, 01:44 PM
DM: (after a session-long buildup)The suspected cultists enter the old house, each bearing books and candles. Inside, they sit around a table and light the candles, each in turn opening their books. Their apparent leader stands up and, raising his hands into the air silently over the congregation, he speaks: "Ye find ye selves in yon dungeon... it looks to be worked stone of dwarven make..."

Sounds familiar... (http://xkcd.com/244/)

Boci
2008-12-15, 01:50 PM
Always say "Are you SURE?" and having nothing bad happen. Then the PCs get to a cross in the road. Say that in one duirection they hear a dull thud repeatedly and that there is a faint acidic smell coming from the other tunnel. Ask them which way they want to go. As soon as they answer just nod and say, "Okay," in a bright manner, then begin to say the following sentance:

"As you walk down the tunnel you suddenly notice a huge diagram carved onto the wall"

See if you can get to the end of that sentance without being cut off by at least one PC.

PurinaDragonCho
2008-12-16, 06:48 PM
I just remembered this one.

I did this to a very good-aligned warlock character who was trying to unravel the mysteries of the source of his power. The party encountered a very powerful devil trapped in a summoning circle. The devil, of course, wanted to be freed. The devil and the warlock had a brief conversation, but everyone else heard gibberish. This devil had granted the PC the ability to speak and understand Infernal. It really freaked him out.

Immutep
2008-12-16, 08:07 PM
I like using a REAL "Random Encounter" list:

"Stepping out of the bushes are a human bandit, a Slaad Tadpole, three Balors, and Pelor, God of the Sun. 'Your money or your life,' says Pelor, brandishing a club."

HARSH!
Got room for one more at your table? I don't know why, but the opportunity to take on gods just sounds like something my Barbarian would never pass up on!

Crabs Magee
2008-12-16, 08:23 PM
My most favorite moment....

We were playing 4e, with four people. The player's characters where up to epic tier. They were fighting their way through a very long dungeon. At last, they reach the end and confront the evil mage. After a brief Roleplay encounter, they roll initiative, and the mage wins. He gestures with his hands and rocks fall on the party. They all fail their Reflex saves and die.


So the players roll up new characters, and get to about level 8 when they are told to investigate some commoners disappearing, They climb through a dungeon, finding it eerily abandoned yet, as one of the PC's put it 'familiar'. Finally, they reach the end only to find their old mage friend standing there. After another brief Roleplaying encounter, the mage gestures with his hand. All of them begin checking their Reflex value, but instead of rocks falling, the zombified corpses of their old characters came out from behind the mage's throne.

It was funny watching some level 8's try to make Diplomacy checks with epic-level zombies who had an intelligence of roughly 3. Needless to say, they were angrily rolling up new characters about two-and-a-half minuets later.

Eazy_AU
2008-12-16, 09:01 PM
I must confess one of the things that has led to me laughing the longest was so simple.
I was running a 2E beginners game through Pools of Radiance. A lot of the locations are mapped but have no content so i was forced to go through and create small encounters and dungeon dressing.
In one room i had a longsword embedded into an anvil. As it was the result of a failed experiment by a mage it radiated as strongly magical.
My players spent almost an hour in real time trying to remove the dungeon dressing!
Add to this the completely empty rooms (dust free as well) that kept appearing made them completely paranoid about "secret rooms full of treasure that we can't find!"
Also a big fan of the random dice rolling, asking players for their spot, search, listen mods, and "are you certain?".:smallbiggrin:

Waspinator
2008-12-17, 03:53 AM
I:
-Making random magical items intelligent. Including Potions.


I am so doing that. "Hi! I'm a potion of cure light wounds! I was told by my creator that I should tell any good adventurers who find me that they are free to use me to heal themselves! Hey, what are you doing with my stopper? You're going to what? My creator never mentioned "being drunk!" Please, don't do it! Arrrghhh! The saliva burns!"

For added effect, their stomach should moan for a few hours.

TheCountAlucard
2008-12-17, 05:18 AM
I am so doing that.

In one session, I had an intelligent potion bottle. Upon transferring a liquid to it, the bottle identifies it. However, the bottle is very moody, and often resentful at the adventurers who are constantly dumping it out and filling it with a fluid that could very well be ogre urine. The bottle also would enjoy certain effects from certain liquids, i.e. getting drunk when filled with alcoholic beverages.

Jinura
2008-12-17, 05:39 AM
Well i was DMing 3.5 last week with a group of 5 PCs, so they had just begun and this farmer came up and asked if they could help him with some wolves. They just ignored him and continued. Eventually they started a forest fire burning his farm down, whereafter kobolds came and killed his wife becuse they were moving away from their mine which had been caught in the fire to. His son joined the army whereafter he got killed by the PCs. His daughter was so poor she had to become a whore in the streets. So they got a quest to kill the poor farmer who turned out to be a gossiping ex-captain of the guard. Well they found out that all his bad fortune was becuse of them, one of them actully had his PC go away when the rest cold-blooded killed him...

Shademan
2008-12-17, 05:52 AM
Well i was DMing 3.5 last week with a group of 5 PCs, so they had just begun and this farmer came up and asked if they could help him with some wolves. They just ignored him and continued. Eventually they started a forest fire burning his farm down, whereafter kobolds came and killed his wife becuse they were moving away from their mine which had been caught in the fire to. His son joined the army whereafter he got killed by the PCs. His daughter was so poor she had to become a whore in the streets. So they got a quest to kill the poor farmer who turned out to be a gossiping ex-captain of the guard. Well they found out that all his bad fortune was becuse of them, one of them actully had his PC go away when the rest cold-blooded killed him...


Pure gold!

ShaneLeahy
2008-12-17, 06:33 AM
One of my favorites came from WEG Star Wars.

The characters were members of the Rebel Alliance and had just impressed thier superiors who decided to reward them and have them posted to an important base, Echo Base.

Two of the players just looked at me, since they really were into Star Wars. One of the others knew enough to ask...

'Echo Base, isn't that Hoth?'

DigoDragon
2008-12-17, 09:58 AM
After the players defeated an intelligent skeleton rogue, I had them carry his talking head around because only he knew where the BBEG's hideout was. Nothing like getting advice from a talking skull. :smallbiggrin:

toasty
2008-12-17, 10:12 AM
After the players defeated an intelligent skeleton rogue, I had them carry his talking head around because only he knew where the BBEG's hideout was. Nothing like getting advice from a talking skull. :smallbiggrin:

That was the coolest part of Moneky Island 3...

Jarrick
2008-12-20, 12:23 PM
One of the characters in my regular party is a warforged cleric of the silver flame (Eberron) with levels in the exorcist of the silver flame PrC. Our last session resulted in him casting a demon out of an NPC, which immediately fled into a nearby Khybersef (Christmas) tree. The party was very nearly killed by a Christmas tree.

Of course, my first Idea was to use Bhu's Figgy Pudding.