three08
2008-12-15, 03:46 PM
i feel like there has to be one of these somewheres already but i did a search and everything, and nothing. so - post here with your most memorably fantastic, failtastic or hilarious tabletop gaming encounter stories.
i am afraid i am going to receive a stern reprimand from a mod and have this post relocated to the actual thread, wherever it is, but i looked and couldn't find one so oh well. if there actually is not one, i will come back and outline some ground rules, but even for now i just want to spell out this one:
Please use Spoiler Tags if you are relating a story from a published adventure!
that said, allow me to launch into the story i wanted to share badly enough to go through all this rig-a-marole. the below occurs in the rise of the runelords campaign, in pathfinder, at around level 4:
our party is level 4. we have a gnome wizard riding a dog, a human bard, a human rogue, a human paladin (me), and a half-elf ranger 2/fighter 2. 4 trivially-leveled npc guardsmen accompany us. we are heading out of town on our way to an encounter, when the dm rolls for random encounters. he looks at his dice and says something along the lines of, "oh sh&^. can i really..." trails off, looks at some of his papers, thinks for a minute, and then says, "you hear a chilling, ear-splitting cry. roll a will save." >.> turns out it's a fear effect, dc 19. i, of course, am immune. the bard and the rogue save. the ranger and wizard, as well as one of the henchmen, do not. they're panicked for 5 rounds. what should fly out from behind a nearby hill but the sandpoint devil itself. it lands directly in front of me, and that's the surprise round.
the init goes me, rogue, bard, monster. the henchmen have exactly one influence on the outcome of the battle, to which i will presently get. me first, so i cast prot evil on myself. the rogue moves to flank. the bard starts inspiring courage. the monster's first action is the only time the henchmen do anything useful, because it happens one of them is right next to the bard, so the monster uses its breath weapon on them. 20 damage, and they are cursed for about three weeks. >.>
round two, i open with smite evil. now, for those unfamiliar with pathfinder, this ability works a little differently than standard 3.5. it's a 1-round buff that activates as a swift action and allows you to bypass all DR on evil creatures, add your cha bonus to attack rolls and AC, and your paladin level to damage rolls. so i smite, roll max damage with 14 str and a +1 longsword, which is 16. the rogue completes his flank and gets a sneak attack. the bard attempts to blind the thing, but it has a fort save of +10, so it fails. creature then makes a full-round attack against me. now, mind, this is a CR 8 mob making a full-round attack against a level 4. it wiffs completely. my AC at this point is 27 (7 from banded mail +1, 3 from a heavy shield +1, 1 from dex, 2 from prot evil, and 4 from smite).
round 3. once again, i smite evil. my attack roll is 19, and with all my bonuses i confirm the heck out of it. the dm uses a crit deck so the one i end up drawing is double damage and for the next 4 rounds, all crits autoconfirm. withall, i do 28 damage on this attack. the rogue goes for another sneak attack and his attack roll comes up 20. double damage and a 1-point bleed. the bard uses her last 2nd level spell cast in another attempt at blindness. the dc is 15. the thing's fort save is 10. it rolls - you guessed it - a 2. hammered from both sides, blinded, it tramples a couple of us heading out of combat, or attempts to. what with being blinded, it doesn't even hit the rogue. (does manage to mangle one of the henchmen, but who's even keeping track at this point?) unfortunately for it, this provokes attacks of opportunity from both myself and the rogue. since pathfinder's smite evil is a 1-round buff, my attack of opportunity is a smite, and since it's blind, the rogue's is a sneak attack, even though it's no longer flanked.
round 4. i move in and make a normal attack. the rogue moves in and makes a sneak attack. the bard tries a crossbow attack, rolls a 1, is cursed and so confirms the fumble, but, thank god, the fumble deck decides that she only drops the weapon. about dead, blind, pursued, it attempts to leap airborne and flee, but what with the new round and all, it absorbs two more attacks of opportunity. it lunges into the air, for about 30ft, and then plummets to the ground and stops moving.
twelve seconds AFTER the three of us lvl 4s dropped a CR 8 mob with 108 hits, DR 5, and a wicked breath weapon, the ranger and wizard are no longer panicked and return to the scene to steal two full shares of the 4800 exp, against all common decency. ...seriously, i should have gotten the full 1600, instead of just 960. bah. >.>
i am afraid i am going to receive a stern reprimand from a mod and have this post relocated to the actual thread, wherever it is, but i looked and couldn't find one so oh well. if there actually is not one, i will come back and outline some ground rules, but even for now i just want to spell out this one:
Please use Spoiler Tags if you are relating a story from a published adventure!
that said, allow me to launch into the story i wanted to share badly enough to go through all this rig-a-marole. the below occurs in the rise of the runelords campaign, in pathfinder, at around level 4:
our party is level 4. we have a gnome wizard riding a dog, a human bard, a human rogue, a human paladin (me), and a half-elf ranger 2/fighter 2. 4 trivially-leveled npc guardsmen accompany us. we are heading out of town on our way to an encounter, when the dm rolls for random encounters. he looks at his dice and says something along the lines of, "oh sh&^. can i really..." trails off, looks at some of his papers, thinks for a minute, and then says, "you hear a chilling, ear-splitting cry. roll a will save." >.> turns out it's a fear effect, dc 19. i, of course, am immune. the bard and the rogue save. the ranger and wizard, as well as one of the henchmen, do not. they're panicked for 5 rounds. what should fly out from behind a nearby hill but the sandpoint devil itself. it lands directly in front of me, and that's the surprise round.
the init goes me, rogue, bard, monster. the henchmen have exactly one influence on the outcome of the battle, to which i will presently get. me first, so i cast prot evil on myself. the rogue moves to flank. the bard starts inspiring courage. the monster's first action is the only time the henchmen do anything useful, because it happens one of them is right next to the bard, so the monster uses its breath weapon on them. 20 damage, and they are cursed for about three weeks. >.>
round two, i open with smite evil. now, for those unfamiliar with pathfinder, this ability works a little differently than standard 3.5. it's a 1-round buff that activates as a swift action and allows you to bypass all DR on evil creatures, add your cha bonus to attack rolls and AC, and your paladin level to damage rolls. so i smite, roll max damage with 14 str and a +1 longsword, which is 16. the rogue completes his flank and gets a sneak attack. the bard attempts to blind the thing, but it has a fort save of +10, so it fails. creature then makes a full-round attack against me. now, mind, this is a CR 8 mob making a full-round attack against a level 4. it wiffs completely. my AC at this point is 27 (7 from banded mail +1, 3 from a heavy shield +1, 1 from dex, 2 from prot evil, and 4 from smite).
round 3. once again, i smite evil. my attack roll is 19, and with all my bonuses i confirm the heck out of it. the dm uses a crit deck so the one i end up drawing is double damage and for the next 4 rounds, all crits autoconfirm. withall, i do 28 damage on this attack. the rogue goes for another sneak attack and his attack roll comes up 20. double damage and a 1-point bleed. the bard uses her last 2nd level spell cast in another attempt at blindness. the dc is 15. the thing's fort save is 10. it rolls - you guessed it - a 2. hammered from both sides, blinded, it tramples a couple of us heading out of combat, or attempts to. what with being blinded, it doesn't even hit the rogue. (does manage to mangle one of the henchmen, but who's even keeping track at this point?) unfortunately for it, this provokes attacks of opportunity from both myself and the rogue. since pathfinder's smite evil is a 1-round buff, my attack of opportunity is a smite, and since it's blind, the rogue's is a sneak attack, even though it's no longer flanked.
round 4. i move in and make a normal attack. the rogue moves in and makes a sneak attack. the bard tries a crossbow attack, rolls a 1, is cursed and so confirms the fumble, but, thank god, the fumble deck decides that she only drops the weapon. about dead, blind, pursued, it attempts to leap airborne and flee, but what with the new round and all, it absorbs two more attacks of opportunity. it lunges into the air, for about 30ft, and then plummets to the ground and stops moving.
twelve seconds AFTER the three of us lvl 4s dropped a CR 8 mob with 108 hits, DR 5, and a wicked breath weapon, the ranger and wizard are no longer panicked and return to the scene to steal two full shares of the 4800 exp, against all common decency. ...seriously, i should have gotten the full 1600, instead of just 960. bah. >.>