My heavens, it has been ages since I’ve held a writing implement. Literal ages, as a matter of fact! It feels so good to finally be able to put my thoughts down somewhere again, to have thoughts other than pain and desire for vengeance and hunger for the flesh and souls of helpless mortals! It feels good to be doing things, to be alive, to be out of that festering brimstone hole in the ground! Praise the saints and angels and clouds and mortals and…and everything! Goodness, I just feel so fantastic I want to wrap my arm’s around some mortal’s throat and squeeze until he-
-No. No, that’s the wrong kind of thoughts. That’s the sort of thinking that got you into this mess in the first place, bad Sirtch. We’re repenting for all of that, remember? We hug the mortals, not choke them. You gently press your arms against the thorax, you don’t apply pressure to the throat with hands or claws. We’re redeeming your soul, not damning someone else’s.
Anyways, I’m sorry about that, diary. I guess I’ve still got quite a road ahead of me before I’ve redeemed myself in the Deus-Man’s eyes, huh? Yep, it’s quite a long, bumpy, exciting road. Everybody’s already saying “Lightbringer? Nah, he won’t last five minutes out in the Nexus before he beheads some little girl’s kitten and pins it on her neighbor Bobby and sends her off on a roaring rampage of revenge.”
No seriously diary, someone said that. They said every last insensitive, heart-wrenching, demoralizing word, just like that. It’s kinda hurtful and disappointing to hear what the seraphs and cherubim and everyone up there thinks of me…but I’m determined to prove them wrong! Yeah, no more Mr. Not-So-Nice-Guy! This leopard’s going to change his spots, claim his halo, and maybe even climb all the way back to his old job as G-Man’s number two guy someday!
For now though, I’ve gotta think small. I have to stick by this plan, have to figure out how I’m gonna resist temptation and get my act together. Thanks to the marvels of mortal technology, I have this nifty lightning-box to carve and save messages, but mortal technology’s only going to get me so far and-Whoa, what’s this MagSat thing?
…The mortals have lightning-boxes in space now?! And they have eyes, and I can pay a monthly fee in mortal currency to see pictures taken from this lightning-box’s eye? Wow, my redemption officer never mentioned this when he gave me that tour. This is…this is amazing, diary. To think, these guys were carving ten laws into a lump of rock only a few millennia ago…Mortals are capable of extraordinary things when not being led astray to sin, diary! Hey, there’s a Maggypedia here with all sorts of information, too! I’m going to go look it over for a few minutes.
A few hours later
Man, did I ever lose track of time, diary! I am sooooo sorry for that! You just wouldn’t BELIEVE all the information mortals have lying around on this “Magnet” thing. Apocalypse records, political archives, mortal organizations with crazy acronym names…it’s just ridiculous how much information the mortals have to share with each other! And anyone can edit this stuff, too! I have no idea how they keep people from just making things up on it!
Anyways, I found out from Maggypedia that there’s this place called ‘GLoG.’ It’s one of those acronyms, the name stands for Good League of Good. They do healing, apocalypse aid, lodgings for the sick and destitute, and here’s the big one…REDEMPTIONS! I am so lucky, diary! I mean, I don’t want to sound cocky or anything, but if gambling weren’t a vice, I’d bet you my entire allowance of mortal monies that the Trinity Boss-Man is totally smiling down on me right now. We’re heading to GLoG right now, you and I, and with the help of those mortals, these are going to beat this redemption thing, you hear me diary? We’re going to win!