Quote Originally Posted by Asthix View Post
Critique of Zolkabro's A Day in the Life of a Library Book
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A book's life, with Toy Story laws of physics and ugly duckling subtext. I liked it, perhaps because one can apply whatever stigma they want to 'the shame' of doodles. I particularly enjoyed reading between the lines for the phrase, "I was young, naive. That was before the doodling."

You reinforce that all the other books are mean about the doodles, but you never give the main character any reason to not be ashamed of them. The doodle plot-line features prominently, but you donít go anywhere with it, character-wise.

The phrase, "He read me once, and loved me. He read me countless times, which was very flattering." does not contradict itself, but 'flattering' is an adjective, not an action word so it is a little clunky following 'loved' which is an action word.

ďthe pictures drawn around my blurb.Ē is very clever. Itís definitely the high point of the story for me. I can see how a specific word count would be difficult to achieve while still maintaining the narrative you want, overall I think you did fine.
Yay, first critique!

Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad you liked it.
I get what you mean with the bit about me not going anywhere with the plot, but I decided that with such a small word-count I shouldn't have a major plotline.

Also, to fix the other problem, would "which flattered me very much" work instead?