Quote Originally Posted by Kallisti View Post
Thanks. You're very kind.

You really think "this day" is better? I think it sounds a little less mundane, but that the stress on "this" sounds off. Ordinarily you stress the "day" in today but today doesn't sound too bad--this day makes it sound like I'm emphasizing the 'this', which is not my intention. I keep wanting it to be "the only gift I have to give," but that would throw off the rhyme scheme...
I think that stressing the first syllable of today just doesn't sound right. You can do it, sure, but it doesn't come naturally, and the pacing of a poem has to come naturally, because you can't have the author peering over their shoulder going "No, it's like this!"
People will read it how it fits best in their minds, , and today doesn't fit anywhere near as well as this day. Even if it does after thought, it needs to straight off.