1. - Top - End - #248
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Cristo Meyers's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Chicagoland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Playground Writers Workshop (Read 1st Post)

    Quote Originally Posted by SamBurke View Post
    Can I have a link, then... I'm probably looking in the wrong place.
    I think this is the roster here.

    Debating putting some of my own stuff up, if there's freebie slots left. Mayhap if things don't pick up in the next few days.

    *edit

    Figure I could actually contribute something instead of standing smug on the sidelines , though I was never very good at putting this kind of stuff into words

    Critique of The Vision by Omeganaut

    Spoiler
    Show
    There's a kind of wry cynicism to the ending that I really enjoyed (and it has nothing to do with working as a cubicle wage-slave myself...nope...no-sir-ee...), and that humor sticks pretty well throughout the passage: the voice coming on "strong as any announcer" had me smiling and immediately thinking of a game show announcer (My new prophet...COME ON DOWN!)

    I'm not sure how well this stands on its own, though. It seemed like an opening to something, rather than a stand alone passage. Which, of course, may have been the intent. If so, ignore me.


    I won't try and say that this counts as a critique, I know next to nothing about critiquing poetry:

    Untitled Rondel by Kallisti

    Spoiler
    Show
    The only thing that stood out to me was the use of "misspent". I keep thinking that maybe instead of invoking the "time well wasted" adage you should just go with "spent."

    But, again, know next to nothing about poetry.
    Last edited by Cristo Meyers; 2011-06-16 at 08:50 PM.