Robe of Useless Items: Can really take the form of any clothing that contains pockets (Belt, perhaps a Bag), but that's not important. This Robe has pockets from which it's wearer can pull nearly any mundane item, though the item extracted is guarenteed to be completely useless (or at the very least, the most unhelpful) for the current situation.

Examples: Person is on fire, robe produces an unlit torch.
Person is under water, robe produces a bucket.
Person is falling to their death, robe produces Caltrops.