...Woah. Okay, while a lot of this is really, really flavorful, I have to say that you've taken a Tier 1 class and tried to shoehorn him -really- hard into a Tier 1/2, which is really gonna hurt that Barbarian who's only a decent T3. Just...a lot of this stuff is incredibly powerful. I think I'm gonna have to go through step by step. I'm gonna be a bit vicious in how I do this, but my kneejerk reaction was 'NONONONO.' So, I'll be going through him with a knife, but I'm doing it with -love.-

Without further ado, everything has been split up into spoilers...

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Quote Originally Posted by Milo v3 View Post
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Class Skills
The Clericís class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Concentration (Con), Craft (Int), Decipher Script (Int), Diplomacy (Cha), Heal (Wis), Knowledge (arcana) (Int), Knowledge (history) (Int), Knowledge (nobility) (Int), Knowledge (religion) (Int), Knowledge (the planes) (Int), Listen (Wis), Profession (Wis), Sense Motive (Wisdom), Spellcraft (Int).

Skill Points at First Level: (6 + Int modifier)
Well. I've always said Clerics don't get enough skill points, but I still have to point out a few things. First of all-this is 6+Int Skill points every level, right? Clerics are not meant to be skill monkeys. If anything, give the followers of the Knowledge Domain extra skill points, or give them Skill Focus in some of these, rather than just giving them enough skill points to challenge Wizards in knowledge and Bards in being the face. Or let them add their wisdom modifier to get more skill points, but only applied to certain skills. (Like Sense Motive, Diplomacy, and Knowledge(Religion), which all Clerics are typically supposed to have.)


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Weapon and Armour Proficiencies: Clerics are proficient with all simple weapons, with all types of armour (light, medium, and heavy), and with shields (except tower shields).
In addition the Cleric is also proficient with his deityís favoured weapon, regardless of it being a simple, martial, or exotic weapon.
Eh. This is more personal opinion than anything else-why do even the Clerics of Boccob and Yondalla, the two with the least business doing anything with warfare, get plate mail? I'd personally move that they're proficient with light armor, but can cast in heavier without ASF. Put it as a power of the martial domains, perhaps. Weapon Proficiency in the diety's favored weapon, however, is never something to be ignored. Perhaps an added note that dieties who have fists as their favored weapon gain Improved Unarmed Strike.


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Domains: A clericís deity influences his what magic he can perform, his gifts, and how he can channel energy. A cleric chooses two domains from among those belonging to his deity and any other domain which isn't on your patron's forbidden list. A cleric can only select an alignment domain (Chaos, Evil, Good, or Law) if his alignment matches that domain.
Ah, the meat of the issue here. You're expanding something which is already the Cleric's biggest strength-his Domains. They're not only more powerful than they were, but you're letting them take extra? How about you at least spread them out, rather than giving them all to him at 1st level? Make them choose between the major gifts of each domain, or the greater versatility the domains grant them? Heck, that could be quite a fix right there-grant them a single domain from their diety at first level, and then make them choose between the greater abilities granted from specializing in that, or taking the minor gifts and the added spell choices.


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A cleric may attempt to use this ability a number of times per day equal to 5 + his Wisdom modifier. A cleric with 5 or more ranks in a Knowledge skill gets a +2 insight bonus on turning checks against creatures which can be identified with that skill.
Any particular reason for changing this from the prior 3+CHA modifier? 5 + Wisdom turns it from 'I can do this pretty often' to 'I can do this all day and not break a sweat. Divine Metamagic boosters, go!' I'd say that it's not broke-don't fix it. Well, actually, it's already a little broken. DMM proves that.


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Bestow Guidance (Sp): A Clericís duty is to spread the teachings of his lord, and through his power, guidance can be granted upon them. A Cleric of 2nd level or above can expend a standard action to grant a willing adjacent creature a +1 bonus to a single Attack Roll, Saving Throw or Skill check. Which roll this grants bonus to be chosen when the ability is used. The bonus lasts 1 hour or until expended. This can be used a number of times per day equal to 3 + your Wisdom Modifier.
...You know, I can't see much wrong with this. It's a nice little flavorful thing. Just be sure to mention what -type- of bonus it is. (Insight? Divine? The name leads me towards Insight.)


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Master of Literacy (Ex): Clerics were the first mortals to be given the gifts of language and scripts, as such they have great skill in those regards. Upon reaching 2nd level, a Cleric can understand every written language and gains a +4 insight bonus to Decipher Script checks.
I'd...have a lot more problem with this if it weren't for the fact that Comprehend Language is a 1st level spell, and this is only for -written- languages. Be sure to specify that it's not for the spoken word. Like I said, you have a lot of flavorful things here, and they make it hard to hate for having more abilities.


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Channel Divinity (Su): Clerics can not only manipulate divine energy to manipulate creature, they can also channel the divine energy to harm with a touch. At 3rd level, a Cleric can make a touch attack as a standard action, if this attack hits, the target is dealt 1d8 energy damage. Which type of energy damage it deals is chosen by the Cleric when being used, but only those which are allowed by his domain.

A Cleric can channel divinity a number of times per day, equal to a third of his cleric level (Rounded Down) plus his wisdom modifier (Minimum 0).

At 6th level and every three levels thereafter, the damage dealt by this ability is increased by 1d8.
I really have to say you should change this in some way. The damage is pretty much laughable, even at the level you get it, even when it starts getting stronger regularly. There's also the fact that this is an ability that not every Cleric can get, if they don't choose the air/water/earth/fire domains. Why not just make this one of the minor abilities in those domains, rather than putting it here?


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Patronís Vessel (Su): At the cost of 25 gp a 3rd level Cleric can spend a standard action to make a material infused with divine essence. The materials which can be used are determined by Clerics domains. Regardless of the material, this functions as Holy Water.

If you have the death, evil, fiend, repose, renewal, or undeath domain, you can choose to create Unholy Water.
Not really a problem here per-se, but why is Renewal one of the domains that lets you create Unholy Water?


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Master of Scripture (Sp): Upon attaining 4th level, a Cleric can cast Amanuensis and Read Magic as a Spell-Like Ability at-will. The caster level for this ability is equal to your cleric level. In addition he gains Scribe Scroll as a bonus feat.
Eeeh...I'm still sketchy on letting him have spells at will, but these are 0th level. He is scripture-heavy though, no doubt about that.


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Minor Domain Gift: At 5th level, a Cleric gains access to the Minor Gift of one Domain of his choice.
See 'Domains' for my thoughts on how to split this up.


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Divine Favour (Ex): When a Cleric of 6th level uses Bestow Guidance, the bonus granted is equal to the Clericís class level divided by 3.
Specify to round down, please. Also, keeping in mind that this is a floating, hours-lasting +6, perhaps make the Divine Favour last 10 minutes/level instead of 1 hour/level? It's a minor change, but it shifts this from 'mandatory to use at the beginning of the day' ability to 'This is pretty handy for when we're about to go somewhere dangerous.'


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Patronís Vengeance (Ex): As you grow in power, your patron grants you skill with his favoured weapon. At 7th level, you gain Weapon Focus (Deities Favoured Weapon) as a bonus feat.
I keep thinking of the fluffier gods here whenever things like this pop up. Yondalla wouldn't want you hitting someone over the head as hard as you could. Olidimarra would frown on you knifing someone rather than tricking them. I have no good way to fix this, as you seem intent on adding a trick at every level, and Weapon Focus is far from a game-breaking feat...but it just seems wrong to include it even for the peaceful or trickster dieties.


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Atonement (Ex): At 9th level, a Cleric grant those who have fallen a chance at redemption. This functions as the Atonement Spell. This ability has a caster level equal to cleric level and can be used a number of times per day equal you his Wisdom Modifier.
Situational spell only useful once in a blue moon? Check. A -little- suspicious that it's so many times per day...but if you're legitimately using it that many times a day, something's wrong with your populace. No problems with it, but again, it's not useful for EVERY Cleric. What about the Clerics of dark, evil, yucky gods? It's fluff, but I'm feeling like it's misplaced fluff.


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Genius (Su): Tiny remnants of divine energy are trapped in your body, granting you a divine spark. Upon reaching 8th level, a Cleric may cast level zero cleric spells without having to prepare them. Spells cast in this way do not expend spell slots.

At 16th level, the Cleric may cast level one cleric spells without having to prepare them. Spells cast in this way do not expend spell slots.
Replace Cure Minor Wounds with Stabilize, and we're golden on 0th level spells. 1st level spells are a bit more tricky...but at 16th level, you should already be so full of healing that you burst. I'm more worried about infinite Divine Favor and such, that have a duration of minutes. Perhaps just a hefty boost to 1st level spells, or just leaving them out altogether? Or just let them have a -selection- of spells to use at will. Like Bless and Protection from Good/Evil at will. Remember that they get spells-you don't need so much fluffy fluff. Heck, you could even add to the list of 'level 1 spells that don't expend slots' as moderate gifts for a lot of domains.


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Deific Wisdom (Sp): At 9th level, a Cleric can cast Augury 1/day as a Spell Like Ability. This abilities caster level is 15.
I like it. Kudos. But is there any reason why the CL is 15, rather than...well...the caster's level?


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Domain Gift: At 10th level a Cleric gains access to the Domain Gift of the Domain you selected for Minor Domain Gift. In addition he gains the Minor Domain Gifts of each of his domains.
Again, see Domains. This is where I feel he should be getting a third domain if he so chooses to forego domain gifts.


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Shield of Faith (Su): Upon attaining 10th level, a Cleric becomes immune to death spells, magical death effects, energy drain, and negative levels. In addition to the cleric gaining this protection, all adjacent allies gain the effects as well.
Ahahahaha, no. No way. This is giving him a constant 4th level spell for free when he's still casting 5th? And...oh, wait.

At 13th level, the benefits of this ability are granted to all allies within 30 feet.
You want to give him the equivalent of Mass Death Ward. I say thee nay, villain! And again, not every God is going to want to give protection against death effects! Or it may be completely outside the purview of some! Generalize, not specialize! This would be far better suited as a moderate gift of Glory or Sun.


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Aura of Faith (Su): All allies within 30 feet of an 11th level Cleric gains the Benefit of his Minor Domain Gifts.

At 20th level, all allies within 30 feet of the Cleric gains the benefits of his Minor Domain Gifts and his Domain Gifts.
I'll reserve judgement on this one until I can see all the Domain Gifts, but this seems like too much. If you're going to boost up their Turn Undead so much, how about making this one of the uses? Grant all allies within 30 feet the benefits of your Minor/Major Domain gifts for a number of minutes equal to your Cleric level at the cost of 1-3 Turn Undead uses?


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Deific Insight (Sp): At 11th level, a Cleric can cast Commune 3/day as a Spell Like Ability. This abilities caster level is 15.
See Augury. Also, 3/day? Please limit that a bit-Gods generally don't like to be called on so often.


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Crusaders Blade (Sp): A Cleric of 12th level can undergo an hour long ritual which converts a weapon into a force of spirituality. After completing this ritual the weapon deals divine damage rather than bludgeon, piercing, or slashing (Other forms of damage remain unchanged). This can only work on the favoured weapon of your patron. The effects of this ritual stop, if it hasnít been in contact with a cleric who enacted the ritual for 1 day.
I -love- it. Just be sure to specify whether or not other energy damage is converted as well. Also be sure to let Evil Clerics have their Unholy damage as well...


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Paragon Symbol (Su): Upon attaining 13th level, any Holy Symbol in a Clericís Possession gains additional Hit Points and Hardness equal to double the Clericís class level. In addition any non-magical material touched by the Symbol is affected by Patronís Vessel if it is a suitable target.
Again, I can't hate on this. The only thing I would say is...move it earlier. If you take half my advice, you're going to end up with...well, they're never dead levels for casters, but at least emptier levels. And Holy Water is hardly gamebreaking.


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Children of the Gods (Sp): At 14th level, a Cleric can call creatures from his masterís domain to serve him. This functions as the Lesser Planar Ally Spell. This ability has a caster level equal to cleric level and can be used once per day.

At 17th level, this ability functions as Planar Ally. At 19th level, this ability functions as Greater Planar Ally.
Not bad. This is nice and fluffy, and at these levels, Clerics can legitimately ask angels/devils for favors. But be sure to specify whether or not they still have to spend the XP costs. I would move for a removal of Greater Planar Ally, though. Let them have to legitimately call for the big guys.


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Servantís Passasge (Sp): A Cleric of 14th level can create a portal to his patronís realm. This functions as the Gate Spell except it can only be used for travel to his patrons homeplane. This ability has a caster level equal to cleric level and can be used once per day.
Emphasis mine. Anyway...I don't see this being such a good idea. You're effectively giving them a 'get out of trouble free' card, or at least a major fallback plan that most can't counter. How about a Word of Recall that can be used 1/week instead, taking him to the nearest temple of his diety? Less reliable for a run away plan, and less...infringing on dieties than simply popping in on them whenever they want.


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Major Domain Gift: At 10th level a Cleric gains access to the Major Gift of the Domain you selected for Minor Domain Gift. In addition he gains the Domain Gift of each of his domains.
You know my opinion by now.


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Raise Dead (Sp): At 16th level, a Cleric can call the dead back from the afterlife. This functions as the Raise Dead Spell. This ability has a caster level equal to cleric level and can be used once per week.
At this level, I'm all for it. Just be sure to specify whether or not he has to spend the component cost.


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Miracle Bringer (Su): Upon reaching 18th level, a Cleric can make Miracles happen with but a whisper. This functions as the Miracle spell except it can be cast as an immediate action. This power can be used a number of times per month equal to your Wisdom Modifier.
I am...torn on this one. I want to say no, but then again, it's your get out of free card that's only usable in -months.-

I give it a tentative pass, but be sure to specify that they still pay the XP cost, and that their Diety may frown upon them if they abuse this power...


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Resurrection (Sp): At 19th level, a Cleric can call the dead back from the afterlife even if there body was destroyed. This functions as the Resurrection Spell. This ability has a caster level equal to cleric level and can be used once per month.
See Raise Dead.


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Avatar (Su): Upon reaching the pinnacle of his power, the Cleric becomes part of his patron. A Cleric of 20th level gains several benefits:
  • Counts as an Outsider, instead of the Clericís normal type if it would be beneficial.
  • +30 ft. Bonus to Base Land Speed
  • Immunity to Mind-Affect Effects and Petrification.
  • +5 Bonus on saves against Poison.
  • Spell Resistance 20
  • Acid, Cold, Electricity, and Fire Resistance 10.


In addition to the above, the Cleric can take the appearance of his patron as a move action. All creatures with a line of sight to the Cleric that oppose his deity are Shaken for one day (No Save). The Cleric may remain in this form for a number of rounds per day equal to 5 * your Wisdom score. This can be ended as a free action.
I have to point out a few problems here. Counts as an Outsider 'if it would be beneficial.' Do expand on that, otherwise you're going to run into that one guy that's suddenly immune to everything because 'it doesn't affect outsiders!' or 'It doesn't affect humanoids!' I'd also bump the SR, because that's quite pathetic for a form that's activated at will-if it's going to be a capstone, let -every- part of the capstone be impressive. At least to 32, which is the same he'd get from a level 20 Spell Resistance spell. Shaken is cool. Add that the Elemental resistances stack. Perhaps let him have some buffs to his stats while he's in his outsider form? As it is, something that can be held for a few minutes is...wait.

Is that 5 * your wisdom -score- or your wisdom -modifier?- That's an important distinction, though everything I've said still holds.


As it is, I feel this class is just too overwhelmingly tier 1, especially as he gains levels. Quadratic Wizards nothing, you made this guy -exponential.- Remove the specific stuff from a class that's supposed to be a generalist, adjust the fluff, and you'd have a solidly interesting Cleric to play. You didn't do a bad job, mind-you just seemed to get carried away with wanting to put every single bit of interesting idea you could into him.