I like haiku, so I suggest you read this at least before making any more if you do too.
It's certainly interesting, however modern school english haku enjoys some freedoms which creates more to my creativity. However, I'm planning to learn Japanese at some point, so that would expand my haiku horizons some more
Originally Posted by Komodo
Like it? I love it.
This is a lovely little series, with a good mix of the serious and the silly. The second stanza does capture the scene very well, but to me the fourth stanza is the very best. Perhaps that's because it works the best when read outside of context, or perhaps it's because it has the best concluding line ever. Seriously, I laughed when I reached that line.
The third stanza seems weaker to me; I'm not sure how well the one-word final line flows with the rest of it, and "wiles" sounds like a two syllable word in my head. Yeah, I looked it up, it's a one-syllable deal, but it still throws me off a bit. As a whole though, the series paints creates an atmospheric and flowing scene. I'm keeping this. Thanks so much!
glad you love it! Yeah, I had much fun with the last line as well (got it fairly early in the process). On the one word line, it helps to pretend to be a wise old man of the asian persuasion and then reading it out loud. Then it all makes sense