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    Titan in the Playground
     
    DracoDei's Avatar

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    May 2007
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    Default Laughing Uvula and Muscle Mass

    Laughing Uvula((Approximately as silly as Jack Nicholson's portrayal of The Joker. Also, I am considering changing the name to GIGGLING Uvula, but that reduces the ROFL reference since that is Rolling On the Floor LAUGHING, not giggling.))
    Spoiler
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    ~
    Laughing Uvula, Fine
    Laughing Uvula, Diminutive
    Laughing Uvula, Tiny
    Laughing Uvula, Small
    Size and Type
    Fine Undead [Organ Undead]
    Diminutive Undead [Organ Undead]
    Tiny Undead [Organ Undead]
    Small Undead [Organ Undead]
    Hit Dice
    1/4d12 (1 hp)
    1/3d12 (2 hp)
    1/2d12 (3 hp)
    1d12 (6 hp)
    Speed
    10 ft.*
    15 ft.*
    20 ft.*
    20 ft.*
    Initiative
    +1
    +0
    -1
    -2
    AC
    19 (+1 Dex, +8 size); touch 19; flat-footed 18
    14 (+4 size); touch 14; flat-footed 14
    11 (-1 Dex, +2 size); touch 11; flat-footed 11
    9 (-2 Dex, +1 size); touch 9; flat-footed 9
    BAB
    +0
    +0
    +0
    +0
    Grapple
    -21
    -16
    -12
    -7
    Attack
    Tickling Touch +9 melee touch (Hideous Laughter DC 10**)
    Tickling Touch +4 melee touch (Hideous Laughter DC 11**)
    Tickling Touch +1 melee touch (Hideous Laughter DC 13**)
    Tickling Touch -1 melee touch (Hideous Laughter DC 19**)
    Space/Reach
    1/2 ft./0 ft.
    1 ft./0 ft.
    2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
    5 ft./5 ft.
    Special Attacks
    Tickling Touch
    Tickling Touch
    Tickling Touch
    Tickling Touch
    Special Qualities
    Dark Vision 60 ft., Undead Traits, Soft, Special Turn Resistance = 2
    Dark Vision 60 ft., Undead Traits, Soft, Special Turn Resistance = 1
    Dark Vision 60 ft., Undead Traits, Soft, Special Turn Resistance = 1
    Dark Vision 60 ft., Undead Traits, Soft, Turn Resistance +1
    Saves
    Fort +0, Ref +1, Will +2
    Fort +0, Ref +0, Will +2
    Fort +0, Ref -1, Will +2
    Fort +0, Ref -2, Will +2
    Abilities
    Str 1, Dex 12, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
    Str 2, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
    Str 3, Dex 8, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
    Str 5, Dex 6, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
    Skills
    Move Silently =-5***
    Move Silently =-5***
    Move Silently =-5***
    Move Silently =-5***
    Feats
    Weapon Finesse(B)
    Weapon Finesse(B)
    Weapon Finesse(B)
    Weapon Finesse(B)
    Environment
    Any
    Any
    Any
    Any
    Organization
    Any
    Any
    Any
    Any
    Challenge Rating
    1/2
    1/3
    1/3
    1/2
    Treasure
    None
    None
    None
    None
    Alignment
    Always Neutral Evil
    Always Neutral Evil
    Always Neutral Evil
    Always Neutral Evil
    Advancement
    ~
    ~
    ~
    ~
    Level Adjustment
    ~
    ~
    ~
    ~
    * If the source creature had a swim speed, replace this with an equal swim speed, then add a land speed of 5 feet.
    ** If the Types of the Target of the attack, the source creature the uvula was taken from, and the caster(s) of both the Animate Dead and Hideous Laughter are all the same, the target takes a -4 penalty on this saving throw.
    *** Due to constantly emitting the sound of maniacal laughter, laughing uvulae do not actually roll move silently checks. Instead they are treated as having a check result of -5 after the die roll, racial modifiers, ability score ranks, etc. but BEFORE any competence modifiers, situational modifiers (such as distance from the listener or intervening obsticles), etc.

    This vaguely conical bit of bloodless flesh rolls around in a spastic manner. The sound of maniacal laughter emanates from it*, despite it lacking any complex structure to serve as vocal apparatus.
    *It is literally "Rolling On (the) Floor Laughing" AKA ROFLing.

    Soft (Ex): Laughing Uvulae can not make unarmed strikes and do not have any natural weapons. (Note that they also have no way of wielding manufactured weapons.)

    Special Turn Resistance(Su?): This works like normal turn resistance, except that it REPLACES the racial HD if it is less than it, rather than adding to it. If the racial HD is equal to or greater than it, it does not have any effect. In either case normal Turn Resistance and other sources of hit-die are applied after this. Because they have the Organ Undead subtype, this ability effects how many hitdice they count as having for purposes of creating them, control pools, etc.

    Tickling Touch (Su): A creature with an intelligence score of 3 or greater touched by a laughing uvula must make a will save or fall prone, laughing maniacally, and may not take any actions for a number of rounds based on the uvula's size (see following table, which also lists DCs). The victim is NOT considered helpless during this time, and after it they may act normally. This is a [Mind-Affecting] Compulsion effect. The save DC is very unusual, and is 7+(12*Racial Hit-Die) for a normal laughing uvulae. Expanded out this is 10 plus a 2 point racial bonus, -5 for being charisma based, and plus 12 times the racial hit-dice (DO NOT include any RHD from templates!). If the Types of the Target of the attack, the source creature the uvula was taken from, and the caster(s) of both the Animate Dead and Hideous Laughter are all the same, the target takes a -4 penalty on this saving throw.

    Size DC(*) Duration Source Creature Size
    Fine
    10(14)
    1 round Small, Medium, or Large
    Diminutive
    11(15)
    2 rounds Huge
    Tiny
    13(17)
    3 rounds Gargantuan
    Small
    19(23)
    4 rounds Colossal
    *You can use this second DC as a mathematically equivalent substitute for the -4 penalty to the the save that occurs when the Types of the target, source creature from which the uvula was taken, and caster(s) of both Animate Dead and Hideous Laughter all match.

    This effect counts as Hideous Laughter for the purposes of Spell Immunity and other such things. Its mechanics are very close, but diverge noticably regarding the rules for how it works on various types of creatures.

    Organ Undead: For purposes of controlling or creation add the base racial turn resistance of an undead with this subtype to its hitdice in all cases rather than only for turning/rebuking/commanding/destroying. Note especially that this applies to how many hitdice worth of the Animate Dead control pool it takes up.

    Undead with this subtype often require additional spells to create in the simplest way, in addition to skill (or luck) with cutting up inanimate corpses to remove the organ.

    Skills: Due to contantly emitting the sound of maniacal laughter, laughing uvulae do not actually roll move silently checks. Instead they are treated as having a check result of -5 after the die roll, racial modifiers, ability score ranks, etc. but BEFORE any competence modifiers, situational modifiers (such as distance from the listener or intervening obsticles), etc.

    Creating A Laughing Uvula:
    First the uvulae of one or more upright-walking and/or centauriform creatures that breath through the same 'pipe' as they eat through must be harvested. The uvulae must be reasonably undecayed and whole. Each such harvesting requires a DC 10 Heal or DC 15 Craft(Butcher) check to avoid ruining the uvula.

    Next Eagle's Splendor and Hideous Laughter must be cast once on each uvula.
    Finally, either Animate Dead, Create Undead, or Create Greater Undead must be cast on the group of uvulae. The uvulae must rest on the material components for the spell. Each such casting (regardless of which spell is used) may create up to 2 HD worth of Laughing Uvulae per caster level (The Desecrate spell doubles this limit.). Regardless of the spell used the creature is automatically under the control of the creator and counts against the Animate Dead control pool as if it was created with that spell.

    The remaining corpse is still suitable for animation into most types of undead. Especially note that with the right skill checks, spells, etc it is possible to generate all of the following, and probably more, a Skeleton, a Muscle Mass, a Sinister Spinal Cord, a Slithering Liver, Hopping Stomach, an Empty Skin, a Gut Snake, and a set of Floating Lungs from a single corpse.

    Spellcasting:
    Add the following sizes of laughing uvula to the list of things summonable with the Summon Undead line of spells.
    Lvl Laughing Uvula Size
    I
    --
    II
    Diminutive
    III
    Tiny or Fine
    IV
    --
    V
    Small
    VI*
    --
    VII*
    --
    VIII*
    --
    IX*
    --
    ((Need to specify types or say none of them count as haaving the matching to get the +/-4. Remove rows above highest level summonable? Remove Footnotes if no footnoted rows exist. The sizes being so out of order is INTENTIONAL since hitpoints matter less for a summons that can be dropped in right next to its target, wasting an attack on is a partial victory for the caster, and which can prevent its target from killing it if it succeeds with both die-rolls of its attack. Also consider breaking them out by type. Currently assuming that any reasonable type can be picked (No Large or bigger Humanoids, and maybe no Medium or smaller giants... although children ARE a thing...) in any case clarify which types can be the source! Maybe even break it out into multiple columns at each spell level based on source.))

    As always, you can use a spell from the Summon Undead series to summon 2 undead from the list for 1 spell level lower, or 4 undead from the list for 2 spell levels lower.

    *This spell does not, to my knowledge, exist a-priori of this project.



    Muscle Mass
    Spoiler
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    Spoiler: Picture of Replica I Made out of Steak
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    Spoiler: Main stat block for Fine, Diminutive, and Tiny Muscle masses.
    Show

    ~
    Muscle Mass, Fine
    Muscle Mass, Diminutive
    Muscle Mass, Tiny
    Size and Type
    Fine Undead [Organ Undead]
    Diminutive Undead [Organ Undead]
    Tiny Undead [Organ Undead]
    Hit Dice
    1/2d12 (3 hp)
    1d12 (6 hp)
    2d12 (13 hp)
    Speed
    15 ft. (3 squares)*
    15 ft. (3 squares)*
    20 ft. (4 squares)*
    Initiative
    +3
    +2
    +1
    AC
    21 (+3 Dex, +8 size); touch 21; flat-footed 18
    16 (+2 Dex, +4 size); touch 16; flat-footed 14
    13 (+1 Dex, +2 size); touch 13; flat-footed 12
    BAB
    +0
    +0
    +1
    Grapple
    -17
    -12
    -5
    Attack
    Enfeeble +7 melee touch (1 str damage DC 10)
    Enfeeble +4 melee touch (1d2 str damage DC 10)
    Enfeeble +5 melee touch (1d3+1 str damage DC 11)
    Space/Reach
    1/2 ft./0 ft.
    1 ft./0 ft.
    2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
    Special Attacks
    Enfeeble, Overrun Mastery, Sit
    Enfeeble, Overrun Mastery, Sit
    Enfeeble, Overrun Mastery, Sit
    Special Qualities
    Dark Vision 60 ft., Undead Traits, Spherical
    Dark Vision 60 ft., Undead Traits, Spherical
    Dark Vision 60 ft., Undead Traits, Spherical
    Saves
    Fort +0, Ref +3, Will +2
    Fort +0, Ref +2, Will +2
    Fort +0, Ref +1, Will +3
    Abilities
    Str 8, Dex 16, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
    Str 11, Dex 14, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
    Str 14, Dex 12, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
    Skills
    Jump -10, Swim -1
    Jump -8, Swim +1
    Jump -2, Swim +4
    Feats
    Improved Bull-Rush(B), Improved Overrun(B)
    Improved Bull-Rush(B), Improved Overrun(B)
    Improved Bull-Rush(B), Improved Overrun(B)
    Environment
    Any
    Any
    Any
    Organization
    Any
    Any
    Any
    Challenge Rating
    1
    1
    2
    Treasure
    None
    None
    None
    Alignment
    Always Neutral Evil
    Always Neutral Evil
    Always Neutral Evil
    Advancement
    ~
    ~
    3 HD (Tiny) HD (Tiny)
    Level Adjustment
    ~
    ~
    ~
    *If at least 90% (by weight) of the meat to make a given muscle mass came from creatures with a swim speed then it has a swim speed equal to its land speed.


    Spoiler: Main stat block for Small, Medium, and Large Muscle masses.
    Show

    ~ Muscle Mass, Small Muscle Mass, Medium Muscle Mass, Large
    Size and Type
    Small Undead [Organ Undead]
    Medium Undead [Organ Undead]
    Large Undead [Organ Undead]
    Hit Dice
    4d12 (26 hp)
    8d12 (52 hp)
    16d12 (104 hp)
    Speed
    20 ft. (4 squares)*
    30 ft. (6 squares)*
    40 ft. (8 squares)*
    Initiative
    +0
    +0
    +0
    AC
    12 (+1 size, +1 natural); touch 11; flat-footed 12
    14 (+4 natural); touch 10; flat-footed 14
    16 (-1 size, +7 natural); touch 9; flat-footed 16
    BAB
    +2
    +4
    +8
    Grapple
    +1
    +10
    +22
    Attack
    Enfeeble +6 melee touch (1d4+2 Str damage DC 12)
    Enfeeble +10 melee touch (1d6+4 Str Damage DC 14)
    Enfeeble +17 melee touch (1d8+5 Str Damage DC 18)
    Space/Reach
    5 ft./5 ft.
    5 ft./5 ft.
    10 ft/5 ft.
    Special Attacks
    Enfeeble, Overrun Mastery, Sit
    Enfeeble, Overrun Mastery, Sit
    Enfeeble, Overrun Mastery, Sit
    Special Qualities
    Dark Vision 60 ft., Undead Traits, Spherical
    Dark Vision 60 ft., Turn Resistance +1, Undead Traits, Spherical
    Dark Vision 60 ft., Turn Resistance +2, Undead Traits, Spherical
    Saves
    Fort +1, Ref +1, Will +4
    Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +6
    Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +10
    Abilities
    Str 17, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
    Str 23, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
    STR 31, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
    Skills
    Jump +1, Swim +7
    Jump +14, Swim +14
    Jump +30, Swim +26
    Feats
    Improved Bull-Rush(B), Improved Overrun(B)
    Improved Bull-Rush(B), Improved Overrun(B)
    Improved Bull-Rush(B), Improved Overrun(B)
    Environment
    Any
    Any
    Any
    Organization
    Any
    Any
    Any
    Challenge Rating
    2
    4
    9
    Treasure
    None
    None
    None
    Alignment
    Always Neutral Evil
    Always Neutral Evil
    Always Neutral Evil
    Advancement
    5-7 HD (Small)
    9-15 HD (Medium)
    17-31 HD (Large)
    Level Adjustment
    ~
    ~
    ~
    *If at least 90% (by weight) of the meat to make a given muscle mass came from creatures with a swim speed then it has a swim speed equal to its land speed.


    Spoiler: Main stat block for Huge, Gargantuan, and Colossal Muscle Masses.
    Show
    ~ Muscle Mass, Huge Muscle Mass, Gargantuan Muscle Mass, Colossal
    Size and Type
    Huge Undead [Organ Undead]
    Gargantuan Undead [Organ Undead]
    Colossal Undead [Organ Undead]
    Hit Dice
    32d12 (208 hp)
    64d12 (416 hp)
    128d12 (832 hp)
    Speed
    40 ft. (8 squares)*
    50 ft. (10 squares)*
    60 ft. (12 squares)*
    Initiative
    +0
    +0
    +0
    AC
    19 (-2 size, +11 natural); touch 8; flat-footed 19
    26 (-4 Size, +20 natural); touch 6; flat-footed 26
    32 (-8 size, +30 natural); touch 2; flat-footed 32
    BAB
    +16
    +32
    +64
    Grapple
    +38
    +61
    +101
    Attack
    Enfeeble +30 melee touch (1d10+5 Str damage DC 26)
    Enfeeble +49 melee touch (2d6+6 Str Damage DC 42)
    Enfeeble +77 melee touch (2d8 Str Damage +7 Drain DC 74)
    Space/Reach
    15 ft./5 ft.
    20 ft./5 ft.
    30 ft/5 ft.
    Special Attacks
    Enfeeble, Overrun Mastery, Sit
    Enfeeble, Overrun Mastery, Sit
    Enfeeble, Overrun Mastery, Sit
    Special Qualities
    Dark Vision 60 ft., Turn Resistance +4, Undead Traits, Spherical
    Dark Vision 60 ft., Turn Resistance +8, Undead Traits, Spherical
    Dark Vision 60 ft., Turn Resistance +16, Undead Traits, Spherical
    Saves
    Fort +10, Ref +10, Will +18
    Fort +21, Ref +21, Will +34
    Fort +42, Ref +42, Will +66
    Abilities
    Str 39, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
    Str 45, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
    STR 53, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
    Skills
    Jump +50, Swim +46
    Jump +89, Swim +81
    Jump + 161, Swim +149
    Feats
    Improved Bull-Rush(B), Improved Overrun(B)
    Improved Bull-Rush(B), Improved Overrun(B)
    Improved Bull-Rush(B), Improved Overrun(B)
    Environment
    Any
    Any
    Any
    Organization
    Any
    Any
    Any
    Challenge Rating
    11
    14
    19
    Treasure
    None
    None
    None
    Alignment
    Always Neutral Evil
    Always Neutral Evil
    Always Neutral Evil
    Advancement
    33-63 HD (Huge)
    65-127 HD (Gargantuan)
    129+ HD (Colossal)
    Level Adjustment
    ~
    ~
    ~
    *If at least 90% (by weight) of the meat to make a given muscle mass came from creatures with a swim speed then it has a swim speed equal to its land speed.



    This appears to be a sphere of expertly stitched together muscle and sinew, without feature save for the criss-crossing strands that make up the structure of the ball. While bizarre, the threat it presents, if any, is not apparent to the casual observer.

    Muscle masses are muscles (AKA meat) stitched into a multi-layered sphere and reanimated through dark and sinister magic. (See "Creation" below)

    Combat (Some of this stuff is mechanically critical!)
    Because of their utter lack of intelligence, the instructions given to a newly created Muscle Mass must be very simple. They are actually incapable of understanding any other offensive actions than bull-rushes, over-runs, sitting on top of a prone opponent, and touch attacks (including with AoOs)*. Note that all of these have a chance of inflicting strength damage(and that this happens BEFORE any bull-rush or over-run is resolved), and that the bull-rushes and over-runs are the same thing to a muscle mass, and are merely resolved differently. Against any target two or more size classes smaller than the muscle mass it is resolved as an over-run, and against all other targets it is considered a bull-rush. Much as many a necromancer might wish otherwise, they have no limbs to impose a grapple with and are fundamentally incapable of understanding the concept of slamming into a target (animate or not) to cause hitpoint damage or break it. The closest they can come is bull-rush attacks, or rolling atop a helpless(usually due to strength loss), prone opponent and sitting on them. This tends to result in a death by slow crushing and asphyxiation, similar in some ways to a dragon's crush attack. Fortunately for the necromancers concerned "helpless and prone" describes many victims of one or more attacks from a muscle mass. Reports of the effectiveness of spiked armor in adding a damaging effect to the bull-rush, over-run and/or increasing the damage for sitting on a person are widely varied.
    *Even if this limitation is overcome their complete lack of manipulative appendages would prevent many things. Awaken Undead (Spell Compendium p.21) and Magic Jar (to possess them) are two such ways this could be done.

    Overrun Mastery (Ex): Muscle Masses do not provoke attacks of opportunity for entering their target's square when attempting overruns.

    Enfeeble(Sn): The Muscle Mass applies strength damage with a touch, including upon successfully touching a creature during a Bull-Rush or Overrun, or by sitting on top of a helpless opponent. A fortitude save is allowed to negate this. The save is constitution based, but since muscle masses have no constitution score this is simply 10 + 1/2 HD. Resolve this after any touch attack, but before the opposed checks for any associated overrun or bull-rush. The damage is doubled on a critical hit.
    For the damage, and, for muscle masses with standard hit-dice, strength damage are as follows:
    ((I should probably put in the Bull-Rush/Over-run modifiers here some time. For now, just be aware that they are the grapple modifiers +4 and might gain a bonus on a charge (realized this would be good late at night, typing this note before I go back to sleep.). Also, Overruns might normally have no touch attack, but allow the defender to simply let the attacker pass? I might be wrong on one or both of these points, but even if the defender evades the Muscle Mass should be allowed a touch attack to make it happen anyway.))
    Size Strength Damage (DC)
    Fine
    1 (10)
    Diminutive
    1d2 (10)
    Tiny
    1d3+1(11)
    Small
    1d4+2(12)
    Medium
    1d6+4(14)
    Large
    1d8+5(18)
    Huge
    1d10+5 (26)
    Gargantuan
    2d6+6 (42)
    Colossal
    2d8 damage + 7 drain (74)

    Sit (Ex): This is what passes for a finishing blow from a muscle mass, and functions only against living opponents that breath, and are both prone and have a strength of 0 (NOT a non-ability). It simply rolls to where-ever its weight will do the most good at preventing the weakened muscles of a creature from inhaling (not sticking itself down the throat), a vague instinct for things related to muscular action guiding it to the optimal position. This deals damage as follows through a combination of crushing under the soft weight of the mass and damage to muscular tissues, and also (provided the muscle mass is no more than one size class smaller than the victim) prevents breathing for that round. This requires a full round spent atop the victim, performing no other actions. Note that this causes strength damage (or drain for the Colossal ones) automatically each round as well, although generally this will not prove relevant. Do NOT add any bonus for strength to this damage.
    Size Damage
    Fine 1d2
    Diminutive 1d3
    Tiny 1d4
    Small 1d6
    Medium 1d8
    Large 2d6
    Huge 2d8
    Gargantuan 4d6
    Colossal 4d8

    Spherical (Ex): Muscle masses have no top or bottom, front or back. Thus they can not be flanked, and or knocked prone (tripping can still happen, but it only matters for such things as Setting Sun maneuvers). Semi-obviously they also lack manipulative appendages of any kind. They also do not gain a reach greater than 5 feet for being of a given size because they can not reach out, only roll or leap at their opponents.

    Organ Undead: For purposes of controlling or creation add the base racial turn resistance of an undead with this subtype to its hitdice in all cases rather than only for turning/rebuking/commanding/destroying. Note especially that this applies to how many hitdice worth of the Animate Dead control pool it takes up.

    Undead with this subtype often require additional spells to create in the simplest way, in addition to skill (or luck) with cutting up inanimate corpses to remove the organ.

    Skills: Muscle masses gain a bonus on jump and swim checks equal to their hitdice. The jumping ability is somewhat useful in dealing with flying opponents.


    Carrying and Lifting Capacity: Muscle Masses count as quadrupedal for purposes of carrying and lifting capacity (and cases where stability is an issue).
    Size Light Load Medium Load Heavy Load "Over Head" "Off Ground" Normal Push/Drag
    Fine 6.5 lb. or less 6.6-13.2 lb. 13.3-20 lb. 20 lb. 40 lb 100 lb.
    Diminutive 19 lb. or less 19.1-38 lb. 38.1-57.5 lb. 57.5 lb. 115 lb 288 lb.
    Tiny 43.5 lb. or less 44-87 lb. 88-131 lb. 131 lb. 262 lb 655 lb.
    Small 86 lb. or less 87-173 lb. 174-260 lb. 260 lb. 520 lb. 1,300 lb.
    Medium 300 lb. or less 301-600 lb. 601-900 lb. 900 lb. 1,800 lb. 4,500 lb.
    Large 1,836 lb. or less 1,837-3,672 lb. 3,673-5,520 lb. 5,520 lb. 11,040 lb. 13.8 tons
    Huge 5.55 tons or less 5.56-11.2 tons 11.3-16.8 tons 16.8 tons 33.6 tons 84 tons
    Gargantuan 25.5 tons or less 25.6-51.2 tons 51.3-76.8 tons 76.8 tons 153.6 tons 384 tons
    Colossal 154 tons or less 155-307 tons 308-461 tons 461 tons 922 tons 2,305 tons
    Do note that due to their tendency to roll directly in whatever direction they are going and make sharp turns, that designing and constructing saddlebags for a muscle mass that don't result in the cargo getting squashed is a non-trivial task. Draft harnesses are also difficult since the major area(s) of contact must sustain rubbing contact as the muscle mass rolls along. Simply greasing the area tends to coat the ball in grease, either rubbing it off entirely, or leading to a loss of traction. Primative roller-bearings are often employed.


    Special Uses: Muscle Masses are sometimes used as thrown weapons. They count as (orcish) shot-puts for proficiency purposes, but most wielders are non-proficient.

    Usage:
    Use them alone or mixed in with other mindless undead.

    If you feel like recreating the swimming scene in "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" these can work since they can reduce the swimmer's strength until they drown. And maybe leaping out of the water to bull-rush straight down.

    Creating Muscle Masses


    First the skeletal muscles (so no heart, stomach, intestinal, etc muscle) must be harvested and sewn into a spherical shape. The cost of the corpses may vary wildly, and many canny necromancers prefer to simply butcher cattle they have purchased. The muscles and tendons to be used must be reasonably undecayed and mostly whole. As far as crafting times go this requires Heal checks as if they were craft checks against a DC of 17 to create an item worth 10 gp per hitdie of the completed Muscle Mass. The thread required is of negligible cost compared to the cost of the meat and black onyx. The cost of the meat can be found in the PHB (6 sp a pound, assume that the cost for having it NOT cut up any more than necessary to remove it from the bones, and to include the tendons is the same as the cost to have it butchered the normal way). Purify Food and Drink and/or Gentle Repose may be used to keep the materials fresh long enough for the process to be completed. For these purposes Gentle Repose may target up to 25 pounds worth of materials OR any amount of materials taken from a single creature.

    Next Bull's Strength and Ray of Enfeeblement must be cast once for each 8 hitdice, or fraction there-of, over each mass to be animated. A single casting of Chill Touch or Bestow Curse may be substituted for Ray of Enfeeblement for a Fine Muscle Mass, or a total of three castings of Chill Touch and/or Bestow Curse for a Diminutive Muscle Mass.

    If a given ball would result in a Muscle Mass with a jump check modifier of +10 or more than Jump must be cast over it.

    If a given ball would result in a Muscle Mass with a speed of 40' or more than Expeditious Retreat must be cast over it. If the speed of the muscle mass would be exactly 40' then Longstrider may be substituted.

    Finally, either Animate Dead, Create Undead or Create Greater Undead must be cast. The balls must rest on the material components for the spell. Each such casting (regardless of which spell is used) may create up to 2 HD worth of Muscle masses per caster level (The desecrate spell doubles this limit). Animate Dead can not create a Muscle Mass of over 20 HD. For Muscle Masses of at least 21 HD multiple Create (Greater) Undead's may be stacked together to reach the HD requirement to animate a single muscle mass. The size and hitdice of the Muscle Mass relative to the amount of materials used as described on the following chart. Regardless of the spell used the creature is automatically under the control of the creator and counts against the Animate Dead control pool as if it was created with that spell.
    The remaining corpse is still suitable for animation into most types of undead. Especially note that with the right skill checks, spells, etc it is possible to generate a Skeleton, a Sinister Spinal Cord, a Slithering Liver, Hopping Stomach, an Empty Skin, a Gut Snake, and a set of Floating Lungs from a single corpse.

    Size Base Weight Required Additional Weight Needed Per EHD
    Fine 1/8 lb ~
    Diminutive 1/4 lb ~
    Tiny 6 lb. 3 lb.
    Small 50 lb. 100 lb.
    Medium 400 lb. 200 lb.
    Large 1 ton 500 lb
    Huge 8 tons 1 ton
    Gargantuan 64 tons 8 tons
    Colossal 500 tons 24 tons

    Spellcasting:
    Add the following sizes and hitdies of Muscle Mass to the list of things summonable with the Summon Undead line of spells.
    Lvl Muscle Mass Type
    I
    standard Diminutive
    II
    standard Tiny
    III
    standard Small
    IV
    Advanced Small (6HD)
    V
    standard Medium
    VI*
    Advanced Medium (12 HD)
    VII*
    standard Large
    VIII*
    Advanced Large (24 HD)
    IX*
    standard Huge
    As always, you can use a spell from the Summon Undead series to summon 2 undead from the list for 1 spell level lower, or 4 undead from the list for 2 spell levels lower.

    *This spell does not, to my knowledge, exist a-priori of this project. I might brew it up later, although it is going to be a bit narrow-focus unless other people jump on the homebrewing bandwagon.

    Development notes
    Spoiler
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    According to the second tab of THIS the strength scores are reasonable for the CRs. Not that they don't exceed the maximums for specific CRs but that they don't do that AND for every CR LESS than that except at Colossal, and then only by 1 point (see CR 16 to the Colossal muscle mass's 19). Note however that that table is for Pathfinder.
    is usually the case the CR's are pretty much just guesses.

    Note that according to http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_much_m...an_average_cow a 1000 lb cow (which may or may not be average) has about 250 to 376.2 lbs of meat you can get out of it, NOT counting the viscera (Don't know of this includes the liver or what...). This gives us a small muscle mass with 7 HD.

    Last edited by DracoDei; 2024-02-11 at 06:45 AM. Reason: Create (Greater) Undead coverage