Shocker
Herman Schultz's apartment located somewhere in the Bronx, 3.15 PM

Herman was kicking back in his pad in front of his old 90's television set with a couple of brewskis at hand after a hard day's honest work at his local KFC. In this very moment Herman was feeling rather happy for himself, already today he had two police cars drive right past him as he ran red light at an intersection.‘Didn’t even look in my direction.. Fools.’ And, now he was chilling with his closest and almost only friend Aleksei. Putting his feet up on a leg rest he causally thought to himself, 'Today was a good day.'

At that very instant he heard a loud crashing sound, however this was unlike the thunderous roar he had heard coming from outside fifteen minutes prior to this, no this was coming from his very own kitchen. Turning his head back to face the kitchen, Herman saw Aleksei struggling to sweep shards of glass from broken beer bottles under the fridge with his comically gigantic hands. Herman knew those hands weren't good for anything except pummelling $#*!$ like spidey down deep into the ground. At arriving to this conclusion he got up to clear away the mess, whilst his friend returned to his place on the large sofa and his sixteenth bottle of bud.

On his way back into the lounge Herman witnessed Aleksei furiously bashing away at the small buttons on the TV remote, trying in vain that out of the six or seven buttons that he pressed one of them might be able to change channel. Aleksei briefly looked mournfully up from his bottle of beer, and voiced his disappointment, “Hermuun it duun wurk!” The thick, mushmouthed way that Aleksei speaks never settled well upon Herman’s ears. As Aleksei stared into Herman’s eyes, Herman looked back into the void that was Aleksei’s face. ‘His little eyes look ridiculous in that giant head of his.’ Heman’s mind temporarily flicked back to a time before Alexsei became the monstrosity before him that they call the Rhino. Before the Kingpin handed Aleksei over to two old-school KGB Mafioso creeps. ‘Those where the real monsters.. Not us.’ Herman took the remote out of Aleksei’s giant hand and flicked on Cartoon Network, an episode of the Power Puff Girls was showing. ‘At least Aleksei will be happy.’

As Herman took a healthy swig from his budweiser, he watches a cartoon which shows some green anime girl beating some seven shades of $#*! out of some poor monkey fellow with his brain poking out of the top of his head before putting him behind bars, and begins to look back at how many times he’s been thrown in the slammer. ‘Thirty-four times. Been beaten senseless by that spidey freak at least nineteen times. I always get my jaw broken.. Always get hung upside down.’ A clear blood vessel begins to swell on-top his forehead. He thinks of how he gets tagged villain, sometimes even supervillain. He then laughs out aloud to himself as he begins to envision himself beside the real supervillains. ‘Green Goblin. Carnage. Bullseye. Crazyass mother-f**kers! I’m no Red-Freakin’-Skull. No they’re all lunatics... Murderers. Guys like me, Rhino we’re just common crooks. No, opportunists.’

Suddenly the television screen lit up with a new flash, the screen depicted a very concerned looking asian news journalist running towards the Raft, “Welcome back, I’m Tricia Takanawa and reporting just two blocks away from what appears to be a terrorist attack on the Raft. It is highly recommended all New Yorkers stay saf-...” Herman switched the television set off, abrupt fear, concern and worry had suddenly gripped a hold of his body. For his only other friend in this cruel world Maxwell Markham was currently residing cramped up with all those lunatics inside the Raft. Herman knew he would have to go there to keep his buddy from doing anything stupid. And, Maxwell was stupid.

Herman gets up and looks over to Aleksei who seems to have passed out, “...Stupid lout.” He momentarily considers waking Aleksei from his slumber, but then decides that would be a bad idea. Quickly adorning his yellow-and-brown pineapple costume he makes his way for the Raft as fast as he humanly can, ‘The Peugeot,’ he dashes for the keys in the kitchen and leaves the apartment.