Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

[123456789blaaa]

Wand Of Prismatic Spray: When activated, this wand shoots out a stream of tiny glass prisms.

Wand of Turn Undead: When activated, causes target undead to spin around in circles for 1d6 rounds.

Ring of Penguins: Whenever a Summon Monster X or Summon Nature's Ally X spell is cast within 100 feet of the wearer, the ring summons Xd6 penguins. These penguins are not under the wearer's control and do not disappear when the spell expires.

Umbrella of Weather Protection: Grants its wielder protection from rain, snow, hail, sleet, frozen rain, and sunlight.

The second and fourth items actually seem kind of useful.