Denizens of The Internet
Internet troll (CR 6)
Hit Dice|6d8+36 (63 HP)
Speed|30 feet (6 squares)
Armour Class|16 (-1 size, +2 Dex, +5 Natural)
Attack|Claw +9 melee (1d6+6)
Full Attack|2 Claws +9 melee and bite +4 melee (1d6+3)
Space/Reach|10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks|Rend 2d6+9
Special Qualities|Internet Denizen, Darkvision 90 ft., low-light vision, regeneration 5, scent, disguise as human, last word
Saves|Fort +11, Ref +4, Will +3
Abilities|Str 23, Dex 14, Con 23, Int 6, Wis 9, Cha 14
Skills| Bluff +8, Spot +6
Feats|Alertness, Iron Will, Skill focus (Bluff)
Environment|Native to material plane; found on Internet
Organization|Solitary or gang (2–4)
Treasure|Standard, plus unused Cans of Worms
Alignment|Any chaotic nongood.
Advancement|By character class[/table]
The troll is only a troll so long as it remains on The Internet - while its avatar, or internet form, is that of a troll, its body back on the material plane is that of a first-level commoner, who is CR 1/3.
Cans of worms:
The internet troll is always ready for a bad debate. As such, they always carry d3+1 cans of worms (see the items section) for use on unsuspecting posters.
The troll speaks Common in addition to Giant.
If a troll hits with both claw attacks, it latches onto the opponent’s body and tears the flesh. This attack automatically deals an additional 2d6+9 points of damage.
Unlike normal trolls, internet trolls are not weak to fire and acid, as it is incredibly difficult to hit someone with either of them through The Internet. The only way of dealing them lethal damage is through a lawful-aligned attack, the bonus damage from an axiomatic weapon, or the effects of a banhammer. Otherwise, this ability is the same as the regeneration of a normal troll.
Disguise as human (Su):
The troll can disguise itself as a human as a full-round action which provokes attacks of opportunity, or return to its true form as a free action. When in human form, it takes up a single five-foot square. It cannot make any attacks until it returns to its normal form, and loses all special abilities except Regeneration
and Disguise as Human
. Upon returning to its normal form, it moves to take up normal space if possible - if it cannot, it retains its human space but uses its troll reach, and it returns to normal size as soon as possible.
If anyone speaks with the human form for at least a minute, they may take a Sense Motive check, opposed against the troll's bluff check, to realise that the human is not real. If they pass by 5 or more, they realise that the human is really a troll, otherwise they do not know exactly.
Last Word (Su):
Once per day as a free action, the internet troll can use his force of personality to get his way. For a minute, the troll adds his Charisma modifier to his attack rolls, damage rolls, AC, skill checks, ability checks, saves, and initiative, and he increases his speed by +5 feet for every point of his Charisma modifier.
Flamer (CR varies)
A flamer is similar to a fire elemental and uses its profile with a few exceptions, though it actually has the humanoid (human) type. It also has the following special qualities:
The flamer is only a flamer so long as it remains on The Internet - while its avatar, or internet form, is that of a flamer, its body back on the material plane is that of a first-level commoner, who is CR 1/3.
Cans of worms:
Like the troll, a flamer always carries 1d3+1 cans of worms (See the items section).
The Flamer casts spells as a sorcerer of the same hit dice, using its dexterity in place of its charisma. They may take spells off any spell list the DM deems reasonable (even divine spell lists, though the spells are cast as arcane), but may only take spells with the (Fire) descriptor.
The flamer speaks Common in addition to Ignan.
Disguise as human (Su):
The flamer may disguise itself as a human in the same manner that an internet troll does.
Flamers are found on The Internet, but are native to the material plane. Their organisation is solitary or gang (2-4) Their alignment is any chaotic nongood.
The Moderator (Class):
"Moderator" is a prestige class that may only be taken by a non-player character unless the DM has a very good reason why a player character should be allowed to take it. However, it is nearly always taken by a heroic NPC of very high levels.
In order to become a moderator, the following requirements must be met:
Skills: Knowledge (The planes) 8 ranks
Base attack bonus: +5
Alignment: Any lawful
Special: Must have a base intelligence of at least 12, and be selected as a moderator by someone who has the authority to do so.
|+1|+2|+0|+2|Smite Chaos 1/day, Demi-Denizen, Warnings, Moderator Points, Infraction Points, My Word is Law|
|+4|+4|+1|+4|Banhammer +2, 3-day ban|
|+5|+4|+1|+4|1-week ban, Ban-weapon, Smite Chaos 2/day|
|+6|+5|+2|+5|Banhammer +3, Senior moderator, permaban.|
|+8|+6|+2|+6|Admin, Banhammer +4|
|+10|+7|+3|+7|Instapermaban, Banhammer +5, Smite Chaos 3/day|
Skill Points at Each Level:
2 + Int modifier
Weapon and Armour Proficiency:
The moderator gains proficiency in all hammers (except the Gnome Hooked Hammer) if they did not already have it.
They are also proficient in plot armour.
The moderator is a denizen of The Internet, but is capable of functioning outside of it in their usual role. All class features of the Moderator function only in The Internet, except for her base attack bonus, saves, hit dice, proficiency in hammers,
proficiency in plot armour
and Moderator Power (though the Moderator Power may not actually be used, she retains it for later use if they return to The Internet). As items may not leave The Internet, ban weapons cannot be transferred back to the other planes.
A Moderator who is non-lawful, or who opens a Can of Worms with full knowledge of its function, loses their class features as above. They must meet the class’s prerequisites again (including being selected as a moderator again) to regain them.
Any ban weapons, infraction points or bans remain in place when the moderator leaves The Internet, and have their standard duration.
Smite Chaos (Su)
The Moderator smites chaos in the same way a paladin smites evil, only using her Moderator level in place of paladin level and INT modifier in place of CHA.
My Word Is Law (Su)
A Moderator's attacks with any weapon are Lawful-aligned, and therefore bypass DR/Lawful.
A Moderator's Moderator Power (Henceforth MP) is equal to the value given in the table, plus her intelligence modifier times her level. Therefore, a fifth-level moderator with intelligence 14 has 25+2*5=35 MP. This often means that low-level moderators are heavily reliant on their intelligence modifier, but higher-level moderators are less so - they have more experience, and are no longer working it all out, but their intelligence has a greater effect in a linear sense because of the greater power it brings them.
Any ability requiring MP except the use of ban weapons may have the save DC increased by 1 by paying the original MP value again - so the Moderator may pay four times the original MP to use the power with +3 to the save DC - but the moderator may not spend more MP than her Moderator level to increase the DC (this does not count the base MP to use the ability). The target also suffers a penalty on saves against such effects based on infraction points (see below).
MP are restored once per day, either during the major update, which is at a specific time each day (in a similar manner to a cleric's spells) or the minor update, which is always twelve hours after the major update. The Moderator may change this decision by opting not to regain MP at the usual time, meaning that she must wait a day and a half to regain her MP. She may regain MP at any time during the update (which is usually two hours long), but this takes a full-round action which provokes attacks of opportunity, and she cannot concentrate if hit. If she is asleep at the start of the update, or falls asleep during it, she immediately regains her MP (do not cast Sleep
on the mods during the updates!)
Certain actions made by the Moderator (and anyone wielding a ban hammer) cause people to gain infraction points (IP). Anyone with infraction points suffers a -1 penalty on saves against being warned or banned equal to their IP, so long as they are on the same site where they received the IP (this means that you might have multiple sets of IP - you might have 3 IP from GitP and 5 IP from NS, and they are counted separately). A Moderator causes IP of whatever site she moderates, unless she is using another Moderator's banhammer, in which case she causes IP from his site. Similarly, a non-moderator who uses a banhammer causes IP from the owning moderator's site if they successfully ban a creature.
IP are carried between the planes - the moderator hive-mind knows who you are!
The Moderator may expend 1 MP to give a creature a warning as a standard action. The target must be able to hear, read or otherwise perceive the moderator speaking or writing, and understand the words. The target creature must take a will save (DC 10 + the moderator's intelligence modifier) or gain 1 IP and be dazed. The IP lasts a week, but the target may save again every day to remove it.
The warning may be written down. If it is written down, then it is triggered by the first creature to meet certain conditions who reads it, in a similar manner to Explosive Runes.
These conditions may be that the creature be chaotic, that they have broken the rules or that they are a particular creature. Once read, the warning is inert.
If the moderator does write the warning down and it is still active when she tries to recover MP, then she is faced with a choice. Either, she can render the warning inert as though it had been read, or she may choose not to recover her MP in order to keep it active.
The Moderator may instead choose to tell a creature to Knock it Off. This acts as a warning, but does not award IP - this may be helpful if the moderator wants to incapacitate a creature without banning them.
At second level, the moderator may choose to summon a banhammer (See the items section)
and a suit of plot armour
of the correct size for her to wield in lieu of drawing a weapon - due to the moderator's base attack bonus, this should mean that it may be a free action as part of movement. This costs 1 MP for each point of enhancement bonus the hammer has (minimum 1), and a banhammer summoned in this way lasts 1 minute. When that minute is over, the Moderator must make a choice: Pay another point of MP per point of enhancement bonus, change the enhancement bonus and pay the new MP cost, or lose her banhammer.
If she pays the MP, the banhammer stays for another minute, after which she must make the same choice again . If she changes the enhancement bonus, the hammer costs the new amount and functions at the new bonus with the new special abilities. If not, the banhammer disappears from wherever it was. The moderator may dismiss her ban hammer at any time as a free or immediate action (her choice). This can potentially disrupt an attack with the hammer.
At second level, the Moderator may only summon a +1 banhammer (it must be a +1 weapon because it is always Axiomatic
, but at later levels she may summon a banhammer with a higher enhancement bonus as indicated on the table. These enhancements may be swapped out for special abilities as normal, with the exception of Anarchic, Holy, Unholy,
and another copy of Axiomatic
You may, whenever you pay for your banhammer (or by paying for your banhammer out-of-sequence, which resets the hammer's timer to one minute) change the enhancement
You may have multiple banhammers - you pay the MP for each one separately. Only one, however, may have the Dancing
special ability at a time.
If a moderator strikes a target with a banhammer, they receive an infraction point even if they pass their save, but these infraction points expire at the end of the encounter.
Example: The legendary Moderator known only as "X" is wielding a banhammer, but is running out of MP. X's banhammer is a +1 wounding (+2) disruption (+2) banhammer, but X only has 2 MP. As such, X removes the disruption property. This means that the banhammer costs 3 MP. X must therefore remove the wounding property, but this makes the banhammer only cost 1 MP. X may therefore pay the 1 MP for a +1 banhammer, or pay 2 MP, allowing the banhammer to have either a +2 bonus or a +1 bonus and a +1 special ability. X opts to have a +1 flaming banhammer.
The next day, X is in combat with ghosts (though we're not sure why ghosts are on The Internet; roll with it) after just having slain some heavily armoured adventurers. X's banhammer is currently a +1 brilliant energy weapon, which is utterly useless against undead, and X won't have to pay for it for another 4 rounds. However, X pays for it anyway, allowing the weapon's special abilities to be redone, and decides to make it a +2 Ghost touch Impact weapon - far better for fighting the pesky ghosts. The weapon will last for a full minute before X has to pay for it again.
At Third level, a Moderator may attempt to ban a creature from the website as a standard action. This acts like a warning, only the creature need not hear you - the ban acts through the powers that be, not through the target's own mental state. However, the target still receives a will save, to represent their attempts to maintain a presence on the server.
If the save is failed, the character is banned for the specified length of time, and receives infraction points. The character may save against the ban every day. When the character passes the save or the time runs out, the IP invariably lasts twice as long as it took for the effect to end.
A 1-day ban costs 2 MP, a 3-day ban 7 MP, a 1-week ban 18 MP, and a permaban 30 MP.
A 1-day ban causes 2 IP, a 3-day ban causes 3 IP, a 1-week ban causes 5 IP (A banhammer also causes 5) and a perma-ban causes 6 IP (An instapermaban also causes 6).
A banned character is teleported, as greater teleport, out of the relevant website if they are in it, and cannot re-enter while they are banned unless they pass a DC 20 disguise check just to get in the "door". If they are recognised by, or reported to, a Moderator of at least third level or the owner of the site, they are immediately teleported out again, with their remaining ban time and IP doubled.
At fifth level, the moderator may make a ban-weapon other than a banhammer. This can be accomplished in one of two ways:
The Moderator may simply create a weapon sized for her in which she is proficient. It may be simple, martial or exotic, but it may not be a siege engine. It may be armour or shield spikes, a spiked shield or simply a shield
or set of plot armour
. However, if you create a shield directly, it may only be used for shield bash attacks (so this is probably not a good idea). The weapon works exactly as a ban hammer in every respect, including with respect to the cost, re-specifying and the limit on dancing weapons.
The moderator is assumed to create enough ban throwing weapons to last the duration, and a ranged weapon like a crossbow is supplied with mundane ammunition. A hit from this ammunition still counts as a hit from a banhammer.
The second way is to apply the ban ability to a weapon in the Moderator's possession. This costs an extra MP if the weapon has an enhancement bonus, but you do not need to add an enhancement bonus to a weapon which already has one. The Moderator cannot increase the effective enhancement bonus of her weapon past +12 (including the +2 for being an Axiomatic weapon), nor the actual enhancement bonus of the weapon past 5. If the weapon is already Axiomatic, Anarchic, Holy or Unholy, this property is exchanged for a +2 enhancement bonus - this cannot be exchanged for other special properties unless it is necessary to lower the weapon's actual enhancement bonus.
Example: X has found the honestly ridiculous weapon which is an Anarchic Holy Unholy Greatsword +3, which is a +9 weapon overall. X likes greatswords far better than hammers, and it's got a pretty high enhancement bonus overall, so X decides to spend 2 points of MP. The weapon ends up being an Axiomatic Ban Greatsword +10. Because the greatsword can't be a +10 weapon, X can use 5 of the weapon's bonus on special qualities, even though X only added +1 to the bonus. X decides to add the Vorpal quality, (because this allows X to shout "Snicker-snack!" fully in-character,) making the weapon into a fearsome Axiomatic Ban Vorpal Greatsword +5.
Senior Moderator: (Su)
A Moderator of sixth level or above is a Senior Moderator, lock or unlock a thread she are in or next to which is part of her website as a full-round action. If the Moderator locks a thread, that thread expels everyone who isn't a Moderator as though they had been banned from it (there is no saving throw against a thread lock) but they do not recieve IP.
If two Moderators find themselves fighting to lock and unlock a thread (Known as a "Wheel war"), whichever moderator is higher level may block the other Moderator from acting on that thread as a free action. She may only do so if they have both attempted to change the thread at least once within three rounds, and so may not block a Moderator from affecting a completely different thread. If the Moderators are the same level, they can keep trying to lock and unlock the thread until one of them gets bored and goes away.
All Moderators of any level can still enter locked threads.
Vigilante Modding (Su):
While Moderators usually dislike "Vigilante Modding," it is still useful to have a few players to remind people of the rules, tell people to stop being jerks and occasionally hit things with hammers. The Moderator may, at seventh level and as a swift action declare a group of creatures to be "Vigilante Moderators." These creatures must all be within 100 feet of the Moderator.
Vigilantes gain a ban hammer and may use the Knock It Off variant of a Warning, but they use the Moderator's MP to do so (she may choose whether to use MP for this to be successful). They also count as Moderators for the purposes of enforcing bans (so if a vigilante discovers a banned creature on the site, they are expelled), but the Moderator must pay an extra 1 MP for each minute per Vigilante. This needn't be paid again when the banhammer is changed out of sequence, but still needs to be paid each minute.
Vigilante Moderators are not actually moderators, and are affected by locked threads as normal.
At eighth level, the Moderator is also an Admin, and is capable of changing the website's gravity as a standard action. They can also declare forum or site downtime as a full-round action, and update the website.
Forum downtime is like a threadlock but it affects the whole forum, and Moderators are affected unless they are Admins. The Admin may also declare site downtime, expelling everyone who is not an admin from the entire website until the downtime is lifted.
Less drastic and utterly hilarious measures include changing the gravity of the site. This requires a standard action, and may set the gravity to one of the following (as found in the rules on planes):
The Admin chooses the direction, and may change it with a new standard action.
The person being affected by gravity may change it each round using the rules for subjective directional gravity.
And one of the following (Again found in the rules on planes):
Falling does damage with d10s, Balance, Climb, Jump, Ride, Swim, and Tumble checks and attack rolls take -2 penalty, weight is doubled, range increments are halved.
Falling does damage with d6s.
Falling does damage with d4s, Balance, Climb, Jump, Ride, Swim, and Tumble checks and attack rolls take -2 penalty, weight is halved, range increments are doubled.
Alternatively, the Admin may choose one of the following:
There is no gravity. It is not explained sufficiently how this works. There are two ways of working this out: the mathematical one which makes sense, and the simple one which points out that you're trying to have The Internet making sense.
This depends on quite what you're doing:
Spoiler: Throwing/firing something
Assume that throwing or firing an object makes a creature go backwards at the same speed as the object, divided by the difference in mass, so the product of mass and speed is equal.
For example, if you throw a club at someone, the club has a range increment of 10 feet, so it is going at a speed of 100 feet in 1 seconds (we assume) which is 600 feet in 6 seconds and weighs 3lb (or would do, on the material plane). So the mass (in "pounds on the material plane", for some reason) times the speed (in the trendy "Feet per 6 seconds") is 1200'lb/Round
Suppose your character weighs 150lb, that means that they travel at 1200/150=8'/Round, meaning they'll go back eight squares every five rounds. If you hit a target, they use the same calculation, so if they weigh 200lb, they will go back 6 feet each round.
The formula, in case you want it, is:
Character speed in feet per round=range increment (or distance thrown, for non-weapon objects)*object weight on material plane*60/character weight on material plane
Spoiler: Melee attack
If you hit or are hit with a melee attack, you start moving at a speed of (attacker's STR modifier) feet per round. If you miss a melee attack, however, you spin wildly, and count as flanked until your next turn even if you are not, and take a -2 penalty on melee attack rolls.
Spoiler: Simple method
All ranged attacks, and melee attacks that hit, move the attacker (and anyone hit) at the speed of 5 ft/round.
In any case, anyone who was falling or otherwise moving when gravity was cancelled keeps doing so at the same speed. Jump DCs are halved, and the character keeps moving in the same direction. Just for fun, if you kick someone (as an unarmed strike) you can make a jump check to jump off them. You still deal damage as normal (beware the internet monks!) Movement speed cancels out, stacks and so forth exactly as you would expect (we should probably call it movement velocity).
The moderator can also make gravity work as on The Internet at large, only people are attracted to pages and threads rather than websites.
A Moderator may ban multiple people in a single action, and pays MP costs to ban each one. She may increase the save DC of each ban individually.
Once per day, the Moderator may Permaban someone as a free or immediate action (her choice).
This weapon takes the form of any weapon with hammer
in its name, except the Gnome Hooked Hammer or any other weapon that doesn't really work. A creature struck by this weapon must take a will save or be banned from the site for which the hammer was made (this usually means the creating Moderator's site). The DC of this save is equal to 10 + damage dealt. A Ban Hammer always has the Axiomatic weapon property.
In addition, if the target creature is a flamer or a troll, or has committed a major infraction against the website, the Ban Hammer does extra damage equal to the attacker's level or hit dice on a successful hit. This damage can only be healed by leaving The Internet.
A Debate-Subject-in-a-Can is a debate subject. It is in a can. The can can be opened as a free action, because talking is a free action. Whenever the debate subject is released, the can realises the futility of its existence and disintegrates (as the spell if you really care, only with a different area. No, it can't save).
The release of the debate subject causes a new thread if it is opened in a forum, otherwise it creates a similar, appropriate area of The Internet. This area causes banter amongst those in that area as described below. After 3d6 days, the topic gets old and no longer causes banter.
If there is no appropriate area of The Internet to create, it instead causes banter amongst nearby creatures. A creature who can hear, read or otherwise perceive the opener's words must take a DC 20 will save or become fascinated for 2d4 rounds as they banter. Any creature who hears banter must also take this save, though each creature only needs to save once.
Can of Worms
The Can of Worms looks like a normal Debate-Subject-in-a-Can. When the can of worms is opened, all creatures who can hear, read or otherwise perceive the opener's words must take a DC 20 will save or rage for 5d4 minutes as a Barbarian of first level, and be confused for the duration. Further, anyone who can see or hear someone who is raging due to the can of worms must save against its effects, though a single creature only needs to save against its effects once and may save again every round to end the effect. The rage does not count against their normal rage time if they have one.
Opening a can of worms with full knowledge of its function is invariably a chaotic act, and causes a Moderator to fall.