Quote Originally Posted by NeoNagasaki View Post
It's kind of funny, I thought I had the worst GM ever, until I got the next GM. Now it's kind of a tossup. I'm leaning towards Eric...what the hell, how about I complain about both, and anyone who cares can vote on who sucked the most? Warning, I get long winded about these topics, I'll try to keep it short.

Spoiler: Glen.
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In college we agreed to alternate weeks between Glen and Trevor. Trevor's campaign wasn't great, but we could stand it, Glen's was ****, and he bullied Trevor into giving up his turn every week.

So we started out the game as escaped slaves coming out of Drow mines with a DMPC dual saber wielding drow who helped us escape. I ran a sorcerer and my GF ran a psion. We were all level 3 and just traveling through the caves, we climbed one wall. Well, everyone climbed it but my girlfriend, who no matter how well she rolled he declared she failed to climb the wall.

So we randomly find a huge pile of treasure in the middle of nowhere and suddenly a beholder jumps us. About four rounds of not being able to climb the stupid goddamn wall my GF walks out to spend time with her friends...clever girl. Eventually we beat the stupid beholder and jump to level 6. He also rolled randomly for treasure and one PC ended up getting a +5 short sword that dealt extra lightning, damage, frost, and instantly killed demons on critical hits.

Soon we started meeting the DM's "Amazing NPC's" We would actually mock him behind his back because every one of them had eyes "as blue as the ocean" and would respond to almost anything by stroking their chin and saying "Hmmmmm" in a thoughtful voice. Oh! And all of his female characters were "the most beautiful woman you've ever seen." Oh, they were also ubergods, some of them literally. Most of our sessions consisted of us sitting around listening to the GM's extremely long cutscenes, followed by a battle. We were dragged through internal politics of multiple realms and the entire game became focused on his one friend who had an evil tatoo taking over the nine levels of hell. It was on rails, HARD. I can't tell you how we did it, I missed the one session where we jumped from level 14 or so to level 26 or so.

These battles were dealt with by the DM's DMPC's fighting with casual grace, one of them was poking enemies to death because as strong as they were, drawing his weapon to deal with them was beneath him. All his creatures had really high spell resistance, and usually fire resistance, which happened to be my character's bread and butter. Oh, and "Caster level" to him used the highest level spell the character could use, not the level of the caster. So at the end our level 26 characters had a caster level of 9. The melee fighters basically did all the work the DMPC's didn't. One time my GF decided she wanted to use an AoE.

GF: Ok, I want to use this lightning burst thing, but I need to know if I'll hurt all my friends if I do.
Glen: No, you won't hurt all your friends.
GF: Okay, I use it.
Glen: Okay, you guys take...30 damage, reflex saves for half.
GF: You said I wouldn't hurt them!
Glen: You didn't hurt all of your friends, Trevor was out of range.

Yeah...yeah. Oh, and in case you're wondering, all my out of combat spells went about as well. You know how I said fire was my specialty? We came to these ruins where the ground was covered in snow. I tried to melt the snow with my fire. But I couldn't...it's magic snow. The snow couldn't melt, because it was magic. Luckily Trevor managed to find the trapdoor hidden beneath the snow, he's so clever.

Oh! Almost forgot, he had a thing for nose bleeds. I got an amulet that let me read minds. The only people we interacted with were his DMPC's and any time I tried to read their mind my nose would start bleeding. My GF tried to scry for one once and he but her in a coma...and gave her a nosebleed. In the end it all led up to the crowning moment where we threw down with the archon who guards the gates of heaven or some crap. My GF overcame his spell resistance even with the 16 level penalty for not understanding caster rules, the guy rolled a 1 on his will save, and she forcibly switched minds with him. My GF pulled off an impossible move and stole the body of one of the most powerful creatures in this universe. What was his response? He immediately turned to Trevor and asked him how he'd finish off the archon's new body in great detail and take over the nine levels of hell. What a waste of my goddamn time. He was worse as as a player, but that's not what we're here for so I'll leave it at that.


Spoiler: Eric
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So, for years I didn't have very good GM's but I never held it against them, they just weren't for me. Glen was still the worst of the bunch. Then I met Eric, the single worst D&D player I have EVER met. But this isn't about him as a player, so let's get to his game.

I came into this game with a friend of mine. We were playing brothers, I was Brass, and he was Bronze. We player two separate archetypes of bards and were exiled nobles hiding from assassins and working as traveling musicians while we hunted down our parent's killers (Entirely flavor for us, has nothing to do with the game) The other players were two goblins, and a ranger who lived in the forest.

So we started our first session with the five of us standing in the court of the king. He told us the necronomicon had been stolen and we were tasked with finding the book and destroying it. If we didn't, the entire world was doomed. This didn't go well.

Me: "My lord! Don't we have some sort of army who can get this book?"
King: "No, you do it. God said so."
Me: "We are mere musicians, and they are goblins. I think anyone with military training would be better suited for the task!"
King: "We can't. all our soldiers are busy."
Me: "Really? Every soldier is busy? All of them?"
King: "Yes, they're all busy, go get the book!"
Me: "Well...if we pull of this impossible task, will we be rewarded in some way?"
King: "We'll figure it out later, for now, go get the book."
Me: "Very well sire, what magical equipment can you give us to aid us in our quest?"
King: "No, just go get the book!"
Me: "You are the king of this land, and surely the retrieval of a book that can end the world is of top priority. Surely you want to do everything you can for-"
King: "DAMN IT NEO, STOP STALLING AND GO GET THE STUPID BOOK!"

So we leave and start heading north, cause that's where the book is. Along the way we bump into three invincible awesome characters who are super strong and have lots of magical items. They agree to accompany us. So next we come to a town, as we walk through we find out that the town is filled with demons that are so strong they can almost kill me in a single hit. I run. The platemail wearing, rifle toting, beautiful vampire chick insists I get back there and fight. Then she threatens to shoot me in the back. I keep running. After the fight where the three superstars take out all the demons she chases me down, handcuffs me, and drags me back to the plot.

Oh, by the way, we played over the internet, and all dice were rolled on the honour system. His friend rolled criticals...a lot.

For brevity's sake I will skip some things. I stopped trying to play a character in the first session. I ended up abducting children and selling them to demons, blah blah blah, nothing I did EVER dissuaded anything from happening. Essentially I ended up being a glorified messenger the whole game, where my role was to get information and bring it to the DMPC's who could go deal with the problem for me. There were two goddesses in the world, one who was good and one who was evil. If I did anything the GM didn't like the good goddess would show up and torture me until I agreed to do whatever I was supposed to.

Near the end of his first arc there was a cave that the bad guy was in, guarded by twenty zombies with rifles. I cast invisibility and tried to sneak in. There's an anti-magic field that stops my invisibility. The zombies, who are sentient and speak common tell me to get lost. Eventually we figure we just have to go in guns blazing because he stops every other approach. The two of us go in with our shields, we got a bunch of stacked bonuses for when we do things next to eachother, one of them let us have AC bonuses when shielding eachother. The rifles go off as we drop into full defense and they unload everything into us, I take one hit, and it's not for much. They're reloading and we swoop in, for the first time in ten sessions we're excited. Their firing lines get decimated as Bronze great cleaves through several zombies. Then the DM's cleric uses an AOE that kills all the zombies.

More of this crap happened, and by the time we found the big bad, who was also in an anti magic superfield, I dropped a lighter on his gunpowder room and turned the goddamn mountain into rubble. THE GOD OF GOOD PULLS US ALL BACK FROM THE DEAD AND LETS US COME BACK IN NEW BODIES AS A REWARD FOR FINISHING HER HOLY MISSION. Oh, and one more thing? HERE'S ANOTHER GODDAMN HOLY MISSION, DO IT NOW OR I'LL TORTURE YOU SOME MORE.

I can back as a 13 year old girl named Sapphire. I was a rogue and I put every point of everything into non-combat skills. My highest stat was charisma, My bluff, stealth, and disguise were literally as high as they could possibly get at that level, I could even roll bluff twice and take the better of the two rolls. Oh, and I blew my items budget on a suit with it's own atmosphere and a flying broom. Also I took unarmed combat so I could suckerpunch people. I didn't care anymore! I wanted to do something damn it!

The rest of it was terrible. One time I killed a child by dealing nonlethal damage somehow, but I only had hope of enjoying it one time after that. Our ship was under attack by pirates. I used my suit to live underwater, I used my broom to fire me like a torpedo at their boat. I came up on the opposite side and hid. I memorized what the captain looked like and his voice. I snuch into his cabin, stole all his stuff, and started going through his closets do disguise myself as him. I would bluff my way to the powder room and set a charge. For once, FOR ONCE, I would be the GODDAMN HERO, ME! But in the middle of the pitched battle on the high seas the captain decided to come into his room, I pull the little girl act, then try to suckerpunch him, but he blocks, CAUSE HE'S A HIGH LEVEL MONK! You want to know why he checked his room at that moment? NO REASON! Because we left the room after that without him doing anything. I GUESS HIS PLOT SENSE MONL POWERS TOLD HIM GODDAMNIT I HATED THAT FREAKING GAME!


So...*Shrug* I guess Eric?

For Glen as a player we have a post for that here: http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showt...heard-of/page4

Please post! I love hearing these stories.