D&D 3.5: You make the spell challenge.

[ezkajii]

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Watchful Guardian

Conjuration (Teleportation)
Level: Cleric 6, Paladin 4
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch (one creature)
Target: One creature touched
Duration: 1 day/level or until expended, see text
Saving Throw: Will negates (harmless)
Spell Resistance: No

The caster of this spell automatically knows when the target is in danger as long as the two are on the same plane.

The caster of this spell can speak the command word as a standard action. The caster is then teleported within 30 feet of the target. You can be transported any distance within a plane but cannot travel between planes. You can transport, in addition to yourself, any objects you carry, as long as their weight doesn’t exceed your maximum load. You may also bring one additional willing Medium or smaller creature (carrying gear or objects up to its maximum load) or its equivalent per three caster levels. A Large creature counts as two Medium creatures, a Huge creature counts as two Large creatures, and so forth. All creatures to be transported must be in contact with one another, and at least one of those creatures must be in contact with you. Exceeding this limit causes the spell to fail. An unwilling creature can't be teleported.

Upon arriving, for 1 minute/caster level, you cannot move more than 30 feet from the target, and any attempts force you to do so automatically fail, and the target is immune to all damage from you. If you have the Divine Grace class feature, the target gains the benefit of that class feature, as well. You can end these effects as a free action.



So, to recap: you'll never give your target up, and you'll never let them down, but you can't really run around or hurt them, either. (If you don't get the reference: Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up.")Challenge:
A spell that, if cast, would get at least 3 gods/goddesses very, very cross with you.

Clever! Perhaps in the spirit of 'never giving up', have the duration be permanent until expended, but can only have one such charge in effect at any given time. Also I think it would make more sense for the subject of the spell to speak the command word, so that they can more or less summon you to their aid when they need you most. This does remove some of the agency from the caster, though. Also is there any way for them to get back afterward?


Excommunicate
Abjuration
Level: Sor/Wiz 9
Components: V, S, M, XP
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100ft + 10ft/level)
Target: One creature / 3 levels
Duration: Concentration (maximum 1 minute/level)
Saving Throw: Will partial
Spell Resistance: Yes

Invoking the most powerful of your arcane energies, and sacrificing a bit of your soul in the process, you can cut off several creatures from their gods. Each creature targeted by the spell must make a Will save; failure indicates they are unable to cast divine spells or use supernatural or spell-like class gained through levels of classes which grant divine spellcasting, while success indicates they simply lose access to the two highest divine spell levels they can cast.

Material Component: All pieces of a broken holy symbol, worth at least 100gp.
XP Cost: 500xp per target


Next challenge: Another spell based on a song! (I might have to make a thread dedicated to this concept, actually.)