We all know frogs go "pop" in the microwave...

Quote Originally Posted by Gorblurp
Gorblurp the Insatiable

Image Source: Matthew Starbuck(Faxtar)

I'll have the Roasted Stuffed Whole Tom Tallfellow, Pineapple-Honey-Gazed Smoked Sam, Southern Shire Cornbread Dressing, Creamy Mashed Potatoes, Baked Brown-Sugar Beans, Spiced-Raisin Applesauce, and Lemon Iced Tea. Yes, that will do for the first course. - Gorblurp the Insatiable at the Devouring of Rosemary Shire

Gorblurp is a terrifying tale told at many Halfling hearths. It's said that he was once a man whose appetite was nearly equal to that of even the most hearty Halfling. He was a wanderer known to frequent the numerous eateries in Rosemary Shire, never quite able to sate his hunger, and always eager to try newer and increasingly exotic cuisine. It didn't take long for his appetites to take a turn to grim gastronomy. He began to wonder about these small folk. Would they make as fine a meal as they, well, made? He found one of the shirefolk fishing alone by the river, and decided to try what he found to be the sweetest of meats. Whilst savoring his meal by that babbling brook, Gorblurp had at last found the taste he craved. But wanted more, always more. And so he stalked his new favorite prey, picking off one here, two there, slowly escalating in frequency. The townsfolk didn't suspect him until too late. Some of them fled for their lives, but he hunted them down. The few that remained banded together to defend themselves, but they were too few, and Gorblurp's appetite too great. In one night of malicious mastication, Gorblurp ate the last of Rosemary Shire out of house and home.

CE (Human)Natural Were Dire Toad Ranger 1/Sorcerer 1/Warshaper 3/Black Blood Hunter 8

Level Class Base Attack Bonus Fort Save Ref Save Will Save Skills Feats Class Features
1st Ranger 1 +1 +2 +2 +0 Hide 4, Jump 4, Knowledge(Nature) 4, Listen 4, Spot 4, Survival 4, Swim 4 Power Attack, Improved Unarmed Strike, Track 1st Favored Enemy(Halflings), Wild Empathy
8th (5 HD) Lycanthrope Template (Were Dire Toad) +4 +6 +6 +4 Jump 8, Survival(cc) 8 Gape of the Serpent, Iron WillB, Weapon Finesse(Bite)B +2 Natural Armor (+3 in Hybrid or Animal form), Iron Will, Weapon Finesse(Bite), Bite Attack (1d4), Tongue(10ft. Reach), Poison(1d6 Con damage initial and secondary), Swallow Whole, Curse of Lycanthropy, DR 10/Silver, Lycanthropic Empathy, Low-Light Vision, Scent
9th (6 HD) Warshaper 1 +4 +8 +6 +4 Jump 10, Survival(cc) 8.5 Improved Natural Attack(Bite) Morphic Weapons
10th (7 HD) Sorcerer 1 +4 +8 +6 +6 Knowledge(Nature)(cc) 5, Survival(cc) 9 Spellcasting, Summon Familiar
11th (8HD) Warshaper 2 +5 +9 +7 +7 Jump 11, Survival(cc) 10 Morphic Body
12th (9HD) Warshaper 3 +6 +9 +7 +7 Jump 12, Survival(cc) 11 Vile Natural Attack Morphic Reach
13th (10HD) Black Blood Hunter 1 +6 +11 +9 +7 Jump 13, Knowledge(Nature) 6, Listen 5, Spot 5, Survival 12 Greater Curse of Lycanthropy, Lycanthropic Spell, Wild Items
14th (11HD) Black Blood Hunter 2 +7 +10 +7 +7 Jump 14, Knowledge(Nature) 7, Listen 6, Spot 6, Survival 13 Animal Aspect 1/day, Wild Empathy
15th (12HD) Black Blood Hunter 3 +8 +11 +7 +7 Jump 15, Knowledge(Nature) 8, Listen 7, Spot 7, Survival 14 Improved Grapple Improved Hybrid Form
16th (13HD) Black Blood Hunter 4 +9 +11 +8 +8 Jump 16, Knowledge(Nature) 9, Listen 8, Spot 8, Survival 15 Animal Aspect 2/day, Improved Vile Natural Attack (1d4)
17th (14HD) Black Blood Hunter 5 +9 +13 +8 +8 Jump 17, Knowledge(Nature) 10, Listen 9, Spot 9, Survival 16 Improved DR (15/Silver)
18th (15HD) Black Blood Hunter 6 +10 +14 +8 +8 Jump 18, Listen 10, Spot 10, Survival 18 Shape Soulmeld(Girallon Arms) Animal Aspect 3/day, Faster Change
19th (16HD) Black Blood Hunter 7 +11 +14 +9 +9 Jump 19, Listen 11, Spot 12, Survival 19
20th (17HD) Black Blood Hunter 8 +12 +15 +9 +9 Jump 20, Listen 13, Spot 13, Survival 20 Animal Aspect 4/day, Improved Vile Natural Attack (1d6)

Ability Scores

Starting Ability Scores (including racial adjustments):
Str - 16
Dex - 14 (18 in hybrid or animal form)
Con - 14 (18 in hybrid or animal form)
Int - 10
Wis - 14
Cha - 12

Final Ability Scores:
Str - 20 (All level adjustments go here)
Dex - 14 (18 in hybrid or animal form)
Con - 14 (18 in hybrid or animal form)
Int - 10
Wis - 14
Cha - 12

Spells per day/Spells Known

At 10th level, Gorblurp takes a level of Sorcerer. With his Charisma of 12, this lets him cast 5 0-level spells per day and 4 1st-level spells per day. He knows the following spells:

Detect Magic, Ghost Sound, Prestidigitation, Read Magic

1st Level:
Enlarge Person
Hoard Gullet


Level 8

Being a natural Lycanthrope, Gorblurp really tastes life starting at 8th level. Before that he still resembles his 8th level self, but let's start the sample here. At this point Gorblurp is already an expert in the gastronomical delights that Halflings can provide. He can track them to their underground homes, raid their simple larders, and feast upon the rather, er, "short" long pork. In his animal form he is already capable of devouring a small creature whole, and can, given an extra round, choke down a medium sized portion should the opportunity arise (thanks to Gape of the Serpent). His lycanthropic DR comes in handy when dealing with swallowed prey, as dealing the requisite amount of damage to cut their way out is made extremely difficult by having to get through the DR.

Level 15, "Sweet Spot"

At this point, Gorblurp's main trick is fully online. He can now Swallow Whole creatures while in Hybrid form (thanks to Improved Hybrid Form). He'll start of any fight he knows is coming by casting Hoard Gullet (which lasts for an hour/CL) and Enlarge Person (minute/CL) on himself before wading into combat and immediately trying to swallow an opponent whole. If multiple likely targets for swallowing present themselves, he'll happily swallow the first one into his Hoard Gullet for eating later (and if they try to cut their way out, then they suffer the fate of the contents of a ruptured bag of holding - they are lost forever), then swallow another for immediate satisfaction. After that he'll use his Morphic Weapons and Morphic Reach to lay into his opponents, or his Bite to spread his poison around. If his DM allows a liberal interpretation of Warshaper, then Gorblurp has N natural weapons, and thus plenty of attacks to deliver. If a very strict reading of the ability is used, then he only uses it to enhance his bite (in order to continue to qualify for Vile Natural Attack), and thus only uses his bite and Unarmed Strikes to attack. His DR makes him capable of front-lining for a few rounds if needs be, but his skills are better spent on his rather unique form of battlefield control (swallowing foes to take them out of the fight), and then skirmishing to assist his party. Thanks to Lycanthropic spell, Gorblurp can still use these tactics prior to level 15 while in Animal form.

Level 20

At the height of Gorblurp's might, these last few levels make him better at everything he does. His DR increases again, making it very difficult for anything that doesn't overcome his DR to cut their way out until the end of the fight when they can be focused on. He gets a slight boost to his grappling ability with the Girallon Arms soulmeld, and with a liberal reading of Morphic Weapons, Improved Vile Natural Attack renders him able to put some serious hurt on.


Player's Handbook (Ranger, Sorcerer, Enlarge Person, Improved Grapple, Improved Unarmed Strike, Iron Will, Power Attack, Track, Weapon Finesse)
Complete Warrior (Warshaper)
Monster Manual (Lycanthrope, Improved Natural Attack)
Monster Manual II (Dire Toad)
Player's Guide to Faerun (SI)
Savage Species (Gape of the Serpent)
Dragon Magic (Hoard Gullet)
Magic of Incarnum (Shape Soulmeld)
Book of Vile Darkness (Vile Natural Attack)