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    Dwarf in the Playground

    Join Date
    May 2015
    Somewhere nice.

    Post Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Hello, everyone. I've got quite a bit for you today:
    Spoiler: Well, we've got quite a lengthy bit of quotes today, don't we?

    DM: This time? You're dead.
    The (Demon-bomb thing.) explodes, tossing you off the cliff.
    Me: I use my bedroll as a cushion for the impact, slowing my -hp rate for the search party to find me.
    DM: Fine, roll for discov-
    Me: Actually, my warg mount went with them, and is probably able to smell the explosives, and is likely to have heard the explosion.
    DM:...Fine. Not dead. Fine.
    Our GM really didn't like my "Intelligent do-gooder" tidbit.
    DM: Alright, (Ranger) just tricked the Adamantite golem into falling into the courtyard.
    Well,(Paladin, I-e me), where are you, exactly? (In far too smug a tone.)
    Me:...In the courtyard.
    DM: Alright, I suppose that's that, pick up a new character sheet, noble sacrifice and all-
    Me:Which part of him landed on me? If it were his arm, I would certainly have more of a
    chance than if it were his torso, I imagine.

    DM:..Fine. Roll to see if it's his arm, or hand, or even toe! But Nothing but a nat 20 passes, though. .
    Me: {Proceeds to roll nat 20}
    DM: For the LOVE OF-
    I'd rather not finish that. The D.M. was of the "Kill every character" mindset.
    DM: You've been hit by a colossal gnomish locomotive.
    Me: I roll to remain at 1hp. I can still heal myself,
    and wouldn't it be an instinctive reaction to pain at this point?
    DM: ...Fine. 1hp. One round, and you're dead, however. Now-
    Me: I attempt to throw my shield onto the tracks in front of me,
    effectively acting as a colossal penny, potentially derailing the locomotive.
    DM: You've been hit, I say it again, by a Locomotive. With a 70-feet-per-round movement rate, I might add.
    Ranger: Why does it have a movement rate?
    DM:...I'm very thorough.

    Me: Isn't there any appeal?
    Druid:I don't care who lives or dies, I just want to see a literal trainwreck! take THAT, civilization!
    Theif: I'm rooting for him on this one. When would we next get a chance to loot a freaking train?
    Besides, this guy threw a gnome! And it worked!
    Warlock(OoC): I think my char would be a touch upset at losing the moral compass, here. Just a thought.
    Dm: Alright, alright! The train roll's off of the side of the bridge, into the gorge, just like you asked.
    With the paladin up front.

    {DM pulls me aside.}
    Me:(Ooc) So what happens now, then.
    DM:Look, You've helped (Everyone else) have fun, alright?
    For that,I'll cut you a deal. Your character is about to die. But there are still...options.
    Me: Options? What sort of options, exactly? And how? What would cause it, whatever it is?
    DM: Well, there were a LOT of cultists on that train. So...
    {And that's how I became a Graveknight good-guy.}
    Well, he wasn't the best D.M, but he tried.I left, but it's still the same char.
    A bit long, but I haven't got much to draw on.
    Thanks for reading this, and I hope you have a better day!
    Last edited by IntelectPaladin; 2016-10-03 at 01:08 AM.