Roguish Archetype: The Accordion Thief
The scourge of mariachis and polka bands, the Accordion Thieves have plied their malign craft since time out of mind. Their moxie serves them well in both their adventures and their interactions with "the ladies" (or "the gentlemen", depending on the Accordion Thief in question!). Accordion Thieves use music to support their allies and harass their enemies, while maintaining the skills in the larcenous arts that are to be expected of rogues, tramps, and thieves.


Mojo Master:
When you choose this tradition at 3rd level, you learn Accordion Arts that are fueled by special dice called mojo dice.

Accordion Arts. You learn three Accordion Arts of your choice, which are detailed under "Accordion Arts" below. You learn 2 additional Accordion Arts of your choice at 9th, 13th, and 17th level. Each time you learn new Accordion Arts, you can also replace one Accordion Art you know with a different one. You may only use Accordion Arts if you are holding an accordion. You may only use one Accordion Art on each turn.

Mojo Dice. You have a number of mojo dice equal to your Sneak Attack dice. Your mojo dice are d6s, like your Sneak Attack dice.

Concentration. Some Accordion Arts require you to maintain concentration to keep their effects active. If you lose concentration, such an Accordion Art ends. Concentrating on Accordion Arts follows the same rules as concentrating on spells (PHB 203). You may not concentrate on both an Accordion Art and a spell at the same time.

Saving Throws. Some of your Accordion Arts require your target to make a saving throw to resist the Accordion Art's effects. The saving throw DC is calculated as follows:
Accordion Art save DC = 8 + your Proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier

Trikitixa Trickster:
At 3rd level, you gain proficiency with the accordion. Additionally, you can use accordions as improvised weapons that you are proficient with. For you, an accordion is a two-handed finesse weapon that deals bludgeoning damage with a damage die of 1d8. Furthermore, you can spend one hour of downtime and 25gp worth of materials to craft a rudimentary accordion if you do not currently have one.

Sticky Fingers:
Starting at 9th level, you are as good at stealing things as you are at playing the accordion, and you are dang good at playing the accordion. You have advantage on Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) checks, and you can spend one mojo die to make a Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) check as a bonus action on your turn to steal one item (such as a keyring or coin purse) from a creature within 5 feet of you. This check is contested by the target's passive Perception score, and the item stolen may not be armor being worn by the target or an object held in the target's hands.

Crab-Claw Technique:
By 13th level, you have developed an unstoppable personalized accordion-playing technique, allowing your Accordion Arts to become even more potent. When you spend a mojo die to fuel an Accordion Art that instructs you to roll the mojo die spent, you can choose to instead spend two mojo dice at once and roll both of them.

Mariachi Memory:
When you reach 17th level, your ability to have songs stuck in your head knows no bounds. Or at least slightly fewer bounds than average. You can concentrate on two Accordion Arts at the same time, rolling concentration checks for each Accordion Art separately.

Accordion Arts
The Accordion Arts are presented in alphabetical order.

Accordion Bash. When you hit a creature with a Sneak Attack using an accordion, you can expend one mojo die to play a loud, dissonant noise as you strike the opponent. You add the mojo die to the attack's damage roll as thunder damage, and the target must make a Constitution saving throw or be stunned until the start of your next turn.

Bawdy Refrain. As an action, you expend and roll one mojo die to play and sing a horrendously lewd song at a horrendously high volume. All hostile creatures who can hear you must make a Wisdom saving throw or take psychic damage equal to the amount rolled on the mojo die + your Charisma modifier and suffer disadvantage on their next attack roll.

Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption. Concentration, up to 1 minute. As a bonus action, you can expend one mojo die to grant yourself or one creature of your choice who can hear you a strange absorbency. For the duration, whenever the target takes damage, they may roll the mojo die and reduce the damage they take by the amount rolled.

Chorale of Companionship. As an action, you can expend one mojo die to inspire one creature of your choice that can hear you. The target can use its reaction to immediately make one weapon attack, adding the mojo die to the attack roll.

Cletus's Canticle of Celerity. Concentration, up to 1 minute. As a bonus action, you can expend one mojo die to grant yourself or one creature of your choice who can hear you superhuman speed. The target's walking speed is doubled and they can add the mojo die to all Dexterity checks and saving throws for the duration.

Cringle's Curative Carol. As a bonus action, you can spend one mojo die to heal a creature that can hear you. The target rolls the mojo die and regains hit points equal to the number rolled plus your Charisma modifier.

Dissonant Riff. As an action, you expend one mojo die to make an annoying sound with your accordion. One creature of your choice who can hear you must make a Constitution saving throw or take thunder damage equal to your Sneak Attack damage and be deafened for one minute. On a successful save, the target takes half as much damage and is not deafened. While deafened, the target must subtract the mojo die from all attack rolls and saving throws it makes. The target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns.

Elron's Explosive Etude. Concentration, up to 1 minute. As a bonus action, you can expend one mojo die to grant yourself or one creature of your choice who can hear you volatile magical power. For the duration, the target can reroll 1s and 2s on damage dice rolled for spells.

Jerkwads' Symphony of Destruction. Concentration, up to 1 minute. As a bonus action, you can expend one mojo die to make yourself or one creature of your choice who can hear you horribly angry. For the duration, the target can add the mojo die to all damage rolls they make.

The Magical Mojomuscular Melody. Concentration, up to 1 minute. As a bonus action, you can expend one mojo die to allow yourself or one creature of your choice who can hear you to attune with their inner spirituality. For the duration, the target can add the mojo die to all spell attack rolls, Intelligence and Wisdom checks, and Intelligence and Wisdom saving throws for the duration.

The Moxious Madrigal. Concentration, up to 1 minute. As a bonus action, you can expend one mojo die to grant yourself or one creature of your choice who can hear you a great deal of moxie. For the duration, whenever the target is targeted by an attack, they gain a bonus to their AC equal to your Charisma modifier. Additionally, they can add the mojo die to all Charisma checks and saving throws for the duration.

The Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith. Concentration, up to 1 minute. As a bonus action, you can expend one mojo die to fill yourself or one creature of your choice who can hear you with passionate strengthliness. For the duration, the target can roll the mojo die and gain that many temporary hit points at the start of each of its turns.. Additionally, they can add the mojo die to all Strength and Constitution checks and Strength and Constitution saving throws for the duration.

Prelude of Precision. Concentration, up to 1 minute. As a bonus action, you can expend one mojo die to grant yourself or one creature of your choice who can hear you pinpoint accuracy. For the duration, the target scores a critical hit on a roll of 19 or 20. Additionally, the target adds the mojo die to the damage roll of each critical hit they score while under the effects of the song.

The Psalm of Pointiness. Concentration, up to 1 minute. As a bonus action, you can expend one mojo die to bestow upon yourself or one creature of your choice who can hear you an aura of pointiness. For the duration, whenever the target is touched, grappled, shoved, or hit by a melee weapon attack, the target rolls the mojo die and the creature who engaged with the target takes magical piercing damage equal to the amount rolled.

The Sonata of Sneakiness. Concentration, up to 1 hour. As an action, you can expend and roll one mojo die to begin playing this song that (somewhat counterintuitively) makes you harder to notice. For the duration, each creature of your choice that can hear you (including yourself) gains a bonus to Dexterity (Stealth) checks equal to your Charisma modifier + the amount rolled on the mojo die. A creature that receives this bonus leaves behind no tracks or other traces of its passage, and cannot be tracked except by magical means. Creatures that you did not choose to receive the bonus cannot hear the sound of this song.

Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance. Concentration, up to 1 minute. As a bonus action, you can expend one mojo die to make upon yourself or one creature of your choice who can hear you intensely annoying. For the duration, all creatures that can hear you have disadvantage on attack rolls made against any creatures other than the target.