Quote Originally Posted by Rakoa View Post
Thank you for taking my suggestion! The new format is excellent, and the stories that I've read through even better.
Now I have a request of my own. I hope you will accept it and work your magic.

Name: Bruzzan Audesti
Race: Human
Class: Fighter 1/Rogue x
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Background: Modified Guilt Artisan (member of the "Locksmith's Guild" - The Thieve's Guild)
Personality Trait: Anger - I explode if I receive even a minor sleight.
Bond: Gratitude - I owe a great deal to the "Locksmith's Guild".
Ideal: Honor - I don't steal from other thieves.
Flaw: Greed - I value money more than common sense.

He's a big guy, scarred, scary looking. He wears heavy armor, carries around a battle mallet, and does Enforcer work for the Thieve's Guild. He feels greatly indebted to them and intends to work his way up the ranks. His strength, constitution, and charisma are great, everything else average. He is not a friendly man.
I was wracking my brain trying to come up with a story that explained why he joined the guild, why he feels indebted to them, why he chose that path in life, and I couldn't come up with anything that wasn't done-to-death, cliche, seen it a million times before. So I have turned to the expert.
I tried to touch on all the traits you presented...
Came up with a reason why he's big, muscular, and carries a battle mallet and does Enforcer work.
Also explain why he's indebted to the Locksmith's Guild... and why, and how he ended up on the path that he's on...
And I've given him a reason to "adventure" forward to...
And also explain his alignment (I've not really written any evil origins; for myself for my own characters; or anyone else, save for a few times...)
So it was fun to step into the mind of someone and see what makes them evil...
As always, I welcome feedback! Good or bad! Tell me what you liked, loved and hated!
What worked and what didn't!
================================================== ===============
My father, Baron Trijin Barnaressi is a filthy rich politician in service to the local King. You would think that would mean I had money as well, would you not?

Such is not the case. As it would turn out, my father Trijin, met my mother in her home town of Westspring when he and his posse had been riding through. My mother, Ahna Audesti, was a very beautiful woman. Red locks of hair that seemed to be forged of the Eternal Fires of the Setting Sun, a thin waist, with wide hips, she looked as if she would be a beautiful bride and be able to bare children. My father approached my mother’s father, Ahneer and asked for her hand in marriage. My father immediately agreed; after all, Westspring was a small town with a population of sixty people. The notion that his daughter would be wedding into a home of wealth appealed to him. My mother did not resist; while she was not wholly attracted to Trijin, he was not ugly by any stretch of the imagination. On the ride back to Castle Barnaressi, my father and mother consummated their relationship, several times.

My mother revealed she had gotten pregnant after living in the castle for several months and Trijin had his minions take her and drag her away to the bustling city of Highstone. Once there, they revealed that Trijin had called off the wedding. With no money and no means to return home, my mother learned to survive on the streets, even while she was pregnant. I was born in an unmarked alleyway, where my mother died during childbirth; but not before a stranger had found her.

The woman, a thief named Ellastar, took me and brought me down to the Thieves Guild of the Locksmith’s Guild. Ellastar took my mother’s hand and smiled warmly, looking down at me, “Your baby is born, love,” she said soothingly.

“Please take care of the baby,” my mother choked.

“It’s a baby boy,” Ellastar smiled, giving my mother’s hand a gentle squeeze. “What’s your name, love?”

“Ahna,” my mother had told her, “Ahna Audestri.”

And with that, my mother passed away.

The woman who found me, Ellastar, was one of the members of the Locksmith’s Guild a prominent thieves guild in Highstone. She looked down at me, a new born, barely born less than ten minutes ago she guessed with the umbilical cord still uncut, lying in a pool of my mother’s blood.

Bythorn, a half-orc who ran the Locksmith’s Guild was furious. “What do you think you’re doing Ellastar? A crying infant like that is bound to reveal our location to the city guards if they search these sewers again.”

“I can always take the child, and my skills, elsewhere,” she threatened.

As it turned out, Ellastar happened to be one of the best at what she did; and that was fight her way out of a situation if she couldn’t sneak out of it. Ellastar began targeting pregnant or new mothers, and following them to mark their house and sneak in to steal milk that they had stored for their infants. In her mind, they had more milk in their breasts to feed the children; the child she found had none. She’d done research about my mother and discovered who she was and how she had come to Highstone. When I was five, she named me “Bruzzan” which was Orc for “Born In Blood.” Though she was not Orc in anyway; she was actually a beautiful female elf, she knew naming me an Orcish name would appease Bythorn’s ego and set aside any frustration he had with me.

By the age of twelve, Ellastar was not holding back when she taught me to fight. She would hit, cut, and bruise me. The compassion and generosity she’d shown me for years was gone. When I cried and asked why she was being so mean and hitting so hard, she simply replied, with no emotion in her voice, “Because that’s what the world is outside. It’s cruel. It’s relentless. It does not care about you. It will walk all over you. You will be the cobblestone and step to every person who walks on you as they ascend to greatness. Your tears won’t matter to them or to the world.”

It took three years but I was beginning to defend myself successfully against Ellastar’s attacks. That’s when she said, “Now to teach you how to steal.”

We spent countless nights sneaking around, breaking into homes, mugging the foolish. There were times after we mugged someone, she would scream for help as she dashed away, forcing me to find my own route of escape. This I didn’t need to ask why. I knew from the fighting lesson that the day might come that someone might betray me and I had best better be ready to fight or stealth away when that day comes.

Each successful run, Ellastar only gave me five percent of the take, taking sixty for her, and lying to Bythorn about the total, which she would give him the rest.

By the age of eighteen, she told me my mother’s name, her story and what she’d found out about her. I was furious with my father, who may or may not be dead by now. I had wanted to find him and crush his skull beneath the battle mallet I had grown accustomed to using. It was around this time, Bythorn had propositioned me to be the Locksmith Guild’s personal “retrieval expert.”

This meant going after specific targets that borrowed from the guild and neglected to pay back in time. These jobs included smashing the knees, hands, and sometimes heads, of those that refused to pay me when I came to collect on behalf of the Locksmith’s Guild.

Perhaps it was the mixture of knowing the truth of my father; knowing how my mother died; and the love that Ellastar never showed me again after I reached the age of twelve; and how the world outside was simply cruel; but all I cared about was earning money – enough one day to perhaps buy my freedom from the guild and go after my father to extract my revenge. I was easily angered and any slight against me would set me off, that typically was resolved through violence.

That short fuse has gotten me into more fights than I can count; and typically within the Locksmith’s Guild. You’d think Bythorn would be against such violence; but the Orcish half side of him believed that only the strong should remain; and those I fought, and sometimes killed, were being weeded out as being weak. Bythorn even believed that one day; someone would rise up and challenge him for the title of Guild Leader.

His eyes were always on Ellastar.

And that was foolish. Because the notion of running the guild myself certain bounced in my own head from time to time…