Quote Originally Posted by Adaon Nightwind View Post
..Um, Asmotherion, you do realise that your statement is somewhat equivalent to: "I do not get being poor. You just need some money, or a lot of it, then you are not poor."


There is a proverb: "Problems that we are not working on, will work in ourselves." You might be lucky and/or strong enough to not need to face your inner demons, or not have any. In that case, power be to you. For those of us who are struggling, though, therapy was and is being developed to help those in need.

Therapy in and of itself can not yield results, that is true. The inner work has to be done by the patient. A good therapist can guide you to your problems. A great one can offer ways to work on them, can find words to help you find your own words. But the workload is still on the patient. And said patient is usually not in the position to actually work on him- or herself a lot, due to many factors which contributed to the mental stress in the first place. Sometimes those living conditions need to be changed first. And sometimes, that is simply not possible.

And then there are the Therapists who want quick solutions, who do not listen, who have a fixed idea themselves about the person in front of them and do not even realise it, who are stuck on a one-way-process-mindset.. or in some cases are even malicious.

Still. I only got forward when i spoke to someone, when i knew that my voice was being heard. And i was lucky enough some great people, who happened to be therapists, were among them and answered. People who saw what i hate about myself.. and are still part of my life.

Not just bringing those hateful thoughts to the front. Being there for me when i try to overcome them.

A good therapist is never your friend. But they can be there for you.

If you are lucky enough to have friends as well, who will be there week after week, year after year, then yeah.. you are indeed lucky. Sometimes, all we have is a friendly voice out in the darkness.

Do not discourage those who found such a voice. If the therapy in question is indeed a vicious cycle of self-loathing.. then it is not a therapy worth its name.
i don't discourage anything or encourage anything. i'm just raising a point that some things are better left buried deep in yourself as long as you're highly functional rather than focused on and turn you into a shell of yourself.

if it's helping you process things in life good for you. However some people don't need a total stranger digging through their personal experiances and pushing them through a guilt trip.

As for strong friendships i believe one of the founding stones is sharing your pains with them and be there for theirs. Sure there will be some that will eventually prove they were not worth your time but that's how life is: learning through trial and error. There will also be people who amaze you by being there for you.