[Let's Read] The Class Alphabet for Dungeon Crawl Classics

[Libertad]

Quantum Wanderer: You’re a traveler of time and space who just happened to end up in a more primitive dimension/era. Your technology relies on the invisible manipulation of quantum physics, retro gadgets, and ray guns which all appear miraculously magical to most people. You have a d7 hit die, are proficient in 1d5+3 random weapons reflective of your sufficiently advanced culture, are likely to be knowledgeable and proficient in the workings of super-science weapons found as treasure, and have good progression in all 3 saving throws. Your major class feature, Quantum Manipulation, grants you access to Q-Powers as you gain levels, allowing you to perform “magical” feats of science provided that you can gather enough Q-particles to ‘cast’ them. This is represented as a 1d12 check with modifiers based upon how strange and wonky the laws of physics are in the immediate vicinity (magical rifts and such) as well as penalties if you failed prior checks within a short time-frame. You can learn up to 5 Q-Powers as you gain levels, but there’s only 4 (technically 9) in this book with suggestions that the GM should create more of their own. They include the ability to make a force field bubble that boosts AC, the ability to “wager Luck” on a roll that can aid or hinder the rolls of others, being able to teleport oneself and/or a group, and the ability to shoot an energy ray with various effects and/or damage types depending on its kind. Devolution rays reduce mental ability scores but enhance physical ones, rectangle rays create square-shaped holes in walls, teleportation rays can transfer a struck target elsewhere as the base teleport power, and so on and so forth. The rays are learned individually and there are 6 of them, which may account for the brevity of Q-Powers.

There’s also a sample list of Quantum Age weapons which include various types of energy blasters and a paralyzing rod. The class leans strongly on utility in the form of its Q-Powers, although given the limited amount that you can learn you’re mostly limited to a neat trick or two for the first five levels.

Ro-Bard: You’re a metallic artificial life form programmed to move others through the power of music! You have a d8 hit die and “roguish” weapon proficiencies, and your artificial body grants you diverse immunities but the inability to heal damage naturally or magically save via repairs costing 2d4 silver pieces per hit point restored. You have an inbuilt instrument that doesn’t require hands to be played and thus cannot be disarmed, and your memory data functions similar to Bardic Knowledge. Your primary class features center around music, and the abilities in question are dependent upon your alignment. All Ro-Bards can inspire allies with bonuses on Will saves. Lawful Ro-Bards can implant multiple suggestions in listeners, and can easily pick up new languages. Neutral Ro-Bards can only implant a single suggestion that grants a bonus when the listener performs a task related to the desired course of action, can also cause people to dance via a failed Will save, and evoke a specific emotional response in a target via singing. Chaotic Ro-Bards can perform acrobatics to increase their AC or ignore difficult and hazardous terrain, their jests can impose penalties to a target’s rolls, and they can perform stage magic and said last ability is incredibly vague in what it can do beyond this.

The Ro-Bard kind of comes out of nowhere, and given the classes we already covered that’s saying something. The alignment-based class features are a strange choice, and I cannot help but notice that the Lawful features get the short end of the stick. The Ro-Bard as a class doesn’t really have access to combat capabilities, magic, or otherwise broad gimmicks like we’ve seen in past entries, and given that it takes money to heal hit point damage they are a rather “meh” class.

Slimenoid: You’re a humanoid slime, meaning that all you weebs out there can play your very own gooey monster girl. You aren't exactly a combat-focused or utility class, having a limited mixture of both. You have a d8 hit die and cannot wear armor or use any weapons, which is not good, although you can attack with an acidic pseudopod which increases in damage and reach as you gain levels. Furthermore, you gain a unique array of class features every level, such as being able to see in the dark, breathe underwater, take half damage from bludgeoning attacks but double from fire/dessication, and a gradual progression of immunities. Being counted as “no longer humanoid for spell purposes” is the class’ 10th level capstone.

I actually looked through the corebook’s (very long) magic chapter with a proper CTRL + F search, and there aren’t many spells which specifically key off of a humanoid target. Charm Person is the most obvious example, but as a final feature is rather underwhelming. Sadly this word sums up the class quite well, as you don’t really excel in many utility-based tasks, you don’t have spells, and you are quite fragile and easy to hit in a straight-up fight.

Tenacious D-Fender: You’re basically the protagonist of Brutal Legend, and what more needs to be said? You are a martial class through and through. Your Tenacious Deeds are like Mighty Deeds of Arms but lower base die value than the Warrior. To make up for this you add your Personality modifier to the Deed die, are proficient with all melee weapons, and you add your level to initiative rolls meaning you act first and and fast often. You have a rather low d8 hit die and can only use slings as ranged weapons (cuz ROCK!), but your major class features are Battle Cries which are songs you sing in combat to make cool stuff happen and you have a predetermined one song per level. All but one are named after songs or catchphrases performed by the band Tenacious D and tend to be either at-will abilities or limited on a per-day basis. Battle Cries include things such as granting you an extra attack, deafening foes in an AoE shout, forcing up to 8 targets to lose their next action, and so on. The last two songs are rather notable: Tribute! can let allies roll one higher on the dice chain on attack rolls, while Summon Type IV Dio calls forth a powerful demon with the face of Ronnie James Dio.

This class is awesome. I have absolutely nothing to criticize about it, and it’s my favorite one in the whole book.

Ubiquarian: You learned how to astrally project a mirror-self via meditative techniques. As expected you’re rather thief-like in your d6 hit die and weapon proficiencies, and you can select from a list of trances to perform via a d20 roll plus your level + stamina modifier. These techniques can let you send an immaterial, invisible astral projection as you leave your body (but suffer Stamina if you remain outside your body for too long), can heal injuries and lost Stamina damage from projecting after an hour-long meditation, can create physical copies of yourself which divide your Stamina and hit points among themselves, gain the ability to Move Silently and Move in Shadows as a Thief (constant ability, not a trance), and can bring other people in an astral meditation by increasing the DC. Failing a roll when using said abilities causes an Astral Mishap, which is a table of various effects ranging from ability score damage to suffering from short-term amnesia to bringing a monster from the astral plane back with you.

The Ubiquarian is a gimmicky class, but it has a very cool and versatile gimmick. It may not be as open-ended as some of the other thief-like classes in this book such as the Knave or Ninja Vampire, but it’s much easier to read through and understand the core abilities.

Thoughts so far: I wasn’t impressed with the first 3 entries here, but the Tenacious D-Fender and Ubiquarians are cool classes that are good at their intended roles with flavorful spins of existing classes. Heavy Metal Warrior and Astral Thief are both brief and cool-sounding.

Join us next time as we wrap up this review with the last five classes, from vicious Velociraptors to wild-eyed Zealots!