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2020-11-30, 11:45 AM (ISO 8601)
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#523
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Alum: so, we are basically fighting bad AI.
Horell: Alum. you broke them.
Sasani: you pressed the god mode button.
Alum: Yea literally. I’m also nocliping.
Sasani: Horell falls, everyone dies.
GM: No. I will not TPK half the party under Horell’s butt.
Scar: *in bad Italian mobster accent* I usually kill for money, but now I’m tiny, I kill you for nothing.
Sasani: I charge it with my sword hurting ghost... I mean ghost hurting sword.
GM: it’s the dreaded sword hurting ghost. it will make your sword into an ex-calibur.
Lonji: Lick the gate.
Lonji: ALUM. LICK THE BEADS.
GM: This is bull----- why do they build all these cool puzzles and then give you the off button.
Scar: the swiss army sword of solutions.
Horell: how much wood would a Lonji know if a Lonji would know wood.
Scar: all of it if he licked it.
Alum: stop poking it. it’s a trap. A light activated trap.
Scar: Eh. let Lonji at it. he not so bright.
Alum: Mm. this is good wood.
Scar: so, he tricked her into playing cards against your humanity.
Lonji: we are all really... what’s the phrase... horny for malice.
Everyone else: WTF!
GM: it’s a "tiger"
Scar: chunky boy!
Scar: is there a spell "summon yarn ball"?
GM: you are deafened for 4 rounds
Alum: As if that makes any difference. Lonji never listens to us anyway.
Horell: That looks suspicious. is it black with orange stripes or orange with black stripes?
Horell: That’s not a tiger
GM: I said he was a wizard with a tiger. not that he was one.
Lonji: you told us that he was a tiger, I choose to believe.
Scar: what! no tiger?
Lonji: I was promised a tiger. let’s just turn around and leave.
GM: is this really your primary concern?
Scar: Oh no you can’t harm the door... After alum is done the door will be the only thing standing out of the whole dungeon.
Horell: that things attack bonus is higher than my AC...
Scar: so, what your saying is that it has a 5% miss chance against you.
Alum: so, what your saying is that you’re on the right side of the door.
Horell: it’s still a hit.
GM: I haven’t rolled yet.
Horell: ...it’s still a hit.
Horell: I thought clouds were immune to lightning.
Lonji: No, they are filled with lightning.
Horell: I am now.
Lonji: we have no willpower. if they talk to us, we become friends.
Horell: well... there is a small possibility of about 90%.
Lonji: Don’t worry. I’ll go and kill that shadow demon and... *stabs Horell through the chest*
Horell: *GHASP*--- Alum... what would it take to convert to Thorag-ism.
Horell: Well it was nice knowing you... again.
Alum: I JUST FIXED THAT!
Scar: ugh. you’re such a stickler for protocol
Alum: Yes. thank you.
Oracle: I see that the winged man did not make it.
Alum: I´ll fix him. I fix things. like stuff, and people, and peoplestuff.
Sasani: so, you just flew all the way from the caravan and boy are your arms tired?
Horell: basically yes.
NPC: *takes out her instrument and starts playing it*
Horell: Wait! she came down with us!
GM: did anyone tell her to wait at the surface?
Dragon turtle: you got the girl and killed our master. why are you here?
Scar: shinnies mostly.
Scar: Think about us mentally like red dragons.
Scar: you could technically leave for... say 1-hour tops and then return and we would be long gone.