Yeah, that's what I would focus on: looking for new players. Maybe do a little digging for tips n' tricks in that regard?

Everything else--verisimilitude, in-game logistics, all that--is just preference, and I doubt any forum anywhere will come to a consensus on it.
You seem pretty set in what you expect out of a game and what you think is most important at the table. I think flexibility can will make life easier, but there's also something to be said about sticking to your guns.

The most important thing is to get out of there, ASAP. It sounds awful. Absolutely worse than no game at all. But that makes me ask: why endure all this?