"Useless" magic items needed!

[Eurus]

Seven-League Boots: I seem to remember something along these lines mentioned in another thread... Warps space around the user, allowing them to step over great distances (seven leagues) with each step. In theory, allowed the user to travel massive distances quickly, similar to the 'ruby slippers' of Oz. In practice, however, most people cannot survive a seven-league stride, and are ripped in half upon attempting such. XD If you want to be really mean, just have them become nonmagical after the first use, so the party can't come up with any loopholes once they figure it out.

Ring of Know Direction (or whatever it's called...): This ring identifies as a powerful magical item radiating Divination magic of caster level 20th. It is not possible to determine its exact function until it is put on, though. It allows the user to always know were north is, whatever plane they may be on.

Crystal Ball of Trickery: This crystal orb contains a malicious spirit. This creature has no scrying abilities whatsoever, so when someone tries to use the crystal ball, it simply whips up an illusion. This imp-like creature wishes its owner nothing but grievous harm and death, so it often skews its images to trick its wielders into the wrong course of action.

Cloak of Many Colors: This plain brown cloak radiates powerful Abjuration magic. When worn, it begins to glow in shifting, tie-dye colors. Apart from looking obnoxious and making anyone who stares at it for too long slightly nauseous, it's constant, unsuppressable glow makes it impossible for the wearer to hide, even while invisible; the cloak shrugs off all illusion magic like water. It cannot be removed by any means short of a Remove Curse or Break Enchantment. No real use here.

Sword of Screaming: It screams. Loudly. The moment you try to sheath it or put it away, in fact. Just barely not loud enough to cause any permanent or damaging effects, but easily loud enough to bring the city guard (or the beholder, or the purple worm...) running to your hiding spot. Cannot be gotten rid of once activated; it pops right back into the owner's hand a moment later. On the plus side, it is still a sword (possibly even a magical one), and a resourceful character might use it to get a bonus on demoralizing foes.

Anyway, some of them are supposed to have uses, right? Just... unusual ones. Like, the armor that turns you to stone; great to disguise yourself as a statue, as long as you're willing to risk someone being around when you turn back.