Quote Originally Posted by flyingpoo22 View Post
Greater enhanced ability is a lot weaker than all of the other Shape of the Great Wyrm abilities. In fact it is nearly equal to the Draconic ability. I would rather have +6d6 damage, or +5 AC, etc, than +2 to an ability.
Well, only two issues, one with what you said and another with what I did. It's a +4 to an ability, but even so that's not great, I just took it from another class so I need to alter it to +8.

Quote Originally Posted by MammonAzrael View Post
Shouldn't Mighty Breath increase the save DC of your Breath Weapon too? It seems like it should, but doesn't as currently worded.
The DC is equal to 10+Half your Dragon HD+Con modifier, and Unveiled Dragon levels stack with dragon HD for determining the damage and DC of the breath weapon. I suppose just saying 'power of your breath weapon' doesn't really tell you that.

Quote Originally Posted by MammonAzrael View Post
The Fast Healing Draconic Ability needs to be colored and italicized.
I'll get right on that.

Quote Originally Posted by MammonAzrael View Post
Resist Blows should say: "This ability is constantly active and does not require fiendish Draconic release." Furthermore, does it change all your X/Magic DR into X/Epic, or just the DR granted by the ability?
Also, it changes all your DR into epic, just not right away, of course.

Quote Originally Posted by MammonAzrael View Post
Does the Weapon Enhancemt Draconic Ability increase as you level, or does the ability you get depend on the class level you take the ability at? Right now it sounds like you get a +1 ability, then you add a +2 ability when you hit 5th level (which implies character level, not class level...), then you add a +3 ability at 7th and so on. Something tells me this was not your intent.
The intent was to make the max level you could get a +1 enhancement is unveiled dragon level 3rd, +2 max at level 5 and so on and so forth.

Quote Originally Posted by MammonAzrael View Post
Strike of the Dragons Heart I think should read: "If this strike hits, it deals an additional 12d6 points of damage to your opponent and they are forced to make a Will save with a DC equal to your fear auraFrightful Presence DC(if you don't have one, DC 10+half your initiator level+Cha modifier) or be considered shaken for the duration of the encounter."
I suppose that works.

Quote Originally Posted by MammonAzrael View Post
Also, on page 125 of Dragon Magic there are variant dragon auras that you can replace your Frightful Presence with. Not sure how it would mix with this strike.
Ehhh, I'll leave that up to all the DM's out there, I use fear auras.

Quote Originally Posted by MammonAzrael View Post
Bahamut's/Tiamat's Strike seems to suffer the same danger as the Bahamut and Tiamat breath options of the Dragonfire Adept. Why does the T outdamage the B strike? Even if what you're hitting is resistant or immune to one of the elements, it'll still deal more damage than the B strike. Or is this assuming that by the time you get it, most enemies you face will have multiple resistances and immunities?
That's exactly why I did it, but I suppose I shouldn't let it out-damage it by so much. I tend to think a lot about outsiders, so multiple energy resistances pop up a lot in my head.

Quote Originally Posted by MammonAzrael View Post
Shape of the Great Wyrm: Page 99 of the Draconomicon has rule for a Colossal+ size if you want to use that. Why don't you make the +4 bonus to attack rolls an insight bonus, so it automatically doesn't stack with the bonus from Draconic Release? Do you select six abilities each time you use SotGW, or do you select six when you first gain the ability, and then they never change after that? And you can remove the doesn't stack clause from Spirit Armor (they're both deflection bonuses so they already don't stack).
Hmm, I prefer to keep it with the standard "maximum of colossal", since when it starts getting bigger it starts getting ridiculous.
"You gain a +4 bonus on attack rolls while using your natural weapons, which does not stack with the bonus to attack rolls gained from your draconic release." Changing that seems unnecessary to me.
You select 6 abilities which cannot be changed, I must not have mentioned that, so I'll change it.
I added the clause because not everyone knows that, all too many times have I seen newbies buying two(or three...) rings of deflection.

Quote Originally Posted by MammonAzrael View Post
Overall, I like it. Very cool. I think you could also add in a Spell Resistance ability for Draconic Ability or SotGW, since that's another thing all dragons have. Well done.
That's not a bad idea, and I'm glad you like it.

Quote Originally Posted by Stycotl View Post
interesting. couple of things.

the veiled shape ability makes it sounds as if it can pretty much shapechange back and forth at will between its two forms, but everything else makes it seem as if it has forsaken its draconic form. but, why on earth would a dragon willingly abandon its draconic form, arguably one of the most amazing forms in the game? demons i can see going through this. dragons, i'm still having a hard time. maybe the dragon was stripped of his draconic form by a divine being (or something else that he can't just dispel), and this is his attempt to refind it.

some fluff text in the beginning might help me out with this, cuz i don't currently see it.
The ability to grant the ability to switch between forms, and if it sounds like the draconic form was forsaken it's mostly because I quoted most of the text from the Unmasked Fiend, which did forsake it's fiendish form.

Quote Originally Posted by Stycotl View Post
mighty breath: should probably have a new name, since it gives three abilities, and only one of them is breath. maybe, 'might of the dragon' or something.
Yeah... That bugged me from the start, but I just couldn't think of something good. I'll probably use something like your suggestion, if not just plainly ripping it off.

Quote Originally Posted by Stycotl View Post
spirit weapon: most super cool weapons can be replaced, even if lost, destroyed, etc. making it lost forever is pretty harsh. any particular reason?
Because if it's destroyed it's still regenerates. It's more like punishment for dropping it somewhere and not keeping good enough track of it. After all, you can't just replace a best friend, can you?

Quote Originally Posted by Stycotl View Post
fast healing: the heading wasn't bolded/color changed like the rest, and in the sentance, 'shiner' should be 'shinier'.
Thanks. Also, it's spelled 'sentence'.

Quote Originally Posted by Stycotl View Post
breath of fury: moves the breath weapon up one damage dice. as far as i was aware, (where gold and red dragons are concerned) when damage dice in increased, advancing from a d10 takes you to 2d8 or something (someone can look it up...). so a dragon with a 14d10 breath now has a 28d8 breath. i am pretty sure that this is how it worked. that is a fairly large increase. then imagine a great wyrm... d12 might be better, but you'd probably have to specify that in the description, unless i am wrong, and d12 is already standard.
I was hoping people would make the assumption of d8 - d10 - d12 instead of 2d8.

Quote Originally Posted by Stycotl View Post
i am having a hard time undstanding the need for the spirit weapon, and its appearing/disappearing. some of that still stems from me not getting why a dragon would voluntarily lose its form.
It doesn't lose it's form, it just gets another less ambiguous one. And the spirit weapon thing is just going with the theme of the rest of the classes I made that have spirit weapons. Power contained in a sword that unleashes itself and bonds with you in draconic shape, stuff like that.

Quote Originally Posted by Stycotl View Post
prereqs: +10 bab pretty much means that a hatchling can take this prc. now, i realize that there is a balance that is hard to reach here. this seems like a class that only an older dragon would take. but players can't generally play older dragons--LA problem. so you kinda have to compromise. at least, this is what i am assuming you did. since you have the prereq already in there that the dragon has to be a true dragon, maybe specify that it has to be at least age category 2 or 3 or something. unless you want hatchlings to have access to it, which is certainly your deal.
Waitwait, which hatchlings have 10 HD?

Quote Originally Posted by Stycotl View Post
ok, got the negative out fo the way. now, the positive. very cool. this thing has tons of options (pun intended). it does have a nice flavor; i just don't buy it all right now. like i said, fluff would help. it has to be somewhat different than the demon one, otherwise it would fit in my mind. i love dragons; they're my favorite monster to play as a pc in d&d, and i love things that capitalize on dragons' abilities. this in conjunction with the primal breather class would be killer.

good job.

aaron out.