Hiidenkirves “Axe of the Goblin Lady”
Price (Item Level): 200,000gp (25th)
Caster Level: 15th
Aura: Strong (DC 22) evocation
Weight: 3 lbs
When wielded by just anyone, this hand axe functions as a +1 alchemical silver weapon. In the hands of one of the faerie realm, however, additional properties are revealed. If wielded by a chaotic creature of the fey type, it becomes a +2 keen, returning, throwing hand axe. Further, when thrown by a fey of chaotic alignment, and it successfully strikes its target, the axe disappears, and in its place, the paired trauma spell is summoned. If the thrown axe misses its target, it returns to the thrower at the end of his turn as normal. Once the two weapons of paired trauma appear, they continue to assault the initial target until it is defeated or they are directed to a new target by the thrower, and then they will behave as per the spell description. The two weapons utilize caster level 15 as their base attack bonus, each gaining 3 attacks per round on a full attack action, and have a +12 bonus to saving throws, 45 hit points, and an AC of 25. When the spell duration ends, the two weapons of the paired trauma disappear, and the hand axe returns to the thrower’s hand as normal, or at his feet if his hands are full. If either of the two weapons are sundered or in any other way destroyed, the spell ends prematurely, the hand axe returns to the thrower as normal, and the spell is not usable again for 12 hours. At any time, the thrower can dismiss the paired trauma with a swift act by outstretching his hand and calling for the hand axe to return at the end of his turn as normal.
Ketzl was somewhat famous among the fey. One of the oldest of the skratta-sker, he was a goblin that never grew up, always wandering from place to place, always consumed by the need to explore, always in need of a bigger adventure. He was a tremendous prankster as well, and received much pleasure in life with his lies and practical jokes. Legend states that he was wandering through the lands of one of the myriad prime material planes, when he encountered an arch mage of great power and authority. Now, the mighty arch mage was unaware of Ketzl’s presence—indeed, he could not fathom the little goblin’s existence, too experienced in illusions and phantasms to believe in the mystical skratta-sker. Ketzl was fascinated by the potent magical creations that the wizard created for the most prestigious kings and queens of the world, and decided that he wanted one for himself. Now, a trickster and a thief though he was, Ketzl was not unwise; he knew that this arch mage had many defenses and wards that would surely obliterate the little goblin on the spot should he attempt to steal one of the magical devices. So the goblin did what he does best—he patiently waited, weaving subtle charms and enchantments of his own, and though they were nothing compared to the magic of the wizard, they slowly began to take effect. Soon, the wizard became a little lackadaisical in how often he buttoned up his tower’s arcane defenses when they needed maintenance, assuming that it was his own idea and his own laziness. Next, he began to leave his tower windows open, and later to leave his journals and spell books open on his work tables. Ketzl was afforded the opportunity to study the arch mage’s creations in close detail, even spending days at a time invisibly watching the man as he forged scepters befitting a ruler of continents, and weapons that would make proud a hero of legends. Finally, after weeks of painstakingly patient observation, Ketzl devised a plan, disguising himself as a noble lady that the arch mage fancied, and would go to great lengths to impress, had he the opportunity. Ketzl appeared to the wizard with a down payment on a very special weapon that her father wanted constructed as a gift to the faerie court, in order to seal a new alliance. Though the down payment cost the skratta-sker nearly everything of value that he had, he gladly parted with it in exchange for the magnificent magic that awaited him. The weapon was forged and given to the lady as she prepared to journey back home, the promise of further payment already agreed upon, and hints of a future courtship dangled enticingly before the arcane master. Ketzl has never been back to that plane of existence, not even to sate his curiosity as to what happened to the assuredly confused lady, the most definitely infuriated arch mage, and the kingdom that is now indebted to him. The goblin figures that after a few hundred years have passed, things will have cooled down, and he can enjoy the story from the perspectives of the descendents.