i must say, this is my favorite thread now... (please forgive me iron poet) ive never been able to find a place to get good solid constant critisizm... i decided (since i have nothing to post yet) ill just stockpile my comments, and coment on everything at once so i can post stories whenever i want, so without further ado:

Critique: Onami's Greeting by Tequila Sunrise
skimming through (at my 100 pages an hour rate i use for school) i get the initial image of a sort of ritual/tradition of a squad going to battle. Captain shouts, men respond.

second time through i find things out of place. the "narrator" doesnt go with the feeling i think. The begining intro fits, but with the squad ritual feel to it i dont get the last "first and last words" part. Maybe a little more flow is needed here to get the full feel of the situation?

critique: the last trade by Raz Fox
just going by paragraph, first one is confusing... it seems to be a solid world with unique races, at least one of which is featured here without much description. i found myself reading over it multiple times trying to find what i missed cause i had no clue what just happened. Perhaps if you vary sentence beginnings and create a bit more flow and imagery it will be easier to understand

finally, some backstory and set up... interesting picture with the trader, i had to glance at the first section when you mentioned the village... again seems to be a little backstory or information that elaboration would clear up. flow again is an issue

this one flows welll enough... might wanna watch where you place those hyphons, they can confuse adjective noun posessive stuff

nothing to critique here

ummm, last sentence, the last "he" is unclear... on reading again, it is understandable, but might wanna edit that sentence

not much to say here, still needs some flow work

the rest has nothing major, just some flow issues

overall, i escpecially like the way you wrote the elder's speach, i like the broken english... it really rounds it out

critique: inner demons by banjo1985
ok, love the title, just saying. i saw the title and was like, im gonna critique this one

chapter one: youre gonna make this hard on me arent you? i hate giving endless praise for a piece, but thats all i can think to give for this. great imagery, forshadowing, you get the reader interested quick

dang you and your imagery!!! fine, can i just put same as above for chapter 2? please!