Critique: Mask Masque by Kallisti

I couldnít pass up the chance to critique a complete piece on here.

I find thisÖintriguing, is probably the best word for it. Itís quite a jarring and confusing read, but a pretty effective one. As a reader I was left feeling rather dislocated and strange, so as a piece to stir feeling within the reader itís very effective. The concept of the masks and not knowing your own true face, let alone anyone elseís is interesting, and lends itself to a short reflective piece such as this. Itís quite a unique piece of work, and a style that Iím really not used to reading, so kudos for writing something thatís stuck in my mind.

Now for a few criticisms I guess. Some of the Ďmasksí get more of a scene, a story, than the others, and while the paragraphs for each mask become longer as the piece goes on, it makes the pacing seem a little off to me. The scene with the boy getting a knife between his ribs just doesnít sit well with the rest of the paragraph, though itís written quite well. Iím not sure where the names for the masks come from, but theyíre quite grandiose, Iíd be interested to learn more about that.

Iím really struggling to properly critique this piece, I think because it is so strange and disconcerting. It seems to be an introspective piece to make the reader think, and as that it works very well. Personally Iíd like to see some of your longer more prose-y (new word!) work, to see how your writing style ports over to that medium, because I think it could make for some pleasantly uncomfortable storytelling. Thatís a good thing, by the way

Iím planning to critique Vatsy and Bruno when I have a reasonable amount of time to devote to it, and I want to take a look at Death Dragonís work too. As an aside, anyone have any opinions on my prologue, other than essentially "It's awesome, MOAR!"? While I appreciate a nice ego boost as much as the next person, criques are good too!