Critique: Worlds Without Number by RationalGoblin
Overall, I like this story intro, and I want to know where this kid finds himself. That said, there's a couple of things that stick out to me as problems. The first is just a grammatical nitpick:
Quote Originally Posted by RationalGoblin View Post
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“So, Doctor Harold Longsworth, we're supposed to believe that the universe is one big house, and we're roommates with a billion different worlds? That's foolishness, and uneconomical. How do we compete with that amount of people? Furthermore, how are we supposed to believe that this 'Trans-Warp Gauntlet' of yours works? You haven't shown us any tests or proof! We haven't even SEEN your gauntlet.”
I don't like reading the words 'science fiction' in a science fiction story. In most cases, as is the case with yours, it screams YOU'RE READING A SCIENCE FICTION STORY! which immediately jars me out of suspension of disbelief. I think that 'high tech' or 'bizarre' or 'revolutionary' would be better adjectives here.
Quote Originally Posted by RationalGoblin View Post
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It was a strange glove, to tell you the truth, a sleek silver metal sleeve that looked just like a human hand and arm, but with hundreds of tiny wires protruding out of it like a kraken's tentacles. A thousand different tiny glowing buttons were affixed to it, along with a small computer screen on the palm, signifying its almost science fiction nature.
Overall, a good start!