I wrote really good critiques for the last three stories. Then my IE messed up and lost them. Here's hoping I can remember the gist of it.

Critique of Empty Ruins by DeathDragon
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You set up the scene nicely. Your dialogue is very good and the swordfight is great. But you need to not shy away from explaining things. I'd care more about the characters if I understood what they were fighting for, why Alec switched sides, and why they are both so loyal to their causes they had to fight to the death. Don't tell us who's right or wrong, but at least tell us what the argument is about. Also, it would be nice to have some idea what they look like and about what time period this is taking place in. I give it a B+


Critique of Mask Masque by Kallisti
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Your use of imagery is very good, but that's about the only redeeming quality here. I know being all mysterious seems like a good idea, but all you're really doing is alienating readers. I don't know enough about what is going on or who Robert is to really care enough to read through this. It felt like a chore, which is never a good thing. I have no problem with a non-linear story, but you need some context for each scene, like when it takes place or why it's important. If these are memories (even that much isn't clear) you could get a bit more into Robert's head and follow his thought process as he goes from one scene or the next. Leave out the Italian stock characters; it just makes the whole thing seem pretentious. Also, the whole mask thing could be done more subtly, more as an underlying theme and less as a plot device to show these disconnected scenes. It would actually be more powerful that way. C-


Critique of Inner Demons by banjo1984
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This is my favorite out of these three. You strike the right mix of exposition and mystery. The story is compelling enough to make me want to read on. There are some punctuation errors, but those are really nitpicks. I'd like a bit of a better idea of what Sebastian looks like. His suit is a nice detail, but try to subtly work in a couple more. Also, try to make Longing's speech a little more consistent. My advice is to figure out how a toddler talks and make Longing talk the same way. For example, toddlers always use I when referring to themselves, but don't use pronouns when referring to others. A-


My story is coming up.