Monster rearing for fun and defense against international communism:

So, Patriotic young citizen of one of our excellent western or eastern democracies and/or monarchies, you've decided to join one of our national defense organizations.

Spot on!

In today's tough times, we need that kind of "can do" spirit in our citizens more than ever. Of course, some of these good, patriotic youngsters are... a mite dim. Not you, I'm sure, but we all have a duty, and they need to know.

LIF: Health, vitality, and stick-toitiveness in secret missions to find and kill any dirty reds!

POW: Power is the ability to hurt dirty reds and insufficiently patriotic fellows. A must have for any true fan of pain and violence.

INT: Now, some may say this is just for sissies. They may say that eggheads are "squares". Well, King Anthony Stark of England was an egghead, and his robot armies formed the basis for modern capitalism! Intelligence lets a monster search out and find rare supplies in missions, kill more efficiently with dirty tactics and fire magic fireball!

ACC: Accuracy. You aren't that dumb, are you?

SPD: How fast your little monster can move. Which means how well it can avoid treachery and good natured roughhousing. Useful.

DEF: Resistance to pain. Simple, and, if you're using battleship steel like I advised in chapter seven, completely unnecessary.


Ah. Good to see those of you who were a bit dim catching up with the rest of us. Take a day or two to consider the first chapter, then move on to chapter two:

It isn't murder if the victim is a commie. Or you can convince the judge he is.