I want in on this thread so you can all see how much of a terrible writer I am.

This is mostly my opinion on the way this is written.
Critique Moonlit Nights in Birmingham
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The problem I have with this passage, which Iím sure that other people have with it, is the fact that it keeps meandering around and not getting anything done. The character may have an interesting way of speaking/thinking, but when he narrates, he just bumbles on and on about things that arenít very relevant. Heís not a very good story teller, I couldnít help but feel jarred when he said he would get back to the story, and then not get back to it. You also lost a bit of the characters way of speaking when you got later down the passage. The line ďSo, yeah, I was more than a little freaked out.Ē Was slightly out of character and completely made me lose sense of the characterís voice.

You are fully aware of the fact that your character bumbles around and gets off track, however you just hand wave it off. I donít find it humors myself, just yawn inducing.

I think you could do better; you should just keep in mind how the reader feels when the narrator is very difficult to deal with. Iím sure itís possible to improve this piece, just cut some things out.