2010-07-15, 07:08 PM (ISO 8601)
Barbarian in the Playground
Re: [3.5] Jade Throne, discipline for the Kings of Battle [ToB/LoB, Discipline]
Pretty neat. Makes me think of the Blademasters in the Wheel of Time series.
My commentary is more aimed at effects levels and such. I'll let someone else judge damage appropriateness. Anyway, here we go:
Regal Blade - may make more sense as a Strike. Unfortunately, this style has very few Boosts so I can understand the decision.
Jade Zephyr's Dance - This could actually be made into a Boost.
Perseverance of Jade - this is where things get difficult. Apparently, you're zapping Iron Heart and Diamond Mind out of existence, so me saying "this is 3 different maneuvers in one" is probably moot to you. Anyway, being a level 4 maneuver, it's probably OK. However, I would get rid of the last bit. As is written, it effectively gives you evasion and mettle, in addition to being 3 maneuvers in one. With the evasion/mettle addendum, this maneuver feels like it should be at least 6th.
Final Blow - I'm oddly comfortable with this. However, the bit about making a Heal Check and such seems feasible to split off into another maneuver. For instance, a low level Boost that simply tells you the HP of all adjacent targets (probably as a percentage of their max to better synergize with the rest of the school). Thematically, this is sort of like a duelist attempting to gauge how weary his opponent is growing.
Blade of Perfection - I assume this attack does not deal critical damage? Also, miss chance?
Riddle of Steel - just has a typo in the save logic section -- it says you're stunned for 1d4 rounds if you succeed the save instead of upon failure.
Jade Mastery Stance - Perhaps add the stipulation that if you fail this save, you cannot attack [i]for that round[i]. As written, someone with lots of attacks gets lots of opportunities to succeed and be immune for 24 hours. I think attempting the save once/round with success indicating you're immune for 24 hours and failure meaning you have to wait 'til next round to try again does an 8th level stance more justice.
Mechanically, I'm not sure how I feel about a school with so much stuff that's basically Iron Heart + Diamond Mind, but obviously you're not using a lot of the standard disciplines. Anyway, the school seems quite solid.
Also: your Libram of Battle link doesn't work.
Last edited by Pechvarry; 2010-07-15 at 07:10 PM.