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    Eldritch Horror in the Playground Moderator
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    Feb 2005

    Default Re: Hell, It's About Time: Let's Play Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty Campaign Mode!

    Update 3: In Which The Phrase "Bug Out" Takes On An Entirely New Meaning

    Zero Hour


    October 3rd, 2504
    Dear Diary:
    This was not a good day at all, this was a very bad day indeed…I think I’m lucky to be sitting here writing to you now.

    Of course it started out just fine, like I said earlier. Everyone was relaxing, waiting for Raynor’s battleship to come pick us up. Raynor himself went off somewhere with that weirdo Tychus, probably to drink, but I couldn’t have cared. We were finally leaving this ball of dirt, and I even got some of the soldiers to flirt with me! I almost didn’t notice something land on my foot, but it smelled really bad – it looked like a chunk of meat someone had burned on the grill. A few more bits of charred steak fell out of the sky, and we all looked up.

    I screamed. There was a meteor falling down, a big ball of fire headed right towards us! We all started running, but it didn’t land on top of us, and it didn’t crunch, it splattered. That was weird enough, and then the thing split open like some giant egg and these things climbed out. Like big, purple-green lizards the size of dogs, with big curved blades growing out of their back. I knew what they were, everyone did…Zerg. Emperor Mengsk had fought them off years ago, at the same time he had broken the Confederacy and forced the Protoss to retreat out from our territory. But what were they doing here? Not that it mattered, really. They were here, our battleship (and Captain Horner) weren’t. Hopefully he got here in time, because I really didn’t want to die without seeing him again.

    We had a good place to defend, at least. Two bridges were the only way to get into our base, and they set up some fortified bunkers to hide in. The situation must have been really desperate, because they even gave me a gun! Not a lot of ammo, but it took me five minutes to find the safety, so that wasn’t a big problem.

    The defenses went up just in time, though…the sensors showed Zerg falling from the sky and landing all around us, and they finally got their act together enough to attack. The Raiders drove them back easily enough, but that was only the beginning. They attacked again, and again, like they had an infinite amount of creatures to throw away just so we’d run out of ammo eventually. For all I know, maybe that was their plan, if things like the Zerg can plan at all.

    Apparently we weren’t the only survivors left on the planet, either – there was a group of local militia not far from our base, pinned down by a bunch of Zerg. Raynor led a squad himself to rescue him – I was impressed. For all that he’s a drunkard and the most wanted man, like, ever, he’s really brave. Where was I? Panicking and waiting to die, mostly.

    Of course, the aliens proved me wrong about the whole “only two ways to get us” thing…but you can’t blame me, no one told me the Zerg could fly. Big ugly serpent-things that puked acid everywhere; I think they’re technically called mutalisks, but the squad I was tagging along behind insisted on calling them “trogdors” for some reason, I didn’t try to ask why.

    The critters were hammering us from all sides, so Mr. Raynor decided to try and let some of the pressure off by sending our reserve force to attack one of their “hatchery clusters” that was breeding their attack troops. I was sure he was crazy, sending half our troops out from behind the defensive perimeter on what was probably a suicide mission…so I followed, camera out and trying my best not to look like Zerg food. That was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever experienced, Diary…walking on the gooey stuff they called “creep”, trying not to let it grow up over your boots. The hatcheries were well-defended, I watched five men skewered and eaten in one bite by these giant fanged tentacles growing out of the ground – but we made it out, half of us at least, after laying explosive bombs all over the hatcheries and their egg deposits. No one waited to see if they would rebuild, the com channel was full of too much screaming from the main base.

    On the way back, another bunch of militia turned out to be hiding in a building, and they joined up as we bravely ran away. I think even Dominion troops would have been welcome at that point, because the Zerg just weren’t letting up.

    We made it back behind the bunkers just in time. The Zerg had started dropping more egg-meteor things, smack in the middle of us. They were in our base and killing our dudes, and Raynor had sent the reserves out on attack. Luckily, nothing critical was smashed or eaten before we squashed them, but the perimeter was crumbling.

    There were just too many of them, though – Captain Tychus Obvious suggested that we retreat to the high ground…thankfully Mr. Raynor was a bit ahead of him, already ordering our second line of defense.

    Now only a single ramp and some bunkers were keeping me and everyone else from becoming alien munchies. It’s not a fun feeling, Diary, knowing you’re going to die, probably screaming as rabid Zerglings tear your limbs off. I was wishing that Kate was here too…it wouldn’t make dying any less painful, but I wouldn’t have minded so much if I got to watch her eaten first. She wasn’t though, it was just me, Mr. Raynor, and his Raiders. Everyone was manning the walls, crammed inside the bunkers or standing behind them with welding torches and acid-neutralizing spray hoses.

    I killed a Zerg, Diary! Well, I shot a Zerg at least. Or pulled the trigger while my gun was pointed in the direction of the Zerg, which should totally count. It probably did, there were so many it seemed like I was looking at the tide coming in. Except thetide is made of water, not chitin and teeth and claws and acid, so it wasn’t actually like the tide at all. Then, the most glorious sight in the world appeared above us – Captain Horner had managed to fight though the swarm blockading Mar Sara and was dropping down from orbit. His laser batteries flattened every Zerg in the base, and all of us loaded up aboard as fast as we could.

    Notes: This was miserable. I had to replay it three or four times to get enough good screenshots. I'm also not sure why the game decided to throw on that ugly blue color filter for everything except the cutscene and that one shot of the swarm crossing the bridge.

    In other news, though, it's Audience Participation Time!

    First, the Armory is unlocked. I have 100,000 credits to spend, and can buy:
    -Marine Stimpacks (50,000, take damage for bonus speed/damage)
    -Marine Combat Shields (60,000, +10 Marine HP)
    -Advanced Medical Facilities (60,000, build Medics without a Tech Lab)
    -Or save my cash for later.

    I'd love to get those Advanced Medical Facilities, but I am at the whims of you all.

    Also, do I:
    -Go to help Dr. Ariel Hanson's farming colony (potential +3 Zerg Research)
    -Collect the next artifact fragment (potential +4 Protoss Research)
    Last edited by The Glyphstone; 2010-10-29 at 10:37 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Red Fel, on quest rewards View Post
    "Is a stack of ten pancakes too many pancakes to give to the party, even if most of them fell on the floor and one or two were stepped on? I wanted to give my party pancakes as a reward but I'm unsure if it's too much. The pancakes are also laced with blowfish poison so the party would have to get an antitoxin before they could eat the ones which weren't pulverized by shoes."

    I don't think anyone would want those pancakes even if you paid them to eat them.