How to handle a social encounter with no social skills? (3.5)

[theMycon]

In brief, I need to sell information on the black market when I'm a moderate profile "good guy". The quotes are because I'm "polite-neutral, but kill evil things." Such as a few mob bosses, but that was entirely in self-defense and because I was caught up in someone else's problems.

My first instinct was "go to a bard. Get 'em to give you a potion of disguise self, work on a disguise, maybe a potion of glibness, and a gather information to find it. The expected cost is only about 20% of the expected reward, and you mechanically won't be able to lose."

However, that's the easy solution. And I want a new, inventive idea, something that takes advatage of the situation in particular, rather than using all-purpose spells.


Here's my resources:
0 charisma mod
a class without bluff, intimidate, diplomacy, or gather information
no party members who've put more than 2 points into any of them
A reputation as a charitable, helpful guy
Having killed off about 1/3rd of the black market (no internal wars, but still competing against eachother)
Them knowing this, without knowing my motivations (self-defense)
Nigh-total invulnerability for anything involving AC or saves
Most of the people who matter knowing I'm apparently invulnerable
The natural (real-world) ability to convince people the sun rises in the west and really is the chariot of Helios. Or whatever else is convenient.
A party wizard (Transmutation specialist) who doesn't really have much better to do than help.
A reputation as a crazy cultist for a made-up god.

Goal-
To sell all the business notes (ledgers, contacts, contracts, personal files, personell files, etc) of the latest boss I offed (far away from the city). Without employing a mid-level bard. Still hoping to be cheap.

Exacerbating problems-
There're copies out there.
There're rumors he's already dead.
A team-mate already tried and failed miserably before even locating a fence.
They sent out a blanket "stay away or we kill you" notice.
I'm technically lawful

So, boned or not boned? Should I just take the easy way out and have a bard do most of the work? Or is a plan possible with all I've got going for me?

[theMycon]

So... I'm boned, eh?

One idea to work off of...

If I've got his personell files, he has to have at least one double agent/person he suspects of being a double agent. I can read through them & look up who might be interested in buying & where they can be sold. Or at least, someone who might know this.

[ZeroNumerous]

Hire a bard to make a Gather Information check for you. Then hire an Expert to make an Appraise check on the information you have. Once you know where to go and how much it's worth then just go there and try to sell the stuff. If the first guy you talk to tries to kill you, kill him then look at the others and ask if they want to try their luck. You don't even need Intimidate unless your DM rules NPCs aren't people and throw themselves at you anyway.

[Flickerdart]

You're nigh-invulnerable and have the reputation? Deck yourself out in defensive magic and just stand there and take it. After they spend 10 rounds not putting a scratch on you, I'm sure they'll be willing to listen. If not, reach out and kill one of them with a cheerful smile. With a good guy reputation, seeing you do something so scary should turn their knees to jelly.

Plus, severed heads of everyone else who was in the room should give you mad Intimidate bonuses.

[Aether]

The complication with hirelings is that, people are going to learn things just from the questions you ask and things you look for... And if somebody's going to appraise your information, that means they'd have to read it.


Some of this stuff might depend on your DM, and group's, style.

Bluff, Diplomacy and Sense Motive will be useful for you.

[Closet_Skeleton]

Shoot everyone.

[Artanis]

I suggest a lemonade stand, only instead of refreshments, you sell the financial information of a "legitimate businessman".

[LibraryOgre]

Really, your best option here is to hire your talent.

You might also try letters. Instead of going to them in person, ask if you can write a letter to them, to be delivered by an intermediary.