What do brains taste like?[D&D 3.5]

[wadledo]

I'm making a Illithid//Divner for a gestalt game, and one of the other players expressed his concern that since one side of his was Psionics, he would be very tasty to my character.

My first thought was that a psion, having such a focused mind and all, would taste like bran, or possibly oats.

Then I got to thinking.....
What do particular classes brains taste like to sentient brain eating races?

Bards would taste like Pizza,
Barbarians: Steak, or possibly BBQ Ribs.

What do you think other classes would taste like?

[Fax Celestis]

Warblade brains taste like victory.

[Malacode]

Monk brains taste like sawdust
Warlock brains are full of nutritious Win
Paladin brains... Wait, paladins have brains?

[Defiant]

Actual brains taste rather delicious. Though it's been a while...

[MammonAzrael]

Well clearly Clerics taste like porridge, Rogues like ice cream, Rangers like tacos, Bards like diet soda, Wizards like burgers, and Fighters like turkey.

Factotum brains taste like chicken.
Monk brains taste like burning.

[Drascin]

Wizard brains are pure sugar powerdrinks - nutritious and energetic, but eat two wizard brains and an illithid will most likely start suffering a sugar rushandstarttalkinglikethisandohgodwhyareyouallmov ingsoslowly?.

Cleric brains depend on the deity, but usually have a soft, nice flavor that stays in the tentacles for a while after you gulp it.

Druid brains, particularly those of the Planar bent, taste like POWER. And have a minty aftertaste too.

Factotum brains, having so much stuff, are so filling that a single brain can last for two meals.

Pyrokineticist brains are pretty damn spicy.

Crusader brains are very crunchy and hard to swallow, but if you like sour flavor they're good.

[Ravens_cry]

Nah, they just have a lawful good squirrel on a treadwheel.
In all seriousness though, brains would likely taste like brains. People do eat them by the way, preferably cooked, so that would likely change the taste somewhat.

[BRC]

No, Factotum brains are either a stew, or somthing artificially flavored.

Hellfire Warlocks are SPICY!
Barbarian Brains taste like spam.

[Shpadoinkle]

Barbarians = ramen noodles. Maybe the chili flavor.

[Gamebird]

Brains taste like brains. Pretty filling, kind of lacking in the texture department, but maybe that's just how I've cooked them. Good with scrambled eggs and salsa.

Assuming you don't have the luxury of removing them from the animal you've slaughtered, a good speciality butcher shop will carry them. Or at least be able to direct you to a butcher shop that does.

[Dyllan]

Incantrix brains taste like cheese.

[Starscream]

I think druids taste like granola.
Wizards taste like skittles and doctor pepper.
Bards taste like patchouli oil.
Sorcerers taste like pocky.
Warlocks taste like Robert Smith's hair.
Barbarians are lite brains - no flavor at all.
Clerics taste like cheese.

[Inhuman Bot]

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0031.html

[Malacode]

You know, I reckon Race would influence it too. A Gnomish brain, for example, would taste like Inventiveness (Yes, that's a flavour). A Gelatinous Cube's brain would taste like, well.. Acidic jelly, just like the rest of it I suppose

[Kris Strife]

They go well with fava beans and a nice chianti.

[insecure]

I love the smell of roasted brains in the morning. Smells like off-topic.

[Tusalu]

Elvish brains tastes like fruit, dwarven brains like stone, sorcerer brains like POWER, rogue brains like ... darkness?

[Devils_Advocate]

@ Defiant, Ravens_cry, Gamebird: Various weird brain-devouring monsters can sense the minds of beings whose brains they consume. We're not talking about the actual sense of taste here, just something functionally analogous to it, but very, very different, like sight is from touch.

Yeesh. You can nitpick terminology, sure. (I feel like a fire elemental explaining that pyromania isn't inherently bad, here.) But there is an actual point here, though it's clearly being addressed in humorous rather than terribly serious fashion.

Human Fighter: Weak flavor. Generally sort of blah.
Forest Gnome Druid: Strong flavor. Rather overwhelming.
High Elf Bard: Fruity. Energetic.
Dwarf Cleric of Moradin: Hearty, but a bit bland.
Half-Orc Wizard: Like pickle-flavored ice cream, man. Ugh.
Wild Elf Sorcerer: Tastes great! Less filling!
Aasimar Paladin: Oog,something about this disagrees with me.
Elan Psion: Kinda like pork tastes to you guys.
Shifter Barbarian: Wild game is better for you, but it's not nearly as yummy.
Changeling Factotum: OMG, most delicious thing EVAR.

[Saint Nil]

Its not about class, its about personality. Very angry=spicy, very serious and boring=bland, very nice=sweet. And so on and so forth.

[Malacode]

Are Jewish Mindflayers allowed to eat pig brains? What about Muslim ones? No Brains after sutset during Ramadan...

[monty]

Have you ever looked at the nutritional content of brains? They're ridiculously high in cholesterol. Mind flayers should have gone extinct a long time ago.

[Ridureyu]

Well, duck brains kind of taste like sour chicken...

[Innis Cabal]

Fatty and geletain-esque. No real flavor to them outside of that.

Then again. What does beef taste like?

[7th lvl scrub]

Have you ever looked at the nutritional content of brains? They're ridiculously high in cholesterol. Mind flayers should have gone extinct a long time ago.

You sir/ma'am have just won 1(one) internet(s) and 10(ten) cookie(s).

Back on topic I'll list my opinions from base classes and certain other classes.

Artificer: Canadian Bacon.
Barbarian: A very tough steak.
Bard: Full of mysteries and stories, some sort of stew or soup.
Blackguard: Pain and suffering? Varies depending on taste buds.
Cleric: Depends on deity.
Druid: Probably something along the lines of venison.
Fighter: On par with spinach.
Monk: Whatever pure devotion tastes like.
Paladin: See Monk, only add/substitute law and order.
Ranger: See druid.
Rogue: Pure sugar.
Sorcerer: Ramen Noodles.
Warblade: Real Bacon.
Wizard: Like instant pudding, all you need is some time and you win.

[Kris Strife]

I love the smell of roasted brains in the morning. Smells like off-topic.

Almost to second page and still on topic. :p

Would the person's general food choices affect their brains?

Soda: causes belching and hyperness. Inflict 1d8 Sonic damage once, gain haste for 10 rounds.

Beans, cabbage and mexican food: Use stinking cloud as extordinary ability 3 times.

Etc.

[Assassin89]

I think that personality, class choice, and stats factor in to the taste of a brain.
Charisma is like sugar, fat, salt or flavor
Intelligence and Wisdom are the nutrients
Low intelligence and Low wisdom amounts to no nutrition at all.

[Devils_Advocate]

Potentially correlating with mental flavor are mental ability scores (duh), race, class, and alignment.

Ur-Priest: Like cheddar.

Are Jewish Mindflayers allowed to eat pig brains? What about Muslim ones?

Five pounds of flax.

Have you ever looked at the nutritional content of brains? They're ridiculously high in cholesterol. Mind flayers should have gone extinct a long time ago.

I think they only eat like one a week, actually. Lords of Madness discusses their diet.

[monty]

I think they only eat like one a week, actually. Lords of Madness discusses their diet.

But the ratio of cholesterol to other nutrients is still really high. To eat enough brains to survive would give a disproportionate amount of cholesterol in any case.

[Deth Muncher]

Are Jewish Mindflayers allowed to eat pig brains? What about Muslim ones? No Brains after sutset during Ramadan...

I, on the behalf of all Jewish members of the playground, would like to present you with an Internet. Happy Hanukkah.

[wadledo]

Talking literally, Mind-flayers need one brain a month minimum to get the proper psychic energy to function.
More is good, but it's like eating more than one vitamin tablet a day.

I wonder what Wu Jen, ToM, and MoI classes would taste like?