Implausible and idiotic D&D weapons

[Frog Dragon]

So this thread is for pointing out any weapns which simply dont make sense

I call Orc Double Axe and Dire Mace both for very similar reasons.
In order to strike with an axe or a mace effectively you need strenght in your strike. It is only achievable by wide movement. You cannot thrust with it so you simply cannot generate the energy of movement without decapitating yourself mid-strike. Dire Mace has much the same problems. Any more desing brainfarts that no-one would actually use?

[Whiplord]

Dire Flail.

[Frog Dragon]

Yeah that's even worse than my examples.

[Raging Gene Ray]

Throwing glass bottles of Holy Water/Acid/Alchemist's Fire like grenades. It just seems like they wouldn't always break or splash as much as the rules say. Shouldn't they be dealing slashing/piercing damage from the shattered glass, anyhow?

[Starbuck_II]

In D&D, the Sai. A weapon designed for disarming but worse than every other weapon that a Monk can use.

Really, who makes a disarming light weapon that only grants +4 bonus? It will only negate the -4 for being light.

Might as well use a Quarterstaff (+4 for being 2 handed and no penalty).

[Spiryt]

Your description is very vague, as there are many more important reasons why dire mace or axe don't make sense - like the fact that the very soil of mace or axe is mass concentrated on the end... Not on both ends.

Anyway, warhammer and greataxe don't have any sense drawn as in Players Handbook.

[Tequila Sunrise]

Spiked chain and any double ended weapons. Aside from staves. The others are just absurd. Oh and the sling being a simple weapon. Slings are anything but simple to use.

TS

[Siosilvar]

Spiked chain

Has a better picture in the back of Complete Warrior, but still is ridiculous.

[Tengu_temp]

Braid blade.

[Innis Cabal]

Its not in fact. There are several very similar chain weapons. Such as the Surujin (Not spiked per say) or the chain whip.

[Another_Poet]

Most of the swords are ridiculous to use if you go by their weight in the PHB.

[Istari]

Spiked chain and any double ended weapons. Aside from staves. The others are just absurd. Oh and the sling being a simple weapon. Slings are anything but simple to use.
TS

Double bladed swords aren't too bad but the other ones are

[Spiryt]

Most of the swords are ridiculous to use if you go by their weight in the PHB.

No, I won't say ridiculous. 4 pounds is very heavy for one handed sword, but there are many modern replicas that work fairly OK being that weight. The one handed sword like that wouldn't be very good, unless very well thought and crafted, but it would be passable. Not ridiculous.

Same for other swords, hell some bihanders actually were 8 pounds.

Some other weapons weight, like 8 pound mace indeed is ridiculous though.

[JackMage666]

Any bludgeoning weapon made mithral, since you lose half the weight and should do a bit less damage.

[monty]

Most idiotic weapon in D&D? A gnome.

Hey, if I have Really Throw Anything, it's technically sort of a weapon.

[Tsotha-lanti]

Double edged swords aren't too bad but the other ones are

I'd hope double-edged swords aren't that bad, yeah, considering the vast majority of European ones are that.

Double-bladed swords, however, are ridiculous.

[Frog Dragon]

Double bladed ones are actually not nearly as bad thought still bad desing. You can plausibly thrust with them putting your weight behind a blow without cleaving yourself in half.

[Collin152]

Double bladed ones are actually not nearly as bad thought still bad desing. You can plausibly thrust with them putting your weight behind a blow without cleaving yourself in half.

It still results with a blade by your torso, the slightest twist of which could result in your person being cleft in twain.

[RTGoodman]

I think THIS THREAD is appropriate. And THIS post in particular.

[Spiryt]

Any bludgeoning weapon made mithral, since you lose half the weight and should do a bit less damage.

Well, that won't be such problem, just use more mithrall than you would use steel and balance definetly. I suppose that if mithral is so super material, much is possible with it.

Here are real hits:

Heavy weapons, such as those from from gold or platmum, are unwieldy but inflict additional damage

Yes, sword made out of gold, and even heavier. Wonderful idea * snark *

Only weapons made entirely or largely of metal (such as swords or axes) are affected; other weapons (such as spears) are not.

Why axe is made largely out of metal while spear is not?

Both taken from here, not sure in what source they appeared in.

[Raum]

So this thread is for pointing out any weapns which simply dont make sense

A list of weapons which do make sense would be shorter. Most of D&D's weapons stats are built for 'game' purposes rather than simulation. If you're comparing to real weapons I doubt a single one got everything correct.

But some of the more foolish weapons would include all double weapons other than a staff, the spiked chain, and the maul (depending on the supplement it was listed as up to 20 lbs if I remember correctly).

[Voidhawk]

Sai doing slashing damage, as if they're a type of sword.
They are actually held down the side of the forearm and are completely blunt, with a blunt tip, and would do bludgeoning damage as you punch with the 'pommel'.

[Triaxx]

Any weapon made from gold. Since it's a soft metal, it'd break on impact.

[arguskos]

The Gyrspike. If you don't know what I'm talking about, open up the Arms and Equipment Guide to the new weapons... and just weep.

[Epinephrine]

Heavy Crossbows dealing minimal damage.

The Lynxpaw

[Dr Bwaa]

spiked chain

regular spiked chains and the like are crazy, but would be possible to use with exotic weapon proficiency (similar weapons exist, as was pointed out earlier). However, the large spiked chains that certain fighters are so fond of.... now that's just ridiculous. Most people aren't tall enough to warrant their usage, and even if you could use it somehow, what are you going to do with it when you're not using it? Store it in your backpack? I think not. Tie it somewhere? I think not. Carry it? Not without tripping over it or taking horrible movement penalties. In fact you should only move at half speed anyway to avoid destroying yourself, even in combat.

some of these complaints work for a lot of other oversized weapons, too.


EDIT: the siangham. Goes in with the lot of monk weapons that just plain suck. (also: requires exotic weapon proficiency for what is effectively a chopstick)

[Tadanori Oyama]

Whip dagger.

Not as insane as some but putting a knife on the end of a bull whip? Seems like a good way to hurt yourself.

[Ebonsword]

While the weapon itself is not implausible, I always thought that it was ridiculous that a bastard sword required the exotic weapons proficiency.

So, let's see, a one-handed sword can be wielded using the martial weapons profiency. And a two-handed sword can be wielded using the martial weapons profiency. But a sword that can be wielded either one- or two-handed requires an additional proficiency?!

[TempusCCK]

The double axe is feasible, with incredible strength, but you certainly shouldn't be able to apply 1 and 1/2 strength bonus to it or wield it in two hands for power attack bonuses.

The dire-flail is just inane.

[KIDS]

I think THIS THREAD is appropriate. And THIS post in particular.

Oh my God. Thanks so much for linking those, I had such an insane fit of laughter that will carry me through the whole 2009 now :D