Shipping VI: Where Everyone Gets To Be On Top

[Helgraf]

D=
Cliffhanger, indeed!
Poor Rabbit's all jittery now, and that's where she's left off? Nagging curiosity, want. Need to know >.<

Soon enough Rabbit ... soon enough. :grins: I have to give Curly time too.

[UncleWolf]

Ok. I can do another Redmeption fic tonightm or I can do a Crazy Cristo.

Who wants what?

Crazy Cristo. because I'm in it.

But I won't get to see it since I need to sleep.

Good night and write well.

[Deathslayer7]

the ship is taking me longer then expected. It will be up some time tomorrow.

Goodnight.

[Lyinginbedmon]

Falling Into Shackles - a Redemption ship

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The air was beginning to grow cold, as soldiers huddled around campfires behind ridges of dirt and oak.

“How much longer do we sit here?”
“As long as Lord Mordokai orders us to. I’m not complaining about it, why are you?”
“Because it’s frikkin’ freezing out here!”

The pair sat on opposite sides of the fire, arrows and logs fuelling their heat. Their uniforms didn’t match; officially they were part of different units. Their home towns and upbringings were, however, identical.

“Why does artillery get the wood? Archery should get some of it, least then we could use it better.”
“Why do you always complain? Artillery pounds the enemy to pieces and we get to go home sooner.”
“Yeah, as ice cubes! I never signed up to freeze to death sitting behind the front line.”

In fact, he had never signed up. Strictly speaking, he was too young to do so, but when an antipaladin sees a conquest to be made conscription is loath to stay opposed to it.

How long had they been sitting here? Too long for either to recall, but the fire had been stoked and refuelled at least half a dozen times already. The sun had long since gone down, stars peeked out from behind the smoke and clouds, and a distinct crisp breeze was finding its way into their bones.

“How come it’s so cold tonight?”
“Don’t know, don’t much care.”
“No really, it was almost roasting in these unies all day; it’s the middle of summer for god’s sake! Why is it so cold tonight?”
“What makes you think I’d know?

It was true, the air was unsettlingly cold. And quiet, as well. For the past few hours there had been little noise, despite the battle continuing not half a mile away.
In a flash, a shape emerged in the campfire. The soldiers looked on in astonishment as it stood up and congealed into the form of a robed, bearded, man.

“Gentlemen.”

In a flash the figure was gone, but the fire swiftly grew hotter and brighter, belching a great choking mass of smoke in all directions. Though they couldn’t see them, the soldiers were all too aware that tiny spiders were crawling from the flames, approaching them both with murderous intent. Indeed, this was the case for every campfire, of which there were many, between the front line...

...and the commander’s tent.

-------------------------------------

In an instant the tent was unguarded, the soldiers ordered in vast numbers to protect it exploring instead the upper limits of airborne velocity. Mordokai's schemings were cut abruptly as the command tent followed them into the sky with barely a sound. Outside the tent stood the same robed old man.

"Mordokai"
"Lyinginbedmon? I must say this is a surprise."
"You're going to stop this war and I'm going to ensure you see either redemption or prosecution. Preferably both." Mordokai saw fit to now look up from his battle plans.
"Demands? You come here with telekinesis and..." he leant to one side to look behind him, seeing the plumes of smoke and anguished soldiers "...smoke and spiders, and the first thing you ask of me is demands to stop?"
"Yes. Would you like to see my next motions, or shall we cease the senseless violence now?"

"It's hardly senseless, uncle."

A fiendish tail uncurled from behind the armoured paladin, as a recognisable young devil stepped out of hiding.

"Harm and kill a few people, instill loyalty and fear in the rest. A single death may stop a few transgressions, but think how many are stopped by entire nations dying!"
"What are you doing here?"

Isaz coyly unfolded her wings and traced the end of the table with her tail, small patches of frost appeared across its surface. "Promotional work, mostly."
"This is not a business for hell to deal in, your father would disapprove."
"Not really, hell's seen a lot of changes since you were last there."

Lying suddenly became aware of the absence of a fallen paladin in the room, obscured by Isaz's spread wings. Behind him many were gathered, some with fire, some with axes, some with flares of mystic elements between their fingers. "No matter. You may see fit to tip the scales of morality..."

In an instant they too were gone into the night. "But I'm still here to put them right again."

Isaz stumbled on her words as the contents of the area began to levitate ominously, spinning about the region as if to halt any other intruders. Too many things for her to count circled them at harrying speeds, arrows would have a hard time penetrating this tornado of jetsam.

"Isaz, I think you'd best make your way home, now."

But one arrow did, regardless. A single arrow with a black tip passed through the cyclone, striking Lying in the back of the neck, piercing through his throat and sticking. In the instant of lost concentration and the millisecond of agony, Mordokai made his move.

Swiftly, the cyclone crashed to the ground as a familiar elderly forehead collided with earth. Seconds later, knees and a torso collided as well.

"Are there any other family members you would like to inform me of?"
"Strictly speaking we're not family."
"Good, have the corpse taken away and burned lest someone see fit to revive him against us."
"That won't do." Isaz pointed at the body, and already Mordokai could see it was making efforts to repair itself, arteries sealing and tissue weaving, the spine had begun to grow out towards making a new skull. "In a couple of hours he won't need to be revived. He can just heal himself."
"Then what can we do? Burn the body, ruin whatever remains."
"He's valuable, he's older than you and probably so with anyone else on this battlefield. He can tell us things that we can use."

Isaz's tail picked up the severed head of her godfather, she gazed into its eyes for a moment. They still shared the look of shock from the arrow that still pierced what little throat remained connected to it. All to quickly the head shattered as it froze in her touch.

"As you wish, take him to the dungeons, make sure he can't work his magics, and see to it that he stays put."
"Yes, Lord Mordokai."

She grinned.

Aaand now it's done!

[ghost_warlock]

Okie dokie, archive has been updated.

Maybe I'll actually have time to work on something of my own now...

[Raistlin1040]

A Wonderland Fic: Tea in the Tree (Vespe, Raistlin)

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Vespe Ratavo, clad in his red jacket and spotted bowtie, sat on a ceiling, drinking tea upside down. It was a strange sight to behold, the elf's ears hanging in the air, giving him the appearance of a rabbit. The tea should be falling onto the ground, but this WAS Wonderland after all. Perhaps Vespe simply had forgotten about gravity, and therefore wasn't affected by it. It made sense. Not really.

Either way, Vespe was bored and drunk. Two things that, in his opinion, should never ever go together. He looked around, the hallway in the building entirely empty. He frowned. He suddenly fell to the ground with a crash, dropping his teacup with a crash. He stood up, his ears still sticking straight up. Hmm. He said, stumbling around, trying to steady himself. He closed his eyes and rubbed at them. When he opened, a figure could be seen walking towards him. Even with his "Tea-Goggles", he could make out a few features, including a dark blue hat. A Hatter.

Hello. Vespe said, not wanting to be rude, even as he swayed side to side, his legs practically moving of their own accord. The Hatter had a teapot in his hand and lifted it up, pouring it straight into his mouth. Greetings. A meet you to pleasure. Vespe frowned. Was the Hatter actually talking backwards, or was he just further gone on the tea than he thought? I am Hatter Raistlin. The Hatter said. Vespe leaned against the wall, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. When he opened, he could see fairly clearly. He took a good look at the Hatter. He was tall, wore his dark hat and a blue coat, dark pants and boots, and his dark eyes were framed by blue and black eyeliner.

Vespe Ratavo. I see your broken is teacup. The Hatter produced a new cup from his coat pocket, handing it to Vespe. Would some you like? Vespe nodded, and Hatter Raistlin poured him a nice big cup, to the brim. Vespe took a delicate sip, not wanting to overdo it, but the Hatter pushed Vespe's arm up, effectively making the elf chug the cup. He sputtered. What was that for? Vespe asked, already feeling the tea's effects. Gits and shiggles. Hatter Raistlin replied.

---

A few hours later, the two drunken Wonderlanders sat on the ground outside. Do you know what today *hic* is? Thurwednesday? It's my Unbirthday. You are serious? It's mine well as! That...that makes us almost like TWINS! Triplets. There's two of you. Vespe turned sideways, looking in vain for his other triplet. Do you know...what we should do? Hmm? We should go get some more tea. Oh definately. The Hatter stood up and pressed his teapot to a knot in the tree, pulling on a branch. When nothing happened, he frowned. Here *hic* let me do it! Vespe stood up and jumped up an impressive distance, landing on the branch, shaking it down. Tea began to flow from the tree hole into the pot. Hatter Raistlin looked at Vespe, grinning. Oh we going are to friends be.

[Reinholdt]

@ lying- Interesting. I never really figured Mordokai would knowingly jump in with demons so early. Unknowingly sure, but knowingly? Hmmm...

@ Raist- Vespe and gravity are fun! Awesome work!

[Deathslayer7]

Nothing Good Ever Comes Out Of Kindness

starring The 9, now The 7

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The group was quietly talking in the back as Cristo prepared to land, and Twobit hummed the song the Oompa Loompas had just finished singing. Quite a catchy tune.Cristo spoke up. Listen up ladies. he said. I'm
only going to explain this once. The next stop of our tour is at hand. Outside, is the farm pasture. This is where we grow our own animals and crops.

Isn't that unhealthy for them? Happy asked.

Who cares? They're animals. They don't feel.

Yes they do!

Not the point. Cristo said, getting back on track. Out in the fields somewhere, there is one animal
you should be afraid of. We call it "The Thing." If you should see it, run as fast as you can.

But what is "The Thing?" Reinholdt asked.

It is better off if you don't know. Ignorance is bliss. Now get out of my sub. he said, opening the latch. The group climbed out, and stood on a small dock. In front of them, cattle grazed on the plants randomly throughout, and a giant red barn stood at the far end of the gigantic room. The group stared at the tall grass that rose up to the height of their knees.

Cristo spoke into a speaker. Release the bait.

Bait? What bait? Happy asked.

"The Thing" tries to kill anyone who tries to cross this grass.

Isn't that dangerous? Wolfbane asked.

That's why we release bait. To occupy its attention. A bell sounded.

Now run with me, and don't fall behind. With that, he sprinted into the grass, quickly running away
from the group. The others glanced at each other.

"The Thing" won't be fooled twice. I would hurry if I were you! he shouted behind him. The group sprang into motion and ran after him. They ran into the grass, and after a good minute, they reached the barn, panting.

Cristo smiled at them, not in the least bit tired. Everyone here? he asked. Destro looked around. Where's Rabbit? he asked, his voice frantic.

Cristo looked into the grass, but didn't see anything. Oh dear. "The Thing" must have gotten her. Such a shame. I wouldn't expect to find the bones either. Destro grabbed him by his shirt and lifted him off the ground. Where's my daughter!? he yelled at him.

Cristo looked at him. I'm afraid she is dead most likely. Deestro punched him in the face. Cristo stumbled back, his nose bleeding. He glared at Destro, but his attention was already back to searching over the grass. We have to find her! Get those Oompa Loompas. Go out and search for her!

For who? Rabbit's familiar voice asked. Destro turned and raced toward her, picking her up and hugging her. You're all right. he said, relief in his voice.

Of course I'm all right. she said struggling to get out. She finally maanaged before she showed him a rabbit. Dad. I found this rabbit in the grass. Can I keep it?

Cristo turned his head at the word rabbit. He paled as he saw what she held. Run! he shouted. It's "The Thing!" The bunny hissed and jumped at Cristo's face. He brought his cane down and whacked it to the ground. It was thrown to the floor, only to jump at him a second time. He blocked it with the cane again. A loud crunch could be heard as it snapped in half, clearly bitten through. The rabbit shot into the grass, hiding. Cristo backed up slowly as Wolfbane pulled out his shield.

The Oompa Loompas gathered in the barn and started humming once more. Soon, singing began.

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do.
I have another puzzle for you.
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-da-dee.
If you are wise, you'll listen to me.
Watch out for the evil rabbit!
It has a very nasty habit.
It likes to hunt and kill .
So we wouldn't recommend standing still.
If you do,
Say goodbye and adieu.
because you wont survive.
for you will not be aliveeeeeee!

Beware of the evil vampire bunny!

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da.
Given good luck, you will go far.
You will live in happiness too.
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do. With that, they watched from the barn.

Everyone go to the barn. Watch out for "The Thing." he looked over the grass, but not a single blade moved.

What was that? Destro asked, in disbelief. It's an evil vampire bunny rabbit. We could never get rid of it. It's one of the few dangers, just like the Piranha Plant. This one is more dangerous though. Where is it? he rummaged through his billions of pockets, pulling out random objects. A lighter, a set of large keys on a ring, a rubber duck?..., he put that in a second later. Then he found it. Aha! There it is. He pulled out a large egg with a cross on it.

Is that an egg? Dirk asked, quite confused.

Not just a normal egg, it's a holy hand grenade egg. He said, beaming proudly. It can kill the bunny on a direct hit. But I have never been able to hit it, because it is so bloody fast. You. he said, pointing to Rabbit. Can stall it long enough for me to kill it. Then we will no longer have to deal with the danger.

I will not do that! she said, indignant.

Cristo frowned. But... he was cut off as a HappyTutrle screamed. Everyone looked at her. She was holding the bunny as well. It's so cute! she screamed in delight. Cristo pulled the pin on the grenade. The bunny hissed and shot between his feet towards Reinholdt. It jumped and attached itself to his face. MMMMFFF! he cried, the sound being muffled. Cristo threw the grenade straight at Reinholdt. Wolfbane saw the grenade heading towards his grandson.

Noooo! he cried and jumped in front of the grenade, holding out his shield.

BOOM!

Dust and Earth scattered to the ground, and maybe even a few pieces of Wolfbane as well. Dust and smoke were in the air, and everyone was coughing. Soon it settled, and Reinholdt lay there, hideously burned. Wolfbane wasn't there at all, only a charred and broken shield remained.

Did I get it? Cristo asked not really caring about the scene before him. He pointed at a Oompa Loompa. Go into the grass. The Oompa Loopa paled. Go! Cristo ordered, and he did. His knees quaked as he stepped five feet out. Ten now. Fifteen. He sighed in relief.

Screech! The Oompa Loompa dissapeared from view as "The Thing" pounced on him.

Damn! Cristo said. Stupid Wolf. Why would you get in the way of a grenade.

Twobit hummed the new song. An Oompa Loompa came out of the barn, and kicked him in the shins. Ow! he cried.

That was a warning. Cristo said. They don't like it when others sing their songs. Makes them unoriginal. Do it again, and you'll have to battle them. Now then. Shall we move on?

He talked to the nearest Oompa Loompa in Oopish.

<Get rid of Reinholdt's body after we leave. Give it to "The Thing.">

The Oompa Loompa nodded. Now then. On we go! The group followed closely on his heels.

[Reinholdt]

Funny.
Well except for the whole being hideously burned thing.

[Destro_Yersul]

Well, the forums are back now! And to celebrate, I shall bring you the next installment of SotR.

The FellowShip:

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Destro - Gandalf
Reinholdt - Frodo (hobbit)
DragonRider (DeeRee) - Sam(antha)(hobbit)
TwoBit - Pippin (hobbit)
Cristo - Merry (hobbit)
Nil - Aragorn
Fred - Gimli
Lex - Boromir (inexplicably female)
Artemis - Legolas (also female)

the Ship of the Rings: the ridiculously long epic begins.
Part 6
Starring The Fellowship (appearances by Celtois as Arwen, Raistlin as Elrond and Dirk Kris as Bilbo)

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Hey, Reinholdt, come here for a second. Got some stuff to give you before you leave.

Reinholdt stopped his packing and followed his uncle down the hall. Dirk kept glancing around and being all secretive, as if he had something inestimably valuable stashed in his room. Which, of course, he did.

Here, I had brought this with me. Hoped to go on some more adventures, but I've put on a little weight since I got it and it doesn't really fit anymore. Besides, I think you'll need it more. Dirk dug around under his bed, coming up holding a suit of hobbit-sized chainmail that shone like silver.

You know, this would have been really handy back on Ambush hill.

Yeah, but that's not my fault, now is it? Here, put it on. I have to find my map.

By the time Reinholdt left Dirk's room, he'd acquired not only the armour and map, but a compass, a water bottle, a pack of soap, three bottles of vintage wine, Dirk's old sword and a bath towel with the number '42' emblazoned on it in large friendly letters.

Hey Reinholdt, where'd you get all the stuff?

Dirk. He figured I'd need it. You done packing?

Yep, got everything. pots, pans, flint and tinder.. I picked up the standard issue 'adventuring supply package' at the Rivendell gift shop.

Awesome. I've still got to find room for all this stuff, as well as a few other things I hadn't got around to finding yet.

DeeRee nodded sympathetically. Packing up again is such a bother. Come one, I'll help you get it over with.

Thanks. Reinholdt shifted his pile of stuff so he could give her a hug, then the two of them went off to finish loading his stuff into bags.

Meanwhile, Nil had finally cornered Raistlin again. He'd been trying to get another chance to talk to him since after the concert. Did they get that sword finished yet?

Yeah, they finished it. I got it in here with the spare guitars. Raistlin reached back bahind his chair and grabbed the handle of a large sword, which he spun around and handed to Nil. Dunno why you insisted we reforge this for you so fast. You aren't supposed to get it till later.

In the books, I get it here.

Sorry, Dude. Only seen the movie.

The books came first.. Nil grumbled and stalked off, taking his new sword with him.

[hr]

The Fellowship assembled at the gates to Rivendell. Last minute checks were run, items were lost, found, and re-packed, and everyone had said their goodbyes. Well, almost everyone.

Niiiii-iiiil! The elf in white was hurrying down the road towards them. Nil gritted his teeth and turned around, muttering. You didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to me, did you?

No, Celtois, not at all.

Because I was looking for you and I think I saw you once but you turned around and went the other way so it must not have been you because you didn't say goodbye yet and you're about to leave. Celtois giggled. So I came out here to see you off!

That's great. Unfortunately we really do have to be going now. They're all waiting. Nil gestured at the the other eight members of the fellowship, all of whom were sitting around, chatting and looking generally disinterested.

No, they can wait. Come on Nil, you haven't been around to see me in aaaaaages. Celtois practically tackled the larger man, who grunted and patted her on the back.

Yeah, I know. Promise I'll come back and visit after I get to be ki- He stopped short.

What was that?

Nothing. It's not important. You should get back inside, alright? It's cold out here.

Will do! Come and visit more often, ok? She bounced off, and Nil breathed a sigh of relief.

Normally she's clingier than that. Alright, everyone! Let's hit the road!

And hit the road they did. The path was long, and rather boring, and won't be described in too much detail beyond the fact that it was long and boring and almost completely devoid of interesting things to talk about.

It stopped being long and boring when they started to get closer to the mountains. The walked along a dried up streambed for a time, eventually arriving at the doors to the mines of Moria. Fred explained that the dwarf name for it was Khazad Doom, which meant 'really big nasty things live here' when it was roughly translated.

Ok, I know you all want to toss rocks into the pond next to the door, but seriously, don't do that.

Why? Something going to pop out and eat us?

Yes.

Yeah, I can see that being a good reason to not do it.

Should we do it anyways?

Yes, I think so.

No! Nil grabbed Twobit and Cristo and dragged them back from the water.

Aw, why not?

Because the thing that lives in that lake is big, it's nasty, and more to the point, the author hasn't cast anyone for that role. The Saint glanced over at Destro, who was scratching his head and staring at the door. Just knock already! These two want to disturb the watcher!

Yes, yes, I know. But it won't do any good. The wizard rapped on the door with his staff, and turned back around. See? Told you. Nobody's ho-

Destro was interrupted when a small panel in the door slid aside and a pair of beady eyes stared out at him. 'Ere, said the thing on the other side of the door. Wot's the password? It looked closer. Oy, youz ain't orcs! Get 'im, ladz! Green figures with crossbows appeared at the top of the cliff, staring down at the nine people milling about below.

Bugger. Said Destro.

[Reinholdt]

Bugger indeed.

The books did come first! And I read them first! Way... long ago.

>>
Draken could have been the watcher. Oh well. No harm.
I agree with Cristo and TwoBit. All the more reason to throw stones in!

Keep up the great work Destro.

[Helgraf]

Bah, forum crash means few people to comment on the drabble quartet.

Overcaffinated. ... way overcaffinated.

project project project mushroom

[Kneenibble]

@Daddy Tooby: things may not be as they seem. Or they may be. You'll have to wait and see.

Another Queen Song fic:

Kneen/rubakhin:
Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy

Curly, thank you very much for that ship. It's a touching, erotic, and eloquent piece of writing. I am honoured.

[Reinholdt]

Alright. There's been some discussion and we've decided that Redemption is becoming WAY too unwieldy. As such, we are requesting a temporary halt in ALL Redemption stories.

Me, Happy, and Mordokai are going to go over the story and get a better outline of what's going to happen.

Which probably means no more loose plot points coming up and instead plot points starting to get resolved.

We may also come to individual writers and/or owner with ideas and collaborate with them.

Oh and don't be surprised if we ask your character to die. You people are in a war. Deaths happen. A lot. We hope you'll be willing to accept this.

[Helgraf]

Alright. There's been some discussion and we've decided that Redemption is becoming WAY too unwieldy. As such, we are requesting a temporary halt in ALL Redemption stories.

Me, Happy, and Mordokai are going to go over the story and get a better outline of what's going to happen.

Which probably means no more loose plot points coming up and instead plot points starting to get resolved.

We may also come to individual writers and/or owner with ideas and collaborate with them.

Oh and don't be surprised if we ask your character to die. You people are in a war. Deaths happen. A lot. We hope you'll be willing to accept this.

Awww, I never get to be on the sekrit council of deciding stuffs. ;(

[Fredthefighter]

Everytime I visit this thread it's always filled with awesome. Pure unadulterated awesome.

[Helgraf]

Cool. You've been using Egyptian as the base?

Credit for much of the Egyptian work goes to Curly. The story is my hand, but the egyptian terms were compiled by her.

[happyturtle]

Awww, I never get to be on the sekrit council of deciding stuffs. ;(

Get msn! All the sekrit stuff happens there.

[Mordokai]

Seems like I have some reading to do before night comes...

[Fredthefighter]

Seems like I have some reading to do before night comes...

Night? It's 10:24am where I live.
Anyway, I might post another fic in roughly 3 to 5 hours.

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Spoilers on my next fic
1) Fred forms a band!
2) Fred gets his revenge on Rabbit
DUN DUN DUNH!

EDIT: I have msn. If anyone wants my e-mail address then just send me a PM and I'll get back to you.

[Reinholdt]

v.v The problem is, some ships have been added earlier in the chronological sequence, so the order of the stories have changed.

So, don't be surprised if you miss one or two.

[Fredthefighter]

I'm having trouble deciding on something for my next fic.
I don't know whether to use "Take it all away" by Puddle of Mudd, or to use "Your love is just a lie" by Simple Plan.
Any suggestions?

[happyturtle]

Roll a d2?

= flip a coin

[Fredthefighter]

Roll a d2?

= flip a coin

Hmmmmmmm, ok.
Heads= Puddle of Mudd
Tails= Simple Plan
Best 2 out of 3
Result 1= Heads
Result 2= Tails
Result 3= Heads.
Puddle of mudd it is then.
Thankyou for your assistance.

[ghost_warlock]

*cough* Puddle of Mudd *cough*

[Fredthefighter]

NOOOOOOOO!
I just wrote out most of my next fic in the submit reply box and then I hit the back button by accident! It's all been lost!

[Mordokai]

Click forward and it should fix the problem

[Fredthefighter]

I tried it but it just came up with a blank text box.
I have Internet Explorer.

[Mordokai]

Case in point, get yourself a Firefox.

Or write your ships in your text editor and then copy them in the browser, like I'm doing.

[Fredthefighter]

Case in point, get yourself a Firefox.

Or write your ships in your text editor and then copy them in the browser, like I'm doing.

I'm not happy right now. Not happy at all.
Quite bitter and vengeful really, bitter and vengeful enough to kill.
Quick, get me half a dozen low-level bad guys.