Apparatus of the Crab

[Ladorak]

Just wondering...

Has anyone ever used this thing like... ever? I mean even if I really needed something at the bottum of the ocean and Cloak of the Manta ray was banned I'd rather build a construct and send it down for all the money it costs...

[Emperor Tippy]

Can't say that I have. I think we might have found one once and promptly sold it.

[Shpadoinkle]

I'm copy-pasting this from the writer's site, but it pretty accurately describes the arguments against it. (Spoiler tags are for space, not spoilers.)

Spoiler

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The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy describes the Aparatus of Qualish as 'the most advanced magical self-contained trashcan in Dungeons and Dragons', and it is without a doubt at least 10 years ahead of its closest competitor.

(clipped for space)

The Apparatus of Qualish, thus, takes both of these inventions (note: Daern's Instant Fortress and half-plate armor) to their natural (magical self-contained trashcan) conclusion. Though at first it appears to be nothing more than an overlarge sealed iron barrel, it is actually riddled with hidden ports from which emerge an array of lobster-like legs and feelers, and a tail. In fact, the Apparatus functions as something of a medieval amphibious submarine vehicle with a 2-man capacity, featuring such brilliant innovations as unlabelled and difficult to manipulate controls, an air supply determined by a random die roll, and pincer attacks which deal respectable damage. Or it would be respectable, perhaps, if not for 2 factors: 1) anyone skimming the Monstrous Manual might notice that all monsters that live underwater tend to be larger and far more dangerous than their land-based counterparts, probably to balance out the fact that players characters are always at a natural disadvantage in underwater combat, and 2) the Apparatus costs an Astounding 90,000 gold, which you would be 'out' if some giant squid crushed it. Compare this price to a Cloak of the Manta Ray (a 7200 gold item that grants you an array of excellent abilities in salt water, camouflages you as a native animal, moves three times as fast and does NOT have a limit on its airsupply), or a Headband of Intellect +6 (a 36000 gold item that would likely cause you to think better of this whole underwater affair).

So, yeah. Sell it to someone with more money than sense, or just scrap it for parts or something.

BTW, the writer's site is here: http://agc.deskslave.org/ The page I took the quote from is here: http://agc.deskslave.org/excerpt_vie...l?goNumber=108

[Ladorak]

That quote is hilarious, I'm so checking out that website

[Kris Strife]

No ones made a 'hit the weak point for massive damage' joke yet? I'm dissapointed.

[KillianHawkeye]

Eh, it's just a holdover from an older edition of D&D where it was probably cooler and more useful. Probably.

[Deth Muncher]

Eh, it's just a holdover from an older edition of D&D where it was probably cooler and more useful. Probably.

Lke Fighters?

[Ascension]

The Cloak of the Manta Ray itself goes back at least to 2E. I can't recall off the top of my head if it was cheaper and more useful than the Apparatus in 2E, though.

[Lamech]

I was under the impression magic items were not for sale in 2E...

[ericgrau]

I was under the impression magic items were not for sale in 2E...

Big ones like this one aren't. Ditto for 3e or 4e, yet that doesn't seem to sway any gaming groups.

Anyway it does seem to have very high hardness and HP. In fact it's very hard for a giant squid to damage it at all, and even when it does the damage is piddly. It's own damage is fairly low, but at least it has something. It seems good for safe underwater exploration at least, unlike magic items that send in vulnerable PCs.

[afroakuma]

It's a holdover from the early days when you took the ridiculous items because you had no choice.

God, Gygax's game must have been fun, for all that the man had a bent sense of humor.

[Emperor Tippy]

BTW, the writer's site is here: http://agc.deskslave.org/ The page I took the quote from is here: http://agc.deskslave.org/excerpt_vie...l?goNumber=108

Ugh. What's with the GM in those excerpts? *is so glad that he has never had to play with a DM like that*

[monty]

Anyway it does seem to have very high hardness and HP. In fact it's very hard for a giant squid to damage it at all, and even when it does the damage is piddly. It's own damage is fairly low, but at least it has something. It seems good for safe underwater exploration at least, unlike magic items that send in vulnerable PCs.

Or, y'know, you could just get a stone golem. Same price, also hard to kill, and it doesn't risk you at all.