Porpose flail

[Jayngfet]

I was wondering:

Since a celestial porpose is sentient and could feasably be played(though with some difficulty). Can a large sized character use it as an improvised heavy flail. Meaning you can move both players with one turn and with a locked gauntlet they cannot be separated. Making it a sorcerer and using mage hand eliminates the need for hands.

[Nohwl]

i would have the character being used as a weapon take damage equal to what was dealt to the thing being attacked, but i would allow it.

[Dyllan]

What? Why? Huh?

Where'd you come up with THAT question?

[Jayngfet]

Because it's awesome, that's why I want it.

[Fjolnir]

that's easy, the celetial porpoise is in the hands of a druid, cleric or paladin who repeatedly heals said living dire flail

[Dacia Brabant]

Well at least you didn't ask for swordfish-chucks.

Wouldn't you need an absurdly high Strength score and/or huge to gargantuan size to pull this off? Porpoises weigh around 150 lbs., that's about as much as a colossal dire flail.

[Fjolnir]

that's why the celestial porpose charecter is a mage, shrink or tk to ensure his wielder can lift him

[monty]

Play a Hulking Hurler/Bloodstorm Blade, then. The only thing more awesome than hitting someone with a porpoise is using said porpoise to turn the field into a giant pinball machine.

[Blackfang108]

Play a Hulking Hurler/Bloodstorm Blade, then. The only thing more awesome than hitting someone with a porpoise is using said porpoise to turn the field into a giant pinball machine.

Made of Win.

[Tsotha-lanti]

None of that makes any sense, starting with "porpose".

[Fixer]

Fixer's official GM response: No

Not even with a -4 for improvised weapon.
Not even with the permission of the porpoise.
Not even on your friggin' birthday.

Porpoise are slippery when wet. When they are not wet, they are taking injuries from dryness. Any attempt at wielding a live porpoise as a weapon will result in the demise of the porpoise in question, and the wielder by virtue of DEATH BY FALLING COWS.

[monty]

Fixer's official GM response: No

Not even with a -4 for improvised weapon.
Not even with the permission of the porpoise.
Not even on your friggin' birthday.

Porpoise are slippery when wet. When they are not wet, they are taking injuries from dryness. Any attempt at wielding a live porpoise as a weapon will result in the demise of the porpoise in question, and the wielder by virtue of DEATH BY FALLING COWS.

That's why you cast (Greater) Magic Weapon on it first. Magic porpoises don't follow normal rules.

[Dyllan]

...DEATH BY FALLING COWS.

Feche la vache!

[streakster]

Porpoise are slippery when wet. When they are not wet, they are taking injuries from dryness.

Locked gauntlet to combat slipperiness, and decanter of endless water strapped to our helmet to keep him refreshed. Simple.

[Spiryt]

Locked gauntlet to combat slipperiness, and decanter of endless water strapped to our helmet to keep him refreshed. Simple.

Better do it properly, drill a hole in porpoises tail, and fix the chain and the handle.

[Tyrmatt]

DEATH BY FALLING COWS.

Groooovy....

[Animefunkmaster]

Here is how you can do this by raw.

Porpoises are mammals that tend to be playful, friendly, and helpful. A typical porpoise is 4 to 6 feet long and weighs 110 to 160 pounds.

Improvised Weapons

in a fight is considered to be non-proficient with it and thus takes a –4 penalty on attack rolls made with it. An improvised weapon scores a threat (a possible critical hit) on a natural roll of 20 and deals double damage on a critical hit. An improvised thrown weapon has a range increment of 10 feet.

The weapon you can successfully wield oddly has nothing to do with your apparent strength but with your size (Complete Warrior 159).

For medium creatures:
2 pounds or less (light weapon)
2-10 pounds (1 handed weapon)
11-50 pounds (two handed weapon)

Double or half these based on sizes going up or down.

With that said a huge creature should be able to wield the playful/friendly/helpful porpoise as a two handed weapon and deals 4d6 damage. There aren’t many good pc races that are huge so let’s see what we can work with.

Goliath (or Half Giant) is a good start, they can wield up to 100 pounds (the anorexic porpoise). Slap on an enlarge person (or heaven forbid a monkey grip that’s stackable with Powerful build) and you got yourself a weapon. Given how the animal in question doesn’t have dr or anything that is like hardness I can’t help but think it would take the damage it deals out to foes.

[monty]

All the more reason to use Hulking Hurler, since you can throw anything you can carry as a light load (or medium, if you take a second level in it). By my estimate, you only need 17 Strength for a Large creature to throw a heavier porpoise.

[krossbow]

Is this in any way related to the legendary rat flail?

[Jayngfet]

The porpose can wield the rat flail in its mouth.

[Lappy9000]

I was wondering:

Since a celestial porpose is sentient and could feasably be played(though with some difficulty). Can a large sized character use it as an improvised heavy flail. Meaning you can move both players with one turn and with a locked gauntlet they cannot be separated. Making it a sorcerer and using mage hand eliminates the need for hands.

I'd advise using a narwhal for the added piercing damage.

[Ravens_cry]

Is this in any way related to the legendary rat flail?

It needs the improved version.

[wykydtron]

i would have the character being used as a weapon take damage equal to what was dealt to the thing being attacked, but i would allow it.

I would have to agree, but then use the variant rules from UA to give the armor damage reduction adn what not.

[Spiryt]

Is this in any way related to the legendary rat flail?

It's more related to this actually, even though porpoises are mammals.

[Roderick_BR]

Play a Hulking Hurler/Bloodstorm Blade, then. The only thing more awesome than hitting someone with a porpoise is using said porpoise to turn the field into a giant pinball machine.

And when someone bothers the wielder, he can lift up the porpose and say "talk to the hand."