The wizard who condones chicken fighting.

[RavKal]

So, familiars. Weak, generally useless, and only sometimes worth their weight.

Say a party is walking down a road, and then off to the side they see this middle-aged wizard holding a rooster. He is wearing no clothes, aside from a crooked, patched wizard hat. He explains that he has recently lost his money when he bet on his chicken familiar in a fight. He mumbles something about upgrades, and then wanders off.

Later, the group is walking through the dark alleys of somesuch city, when they hear clucks mixed with whirs and roars. As they round a corner, they find the wizard (still naked) jumping up and down with glee as his chicken intermittently slices up another with a chainsaw or breathes fire at it.

Now, this is my concept. A chicken with warforged/golem/undead/dragon grafts. Dear friends, let us optimize!

[Archpaladin Zousha]

That is one scary chicken!

[Chronos]

Required reading. See also the next one.

[Hat-Trick]

GODZIRRA!!!

Sorry, anyway, Buffs work as well, and you don't need to pay for them unless you wand them. Mage Armor works, share spell and all.

[RavKal]

Required reading. See also the next one.

Those are some of my favorites, lol.

But seriously, there's got to be something for awesome chicken fights. It's part of my obsession with having players do strange and seemingly unnecessary things.

Such as fight through a small army of adolescents armed with whips in a desperate attempt to grab a cheese and thus prove their manliness.

[Seffbasilisk]

Why grafts?

Why not selective breeding for templates?

I could see a Mineral Warrior Blooded Half-Dragon Chicken cleaning up.

[RavKal]

Why grafts?

Why not selective breeding for templates?

I could see a Mineral Warrior Blooded Half-Dragon Chicken cleaning up.

I said optimized, I want a list of everything I can put on a chicken. Condiments not intended.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

Why grafts?

Why not selective breeding for templates?

I could see a Mineral Warrior Blooded Half-Dragon Chicken cleaning up.

In that vein:
Share Spells: Mage Armor, Shield, Tensor's Transformation, Alter Self, Disguise Self, and Overland Flight
Buff with Bear's Endurance, Bull's Str, Cat's Grace, Greater Heroism, Haste, Animal Growth, and Rage

And then toss on Magic Aura and despite having a chicken that could eat a Halfling, that moves faster than seems possible, that's stronger and tougher than any chicken ever seen, isn't magical. Just really, really angry.

Or you could go Arcane Heirophant. It's possible for your pet to be stronger than most Fighters if you go that route, though maybe not as a Chicken.

[JeminiZero]

Steps to creating a very scary chicken (sort of):
1. Take the Emerald Legion
2. Add Dire-Were-Chicken to the Lycanthropic Protocol
3. Have these Legionnaires shift to Dire-Chicken form to fight
4. ???
5. Profit!

[RavKal]

Steps to creating a very scary chicken (sort of):
1. Take the Emerald Legion
2. Add Dire-Were-Chicken to the Lycanthropic Protocol
3. Have these Legionnaires shift to Dire-Chicken form to fight
4. ???
5. Profit!

Ah! That's the title of that thread! I knew I'd read it and it kept nagging at me. Ok, so i'll work up stats today when I have free time.

[Fizban]

Problem: on the off chance your familiar dies in the ring, you lose xp.

Solution: use either homunculi, other constructs, or a prestige class that replaces your familiar with a different companion that is more easily replaceable (such as Elemental Summoner or Master of Shadow). Although we lose the point of it being a familar, we open the door to a lot more variety of competitors, including all manner of companions and constructs.

I don't think there's anything stopping you from adding grafts to a construct either. Trick out your base quadraped of choice with rock launchers, chainsaws, and anything else you can pull out of your planar binding.

For familiar spells, I suggest Bite of the WereX, the polymorph subschool, and Imbue Familiar with Spell Ability. Imbue whatever spells might be useful in advance, spend one round buffing with the polymorph (swift) and Bite. Assuming only 6th level spells, your familiar now has the stat block of a young red dragon. Including breath weapon, 6 attacks, an extra +12 strength, net +7 to AC, and (assuming CL 12th) four 4th level spells of your choice in it's belt.

Actually, just Imbue Familiar with Spell Ability. That will tear through any familiar that doesn't have it, because it means your familiar is now actually a wizard.

Might I suggest laying some ground rules for this arena? If buffing is unlimited, it's really just a caster fight by proxy. If you actually want to stress the upgrading cybernetic familiars aspect you might want to impose a full dispel upon entering the arena.

As for grafts: I suggest ignoring the new grafting rules from Magic of Eberron/ Races of the Dragon. The grafts already costs double the base price, as is proper, you really shouldn't have to pay permanent hp and ability points for them, and limiting people to one type of creature is just mean. You should impose a limit on how many though, the stated 5 is good.

Perusing grafts: Vampire Fangs from Libris Mortis would be impressive if the chicken can grapple well. Nothing interesting in Races of the Dragon unless you absolutely must have it breathe fire without help. Lords of Madness is where it gets interesting: mucous projectors, [fast] healing blood (very expensive), and the silithar heart for emergency healing. Finally, the Fiend Folio has the most selection, but also the oldest, and most wonky pricing. Choices include wings, tails, tentacles, and the rock launcher.

[Arcane_Snowman]

So, familiars. Weak, generally useless, and only sometimes worth their weight.

Familiar's Handbook. Choosing the right familiar is quite important, SRD or Core only it would probably be the Raven that'd be the best (as it can fly and carry a wand in it's claws, which it should be capable of activating provided you have enough UMD)

[RavKal]

Familiar's Handbook. Choosing the right familiar is quite important, SRD or Core only it would probably be the Raven that'd be the best (as it can fly and carry a wand in it's claws, which it should be capable of activating provided you have enough UMD)

It's really more of a DM's toy of amusement than a character concept. The idea is to use a /chicken/, since it is a rather humorous choice of familiar.