Dancing Fox Inn LV: Choreographed woodland creatures never looked so good!

[Durp]

((Banner by Celtois))

Welcome to the Dancing Fox Inn! Come and try our one of a kind beverages and food, chat with friends, or grab a private room and relax. All are welcome to the Dancing Fox Inn.

We would like to ask, please, no smoking in the establishment. Thank you for understanding.. Be sure to enjoy your stay.

Map:
There is no map. The Inn has as much space as is needed, as many tables as is needed, as many rooms as needed (Upstairs), as many corners as needed, and so on.
There is, however, a description:

Description:
Spoiler

Current Staff:
Nerick- Barkeep and Manager
???- Barboy
Gabriella - Barmaid
Julie - Waiter
Jessica - Cook
??? - Bard
(If the person with the job, such as the barboy, if that person does not come around for a month (Or so), they lose the job. Not to be mean, but to clear up the space, so that someone else who might want it can have it.)
NOW HIRING: A Waiter / Waitresses, and a janitor.
If you're none of these but think you can help ask about a job, ask Nerick, IC.
((Also if you have a Banner idea, please, PM it to... dunno, Quinsar or Celtois.))

NPCs:
Spoiler


THE MENU:
Be sure to keep an eye out for our DAILY SPECIALS!
Wines*:
Chimera Cabernet - A hearty red with hits of oak and black cherry.
Elven Wine – imported straight from Elven lands
Merfolk Merlot - Full-bodied with a hint of rose.

Bar Drinks*:
Swampwater - A delicious lemon-lime delight
Shocker Lizard’s Chider – Sends a shock through your body, bound to wake you up
Mai Tai - Dark and pineapple juice.
Sneak on the Beach - Vodka, Cranberry juice, pineapple juice and Peach Schapps.
Rust Monster - Scotch and Drambuie
Coffee - buzzzzz.
Ice Liqueur - Guaranteed to cool you down.
Dragon's Liver Buster - The strongest drink in the house. Don't say we didn't warn you...
Ichor Liquor - Made from a fermented mix of various kinds of blood, the perfect drink for vampires and similar creatures, like Kurvis.
Haley's Liquer - named for the redheaded rogue, a sweet creme liquer, excellent over ice.
Wizard Blizzard - The effect depends on the spell stored in it. Other than that, it's made with crushed ice and Bourbon.
Manticore Martini – a regular Martini but stirred with a spike from a Manticore tail, giving it an exotic taste.
Melon Juice – relaxes the mind - Now available without alcohol!
Green Tea - with a hint of sugar
Beholder's Earl Grey - It's a tea named after everyone's favorite abberation. Need I say more?
Root Beer – For those who have a weak stomach
Cold Milk – For the kids
Burning Brandy- To keep the Archbishop happy
Apple Cider - Non-alcoholic, fruity goodness!

Beers, Ales & Such*:
Thunder Ale - puts a boom in your tummy
Grim Brewery brand Ginger Ale - deathly good
Dwarven Brandy - comes from dwarven lands
Pirate's Drink (Rum) - Be drunk while saying "Yarrr!"
Guilders Ale - a tasty treat that doesn't mess with your mind
Rouges Rum - Warning: You may pickpocket while drunk
Fairy Ale - You'll think you can fly

Fizzy Drinks: (courtesy of Leigh and Mee. Thanks!)
Blueberry buzz - Spyte soda, with blueberries, and blueberry syrup in it.
Banana beer - Root beer, banana slices, whipped cream on the top, and a cherry on that.
Leigh special - A warm coffee (Bubbly, of course...with your choice of a hazelnut or chocolate flavor), with a swirl of peppermint, a stick of cocoa, and optional sprinkles and whipped cream.
Triple threat - Root beer and coffee swirled together, with a lemon wedge jammed on the rim.
K's special - Carbonated water, mixed with cream, pineapple flavoring, coconut sprinkled on top, then a few strawberries dropped into it. Very good.
Ice cream float - Your choice of flavors.
The cute drink - Just like K's special, but it has some fruit on the top. A lime slice as a smile, and two cherries as eyes. It's cute. It also comes with a little umbrella.
Spryte - the regular, boring drink.

Food:
Peanuts
Chips & Dip
Curry - Chicken, beef, pork, or seafood
Cured Ham Steak
BBQ Hydra Heads
Salads (Spring Greens, Caesar, and Italian Pasta)
Pork Chops
Mutton Chops
Golden Apple
Fish (Cod, Eel, Trout, Salmon) – Served with a lemon wedge
Fresh Bread
Fine Aged Cheddar
Fava Beans
Birdseed
Berries - all kinds, blue, black, straw
Roasted Quail - kinda like a small turkey
And anything else you may want. Just ask.

Dessert:
Muffins
Brownies
Slice of cake (Chocolate, cheese, whatever...)
Milkshake
Cookies
Pie (Pick a flavor)

*Can substitute the alcohol for a magical liquid that can make anybody drunk, no matter what the resistance, for a little extra.

We hope you enjoy your stay at the Dancing Fox Inn.

__________________

[Chas the mage]

As I was saying:
richard chucks a splintered floor board at the soldier guy.

[Durp]

Ummm... Sure, I suppose Redna is here.
Hey, everybody! I'm back from the drone battle- AHHHH!
He ducks under the board.

[Beans]

The Umu blinks in thought.
I don't remember much... I suppose I would've been asking them to quiet down.

Thryza sighs.
Flying boards. Isn't this a lovely environment to raise an impressionable young daughter?

[Durp]

He stands up and points at Richard.
Great frikkin' way to thank me for saving the damn town!!

Meh. She's a well adjusted kid. She'll pull through.
(( Emus can blink? Who knew? ))

[Beans]

True... but I still dread her teen years...

[Durp]

Ugh. Teen years.

Bio is currently playing with Bite size. They're playing some odd, foreign game. They hold hands and skip in a circle, until one of them yells:
Ashi!
And the other taps his/her hand to the body part specified. Bite size puts one hand to his leg, still skipping.
Atama!
Bio taps her head. This continues until one of them finally has to stop skipping, or trips.

[Beans]

Cess looks on in slight amusement.
Never thought I'd see that happening... especially after what we did to the Charity Scouts. She smiles toothily and really unpleasantly.

Thryza blinks.
Yeah, I mean, look at Neiz---wait, is Bitey playing with Bio or did somebody slip me some drugs? If it's the second option, why am I not feeling totally lunched?

[Durp]

She's okay. Not as bad as most kids. This is a game I learned on a mission in Japan.
Hiza!
He grabs his knee.

Huh. I thought he hated kids...

[Beans]

Maybe it's her capability for horrible violence. I mean, it worked for evil-harlot-mini-me---
My name is Cess.
I repeat, evil-harlot-mini-me. Except unlike E.H.M.M., our lovely little daughter isn't a horrible, violence-addicted Triad enforcer who drinks like a barrel of fish and smokes like a forest fire.

[stopwatch]

Nitsuj undeadtimes
(What's going on here???)

[Durp]

(( Not really anything... ))
Give her a few years! Ken.
Bio touches her fist.

[Beans]

((Thryza and Chris, a married couple, are watching their daughter Bio as she plays a Japanese game with "Bite Size", the alternate-reality 12-year-old version of Chris... while Cess, the alternate-reality-13-year-old version of Thryza, watches as well. Bitey and Cess are both characterized by their tendencies toward extreme and impulsive violence.))

Alright, we really need to hammer in the message of responsibility and not being a jerk.
And why would you want to do that?
Because we don't want her to be like you.

[Durp]

Burn.

You call that a burn? Bio, take it from here.
You smell like oil and blood!
Good, but you always need to rule out the fact that he might take it as a compliment.
But he's my Dad!
Ah-ah-ah, we call them "Patsies"
Patsies.

[Beans]

Well, sadly for you, Bio, being a Patsy runs in the family. Thus making you one. Counter-burn. She says this coolly, not trying to be unkind.
Cess sighs.
People are so touchy over the kids that they squirt out every day. Why?

[Durp]

I think "squirt" has got to be the best verb to be associated with "birth" ever.
Ewww.
Quiet, you.

[Beans]

Thryza sighs.
It's funny, I guess. Chris and I are made for each other. Our alt-versions are horrible people, and they're still made for each other.

[Durp]

Ugh. I hope not. That'd be one f*cked up couple.

[Beans]

I'm not going to bother thinking of their babies.

And since our wonderful daughter has made no reply to my counter-burn, I guess I win this round.

[Durp]

She's playing the game with Bite size again.

Huh. She can speak japanese.

[Shades of Gray]

((How old is Bio now?))

Also, Friedler is here. Wearing a conical hat, he's also smoking.

[Durp]

(( Seven. ))

[Quinsar]

Speaking of babies, Jess is rocking Hammah behind the bar.

[Beans]

Am I the only one in this family not to know twelve languages? I mean, I love you all more than life itself, but seriously---is this some sort of karma for all those times I was a stripper for about half an hour before killing the strip-club's manager for slaving me into it and burning the place to the ground? Have the spirits of decapitated pimps come back to make my entire family linguists?
She sighs.
Chris, when we have time, teach me a language. Any language. Any language at all.
((Spaced out. Sowwy.))

[Durp]

He pulls out a needle.
Give me your arm.

[Beans]

I can see where this is going. Needles in this context mean either A, language injection, or B, kinky drugs that will prevent me from knowing what the heck language I'm speaking anyway.
... Yeah, this better be A.
She sticks out her arm.
You were a stripper? What kinda parent are y---
Not helping.

[Durp]

Oh, this is B. You're a funky thang when you're high. You let me do weird sh*t to you.
She'll feel just a bit woozy as languages enter her brain. About ten, actually.

[stopwatch]

Nitsuj looks with interest. A needle that teaches languages sounds awesome. The drugging up part sounds like a funny prank to pull on enemies too.

[Beans]

She blinks.
Whoa... You know, you really don't have the proper amount of melanin in your skin to say "thang." And yeah, I'd gladly accept your offer of illicit-substance-intoxiated fun-times if it wasn't for the fact that we have a child, a highly impressionable one, right next to us.
She falls out of her chair.
But that's what sleepovers are for. The kid's away, get smeared on Slake or Slicker or anything else that starts with S and makes your brain [go bzzz, boink each other's brains out, et cetera.] The text within brackets is a translation, as that is when her brain decides to test out these new languages.

[Durp]

German, huh? I never was a big fan. Try spanish.

You two act like Bite size hasn't filled me in on this stuff, so to speak.
Bitey, I'm giving you five seconds to-
He's already gone.
REDNA! Get him!
John jumps out a window, after Bite size.